Ten days before departure, evening
Quilibet Lyr stood unwillingly in the Temple courtyard. There was a sharp ache in her chest where her heart was, but her eyes were dry as she stared at the funeral pyre, refusing to believe what was happening. They’d told her again and again that her master was dead, and even though he wasn’t, they’d put him on the pyre anyway. One of the Councilmembers stepped forward and plunged a lightsaber deep into the specially treated wood. Flames appeared almost immediately, spreading to the right and left and working their way upwards towards the body. Master Radjedef lay there, more still than she had ever seen him sleep.
„No...“But Quilibet’s protest was so quiet that nobody heard it over the crackling of the fire. Keeping her head bowed slightly and moving only her eyes, she glanced around the solemn circle of Jedi, seeing everyone who had come out of respect for the Caamasi Master. They all believed that he was dead, they wouldn’t listen to her when she told them he wasn’t. It was just the deepest of all healing trances. None of them, not even one, expected the heat of the flames to wake him. Of course the entire Council was there. They came to every funeral. She knew that already. They’d been at the funeral of her first master only two years ago.
Her first master. She’d been a Caamasi, too, small and gentle, patient and loving. At first, Quilibet had thought she would survive the horrific injuries she’d received when they’d crashed on that planet. Master Nektanebos had been conscious enough to tell Quilibet how to activate the emergency signal, and had encouraged her to do things while they waited; build a shelter, look for water, start a fire. She’d spoken fondly of her first Padawan, Radjedef, but not as though she knew she’d never see him again. Rescue had come two days later. Quilibet still remembered the thrill she’d felt as she saw the ship coming in for a landing. And then she’d gone back to where Master Nektanebos was lying in the shelter. There had been a hint of a smile on her furry face, but no movement of her chest.
So many people had come for that funeral. Most of them were here again. It was all so senseless! They shouldn’t be here. This shouldn’t be happening. Radjedef and Quilibet had been on a peaceful mission, acting as ambassadors of the Senate to witness a wedding. A servant had brought a vase of fresh flowers to their room, and as Radjedef had never seen such blooms before, he’d reached out to draw one closer to his nose. He hadn’t noticed the tiny thorn until it pricked his finger, and there was no way he could have known that the sap was particularly toxic to Caamasi. Although he’d struggled, and Quilibet had poured all her strength into him, trying to support his healing trance, his breathing had stilled before sundown that day. Two days ago. Quilibet had piloted him back to the Temple as fast as she could, feverishly hoping that the Healers could do something to revive him. When they told her he had died, she didn’t believe them. He was only asleep, in a deep healing trance. He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t have left her like that. He’d promised!
Although she knew that Healer Leona was there at her side, Quilibet did not turn her head to look at her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Leona’s hands crossed in front of her, the right one placed over the left, and then she glanced back to the funeral pyre.
Master Radjedef’s hands were placed that way, too, the right one over the left. She remembered how soft and downy they’d felt against her own smooth, human skin. Master Radjedef had often stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers, but when she looked for them now, they were obscured by the orange flames. As Quilibet watched in silent protest, something caught her eye. There--something blue! A moment later, she saw Master Radjedef--or rather--his spirit, standing on the other side of the pyre. Quilibet opened her mouth in surprise, feeling agony stab through her heart. So it was true. The Healers had been right--Master Radjedef really was dead. His spirit had left his body behind, and the way it was rapidly being consumed, there was no chance of him returning. She was just about to call his name when she saw a second figure appear next to the first one, then gasped as she recognised Master Nektanebos. Smiling up at Radjedef, the older Caamasi extended one hand, and Radjedef smiled as well, happy to be meeting her again. Nektanebos had been a master to both of them.
„No!“Quilibet screamed, more loudly this time.“NO! Don’t leave me! Master Rad, you said you wouldn’t leave me! You promised you’d never leave me! You PROMISED!“
They both turned, looking at her with surprise and something akin to pity. Quilibet didn’t want their pity, she wanted to be with them, both of them, both of her masters. She rushed forwards, focused only on the two spirits, and put out one hand as though to catch them, but something barreled into her from the side, and she fell hard onto the stones of the courtyard.
„No! Quilibet, don’t!“
She recognised vaguely that it was Gethin Territ, one of the young healers, holding her to the ground, and tried to escape his grip.“Let me go!“
As she struggled to stand up, he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her away from the funeral pyre and towards Healer Leona. “Quilibet. Listen to me. He’s gone. You have to accept that.“
„No, he’s not, he’s there, they’re both there, they’re waiting for me. Please! I can still catch them, don’t let them go without me!“She managed to twist around in his arms to look at the flames again, but the blue brightness had disappeared completely. There was no sign of Master Nektanebos or Master Radjedef. They had gone. They’d left her behind.
„You promised!“Quilibet called out, but her body was rapidly losing its strength and will to move.“Master Rad, you promised!“
Her knees buckled and she collapsed, tears stinging her eyes for the first time since losing her second master.
Nine days before departure, early evening.
„Quilibet?“asked Healer Leona gently from the doorway.
Lying on her side on the bed, her padawan braid curled tightly around one hand, Quilibet mumbled,“Go away.“
„The Council wants to see you. Come on, get up.“
After the funeral, Healer Leona had invited Quilibet to come and stay with her and her apprentice Dimallie in their small apartment. Nektanebos and Leona had been friends since their creche days, and Quilibet had stayed with the healer once before when Nektanebos had managed to both break and dislocate her knee, and had been required to stay in the infirmary for the better part of two weeks. After Nektanebos’ death, Leona had offered as well to have Quilibet stay with her, but Radjedef had already asked her to become his padawan. She’d simply stayed in the apartment that she’d shared with Nektanebos, and Radjedef had moved in instead. Quilibet had felt safe with him. She’d already known him, liked him, and looked up to him like a big brother. He’d promised he’d never leave her, that he’d see her become a knight, but now, two short years later, he was gone. Just thinking about it made tears well up again in her swollen, sore eyes. She made no move to wipe them away.
„Quil,“said Leona, coming in and sitting down on the side of the bed. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Quilibet’s shoulder, sending comfort through the Force.“Quil. Radjedef never intended to betray you. He always meant to keep his promise to you--he never once forgot it. Do you remember that time he got sick and refused to come to the infirmary because he didn’t want to leave you alone? And how Gethin--I mean Healer Territ moved in with the two of you, just to take care of him?“
„Go away!“Quilibet said again, a bit louder this time. She didn’t want to remember how she had never once doubted that Radjedef would get better again. It had been truly inconceivable that he might die--he’d promised, after all. She’d trusted him to keep that promise, and he had not disappointed her--that time.
„The Council wants to see you,“Leona said again, standing up and reaching for Quilibet’s robe. She held it out invitingly.
„Tell them to go away, too,“Quilibet grumbled, but obedience had been drilled into her all her life, and so she sat up. Her head ached dully, and so did her heart, but she got to her feet and slipped into the robe, then shuffled slowly out of the room behind Leona. On the way to the Council chambers, she kept her head down, staring only at the floor and refusing to acknowledge anybody that they passed in the corridors. She couldn’t look at other people. They were all happy. None of -them- had lost two masters.
She didn’t start to wonder why the Council wanted to see her until they actually arrived at the small round room, but then it was too late. The doors opened and Leona led her in, and then she was standing in the middle of the circle, facing Master Yoda, Master Windu, and Knight Ki-Adi-Mundi.
„Padawan Lyr, we offer our condolences yet again on the death of Master Radjedef,“Master Windu said.
„Thank you,“Quilibet murmured, not quite able to meet his eyes and settling for his left cheekbone instead. Being there reminded her of being at the funeral, and how she’d broken down and cried. No Jedi ever cried as they stood watching the pyre--she assumed it just wasn’t allowed. They stood there stony-faced, accepting the will of the Force. Any grief was expressed in private, but Quilibet had not only cried, she’d screamed at Master Radjedef, and then she’d started to sob, all right there in the courtyard where everybody could see and blame her.
„Forget him, we will not,“Master Yoda said.“In our hearts forever, he is.“
Quilibet glanced at him, seeing only compassion in his large eyes and the position of his long ears, and managed to speak the words of thanks yet again as she blinked to keep her latest batch of tears from showing.
„His death came as a shock,“Ki-Adi-Mundi said slowly.“It is difficult for all of us to accept the will of the Force in this matter.“
He included every other Councilmember with his emphasis of the word „all“, but it didn’t make Quilibet feel any better to know that they were all struggling with Radjedef’s death as well. It made her feel worse, as though everybody else knew it was a mistake, too, and yet nobody had the power to rectify it.
„Meditated long over your future, we have, hmm,“the diminutive Jedi Master continued solemnly.“New master, you need.“
Shocked into immobility, Quilibet just stared at him. A new master?
„Padawan Lyr, this is Master Romedon Tenax,“Master Windu announced.
Still too stunned to speak or even think coherantly, Quilibet turned slightly to see the woman who had been standing there, unnoticed, all the time. The only thing about her that registered at first glance was that Master Tenax was human, not Caamasi.
„Hello, Padawan Lyr,“she said in a very rich and melodic voice as she came forward a step.
Quilibet glared at her. She didn’t want a new master, she wanted her old one back. Radjedef. Or Nektanebos, or even both of them! Not this--this stranger. Quilibet knew many of the knights and masters in the Temple, at least by sight, but she was certain that she had never laid eyes on this one before. And she was human, too, she didn’t have soft, furry arms or ears on top of her head, or purplish stripes across her face. She could never hope to be able to replace the two Caamasi that Quilibet had loved, and Quilibet did not even want her to try.
„I didn’t know Master Radjedef, but I know how hard it is to lose someone whom you love,“Master Tenax said.
Turning abruptly away from her, Quilibet pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, and Healer Leona placed an arm around her shoulder, drawing her close in a comforting gesture.
„Time you both need, to adjust to each other,“Master Yoda said.“Discuss the formal Padawan ceremony later, we will.“
„May the Force be with you, all of you,“said Mace Windu, and with that, they were dismissed. Reluctantly pulling away from Leona’s embrace, Quil managed an obedient, but shaky half-bow before turning and practically racing out of the Council Chamber.
After Radjedef’s death, she hadn’t thought that things could get any worse.
Eight days before departure, morning.
„Padawan Lyr?“
The transition from sleep to wakefulness was too abrupt, too jarring, and when Quilibet opened her eyes, she had no idea where she was or what was happening. Stupidly, she blinked up at the mahogany-haired woman bending over her and blurted out,“Who are you?“
„I’m Romedon Tenax,“the woman smiled.
„Oh.“Sitting up, Quilibet frowned as she remembered how Leona had helped her pack her things last night and had given her one last hug before stepping back and surrendering her to that woman--her new master.
„Do you prefer to be called Quilibet or Quil?“
Quilibet shrugged, refusing to meet the woman’s eyes. Actually, Master Nektanebos had always called her Quil, and Master Radjedef had had several nicknames for her, including Quils, Quilly and sometimes even Quilibetty. But Master Tenax didn’t need to know that.
„I’m going to meditate in the living room this morning. Would you like to join me? I’d be glad to help you release some of your grief into the Force.“
Instinctively, Quilibet shook her head. Meditate? Why should she want to feel the Force at all, when it had obviously been the will of the Force that Master Rad was dead now? As soon as she’d formed the thought, though, she thrust it away, ashamed of being so petty. That wasn’t how either of her Caamasi masters had brought her up. No, she realised, she really did need to meditate. She just didn’t want to do it with that stranger.
Master Tenax nodded and patted her shoulder a few times, causing Quilibet to grit her teeth, then left the room. Relieved to be left alone, Quilibet leaned back against the wall at the head of her bed, unconsciously wrapping her Padawan braid around her hand and hugging it close to her chest. The simple task of standing up and getting dressed suddenly seemed too much for her, and it took several minutes before she felt capable of moving off the bed. Once she’d managed to listlessly pull her clothes on, she knelt down and shut her eyes, instantly feeling the temptation to simply drift off to sleep again, or at least into a daydreaming doze. It took an inordinate amount of time and a great effort for her to focus her thoughts enough to be able to reach out for the Force at all.
Her fragile concentration was interrupted at that crucial point by a soft knock on the door.“Quilibet?“
Go away, Quilibet wanted to scream, feeling a flash of anger, real anger, not just annoyance, at the intrusion.
„Breakfast is ready.“
Quilibet stood up grudgingly and walked into the living area, where Master Tenax was sitting at the table peeling a kalona fruit. There was another kalona fruit on the plate across from her. Quickly scanning the table for anything else that was edible and coming up empty, Quilibet regarded it with a sinking feeling of disbelief.
„Please sit down.“Why, why, -why- did that woman’s voice have to be so beautifully melodious?
Quilibet remained where she was.“May I eat at the cafeteria this morning, Master Tenax?“
„Why?“
„Because I really ha--don’t like kalona fruit,“Quilibet reported.
„Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea. I thought this would be a special treat for you--they’re not overripe, but they’re so juicy.“Catching Quilibet’s slight grimace of disgust, Master Tenax added,“Yes, all right, you may eat in the cafeteria. Please come back when you’re finished, though.“
„Thank you, Master Tenax,“Quilibet replied in a flat, automatic tone of voice, and turned towards the door.
I hate kalona fruit, she muttered to herself on the way to the cafeteria, feeling even more wounded than the day before. Did that woman really have to add insult to injury? I hate kalona fruit, I really hate it. If she were my master, my -real- master, she’d know that sort of thing. But she’s not, and I don’t want her to be, I want Master Rad back. Why did he have to die? Why did he have to die in such a stupid way? Pricking his finger on a thorn! He could have died with his boots on and a light saber in his hand, he could have had a glorious death in battle, but instead he was bested by a flower! A flower! What sort of death is that for a Jedi?
Her anger faded into sorrowful regret and the ache around her heart seemed to increase. She didn’t cry, though. Her eyes simply refused to produce tears, and somehow, that made her feel worse.
After walking through the buffet and arranging a small breakfast on her tray, Quilibet slunk to an empty table in the corner of the cafeteria, but any plans she might have had for eating in peace were shattered when a small group of Padawans suddenly stood up from another table and came over to hers. She glanced up in irritation, but then recognised that Dimallie Melbra was among then, and Zac V’Aladee. Dimallie was Leona’s padawan, an assistant healer who was an unfortunate magnet for mishaps. She had a good heart, though, and Quilibet had become friends with her over the last four years, ever since the first time she’d had to stay with Healer Leona. Zac was another friend.
Looking at them as they sat down, Quilibet found herself realising that Dimallie could very well fall down the next flight of stairs and break her neck, and Zac could also be killed on the next mission he went on. Everybody died eventually. Anybody could be next. She had to be prepared in case it happened again. But her musings were interrupted when Dimallie suddenly knocked over her glass of juice and some of it ran into Quillibet’s lap.
„Oh, I’m sorry, Quil!“Getting to her feet, Dimallie also managed to upend her tray, and it crashed to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Zac handed his serviette to Quil, who tried in vain to mop her tunic and trousers, and Dimallie knelt down to recapture her escaping food. It took a few minutes until everything was cleaned up again and Dimallie had got another tray, but at last the older Padawan had seated herself again.
„We heard you’ve got a new master already,“said Dimallie when everything had settled down.
Quilibet stared at her. For five minutes, she’d managed to completely forget that anything bad had ever happened to her. For five minutes, she hadn’t noticed that sharp ache around her heart, but now it all came rushing back, hurting even worse than she’d remembered.
„Yeah,“she said shortly. But everybody was looking at her expectantly, and after a moment, she asked,“Does anybody know her? Her name is Romedon Tenax.“
But everybody shook their heads in denial, and Zac asked,“What’s she like?“
Quilibet shrugged.“She likes kalona fruit. She tried to give me one for breakfast.“
„Hmm, I like kalona fruit,“said one of the other Padawans farther down the table.
„I don’t,“Quilibet stated flatly.
„Speaking of masters,“said Zac quickly, as though trying to change the subject,“I wrote a little poem for you. For the occasion and all.“
He stood up and began to recite:
I’m sorry your master is dead
I’ll miss his nice fuzzy head
He’s one with the Force
Like his favourite old horse
And the pyre’s turned all his bones red.
Quilibet had thought she could not cry anymore, but tears sprang suddenly to her eyes and overflowed onto her cheeks. Her appetite lost, she put her hands to her face and stood up, her only goal in life to get to the door and find a private place to howl aloud. As she stumbled towards the exit, she heard Zac behind her, saying, “Look, she’s crying because it’s so beautiful. Anybody want a copy?“
Six days before departure, morning
„We’ll do some light saber drills to-day when you’ve got back from Grief Counseling,“said Master Tenax at breakfast two days later. Her voice was as rich as ever, but held that „masterful“ undertone that meant ‘no discussion.’
„Yes, Master Tenax,“Quilibet replied dutifully, staring down at the helping of breakfast casserole on her plate.
„You’ll feel better after you’ve had some exercise. Trust me, Quilibet.“
„Yes, Master Tenax.“
„I know you don’t feel comfortable calling me just plain master yet, but you could call me Master Romy, if you liked.“
Unsure of whether the woman were giving her an order or not, Quilibet did not answer immediately.
„It’s just a suggestion, Quil. Take your time and think about it.“
„Yes, Master Tenax.“Taking up her knife and fork, Quilibet began to dissect her casserole before taking a cautious bite. It tasted good.
„I got the recipe from a friend of mine. She says it’s just the thing for growing Padawans,“Master Tenax remarked cheerfully.
„Yes, Master Tenax,“Quilibet replied again.
They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence. When she’d finished all that she wanted to eat, which wasn’t very much, Quilibet stood up and bowed without a word, then went out of the apartment. She was going to be early for her appointment with Soul Healer Del-Isa Sidatu, but it didn’t matter. She would rather sit in the waiting room and stare at the wall than remain with that woman. At least she’d be alone, and being alone was certainly preferable to being with someone who was covertly trying to take Master Rad’s place. It had only been two days, and she was already talking about light saber drills, which were traditionally done only between master and padawan. She’d started calling her Quil, too, not just Quilibet, instead of Padawan Lyr. And no doubt it was only a matter of time before she no longer suggested, but insisted that Quilibet call her Master Romy.
Grief Counseling always ended with a special meditation session in which the Soul Healer stood behind Quilibet, laid her hands on her shoulders and channeled the Force into her, helping her to feel comforted by it. It was the part that Quilibet always looked forward to the most, because it seemed that the Force expanded to fill her body and her mind, so much so that there was no room for any other emotion except tranquility and well-being. She remembered from her counseling sessions two years before that she had sometimes tried to search the Force, reaching out to see if she could feel Master Nektanebos’ distinct signature within it. She never had, but now she tried it again, concentrating on Master Rad, needing so much to be close to him again, desperately craving the comfort he’d always managed to give her before.
The session ended before she’d found any trace of him, of course, but the Camaasi master remained in Quilibet’s thoughts as she walked down the corridors, back to her apartment. She keyed in the code with automatic fingers and started to walk in, but bumped against the door instead. Frowning, completely aware of her surroundings again, Quilibet tried the code again, but the door remained firmly shut. She began to carefully and methodically enter each number, making doubly sure her fingers did not slip, when the door finally slid open.
But Quilibet’s path into the apartment was blocked by a Kel Dor, and she stared up at him stupidly as he asked through his breathing mask,“Can I help you, Padawan?“
„I--I live here--this is my--“she managed to stammer, and then realised she’d gone to her old apartment instead of to Master Tenax’s! Of all the stupid mistakes! She simply hadn’t been thinking! Until a few days ago, she hadn’t needed to think about such a thing. But it didn’t answer the question of what this unknown Jedi was doing here anyway.
The expression on his face did not change--not that she could see behind his dark goggles--as he regarded her for a long moment, and then he said,“I was assigned yesterday to these quarters. They were empty when I arrived and I was assured that the code had been changed.“
With horror, Quilibet looked from him to the name on the wall on one side of the door. It no longer said Master Radjedef, Padawan Quilibet Lyr. The number was the same, but underneath it was a new name, Master Dley Mesin.
„But--but--what happened to his things?“Quilibet asked, too astounded to think straight.“What did they do with Master Radjedef’s things?“
„Ah, so these were Master Radjedef’s quarters? I was sorry to hear of his death,“said Master Mesin.“Everything has been cleaned away, Padawan.“
„Nobody told me!“Quilibet blurted out.“They should have told me!“
„If they have not informed you, then no doubt the things have merely been moved to storage to be sorted out later,“the Kel Dor began to explain, but Quilibet was already bowing and moving down the corridor, tears blurring her vision. She made no move to wipe them away as they fell. She simply made her way to the nearest garden, found a quiet corner next to a tiny pool of water, and sobbed quietly for several minutes.
„You’re late,“said Master Tenax when Quilibet finally returned.“I was getting worried.“
„I apologise for my tardiness, Master Tenax,“Quilibet said softly, standing at attention just inside the door. Not wanting to share her feelings or explain what had happened, not willing to let the woman know anything about her life that was not strictly necessary, Quilibet did not volunteer an explanation. To her relief, Master Tenax did not push her.
„Come, let’s go down to the practise room,“was all she said.
After they had warmed up, Master Tenax took up the familiar beginning position for sparring and ignited her light saber.“A Jedi will not always have the luxury of fighting on days when he is at his best and everything is going right. Too often, there will be times when a Jedi is at a distinct disadvantage. He might be injured, sick, or even have just seen his best friend killed, and he must still fight. Jedi do not give up, no matter what the circumstances.“
She attacked, and Quilibet parried automatically. As they moved around the room, their light sabers connecting time and again, Quilibet knew in the back of her mind that what Master Tenax said was true. How often had Master Radjedef sensed exactly when she wasn’t feeling one hundred procent well, and had seemed to push her even harder at exactly those times? She remembered that there had always a point where she’d stopped worrying about herself, had completely forgotten her problems and surrendered herself to the Force to fight a good fight. Now, however, she couldn’t seem to find that point. She couldn’t seem to close her mind to the grief in her heart, and it made her slow and clumsy. Master Tenax’s turquoise blade sizzled against her time and again, leaving burns that smarted and distracted her even more.
They continued until Quilibet misjudged the landing of a particularly high jump and stumbled, then fell. There was an odd snapping sound in her foot as she went down and she had that distinct feeling that it was a bad injury, even before the initial numbness gave way to a wave of agonising pain. She only barely felt the way Master Tenax’s lightsaber singed her ear, only barely registered that the woman was speaking.
„A distracted Jedi is a dead Jedi, Padawan.“There was a pause, and then the woman asked,“Are you all right, Quilibet?“
She shook her head. Master Tenax knelt down at her side and placed both hands gently around her ankle, reaching out with the Force to determine the extent of the injury.
„It doesn’t look good,“she murmured.“I think something’s broken. Come, give me your arm. We’ll get you to the Healers.“
With the woman’s help, Quilibet managed to stand up and limp to the lift that would take them to the infirmary level. She felt awful, both physically and mentally. She’d been distracted, she hadn’t been able to find her center, if it had been a real fight, she’d be dead by now. She almost wished she were dead. She wasn’t good enough to be a Jedi anymore. She was going to fail.
It was Healer Leona on duty that day, which was a relief for Quilibet. She seemed to understand without words what had happened and why, and sent as much comfort through the Force as she could while dealing with the injury. When she’d finished healing what she could using only the Force, and had set a bone-knitter, she said,“You can stay here the rest of the day, until this is finished.“
Quilibet shrugged indifferently. She had no strong feelings either way about the infirmary, not like some people.
„And I have some good news for both of you,“the petite Healer went on.“Your names have been added to the list of Masters and Padawans going on this year’s retreat to the planet Tildas.“
Master Tenax looked positively thrilled at the news.“Is that your doing, Healer P’lila?“
„Oh, please, call me Healer Leona, everybody else does. Yes, I thought it would be a good idea, and the Council agreed. I was going to come over to-night and tell you, but you’ve saved me a trip.“
„Wonderful! Thank you so much! Oh, I’m looking forward to it already! I love being in the Temple, you know, but I hate being on Coruscant. There’s too much city, and too little nature. Tildas is exactly the opposite.“
„But I thought it was only for Master and Padawan pairs,“Quilibet said, confused.
„Yes, that’s right,“Healer Leona replied.
„Then I can’t go.“
They both looked at her in surprise and consternation.
„I don’t meet the criteria. I don’t have a master.“
There was a very long silence, and then Master Tenax said,“Quilibet, you do have a master. You have me.“
„You’re not my master! My master is dead! He’s dead, and they’ve taken his things away and put them into storage and they’ve given our quarters to somebody else, and nobody told me, and--and he’s dead!“Quilibet did not let herself cry in front of the others. Tears weren’t going to change anything, anyway. The facts remained, whether she cried or not.
„I’m not the Camaasi master that you knew and loved, Quilibet, that’s true, but the Council has asked me to be responsible for you until you reach Knighthood,“Master Tenax continued.“I’m here for you now.“
Quilibet lapsed into silence. There were too many wrong answers running through her head, too many feelings that she couldn’t put into words, and trying to speak would only make things worse. She settled for a non-committal shrug, and was surprised when Master Tenax came over and suddenly squeezed her shoulders.
„It’s all right, Quilibet. I know it’s hard. Maybe we can come to an arrangement after we’ve been to Tildas and got to know each other better, all right?“
Tightening her shields so that the woman could not feel her heart sinking at the prospect of the retreat, Quilibet shrugged again.
Hai Gan
Day two before departure, late afternoon:
Del-Isa finished her regular duties, tidied up the last of the datawork, and began to contemplate dinner for herself and her padawan. For a small child he had a big appetite, but only- she had already discovered- for certain foodstuffs. Anything obviously healthy tended to get left on the plate. She knew very well that in normal circumstances no child would deliberately go hungry. She was sure that if she persisted then Toms would eat what was put in front of him. It was a matter of remaining firm. Give in once, she knew, and he would only be more persistant in his disobedience next time. She had a considerable theoretical background in child psychology, as well as several years of practical experience. Only now was she experiencing first-hand what people meant when they said 'it's different when it's your own child'.
A movement in the doorway distracted her from her train of thought. The Soul Healer looked up to see Romedon Tenax standing quietly at the open door, gentle enquiry on her face.
"Are you busy?" Romy asked. "I can arrange an appointment if that would be more suitable."
Del-Isa sat up briskly and gave the woman a warm smile. "Please, come in. How may I help?"
Romy took a chair and sat down, her hands neatly clasped in her lap. She looked down at them for a moment, then up at the Soul Healer. "You know of the situation with Quilibet, of course."
Del-Isa nodded, leaning forward a little as she listened.
"I understand that she will need time to get over things, of course. She is obviously very upset, and at the moment she is quite unwilling to talk to me about it. She doesn't even accept me as her master." Romy gave a sad smile. "She is very polite about it, but she doesn't want me. She has even said so- she doesn't think of herself as having a master."
"Rejection is never easy, even when you can understand the reasons behind it," Del-Isa agreed. "If it had been anybody else in your position, Quilibet's response would probably have been the same." She gave Romy a sympathetic look, and saw that the Master had already reached the same conclusion. "What have you been doing about the situation so far?"
Romy looked down at her hands again. "Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing," she said softly. "When I made her breakfast as a treat, she preferred to eat in the refectory. I haven't pushed her, as you suggested that I gave her some space and let her come to me of her own accord. I've tried to be sympathetic, and to be there for her if she does need someone, but Leona and yourself seem to get a better response from her than I do."
"It does not mean that you will not be able to form a training bond, only that it will take time and sensitivity." The Soul Healer leaned forwards to place a reassuring hand on the Master's shoulder. "Your talents make you the ideal person to help Quilibet through her grief and set her back on the path to knighthood. You've already shown that."
"I have?" Romy sounded surprised.
Del-Isa nodded emphatically. "You are willing to persist. You have shown sympathy and understanding in a situation where another person might have given out punishment for insolence. You are not the sort of person to become impatient with irrational behaviour. When the Council asked me to suggest a suitable master for Quilibet, you were the first name I gave them," the Soul Healer said.
Romy sat a little straighter in her chair, and Del-Isa leaned back again. "You are doing the right thing, Romy. Give her space and give her time to come to terms with the situation, but do let her know you are there if she needs you. It wouldn't hurt to remind her that if she doesn't feel she can speak to you then there are others who are there for her. Don't let her shut herself away and suppress her feelings."
Romy rubbed her hands in slight nervousness. "I was wondering if there is anything she has told you that would allow me to find some common ground? If I can just get her talking /with/ me, instead of saying 'yes' and 'no' at the right moments and running away as soon as she gets the chance, it might help us to connect."
Del-Isa steepled her fingers beneath her chin, her face reflecting regret. "I'm afraid I can't tell you anything of Quilibet's consultations," she said. "I can quite understand your motives in asking, but it would be a breach of patient confidentiality. I'm sorry."
"It's only that we seem to have such different tastes," Romy admitted. "I'd love to be able to do or say something to make her smile, but I have no idea what she likes."
Del-Isa looked warmly at the other woman. "If good intentions and a good heart can help Quilibet, then she has the best person possible as a Master," she said. "One positive action I can suggest is that you sit down with her and make a list of both your expectations, likes, dislikes and the routine you are used to. Make it clear that she does have a say in what happens, but also make it clear that there will have to be compromises made."
"That sounds rather formal."
"You can't be expected to know these things instinctively. It happens that way in some master-padawan bonds, but those are a rare exception." Del-Isa gave a slightly lopsided smile, and shoved her fingers through her unruly hair. "Most people seem to just muddle along somehow. A formal list wouldn't be a bad idea at all."
"Well, I can give it a try." Romy rose to her feet, then hesitated.
Del-Isa sighed and relented slightly on her earlier refusal to give away any information. "I don't think I would be breaching any oath if I told you that it's Quilibet's birthday soon. She thought a lot of both her previous masters, too."
"Is that a clue?" Romy asked, with a smile that reached her eyes for the first time during the whole conversation.
Del-Isa smiled back. "You could say that. And you can talk to me any time you like."
"Thank you." Romy bowed and left.
Del-Isa was not far behind. Despite the sad situation she was helping Romy and Quilibet to deal with, the conversation had left her feeling perversely uplifted. She was glad that she /could/ help. She was also infinately glad that, even with all her minor worries, her relationship with her own padawan was exactly what both of them wanted.
Two days before departure, late afternoon
The fight hadn’t been planned. Quilibet had been trying to catch up on her studies in the library, and had come out at supper time out of sheer habit, not because she felt particularly hungry. Her concentration on her schoolwork had broken as soon as she’d come out into the corridor, and she’d started thinking about Master Tenax instead. She wasn’t aware of the two boys talking in the corridor, and the next thing she knew, she’d barrelled right into one of them.
„Hey, watch where you’re going!“came an indignant voice.
„I wouldn’t need to if you wouldn’t stand in the middle of the corridor!“Quilibet snapped back, letting some of the rage escape that she’d been keeping inside.
„So go around me!“the boy replied, surprised and angered at her violent outburst.
„Get out of the way!“Quilibet told him. She could see he was an adolescent, not long a Padawan to judge by the shortness of his braid.
„You get out of the way, you--you Force-farmer!“It was the worst insult in the Temple, and just happened to hit Quilibet particularly hard. She reached out and shoved the boy, placing her hands on his shoulders and propelling him backwards until his head hit the wall with an audible crack.
„Hey, stop that!“the other boy called out, sounding nervous and uncertain. The logical part of Quilibet’s mind told her that he was used to older Padawans setting a good example for the younger ones, and not bullying them. No doubt he was wondering whether to run and find a master to take care of her, but he was also concerned about his friend.
„Ow!“The boy shoved back, and Quilibet, letting even more rage escape, drove her fist into his face. They exchanged blows until the boy managed to break away and run down the corridor with his friend, leaving Quilibet leaning against the wall, gasping for breath, and with blood dripping from her nose. Her head ached and her body felt bruised, especially her hands, but for once, she didn’t mind the physical pain. It felt good in comparison to the pain around her heart. She almost wanted to go out and find somebody else to fight with.
As soon as she’d thought it, Quilibet stopped in terror. What was she doing? Was that how she was managing to cope with Master Rad’s death, by giving in to anger and hatred? As long as he and Master Nektanebos had been alive, they’d struggled to teach her exactly the opposite, and now she was betraying their memory. Feeling suddenly disgusted with herself and almost unworthy of being in the Temple, Quilibet turned and limped in the opposite direction, towards the lift that led up to the infirmary. She needed to see Healer Sidatu. She needed to hear that it was normal to feel anger after somebody had died, wanted to hear that she was not turning into a Sith, she found she was craving the woman’s special touch in helping her to release her feelings into the Force.
But as she approached the Soul Healer’s office, she saw the door open and Master Tenax come out. Master Tenax! She was the last person in the Temple that Quilibet wanted to see at that moment, and so she backpedalled quickly until she could hide around the corner she’d just passed, pulling her shields up as tightly as she could and projecting an image of nothingness. Master Tenax went by without even noticing her, but when Quilibet finally decided it was safe to move again, Master Del-Isa Sidatu’s office was empty. Defeated, Quilibet slumped against the door. The Soul Healer had probably gone home to her new Padawan, a boy she spoke fondly of and who obviously adored her. She didn’t think she could bear to burst in on their happiness.
Sadly, she made her way back to the lift and stopped it at a level where there was a small meditation garden that was not as popular as some of the others. Quilibet’s favourite spot was next to a large boulder, and she sat down and leaned her back against it. Her bruises ached, but she was suddenly too lethargic and depressed to put herself into a healing trance. Her nose had started bleeding again, but she didn’t try to stop it, simply wiped her upper lip on her sleeve a time or too and then let it run. She’d meant to meditate here, find her calm center again, but could not summon the energy to do anything of the sort.
After a while, she fell asleep.
Romedon Tenax wasn’t particularly worried when Quilibet did not come home before supper. The slender red-headed girl avoided the apartment as much as she possibly could, and had probably gone straight to the cafeteria after studying in the library. After starting the list that Del-Isa had suggested, the one with her expectations, her likes and dislikes, and the routine she was used to, determined to talk to Quilibet with it after supper, Romy got up and went to the cafeteria for her own meal. She’d written down cooking as one of her likes, but although Quilibet had not rejected the breakfast casserole, it was obvious that she didn’t want to be forced to sit and eat in the same room as Romy, and so Romy had reluctantly decided to hold off on Plan S (the way to a Padawan’s heart is through the Stomach) for a while. That meant cafeteria food.
But Quilibet did not return to the apartment after supper, either, as she usually had. Instead, Romy got a visit from a Chalaktan Master and his human padawan.
„My Padawan was attacked in the corridor and beaten,“the master said.“The Padawan who did that to him was a female human, about fourteen or fifteen years old, with red hair, and was not taller than he was. Healer Leona believes that it was Quilibet Lyr.“
Romy felt her heart sink.“It sounds like her, yes. And there is a distinct possibility that she was the perpetrator. You know that her second master died recently?“
The Chalaktan nodded.“I had heard. We still expect an apology from whomever it was.“
„She’s not here at the moment. As soon as she returns, I’ll see what she has to say, and bring her over myself if necessary.“
When the master and padawan had left, Romy stood up and contacted Healer Leona, but Quilibet had not been seen in the infirmary at all that day. Next, Romy called Del-Isa to report the incident.
„And the worst part of it is, she’s shielding against me so tightly that I have no idea where to look for her,“she said.“For all I know, she’s left the Temple completely. You probably have more of a bond with her than I do just at the moment. Could you help me find her?“
„I don’t think she’s left the Temple, but I’ll contact the main entrance, just to be sure,“Del-Isa murmured, closing her eyes briefly as she reached out with the Force.“And she is shielding against everybody, not just you. It’s hard to find a Jedi who doesn’t want to be found. We might just have to wait for her to come back of her own accord.“
„Del-Isa, tell me. Is it possible that she did this on purpose? To get out of going on the retreat with me?“
The Soul Healer frowned slightly.“It’s possible. It’s more likely that she was so overwhelmed by her own pain and anger that she simply lashed out at the first opportunity. Even Jedi masters have been known to do that on occasion.“
„She could lash out at me next,“Romy guessed, and Del-Isa nodded.“It won’t be personal, though it might seem that way at the time.“
„I’ll try to remember that. In the meantime...?“
„Let’s ask around and see if anybody’s seen her lately, then decide where to go from there.“
It was midnight, and Quilibet still hadn’t come back. Romy had called Leona and Del-Isa to her apartment for an emergency meditation session, and together, they reached out with the Force, trying to determine the location of the young Padawan, but at length, they had to give up without a clear result.
„She’s close. I can feel that much. If she has left the Temple, which I doubt, she’s not far away. But she’s shielding much too tightly,“Del-Isa said, shaking her head sadly as they opened their eyes and looked at each other.
Romy looked at Leona.“Does she have any other friends that you can think of? Is there anybody else we can ask?“
She’d spent most of the evening calling up various padawans and asking if they had seen Quilibet or knew where she might be, but the answers had been been a series of variations on the theme „I haven’t really spoken to her since before Master Radjedef died. I only ever saw her at mealtimes, but I didn’t see her to-night.“
„Dimallie said she thought Quilibet never really had a lot of friends, and we’ve asked everybody she could think of,“Leona replied, looking very worried.
„And you’d feel it if she had become one with the Force?“Romy made herself ask the question calmly.
„Yes, I’d feel it,“Leona said at the same time as Del-Isa. They would have smiled except for the seriousness of the situation.
„She’s definitely alive,“said Del-Isa.
Romy shut her eyes, calming herself through the Force, trying to accept the fact that there was nothing more she could do that night. Almost instantly, a picture came into her head, a vision of a red-headed Padawan in the midst of bushes and small trees, and a feeling of pain and loneliness and utter despair.
„She’s in a garden,“she said without thinking, and then the vision was gone.“Oh, that poor girl, she’s hurting so much and she doesn’t feel there’s anyone she can turn to.“
„Which garden?“Leona asked.
„I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.“Romy stood up, feeling suddenly invigorated enough to check every garden in the Temple by herself.
Quilibet had not slept well since Master Rad had breathed his last. She’d awakened several times every night from thinking she’d heard him coming into her room, or from dreams where he’d sat up, perfectly healed, just after they’d put him on the pyre. But here, in the meditation garden, next to the boulder she’d always preferred, not knowing that it was Force-sensitive, Quilibet had fallen into a deep, restorative slumber. She’d stretched out on the ground and made herself comfortable even in her sleep, and nothing disturbed her for several hours.
It was the rain that woke her at last. Quilibet had reflexively covered her face with one arm, but as the downpour continued, she slowly became aware of it, and eventually opened her eyes to find herself thoroughly soaked. It was also very dark in the garden, and she sat there for a moment to get her bearings, then stood up, reaching out with the Force to find her way. Realising it must be the middle of the night, Quilibet felt her heart sink. She’d never stayed away so long before! Master Radjedef, and Master Nektanebos before him, had always made sure she was tucked up in bed well before midnight.
They never would again. Now Quilibet had to go back and face Master Tenax, the stranger that the Council had foisted upon her, just as though it made no difference which Jedi took care of her, just as long as someone was there. As though Master Rad were replaceable! As though just anyone could take his place and continue her training without even a hiccup! As though the Council believed that she could go through it all again. At the thought, Quilibet’s concentration faltered, and she tripped over a tree root and landed face down in the mud. She lay there for a few seconds, wondering if she ever wanted to get up again, but it was too wet and uncomfortable to remain there for long. Staggering to her feet, she was suddenly blinded by a bright light, and automatically stepped backwards, putting up an arm to shield her eyes.
„Don’t run away, Quilibet,“said a gentle male voice.
„I’m not running away,“she replied, trying to squint beyond the light to see who it was. The voice was familiar. There, he’d lowered the lantern and she could make out his great height and his shoulder-length hair, which was rapidly getting wet.“I’m try--I’m finding the door, Master Jinn.“
Four years of gentle reproaches from both her masters, and she was still using that word! Quilibet felt ashamed that she had failed them in yet another way, and waited for Master Jinn to repeat the well-known phrase. To her great surprise, he did not, but said only,“It’s back this way. Come, walk with me.“
„Thank you, Master Jinn,“she replied. They walked quickly towards the exit and emerged into the corridor, which was only dimly lit. Once they were out of the wet, Quilibet watched as he flicked off the lantern, and expected him to reach for his comlink next. Instead, he said,“I used to come to this garden often as well, after I lost my second Padawan. There is a great boulder there, which has one side that is just perfect for leaning against.“
„Yes,“Quilibet murmured in amazed agreement, looking at him curiously. What had she ever heard of his second apprentice and whatever fate had befallen him? She couldn’t recall it just at the moment.
„It’s Force-sensitive as well.“
„I didn’t know that, Master Jinn,“Quilibet said. She should have guessed, though. Master Nektanebos had brought her here a few times for meditation, and after her death, Quilibet had found herself drawn to the boulder, fancying that she could feel a little of Master Nektanebos’s presence close by. She should have realised--but she’d never bothered to think about it. Another failure, another way she hadn’t embodied what she’d been taught. Maybe the Force was trying to tell her something by taking both her masters away, that she wasn’t fit to be a Jedi. She certainly hadn’t acted Jedi-like when she’d attacked that boy. Maybe there was too much anger in her, or something else that made her unsuitable.
„After I lost my Padawan, there were many times that I felt angry,“Master Jinn went on.“Angry at him for leaving me, angry at myself for not being a better master, angry at others...I came here often when I was angry, and yet I always felt better when I left.“
Quilibet stared at him in sheer astonishment.“You felt angry, Master Jinn? But--but you’re a master!“
„Masters are also beings who feel emotions, Quilibet. We feel sorrow and pain and grief, often more than a Padawan can feel or even imagine. And anger. There were times when I felt so much anger I was secretly afraid I was in danger of turning into a Sith.“
Quilibet continued to stare as Master Jinn voiced her own feelings perfectly and with complete honesty. She -knew- without a doubt that he was telling the truth, that he had experienced exactly what she was going through now. But then something occurred to her to underscore the fact there was a difference between this Jedi and her, and she immediately felt like a failure again.“Yes, but you never acted on that anger, did you, Master Jinn? You never--you never beat anybody up.“
„No,“he said. Quilibet sighed, thinking she’d already known the answer before he’d said it, but, again to her surprise, he did not stop there.“Mace defended himself too well after the first blow. Then Yoda got his stick back and whacked -me- on the leg with it.“
The image of huge Master Jinn being whacked in the leg by the diminutive green Master made a smile tug at Quilibet’s mouth. Her lips were too stiff from days of disuse, however, and the smile didn’t quite manage to break through. Master Jinn saw it anyway and put away the comlink she hadn’t noticed him speaking into, then reached out and placed his warm hand on her shoulder.“Quilibet, it’s all right. It’s not the lack of anger that makes us Jedi. It’s choosing to release it into the Force, to work through it so that we can find our calm centers again, instead of letting it grow inside us so that anger is all that we can feel.“
She didn’t know how to respond to that and so she simply murmured,“Yes, Master Jinn.“
After a moment in which she could feel the light side of the Force emanating strongly from him, he said,“I was going to tell you about how I was afraid to take Obi-Wan as my Padawan, but I think you’ve had enough wisdom for now.“
Because it was so quiet in the deserted corridors, they could both hear the sound of the lift doors opening even though the lift was around the corner, and a moment later, Master Tenax appeared, walking as fast as she could without running.“Quilibet! Thank the Force you’re all right. I was so worried!“
Quilibet did not even have time to wonder why the master was not demanding to know where she’d been before she was caught up in a hug. Squeezing her tightly for a moment, Master Tenax then let go and stroked her hair with one hand as she stepped back.“Before I knew where to look for you, I was afraid that you might have left the Temple--or worse!“
„I’m sorry, Master Tenax,“she said slowly, trying to suppress a shiver of cold.“I fell asleep in the garden. I only meant to stay a while and meditate, but I was so tired. I haven’t really slept well since Master Rad died. I have nightmares...I didn’t mean to worry you.“
„Oh, Quil, I’m just glad you’re not out on the lower levels of Coruscant somewhere, all alone with no place to go and no one to care about you.“Master Tenax gave her another quick hug.
Healer Leona came up from the lift just then and hugged Quilibet as well.“I’m so happy to see you’re all right. But you’re all wet! What happened? Did you fall into one of the ponds?“
„I fell asleep in the garden,“Quilibet explained again.“I didn’t know it was going to rain.“
„Quick,“said Master Tenax,“let’s get you home and into a hot bath. I’ll make some cocoa and you can drink it before you go to bed--back to bed, I mean. Qui-Gon, Leona, thank you both so much for helping to find her.“
They said good-bye and good night, and went off in their different directions. In the apartment, Master Tenax immediately began to run a steaming hot bath.“Get out of those wet clothes and get warmed up. I’ll make the cocoa in the meantime.“
She went out of the refresher before Quilibet could say anything, and the girl got undressed slowly, then slipped into the water. Her icy skin protested painfully at the sudden change in temperature and she had to grit her teeth until she’d become accustomed to the heat. There was plenty of time to sit and consider the fact that she’d just spoken nicely to the enemy and accepted comfort from her, not to mention the fact that she’d betrayed one of her weaknesses and given that woman a chance to get closer to her. How could she have been so stupid! What had she been thinking? Of course it was all right to talk to Master Jinn. She’d probably never get that close to him again. But Master Tenax was a completely different matter. She couldn’t allow it to happen again. She had to keep Master Tenax at a very definite distance, otherwise she’d start caring, and then she’d lose her too and --Quilibet stopped the thought before the end. No. She was not going to open her heart to anybody, ever again, and she was not going to care if the entire Temple dropped dead at her feet, and she certainly was not going to shed a tear if Master Tenax was the next body on the pyre.
Standing up abruptly, she dried herself off, pulled her bathrobe on, and marched to the bedroom to get dressed in her pyjamas. She was just climbing into bed when Master Tenax knocked at the door.“Didn’t you want your cocoa?“
„No, thank you, Master Tenax,“Quilibet said, turning demonstrably away. No, she was not going to go through this pain a third time. No, no, no.
„I’ll put it here in case you change your mind.“
Quilibet was silent, and Master Tenax placed the cup on the desk and went out. After a moment, she returned, however, and spread something soft and warm over Quilibet, a blanket that Quilibet had already started to miss during her time in Master Tenax’s apartment. It had been a present from Master Rad--they’d brought it back from their mission on Gabbarus. Woven in an intricate geometrical pattern and brightly coloured, it had caught her eye as they’d strolled across the marketplace, and she’d lingered to get a better look. Although they’d been in a bit of a hurry, Master Rad had stopped and bought it for her, just like that. She’d tried to protest, knowing that Jedi were not supposed to collect material things, but he’d told her it was not against the Code to have something that was both beautiful and practical at the same time, and Jedi were certainly allowed to have blankets on their beds. It hadn’t even been close to her birthday.
She’d put it in the box with her other things because it reminded her too much of the home she no longer had. Now the merest sight of it made her feel comforted somehow, as though she still had a link to Master Rad. How had Master Tenax known to offer her such solace? It wasn’t fair! She didn’t have to make it so hard for Quilibet to keep up her defences around her--she just didn’t have to make it so hard!
Quilibet hadn’t expected to be able to fall asleep again after such a long, peaceful rest in the gardens, but when she opened her eyes again, daylight was coming in through her window because the shade was still up. Feeling a bit weak, she got up and got dressed, then went out to the refresher. Master Tenax was in the kitchen when she came out.
„The first thing we have to do to-day is go and apologise to that boy,“she said.
„Yes, Master Tenax,“she said.
„You’re excused from classes to-day to prepare for the trip, but he’s not, so how about if we go now and get it over with before we lose the best opportunity?“
„Yes, Master Tenax,“Quilibet replied again. She realised she didn’t even know the boy’s name, but it really didn’t matter. They walked down and Master Tenax stepped back slightly so that Quilibet could press the buzzer. The boy himself opened.
„I’ve come to apologise,“Quilibet said softly. The boy’s master appeared behind him, and said,“Please come in.“
Quilibet followed them into the apartment, Master Tenax right behind her, then knelt down on one knee in front of the boy and looked up into his freckled face. There was no sign of any bruising or blood, so he must have been at the healers in the meantime. It was good that he was all right again. She felt vaguely relieved that she hadn’t caused more damage than that.
„I apologise for losing my temper and hitting you,“she said.“I, uh, apologise for not watching where I was going. I was unfocused.“
She paused. It was difficult to think of anything else to say.
„I was wrong to let my anger out on you, instead of releasing it to the Force,“she finally finished.
„Apology accepted,“the boy nodded, his voice cracking a bit on the ‘ac’.
„I believe you have something to say as well, Padawan,“the master suggested.
„What?“he asked innocently.
There was a significant silence and then the boy knelt down as well with a long-suffering look on his face and murmured,“I apologise for letting my temper get the best of me. I could have walked away, but I chose to stay and fight. I’m sorry if I hurt you.“
Surprised, Quilibet managed to reply,“A-Apology accepted.“
The Chalaktan master began to lecture them both about the dangers of anger, the fact that fist fights between Padawans were prohibited, and the proper way to treat others and oneself, but Quilibet hardly listened. She was starting to feel distinctly odd, but cheered herself somewhat with the idea that maybe she was coming down with pneumonia and wouldn’t be able to go on the trip to Tildas.
„And now if you’ll excuse us, my Padawan really should finish his breakfast before he has to go to class,“the master said.
„We wish you both a pleasant day,“said Master Tenax, placing her hand on Quilibet’s shoulder.
The intimate gesture irritated her and Quilibet stood up immediately. But her knees felt strangely weak and there was darkness around the edges of her vision along with a curious rushing sound in her ears. She stood for a single instant, and the serene face of the Chalaktan master was the last thing she saw as the darkness rushed in and surrounded her.
There was something on her head, and Quilibet reached up with one hand, opening her eyes and glancing dully around.
„Back among the living, are we?“boomed a vaguely familiar voice.
„Was I dead?“Quilibet asked, feeling suddenly cheated that she hadn’t remained in the Force long enough to see Master Rad or Master Nektanebos. The thought that she might have been so close made her lip suddenly start to tremble.
„Sorry, wrong choice of words. That comes from innoculating large groups of cowardly Padawans at the same time. I mean you’re awake again.“It was Master Healer An-Paj stroking her forehead and down her cheek, his antennae pointed directly at her face. His blue hand was warm against her skin and she could feel powerful waves of comfort and peace emanating from him that reduced her need to cry.“No, you weren’t anywhere near becoming one with the Force. You fainted and banged your head on the corner of a table.“
„Oh.“Strangely, Quilibet felt even more cheated.
„Do you remember where you were when it happened?“
„In, um, the quarters of that Padawan that I beat up yesterday, but I don’t know his name. His master was lecturing us about proper behaviour.“Quilibet glanced around again and saw Master Tenax on her other side, then looked away again quickly.
„Ah. Do you remember the last thing you had to eat?“
Quilibet thought for a moment, then admitted defeat.“No.“
„You probably haven’t been eating very much since Master Rad died, am I right?“
Glancing down at the covers, Quilibet murmured,“Yes, Master An-Paj.“
The Healer glanced over to Master Tenax.“Low blood sugar, like I said before. But look here, Quilibet.“
He reached into the drawer of the desk next to the examination bed where she was lying, and pulled out a package of double chocolate cookies.“I confiscated these from a patient recently. They should still be fresh, but even if they’re infested with weevils, the extra protein that they provide won’t hurt you a bit.“
An-Paj stopped and grinned so that she would be quite certain he was teasing her, then raised the head of the examination bed so that she was sitting up.“I want you to eat at least half of these. I’m going to send Dimallie down to get you a big glass of milk--no, wait, I’d better send Romy. Then I’ll know it will arrive in its entirety.“
Quilibet had to stop and think who he meant by Romy. She’d gotten used to thinking of that woman as Master Tenax--she’d forgotten that she had two names instead of only one. To hide her confusion, she glanced down at the open package of cookies. Two weeks ago, she would have been not only able but willing to eat the entire package, but now the thought of eating even one of them was sickening somehow.
„Are you sure it’s nothing serious?“Master Tenax asked.
„Absolutely. Her head’s only bruised, and the bacta will take care of that.“
„She’ll still be able to go on the retreat?“
„Definitely. Now go on and get the milk. I’m not letting her get up until she’s drunk it all, and eaten at least four of these cookies. Then she should have enough energy for you to take her home and give her a proper breakfast. Oh, and you can both stop and get your booster innoculations on the way out.“
Giving Quilibet’s hand a reassuring squeeze that made the girl want to pull away, Master Tenax went out of the room, obviously eager to be doing something helpful.
When she’d gone, Quilibet sighed, feeling defeated before she even began, but needing to hear the answer anyway.“Do I have to go?“
„There’s no reason why you shouldn’t. It would probably do you good.“
„Maybe I have a concussion,“Quilibet suggested.
„Sorry, no luck this time.“
„I think I might be coming down with pneumonia. I fell asleep in one of the meditation gardens last night and got rained on.“She coughed more out of desperation than hope, but An-Paj only shook his head in amusement.
„You don’t even have a cold,“he said.“There’s no medical reason why you shouldn’t go. You’re not even allergic to chocolate, so eat up.“
Quilibet reached dispiritedly into the package and brought out four cookies, then arranged them in a line down her right thigh. She had just barely finished doing that when there was a screech from outside the room that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up in horror.“What was that?“
An-Paj moved to the door and looked out.“Oh. Just Obi-Wan, getting his innoculation for the trip. He tenses up around us Healers. I can’t imagine why. He really ought to feel right at home here. Don’t hide the cookies, Quil, eat them.“
Chagrined, Quilibet hastily retrieved her hand from where she’d been about to deposit two of the cookies back into the invitingly open drawer, and grimaced.
„Hope for food poisoning if you have to, but eat one,“he said.
She nibbled obediently on one, feeling even more depressed, and An-Paj sat down in the chair by the side of the bed.“Quilibet, as a man with six wives, let me tell you a little something about love. It multiplies if you let it.“
Quilibet looked at the blue-skinned healer, not certain what he meant, and he went on.“My six wives are all different, and I love them all in different ways, but my love for Number Six is not less than my love for Number One. You had a rough time after Master Nektanebos died, and yet you bonded with Master Radjedef. I know you learned to love him deeply in the last two years--I can feel your grief for him even without the Force. That’s how I know that you can learn to love Master Tenax, too, if you’ll just let yourself. Just open up and start trusting her, form a bond with her, even if it’s thin and weak at the beginning. The rest will come automatically.“
Quilibet turned away, hoping he hadn’t heard the thought that had sprung spontaneously to her mind.
//That’s what I’m afraid of and then I’ll get hurt again...//
All the way back to the apartment, Quilibet kept wondering how Master Tenax was going to punish her for fighting. Surely the apology was only the beginning. She wondered briefly and with something approaching hope if the mahogany-haired woman was going to insist that they stay home from the trip to Tildas so that Quilibet could do the manual labour usually required of penitent Padawans; ironing bedsheets in the laundry by hand with a picky housecleaning droid looking over her shoulder, peeling Wookiee-high piles of tubers in the kitchen, scrubbing cafeteria floors with a brush slightly larger than the one used to clean her teeth, or even being forced to glean the tiny Connect-Us blocks from the equally tiny Snap-Us elements in the creche every evening after the children had spent the entire day getting them mixed up. Quilibet hadn’t been in trouble very often, but she knew both from personal experience and from her friends that masters liked to choose fiendish little tasks like that.
„Sit here at the table, Quilibet,“said Master Tenax as they came into the apartment, and Quilibet sat down stiffly, expecting the worst.
„While I’m making you a proper breakfast --“Master Tenax said, handing over a data pad and pointedly not glaring at Quilibet, who had eaten not only the required four cookies, but four more as well--“you can have a look at this.“
She began to get things out of the fridge, and Quilibet looked at the words on the screen. It seemed to be a list of likes (which included kalona fruit) and dislikes (which included silverfish), and then a schedule of sorts.“What is this, Master Tenax?“
Master Tenax placed a pan on the stove, then cracked some eggs and whirled them in a bowl.“Del-Isa--I mean, Soul Healer Sidatu suggested that we both make a list of our likes and dislikes, our routines, and our expectations for our partnership. I already wrote my things last night, and you can fill in your part to-day.“
Quilibet sighed. So they were still going. Well, she should have guessed. They’d just had their booster shots a few minutes ago and surely Master Tenax would have said something before then if she’d been planning on keeping Quilibet in the Temple. She’d have to grit her teeth and bear it--but what about her punishment? Maybe Master Tenax was planning something for Tildas.
„Do you know why I don’t like silverfish?“Master Tenax asked, pouring the eggs into the hot pan.
„No, Master Tenax.“
„Once, I was on a mission to Pira’a. I woke up one morning and my mouth tasted a bit funny, so I started to brush my teeth, and then I felt something odd on the side of one of my molars in the back. I rinsed, and spit out a nicely dead silverfish into the sink. Yuck! I have no idea how it got in there, whether it crawled in while I was asleep, or whether it was lurking on my toothbrush and I just didn’t see it before I covered it up with toothpaste and began to scrub. Ever since then, I get the willies whenever I see a silverfish.“
Quilibet grimaced in sympathetic disgust and Master Tenax asked,“What else do you dislike, Quil, besides kalona fruit?“
„Oh, I don’t know, Master Tenax,“Quilibet hedged.
„Well, write it down, whatever it is, and enter in the routine that you’re used to from Master Radjedef, too. Then we’ll talk about it, and see where we can compromise.“Master Tenax sliced bread from the loaf.
„Yes, Master Tenax.“Quilibet scrolled down the page to see what else there was, and under the heading „Expectations“ there was a single sentence which made Quilibet frown in instant refusal. „I would like to bond with my new Padawan.“
Well, she didn’t want to bond with her new master. No. Not yet. Not ever. She knew it was expected, she knew that every other Master-Padawan team had a bond, she knew that Jedi worked together best when there was such a thing between them, but she wasn’t willing to let go of herself a third time and risk that pain again. Never. Before she could stop herself, she began to write „I don’t want to bond with you EVER!“ on the data pad, and for good measure, she also scrolled up to „Dislikes“ and added „Master Romedon Tenax.“
Then she pushed the data pad away from her across the table so that it fell off on the other side. Master Tenax, who was just straightening up from the fridge, stuck out one hand and the pad flew into it just before it would have hit the floor.“Finished already?“
„Yes--no, Master Tenax,“she mumbled, feeling suddenly ashamed of her outburst. She put out her hand for the pad, meaning to change it, but Master Tenax was already reading what she’d written. Quilibet watched with growing horror as her face smoothed out into a stoic expression and she laid the pad back on the table without a word, then turned back to the eggs and gave them an energetic stir. After a moment, she got two plates from the cabinet and divided the eggs equally between them, added the bread, then placed one of the plates in front of Quilibet and took the other for herself. She had to push the data pad out of the way because Quilibet had not dared to pick it up again. The damage was done. She had to take the consequences. Maybe Master Tenax would want to send her away to the Agri-Corps now and she’d have to become a Force-farmer, just like the boy had called her yesterday. It was an awful prospect, she suddenly realised, even worse than having to bond with a stranger, because it would be proof that she was a failure, and that her masters had died because it wasn’t the will of the Force that she remain a Jedi on the way to knighthood. She didn’t know if she could bear to be stripped of everything she’d ever known like that, and yet she also didn’t think she could stand to open up to Master Tenax, either. There seemed to be nothing but the prospect of more pain, no matter which way she turned!
„I--I’m sorry, Master Tenax,“she managed to murmur, sounding as miserable as she felt.
„I understand your feelings, Quilibet, and I won’t punish you for telling the truth,“Master Tenax said, reaching for the butter and positioning it in the middle of the table.
„Are--are you going to punish me for fighting yesterday?“Quilibet asked, unable to stand the suspense any longer.
„Do you think I should?“
Slowly, Quilibet nodded.
„What do you think I should do?“
„I--I don’t know.“She just couldn’t bring herself to suggest anything. She felt so awful she couldn’t think properly.
„Well, I have an idea. It may seem excessively cruel to you, but I think you’ll benefit more from it than from two weeks of scrubbing floors.“
Quilibet felt sick as she waited to hear that she was headed for a life of servitude bringing plant life to one barren planet after another.
„I was going to wait until you came of your own free will, but it would be detrimental to both of us to wait that long. I would like you to meditate with me to-day and let me help you release some of your pain into the Force.“
„You--you’re not going to send me away?“Quilibet asked in confusion. She didn’t know whether to feel relieved or not, knowing she would have to open her shields at least somewhat during the meditation.
„Send you away?“Master Tenax sounded as shocked as though Quilibet had asked her for permission to marry a Hutt.“No, by the Force, I am not going to send away a promising Padawan like you. I’ve accepted the challenge and I’m going to see you become a knight or die trying. Well, that’s probably the wrong thing to say right now, but that’s how I feel. Now eat your eggs before they get cold.“
After lunch, they knelt down across from each other. Quilibet’s emotions were so jumbled together that she didn’t think she could meditate at all. She felt chagrin and sadness for having hurt Master Tenax’s feelings earlier--no, she did not feel sad. She refused to feel feel sad. That woman had been asking for it, wanting to bond with her just like that. And yet she couldn’t forget the impassive look that Master Tenax had forced onto her face and the sound of her voice as she’d assured Quilibet she wouldn’t punish her for telling the truth. Quilibet wasn’t even sure anymore if it had ever been the truth. Did she really dislike Master Tenax? Or did she just dislike the facts that had brought them together?
It was dangerous to think things like that. She couldn’t afford to like Master Tenax. One hint of weakness from Quilibet, and the Force would scoop up her third master just as unexpectedly as it had the other two, and she’d be devastated. Again. If she could just keep her feelings neutral, they’d both be safe. What was she thinking? They’d both be safe? She shouldn’t think that. Stray thoughts like that were the first step in the wrong direction. No. No. Clenching her hands, Quilibet grit her teeth as well. She wasn’t allowed to hate Master Tenax. That was going too far in yet another wrong direction. She had to remain neutral here, not caring one way or another. And then, if it did happen again, if Master Tenax died, it wouldn’t hurt her. She wouldn’t let it hurt her.
Eventually, however, she did manage to relax and calm down enough to feel the Force. She could feel Master Tenax’s presence there, but it seemed far enough away not to be a threat. That was good. If she would just stay there, everything would be fine. Slowly, Quilibet began to release some her anger and pain, the same way she did it with Soul Healer Sidatu, except the effect was not so powerful. After a while, however, she felt Master Tenax moving closer to her through the Force. The feeling of being threatened and the threat of her fragile determination being instantly and permanently overwhelmed both seemed to be violently strong, and she began to tremble as she tightened her shields and opened her eyes.
„No!“she heard herself call out. To her disgust, she was also starting to cry, but she swallowed the tears back and said, more calmly,“I can’t do this.“
„Yes, you can, you were so close, Quil.“Master Tenax scooted forwards and laid one hand on her shoulder.“Come, let’s try it again.“
„I can’t,“Quilibet repeated but her statement turned into a sob and she hid her face in her hands as the tears flowed suddenly.“Please don’t make me. I just can’t!“
Master Tenax gathered her into her arms and held her for a moment.“You were so close. What happened?“
„You were--you were--“
„I was trying to help you release your feelings into the Force, Quil, that’s all. What did you think I was going to do?“
Quilibet was crying too hard to answer, and after a moment, Master Tenax guessed,“You thought I was going to force a bond with you?“
Chagrined, Quilibet nodded against the woman’s chest, and the master sighed.“Oh, Quil. Quilibet. I wouldn’t. I would never force anything like that on you.“
She waited until Quilibet had calmed down some, then released her and said,“Shall we try it again later?“
Quilibet hesitated.
„No bonding. Just meditation. You have my word as a master.“
Slightly reassured, Quilibet nodded.“All right. Later.“
Departure Day, morning
It was that dream again, the dream where they laid Master Radjedef on the funeral pyre and lit it, and he sat up, perfectly healed. This time, he scrambled off and took Master Nektanebos’ arm, walking her away from the flames as he announced,“I think I singed my fur a little, master.“
„You know you don’t have to call me master anymore,“Nektanebos told him with a little laugh.
„Master Rad, Master Rad!“Quilibet screamed, running forward from the other side of the pyre, but it was as though they could not hear her because they vanished into a door of the Temple in a burst of golden light without a backwards look.
„No! Don’t leave me behind!“She fell onto her knees in despair, beating the stones of the courtyard with her fists until she became aware of someone approaching from one side, holding out a hand.“Come, Quilibet, I’ll help you follow them.“
Gratefully, she grabbed the hand and pulled herself up, and only then did she see that the hand belonged to Master Romedon Tenax. She dropped it immediately in disgust.
„I’ll help you follow them,“the woman said again, but Quilibet turned away and started to run. Where the pyre had been, there was now a hole, too large to escape, which seemed to pull her in. She fell until she felt herself „land“ on her bed and awoke with a start, her heart racing in her chest. It took several moments for her to calm down and convince herself it had only been a dream, and then she sat up, feeling sad instead of frightened.
„He didn’t even look back,“she murmured to herself as she got dressed. She didn’t want to remember the part where Master Tenax had offered to help her follow them.“Neither of them looked back.“
„Well, good morning, Quilibet,“said Master Tenax when Quilibet had emerged from the refresher, clean and dressed and ready (if unwilling) to start the day.“And happy birthday, my Padawan.“
Quilibet stared at her in surprise for a moment. She was sixteen to-day. She’d completely forgotten! And if it was her birthday to-day, that meant they were leaving for Tildas this morning. Oh, joy, now she was going to be stuck for the better part of a week on a small ship with lots of disgustingly cheerful padawans and masters. Zac might even feel obliged to write another poem. Suddenly, the hole from her dream seemed like a pleasant alternative, and Quilibet had to force herself to be polite as she answered,“Th-Thank you, Master Tenax.“
„You can open your present before or after breakfast, whichever you like.“Master Tenax indicated the small, brightly-wrapped box on the table, but her tone of voice indicated she was hoping Quilibet would choose „before“. Well, she might as well get it over with. Then maybe Master Tenax would let her sneak away to the cafeteria and mope in peace for a while before they had to leave--no, she was already opening up the oven and taking out a small baking pan which steamed invitingly. That casserole again. The delicious odour wafted over, making Quilibet’s mouth water, but she did not want Master Tenax to believe that the way to -her- heart was through her stomach.
Sliding dispiritedly into her seat, Quilibet reached for the package and slid a knife under the tape that held the wrapping together. It came off to reveal a furry box, the kind that jewelry came in, and she opened the hinged lid, then gasped in wonder.“Oh!“
It was the largest, bluest jewel she had ever seen, set in a golden necklace. Hesitantly, she reached out, and felt a surprising warmth beneath her fingertip. The stone was not only beautiful, but it was also Force-sensitive. And it made her feel, for one magic minute, like a graceful young lady, and not just an adolescent girl. She could imagine herself, dressed up like a princess, wearing the jewel, and dancing with one prince and nobleman after another--all in the name of Jedi duty, of course.
„It’s lovely,“she finally breathed.
„You’re a lovely young woman,“Master Tenax smiled.“Put it on, let’s see what it looks like. It should go well with your colouring.“
Quilibet lifted it up carefully and placed it around her neck, fumbling with the catch and finally just holding it in place as she looked over to see Master Tenax beaming in approval.
„Just as I thought,“she said.“Go look at yourself in the mirror.“
Quilibet went into the refresher and discovered that Master Tenax was right. It looked as though it had been made especially for her. Holding it around her neck with one hand, she toyed with her braid with the other, wondering what she’d look like with long hair. Well, there were many years before she’d be allowed to grow it out. In the meantime, she’d have to figure out how the clasp worked before she wore the necklace the first time, or ask Master Tenax. No, she couldn’t do that. She didn’t want the woman to get too close to her. She couldn’t take the chance. Wondering if she should refuse the necklace entirely, Quilibet sighed miserably. It really was beautiful, and she liked the way it made her feel, but what if Master Tenax was trying to bribe her into friendship?
Marching determinedly out to the kitchen again before she could change her mind, Quilibet placed the necklace back in the box and closed it, then pushed it over to Master Tenax’ side of the table.“Thank you, but--“
She stopped, searching for the right words that wouldn’t make Master Tenax’s face become impassive again, then wondered why she was bothering. She didn’t like Master Tenax after all, so why should she care if the woman got her feelings hurt? No. She didn’t care. She wouldn’t care.
„Do you want me to keep it for you until after we get back from Tildas?“Master Tenax asked quickly, seeing her hesitate.
Dropping her eyes slightly, Quilibet nodded. It wasn’t a lie, she told herself, trying not to listen as one part of her mind cursed her own cowardice. A lot of time could go by after they got back from Tildas, and they could always talk about it again then, if they needed to.
„I’ll put it somewhere safe.“As she got up from the table and went into the bedroom, Quilibet hurriedly took a serving of the breakfast casserole and began to eat, anxious to get away before anything else happened to soften her heart towards Master Tenax.
The Chancellor’s ship was very luxurious, but Quilibet hardly noticed. The other padawans were either excited about or complaining about their roommates, but she didn’t care. She’d expected to be stuck with Master Tenax, and that was exactly how it had turned out. Upon entering their cabin, her eyes fell upon their luggage, placed side by side on the rack just inside the door. She didn’t remember that hers had looked so bulgy.
„I’ve just got to get something out,“said Master Tenax, heaving her bag up onto the nearest bed and opening it. She looked surprised as well, then checked the luggage tag.“There must be a prankster on board. This is my label, but these aren’t any good to me right now.“
She held up a pair of men’s briefs, once white, but now slightly grey.“You know, the women on the planet Hisrel used to sit on a pile of rags for a few days each month. I suppose that’s where the phrase „period furniture“ came from, but I’d really prefer a tampon. You wouldn’t happen to have any, would you, Quil?“
„Um...“Quilibet had never felt anything but embarrassment when talking about women’s subjects, especially because Master Nektanebos had simply taken a drug a few times a year to prevent herself from going into heat, and had therefore asked Healer Leona to explain the facts of human life to Quilibet. Master Radjedef had never mentioned anything of the sort, although once she had caught him flaring his nostrils as a strange Camaasi female had walked by. If she recalled correctly, he’d suddenly ordered a work-out in the gym that had left them both shaking with exhaustion afterwards. Now, unsure of how to respond, she said only,“I don’t think this is mine.“
She opened up the remaining bag and sorted through it in growing dismay. Tunics, underwear, definitely male--and then her fingers hit something hard and cold. Silently, she lifted away the pile of clothing and stared down at a large, flat bottle filled with a golden brown fluid.
„Who would need to hide alcohol in their luggage?“Master Tenax asked, looking at it in wonder as well.“Whose bag is this, anyway?“
Quilibet searched farther on her side and finally came up with a data pad. She hit the registration button and stared in shock at the name there, then finally found her voice again and said,“Kryztan Harkley.“
Master Tenax reached over, took the data pad from her hands, and placed it back in the bag, then picked up the pile of folded tunics and put them back where they belonged.“I’ll take this back to--its rightful owner.“
Having heard of Kryztan’s reputation, Quilibet felt glad that Master Tenax was there to keep her safe and not allow her to get within a lightsaber’s length of him--but only for a moment. If it weren’t for Master Tenax, she reminded herself, she wouldn’t have been coming on this trip at all.
„What about this one?“she asked, trying to distract herself from a wave of sudden sadness.
They searched through the bag, but found nothing that would allow them to identify it. Master Tenax frowned.“I suppose the only thing we can do is put it in one of the lounges, arrange a few of the more, ah, unique pieces for display, and hope somebody recognises them. You can do that while I’m hunting Harkley down.“
Quilibet nodded, picked up the bag, and followed Master Tenax out of the cabin. In the nearest lounge, she opened the bag again and began to select a few specimens for display on the back of a sofa.
Master Jinn came into the lounge, saw her, and stopped for a second look. Quilibet felt herself blushing as his gaze took in what she’d just laid out.
„Master Biwo’s underwear would look much better on a flagpole. What a pity we haven’t got any on board,“he said in complete seriousness and then walked on.
Quilibet sat in a corner of one of the lounges, not really caring or even noticing if anybody else was there or not as she stared at the spot where the plush carpet met a table leg, just thinking about things. She didn’t feel like she belonged here on board the Kaligari in the first place, and certainly not with all the older Padawans and their masters. Well, they weren’t all older than she was. Toms was definitely younger, and she thought she’d spotted another boy about his age around somewhere as well. But thinking about the two adolescents only made her feel more isolated. She didn’t belong to any of the groups on board, no matter what their ages or their status, whether Master or Padawan or even crewmember. She felt left out, completely superfluous, and unwanted as well.
She sighed, feeling the familiar clinch in her heart as she wished fervently that Master Rad was there. She’d always felt like she belonged somewhere when he was with her. At his side, she’d had a firm, unshakeable place in the universe. That deep sense of belonging had been something that Master Rad had been careful to cultivate even before he’d pronounced her his Padawan in front of the Council. They’d often had bonding sessions, more frequently and delving more deeply into the Force than other Master-Padawan pairings, and birthdays had been something special. When she had turned fourteen, Master Rad had encouraged her to do the Padawan birthday ritual again, but together with him. Together, they had remembered Master Nektanebos, each sharing memories with the other, reflecting on them. They’d released any lingering pain over her passing to the Force, and had then gone over into meditation and a very strong bonding session. Not for the first time, Master Rad had promised that he would never leave Quilibet.
She’d felt so secure in his love and so deeply connected to him at the end of that day that she’d asked if they could do the combination of rituals again for every birthday. Master Rad had smiled and said yes, and her fifteenth birthday had passed in a similar fashion. She’d been looking forward to it again, but now her sixteenth birthday had come, and Master Rad was gone, and Quilibet refused to even think of a bonding session with Master Tenax. She wasn’t going to get that close to anybody again. Not ever. Not when it meant that a presence would be ripped out of her life, forever and without warning, leaving nothing but a sharply throbbing ache behind. No, if Master Tenax had any thoughts about guiding Quilibet to knighthood, the sooner she realised that she would have to do it without a bond, the better.
„Padawan!“somebody called out. Caught up in her thoughts, Quilibet hardly registered the sound, mentally classifying it only as background noise and therefore something to be ignored.
„Padawan!“came the call again, slightly louder, and then,“Quilibet?“
Surprised and annoyed at being interrupted, she glanced up into the face of Master Tenax.
„Come with me, please, Quilibet,“she said, the worry in her face giving way to a quick smile.
What did she want? Probably light saber practise in the hold, or maybe even a meditation session. Dreading both, but knowing her duty, Quilibet stood up obediently and mumbled,“Yes, Master Tenax.“
They walked to the largest lounge on board the ship. If she’d been thinking, Quilibet would have wondered why, but she had kept her head down in a half-sulk the entire way and had simply followed Master Tenax, hardly noticing where they were going, not even when the woman pressed the button to open the door and motioned her to lead the way inside.
„Happy Birthday!“everyone shouted at once, and Quilibet took an instinctive step backwards. There were people in the lounge--a lot of them. In fact, almost everybody from their group was there. There were so many people there that she couldn’t tell if anybody was missing, and they were all smiling. Dazed, she looked around. There were decorations hanging from the walls and ceiling, a table with drinks and plates of party food, and there was a cake. It had been decorated with more enthusiasm than expertise, and was slightly squashed on one side, but it was still recognisable.
„Do you like the cake?“Toms asked eagerly, popping up at her side.“We made it especially for you.“
„You made it?“Quilibet asked as she turned her head slowly to look at him and realised that the cake had been in the box that he thought he’d left behind as they’d boarded the shuttle. She remembered how upset he’d been. They hardly knew each other, he was several years younger than she was--and a boy--and yet he’d been devastated at the thought that her cake might have been left behind. For some reason, that made her feel guilty. She recognised his kindness and his spontaneous generosity and she felt bad that she simply could not appreciate it. She knew it hadn’t been his idea, of course. No doubt Master Sidatu had thought it would be something to cheer her up. Well, better her than Master Tenax. She just wished it had come on a different day, at a time when she would be able to feel something else besides the pain of loss.
„It looks delicious,“she finally said, trying to sound more enthusiastic than she felt. Somehow, she just couldn’t bring herself to disappoint Toms by saying anything else. It would be as cruel as hitting a defenseless animal, leaving it hurt with no understanding of why, and Master Rad had not brought her up to be cruel. Toms beamed happily, and she added,“I like cake. Thank you.“
„Come over here, Quilibet, and we’ll sing to you. Then you can cut it,“said Master Sidatu, showing her a large knife at the side of the platter.
Quilibet came around the table and assumed the official Jedi pose without thinking about it, her feet directly under her shoulders and her hands clasped in front of her, the right one over the left, tapping lightly into the Force to get her through this ordeal. As everybody in the room launched into a rendition of “Happy Birthday to You,“ she glanced at them all in turn and found herself wondering who would be the next one to die and be laid on the pyre. Hopefully not Toms. But it was always the ones who should have lived forever. Becoming conscious of what she was doing, she forced herself to stop and look down at the cake, substituting visions of sugar for visions of suffering. It took a moment for her to realise that they had stopped singing and were starting to crowd around.
„Can I have an extra big piece?“asked Obi-Wan, extending the first plate. There was a hiss of “Termite!“ from behind him and Master Jinn said,“You will take the same as everybody else, Padawan.“
Quilibet cut the cake into many equal sized pieces and plopped them onto the plates as they appeared in front of her. Everybody who went by congratulated her again, and she murmured automatic thanks until Master Berlingside appeared.
„Sweet sixteen and never been kissed?“he asked, his eyes twinkling mischievously at her as he took the offered plate.“I can remedy that!“
Quilibet gripped the handle of the knife harder and stepped back instinctively into a defensive position, not wanting some old master to slobber all over her, but his next words surprised her.“Plenty of young men in this room--here! Jay, give the girl a birthday kiss.“
Thank the Force that Tanni Welasa had not been next in line--or Kryztan Harkley.
Jay stepped up and leaned forward, giving the knife in Quilibet’s hands a suspicious glance, and then said,“If you give me a smile, Quil, I -won’t- kiss you.“
She did smile, mostly from relief, but it faded quickly. The muscles around her mouth ached from the unfamiliar strain. She hadn’t really smiled in a long time and didn’t plan on doing so again in the near future. It just seemed too unnatural now.
The last person in line was Zac, and as he took the plate from her hand, he said,“You’ve got that dentist look again, Quil.“
„Eh?“Quilibet asked.
„Down in the mouth,“he said. At her blank expression, he explained,“You know, dentists always look down in the mouth.“
He grinned widely at his own pun, ignoring her pained grimace, then raised his voice and addressed the room at large.“Hey, everybody, listen up! I wrote a birthday poem just for my little friend Quilibet. I’m going to recite it now, okay?
Eopies are white
And banthas are brown
Your sixteenth birthday
Should be on the town
Go out and have fun
Get rip-roaring drunk
Sneak back to your quarters
Pass out with a thunk
Your master will clean
your vomit away
Why else do we have
a master anyway?“
Zac stopped speaking and waited expectantly for applause, and was met with a chorus of groans, especially from everybody who was not a Padawan. He glanced sideways to his master, lifting his eyebrows, but she only scowled disapprovingly at him. Quilibet scowled, too, both at the bad poetry and the awkward last line, and at the very idea that she should drink something that would make her throw up later. Didn’t she feel bad enough already? Sliding the last piece of cake onto the last plate, Quilibet sank her fork into it and placed the chunk in her mouth. It tasted a lot better than it had looked.
Toms appeared in front of her, holding a plate that showed little evidence of the cake that had already been there, and looked mournfully at the empty platter.“Is it gone already?“
„Yes,“Quilibet sighed. If only the party were over, too. She glanced down the long table. Everybody had split up into little groups and pockets of conversation. Master Tenax was talking to Master Sidatu, but stopped long enough to give her a quick smile. Quilibet’s gut reaction was to frown and look back to Toms in time to discover that even he had a companion. Olrin had come up behind him and was now waiting politely for his friend. Quilibet was reminded quite powerfully that she wasn’t included in any of those little groups, that there was no one to stand at her side and make her feel as though she belonged. She was well and truly isolated. To distract herself from that keen pain, she put a bite of cake into her mouth.
Toms’ face brightened up again as soon as he realised she was actually eating his creation.“Well? Whaddaya think?“
„Wonderful,“she said honestly, although her next words were far from the truth.“And thank you for the party and everything. I really appreciate it.“
He went away happy, and Quilibet put another piece of cake in her mouth. That sort of thing wasn’t lying. It was tact, diplomacy, and keeping the peace, which was what being a Jedi was all about. Master Rad had taught her that. It was fitting that she should remember it now that he was gone. She just wished she didn’t have to use his wisdom in this particular situation.
It was very early in the morning when Quilibet woke up for no apparant reason. She turned over, and then over again, but couldn’t get back to sleep, and finally sighed in defeat. Turning on the lights just enough to help her find clean clothes, she doused them again and slipped into the refresher. Master Tenax was still breathing deeply and regularly when she emerged again, dressed and ready for the day, and Quilibet listened for a moment, then went out.
The dining room was the most logical place to go, but Quilibet was surprised to find it open so early in the morning. A crewmember dressed in white was shaking fresh rolls from a hot baking sheet into a cloth-lined basket, and another one, farther down the line, was moving scrambled eggs to a heated dish. She moved forward shyly, waiting for them to send her out again, and suddenly realising just how hungry she was. Well, she hadn’t eaten much last night, despite the party, or perhaps because of it.
„There, I’ll be taking those five credits from you now. There’s a Jedi, awake and ready for breakfast.“The bread man turned away from his colleague and made a wide gesture, signalling Quilibet to come closer.“Ah, it’s a lovely thing to win a bet with the help of a beautiful young lady like yourself.“
„Which bet was that?“Quilibet asked.
„Ee-jit over there was telling me there was no reason to have breakfast ready so early, saying that Jedi were just like everybody else, sleepin’ in on those days when they’re not having to get up and save the galaxy. But I told him they’d be awake at the crack of dawn and feastin’ before their meditations.“The man looked behind Quilibet for signs of more Jedi.“Ah, a wise one you are, gettin’ here extra early and beatin’ the rush. And you, Ee-jit, can be handin’ over that money now.“
The egg man sighed and produced the required amount, handing it over with exaggerated reluctance.“Now I’m not saying you’re obsessed with money, and I’m not saying you’re stingy. I’m talking about deep pockets and short arms. I’m talking about kissing every credit ten times before you spend--“
„Would I be kissing something that’s been in your grubby hands?“
It was obviously an old joke between them and they grinned at each other as they made room for her. Quilibet’s lips never moved, but she almost felt as though she were smiling on the inside as she went down the buffet line. The preconceptions that normal people had about the Jedi never failed to amuse her. Jedi never feasted before meditation! Well, not most of them, and not all the time. In fact, considering the amount of food she’d just piled on her plate, she’d be better off not opening her mouth on that subject in the first place.
After finishing her breakfast, Quilibet took the opportunity to wander around the ship in the silence of early morning, and eventually ended up in one of the lounges which had a few parac tables between the two entrances. She didn’t know how to play parac--Master Rad hadn’t approved--but she’d caught a few glimpses of it before being hauled away and set to schoolwork or meditation or other tasks befitting a young Padawan. Now, idly, she centered nine of the balls with the triangle, then reached for a cue and gave the odd ball out a sharp tap with it. The rest scattered nicely over the table.
She was still fooling around with the parac equipment when a female blonde padawan appeared at one of the entrances to the lounge, looking as though she was about to cry, but making an effort not to. After a moment, she cleared her face and asked,“Can I play, too?“
„Do you know how?“Quilibet asked hopefully.
„No, do you?“
„No.“
The blonde padawan slumped slightly, but came in anyway.“I’ve seen you around, but I don’t know your name.“
„Quilibet Lyr.“
„Oh! You’re the Padawan who’s lost two masters.“
„Yes, I’m the Padawan,“Quilibet admitted, then turned to leave by the other exit. She didn’t want to talk to this girl anymore, but the padawan’s next words shocked her.
„I wish I’d lose my master.“
Quilibet turned around and gaped at her in surprise.“No, you don’t. You don’t know what you’re talking about.“
„I do! Everybody judges me based on her!“
„Who is she, anyway?“
„Master Sal-Fina Falmar.“
It was Quilibet’s turn to say,“Oh!“ So this was Ambianca. Funny, she looked different than Quilibet had expected from all the rumours. She actually looked human.
„There, you see. Even you--!“
„Sorry.“
„How did your masters die?“
„Master Rad pricked his finger on a thorn,“Quilibet reported slowly, carefully controlling her words to keep the tears from rushing into her eyes.
„On a -thorn-?“
„The sap was poisonous for Caamasi.“
„But not for humans?“
Quilibet shook her head and Ambianca looked faintly disappointed.“And your other one?“
„She was injured when we crashed on an uninhabited planet.“
„Crash...“Ambianca appeared thoughtful.“That’d be something to hope for. I used to want to be like my master, you know, but then I realised nobody likes her. She always says really cutting things about others.“
Quilibet had heard that, too, but refrained from nodding.
„Like--like she said that losing one master was unfortunate, but losing two was just plain careless.“
Quilibet’s mouth dropped open and she felt as surprised and wounded as though a light saber had just gone through her heart.“That--that is not true! I wasn’t careless!“
„I didn’t say it, my master--!“
But Quilibet did not give her a chance to finish. Picking up one of the parac balls from the table, she threw it at Ambianca as hard as she could.“I did everything I could for them--both of them! I gave them everything I had! I gave -everything-, but it just wasn’t enough!“
Ambianca managed to duck out of the way even as Quilibet reached for another one.“I--was--not--careless!“
Even as the ball left her fingers, she became aware of somebody coming in behind Ambianca, somebody who didn’t see what was coming and was not fast enough to duck. The heavy sphere connected with the blonde master’s head with a sickening crunch and she fell to the floor.
„Force! Master! Oh, Force!“Ambianca knelt down.“What if she’s dead?“
„She’s not dead, we would have felt it.“A voice from the door behind Quilibet made her whirl around in horror to see Master Berlingside standing there.“Quilibet, I could kiss you!“
Romedon Tenax stood in the entrance to the pool area, watching, entranced, as the slight, redheaded girl laughed. Quilibet’s face had suddenly taken on life, the corners of her mouth were turned up, and there was light in her eyes as she watched Jay Abran sitting fully clothes in the pool and scrubbing his back on the steps while trying to scratch the rest of his body with his hands. Entranced, Romy watched as Quilibet’s mouth suddenly became still, caught in a perfectly round O as Jay’s hand went down to an unmistakeable part of his anatomy, then twitched into a smile again as he slipped down a step or two and went under up to his eyes.
Not daring to move or call attention to herself, Romy continued to observe as Quilibet suddenly sat back in the chair and put her hands to her face, massaging the sore muscles there, then laughed out loud again as Jay pulled himself out of the water.
„Hey, wet tunic contest. Let’s get all the boys in like that,“said somebody on the far side of Quilibet, making the redheaded padawan grin again.
Well, if that’s what it took to get Quilibet to smile, Romy would be more than willing to push Jay in again, and any other male padawan that happened along. Funny about that scratching, though. Even now, coming out, he was still at it.
„Hello, Romy,“Del-Isa Sidatu suddenly called out from the pool, waving one hand.
Romy’s attention went to her for an instant and she smiled, waving back, then glanced over to Quilibet again.
As she’d suspected, the grin was gone and a distinctly fearful expression had taken its place. Romy sighed to herself as she came in, now that there was no longer any need to stay out of sight. The damage had been done. Quilibet scrambled out of the deck chair and stood there indecisively, looking for all the world like a small rodent caught in the headlights of a speeder at night, not knowing which way to run.
Force, did she really intimidate the girl that much? When was she ever going to convince Quilibet that she was a friend?
„Hello, Quil,“she said, coming forward.“I haven’t seen you all morning. What have you been up to?“
Quilibet stared at Master Tenax in horror, wishing herself far away, and searched for words, only to find them all tumbling out of her mouth at once.“I--ah--just--uh--well, she seems to be all right now, but I thought she was dead, and, ah, Master Berlingside wanted to kiss me, and, ah--“
„You thought who was dead? No, wait, stop right there. Master Berlingside wanted to -kiss- you?“Master Tenax’s hand reached automatically to her waist, but there was only the shimmering green fabric of her swimming suit, no light saber.“I know the words Corellian and castration don’t usually come up in the same sentence, but if he’s been making lewd remarks to you, Quil, I am going to have a -serious- talk with that--“
„No, it wasn’t like that, Master Tenax, he was just so pleased that I’d hit Master Falmar in the head with a parac ball--“
„But she seems to be all right now--well, sort of,“Ambianca chimed in, only to fall silent when Master Tenax fixed her with a hard stare.
„You hit a master on the head?“
„Yes, Master Tenax,“Quilibet answered, locking her hands behind her back and keeping her eyes firmly on the woman’s face. Force, what if Master Tenax decided she was too violent to be a Jedi? What if she sent her away, to the Agriculture Corps, or worse? But at the moment, Master Tenax seemed to be waiting only for her to continue, so she said,“I was talking to Ambianca, and she told me that her master had said that--that losing two masters was--was -careless-, and I got angry and I threw a parac ball at her, but she--“
Quilibet let her voice trail off at the angry expression on Master Tenax’s face and felt suddenly cold. That was it. It was going to be the Mining Corps for her. She’d probably be sent there right from Tildas. Padawans who couldn’t control their anger had no place in the ranks of Jedi Knights. She’d failed, failed her masters and herself.
„Go on,“Master Tenax said coldly.
„But--ah--Ambianca ducked, and Master Falmar was right behind her--and she got hit in the head--“Quilibet was aware of Del-Isa bobbing quietly at the side of the pool, listening intently, and wondered if she could beg the Soul Healer for help, for another chance, for--something. Toms and the other boy had stopped splashing and were hanging on every word as well.
„You said she was all right?“Master Tenax turned her gaze to Ambianca.
„Yes, Master Tenax, she woke up soon afterwards, and she forgave Quilibet, I heard it distinctly, and she even invited her over for high tea. If you give your permission, of course.“Ambianca sounded faintly hopeful.
„Don’t go, Quilly, it’s all an act and she’ll try to poison you!“Toms called out.
„Padawan Yarral!“Del-Isa scolded, but then she and Master Tenax both broke out into laughter. When Master Tenax had finished, she turned her gaze to Quilibet again, who felt suddenly sick with apprehension.
„So Ambianca told her how her master had insulted you, you threw a ball at Ambianca, but she ducked, and the ball hit Master Falmar instead?“
„Yes, Master Tenax,“Quilibet whispered.
„The Force moves in mysterious ways, but when it moves, it -moves-! Never fear, Quil, I won’t let Master Berlingside kiss you.“Smiling again, she waved an arm.“Get your swimming suit and come on in.“
Quilibet felt suddenly cold with relief as she realised that everything was all right. She wasn’t going to be sent away. She almost smiled, but settled for a nod instead.“Yes, Master Tenax.“
Going out, the last thing she heard was Toms asking,“Master, what’s castration?“
It had been a long morning for Quilibet, and she went to the dining room as soon as it had opened, hungry and ready for lunch. She had just sat down at a table in the corner when she was surprised to see Master Sidatu and Master Tenax enter the room together, the two boys racing ahead of them to the food line. While Master Tenax followed them, Master Sidatu broke away suddenly and came towards Quilibet.
„Quilibet, would you be willing to do me a favour?“she asked as she approached
„What, Master Sidatu?“
„Do some light saber training with Olrin after you’ve both eaten?“
Quilibet looked over at the black-haired boy in question. He was more than a head smaller than she was and seemed cheerful enough. Even at that distance, she could hear him chattering happily away.
„I wouldn’t mind, Master Sidatu,“she replied. The more he talked, the less she’d have to.
„Oh, and don’t call him Olrin, he doesn’t like it. He prefers Rin.“
„Yes, Master Sidatu.“
When the boys had filled their trays, Master Sidatu motioned them over to where Quilibet was sitting. Master Tenax came, too, having been quicker and more selective in choosing her food.
„Did you know that Master Quillian uses a kind of manure that looks -exactly- like that?“Rin was saying, pointing to something on Master Tenax’s plate as they sat down.
„No, I didn’t know that, and now you have taught me two things, Rin,“she replied.
„I have?“Rin beamed.“What was the second thing, Master Tenax?“
„Ignorance is bliss,“she replied.
Rin regarded her in confusion for a moment, then said,“There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.“
„Yes, that is true. And because I -know- that this is not bat guano or whatever other kind of manure Master Quillan uses, I am going to eat it anyway. May I share it with you?“She put her spoon in and lifted a generous helping in Rin’s direction. To her surprise, he opened his mouth and closed it again over the entire offering.
„Hey! That’s good stuff! Maybe that’s really what Master Quillan uses. Maybe the plants love it, too, that’s why they grow so well. Can I have some more? Can Toms have some, too?“
„You certainly have my permission to get yourself some,“Master Tenax smiled.“But I’m sure that this is -not- what Master Quillan uses, so don’t let me catch you trying to sample -that- stuff when you get back to the Temple.“
Toms sprang off the chair and raced back to the food line, then returned with an entire bowl of the food, and two spoons. Del-Isa followed him at a more sedate pace and sat down with her own tray.
„Romy, after lunch, I’m kidnapping your padawan,“she announced.
„Well, don’t keep her too long, she might not want to come back,“Master Tenax joked, but Quilibet thought she sensed feelings behind the sentence that were serious, almost worried. It made her wonder if she was correct. She’d always known where she was with Master Rad, she’d always known when he was joking and when he wasn’t, and she’d usually been able to predict how he’d react to any given situation. But everything was different now. She supposed she’d had to get used to Master Nektanebos as well, when she’d been chosen as a Padawan at the age of eleven-nearly-twelve, but those four years seemed like a lifetime now.
Master Sidatu smiled tolerantly.“I won’t keep her that long. I’ve just asked her to do some light saber practise with Rin.“
Maybe Master Tenax really was concerned that she wouldn’t want to come back. Quilibet opened her mouth to tell her that she didn’t have to be worried like that, then stopped. Master Tenax might take it the wrong way. She might read more into the answer than Quilibet intended to say. She was still feeling relieved from the scare that morning when she’d thought Master Tenax might send her away, and she was happy to be allowed to stay, because staying with a new master was definitely preferable to being sent to the Mining Corps, but she certainly didn’t want to give the impression that she was ready for bonding or anything like that. No, it was best not to speak at all, not just yet.
„Light saber practise?“Rin looked overjoyed.“Oh, yes! Can we do a little sparring, Quilly? Sometimes I do katas in the garden, when my master’s not looking of course, with a rake instead of a light saber, even though it’s different, but the bushes never fight back, so it’s not the same. Just a little free-fighting at the end, please?“
„I don’t see why not,“Quilibet nodded, and Rin’s face seemed to glow even more with anticipation.
Sara Tencourt sat on the bar at the end of one of the conference rooms of the Chancellor’s ship. She was tired. Her sleep had been disrupted that night by noises from outside her room. While her first sleep had been peaceful and deep, the second time she managed to doze off was plagued with nightmares. Sara tilted her head back against the wall and closed her eyes letting one foot dangle over the side of the bar. She liked sitting like this. It was peaceful here away from everything.
She rose slowly into a standing position on the bar, turning her back to the rest of the room and sliding backwards a little until only her toes were still on the ledge. This is what she was really here for, to practice and make things perfect. Stretching up a little, she did a somersault off, landed, then did a back handspring, a piked flip, another handspring, then made a quarter turn as she landed, and went into a series of cartwheels. Having reserved the room for herself and expecting no-one to even come near it, Sara decided to round-off at the end of her cartwheels and make a Force-assisted jump up to the ceiling, turning 180 degrees while at the apex. Her light saber jumped into her hands and ignited as she came down, searching for imaginary enemies--and found a live one instead.
„Arrrr!“Sara screeched, reacting instictively to shut off the light saber before it sliced through the red-headed girl who’d come two steps into the room. She was barely in time. The emitter end of her weapon hit the girl on the shoulder and the force of the blow felled her to her knees, falling forward into Sara and making her take a step back for balance.
„What the--?“she asked, glaring down at the girl, seeing two fearful green eyes staring back. An anger deep inside Sara sprang suddenly to life at their anxious look as the girl disentangled herself and scooted backwards, watching her all the time.“What are you doing in here? Didn’t you see my sign? Sith on a spit, girl, you could have been killed! How can any Jedi be so -stupid-?“
Sara didn’t know how she got so many words out, or so quickly. Shock usually rendered her speechless. The green eyes turned tearful and Sara closed her own eyes briefly.
//Please.// She begged silently, //Any other day I could have dealt with crying padawans but not today. Please not today.//
Something must have answered her because the girl’s tears went no further then her eyes, though her face was pained enough to make Sara feel instantly guilty.
„There wasn’t any sign,“said a voice behind the girl, and Sara glanced up in astonishment to see a boy of about nine years, with black hair cut short, but not short enough to eradicate the tight curls that covered his head.“Quil said we could practise with our light sabers here, and there wasn’t any sign on the door.“
Sara glared at him, then stalked to the door and smacked her palm against the control to open it. Sith. There was her note, face down on the other side of the corridor.
„All right, all right,“she said, tacking it back up again in annoyance.“But it’s here now, so get out. Both of you.“
„But if you’re doing light saber stuff, too, maybe we could practise together,“the boy suggested.
„Not a chance, fresher-brush-head,“she snapped. His hopeful look was suddenly replaced by an insulted expression.
„Are you looking for a fight?“the girl asked slowly. She’d got to her feet in the meantime and had wiped her tears away. Now she put one hand on her light saber.
Sara shook her head.“I don’t want to fight against kids. I’d have to be too careful not to kill you. Just run along now and find another room to practise the first two katas in, will you?“
Now it was the girl’s turn to look faintly insulted. She took a deep breath and let it out in a classic Temple exercise which made Sara’s blood boil even more, then turned towards the entrance.“Come on, Rin, I remember seeing a ballroom where we could practise instead.“
At first, Quilibet didn’t see Master Tenax in the doorway of the ballroom. After a nicely satisfying session of elementary exercises and some kata work, she had finally given in to Rin’s not-so-subtle hints and they had started to free-fight. Rin hadn’t been a padawan very long, and was still inexperienced, but Quilibet was surprised that he managed to keep her on her toes. Not all the time, of course, but again and again and again. A few more years, she thought, and what a fighter he’d be!
At length, however, she managed to disarm the black-haired boy, sending his light saber skittering across the floor of the ballroom. He scrambled after it, snatching it up and switching it back on as he turned around to continue the duel, then looked beyond Quilibet and smiled.“Hello Master Tenax!“
Quilibet jumped in surprise, spinning around and bowing automatically. She thought she saw a slight shadow of displeasure flicker over Master Tenax’ face as she came up, but then she smiled.“Hello, Rin. Hello, Quilibet. How’s the training going?“
„Great, Master Tenax!“Rin exclaimed.
„It’s going very well, Master Tenax,“Quilibet echoed, wondering what she’d done wrong or if she’d just imagined that emotion.
„Have you come to spar with Quilly?“Rin asked, looking as though he hoped she hadn’t.
„No. I’ve come to bring you both to the main lounge. We’re going to play a game of Hide and Seek.“
„Regular Hide and Seek, or Sardine Hide and Seek?“Rin asked, clipping his light saber to his belt.
„Regular, I think. Why?“
„I don’t like being squished during Sardines. Once Isadora Lucey was sitting next to me under the table and nobody had to look very hard to find us, all they had to do was follow the smacking noises. Yuck! She kept trying to kiss me!“Rin looked disgusted, and Master Tenax smiled in a way that conveyed both amusement and astonishment that the initiates even knew about Sardines, let alone played it.
Quilibet fervently hoped that they were going to play regular Hide and Seek. She didn’t like being squished, either.
„Who else is playing?“
„Everybody that we can find, masters and padawans. Come on, let’s get going before we’re late.“
Following Master Tenax down the corridor, Quilibet decided not to mention the funny, orange-haired woman who had almost sliced in her in two in that conference room. Hopefully, she’d also growl at whoever was sent to fetch her, and would refuse to play. Quilibet didn’t want to have to find her and risk getting her arm cut off, or worse, if she happened to surprise her from behind or something. And she certainly wasn’t going to get near that conference room while looking for a hiding place.
When the second round of Hide and Seek began, and it was determined that Master Falmar was “it“, Quilibet didn’t stop to hear any more. She sidled backwards to the door, then leaped through it and began to run down the corridor. She’d hidden behind one of the sofas in the parac room last time, and briefly considered going back there, but decided to try out a new hiding place instead. Opening one of the bedroom doors at random, she hopped in and decided to secrete herself in the double-doored wardrobe, which had plenty of space despite the fact that there were three beds and three travel cases in the room. Despite the fact that it was obvious somebody would come back to the room eventually, Quilibet was afraid of being locked in, and therefore held the wardrobe a finger’s breadth open. It also gave her a good view of the room and especially the door.
A few minutes went by, and then the door to the room slid open without warning. Quilibet pulled back automatically, her head coming into contact with one of the hangers. Panicked, she reached up to stop the motion, but relaxed when she saw that it was only Zac and not a gleeful Master Falmar.
„I am going to kill Tanni,“Zac muttered, hopping around on one leg to pull the other boot off, then switching legs. He was soaking wet and the drops of water that fell from him were making a large, random pattern on the carpeted floor.“I should have drowned him when I had the chance!“
He straightened up, then caught sight of his reflection in the mirror on the outside of the wardrobe.“Hmm, talk about wet tunic contests...“
Flexing both arms and puffing out his chest a little, Zac then began to sing.“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!“
He began a striptease then, slowly undoing his belt and throwing it on one of the beds, then turning around suddenly. Apparantly reassured that it was not his bed, Zac then tugged off his tabard and tossed it there as well, then his overtunic, moving it slowly up from waistline to shoulders and wiggling out of it seductively. Quilibet was torn between excitement and sheer shock. The undertunic went next, and then Zac laid down on the carpet and began to strip his socks off his feet, twirling them around in the air a few times, then letting them fly over to the bed as well. Getting gracefully to his feet again, Zac placed both hands on the waistband of his leggings.
„Mmm, somebody STOP me,“he commanded his reflection.
Quilibet continued to stare, unable to look away, as Zac slowly tugged at them, moving them down his body an agonising little bit at a time. Suddenly, he spun around and bent over, shaking his behind a few times in Quilibet’s direction, then straightened up and spun back again to continue the slow striptease. Quilibet’s mouth dropped open at the same time as the leggings dropped down to reveal the same Jedi standard issue boxers that Master Rad wore. (Not that she’d ever seen Master Rad actually wearing them, but she’d done his laundry often enough to know. ) Quilibet didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed as Zac stepped neatly out of the leggings, picked them up with one foot, and began to twirl them, too. They landed on the wrong bed, but he reached out with the Force and made them hop over to the right one.
Then Zac’s hands went to the only remaining piece of clothing on his body. Quilibet’s mouth was dry and her heart was thudding in her chest; her eyes were as good as paralysed. He wiggled and gyrated, and she watched every movement. Was he? Wasn’t he? Would he really? He was going to stop now, wasn’t he? But he didn’t, and with a final flourish, he stripped off the boxers and presented Quilibet with a full view of the bare necessities.
„Just you wait, female Pad’wans, just you wait! You will want me and you should not be too late!“
It all happened at once. Zac was marching forward to the mirror, having changed tunes, and Quilibet somehow lost her grip on the inside of the door and then lost her balance. The door sprang open and she tumbled out of the wardrobe, straight into Zac, knocking him to the floor. At the same time, the door to the room burst open and Sal-Fina jumped in.
„Caught you!“she grinned happily.“And just in time, too. Quilibet darling do you need some help?“
She waggled her eyebrows so that Quilibet knew exactly what kind of help she was referring to, and Quilibet and Zac both scrambled upright. Zac covered himself with both hands as he raced past Sal-Fina to the fresher, but was not quick enough to avoid getting a smart smack on the behind.
„Oooh! You remind me of Qui-Gon in his padawan days!“Sal-Fina exclaimed, kissing her fingers.“And by the way, you’re IT!“
„No! Sith, no!“Zac leaped out of the fresher, wrapping a towel around his waist, then sprinted through the open door.“Not if I get back to base first!“ Sal-Fina began to chase after him, and Quilibet followed, wondering what kind of dreams she was going to have that night.
Day 2, supper time
The game of Hide and Seek was over at last, and many of the masters and padawans had gathered in the dining room for supper. Glancing around, Quilibet didn’t know whether she was relieved or disappointed that Zac had managed to get dressed in the meantime. He’d come in late and had sat down at another table with a few free seats. Quilibet’s table had been full, with her, Master Tenax, Master Sidatu, Rin and Toms. She felt faintly annoyed that she hadn’t had the option of waving Zac over, then wondered in the same moment if he would have been embarrassed by such a gesture, and whether he was going to avoid her now for the rest of the trip.
„Do you and Quilibet want to come with us to the party to-night?“Master Sidatu asked.
Quilibet looked up. She wasn’t too keen on parties as a rule, but on the other hand, it was a good way to find out about Zac. Maybe he’d try to pretend that nothing had happened. That would be acceptable. Or maybe he’d waggle his eyebrows and say something about „seeing more of each other.“ Maybe he’d even write a poem about the occasion. Then she’d know that everything was truly all right between them.
„Thank you, but Quilibet and I will not be attending,“said Master Tenax.
Quilibet gaped at her.“Wh-why not, Master Tenax?“
Master Tenax’s eyes were shining with anticipation as she turned to Quilibet.“I was hiding in the library to-day and discovered that Chancellor Valorum has a very well-stocked games library and not only one, but two double-screen consoles. I thought you and I could play Invaders.“
„Invaders?“Quilibet echoed in dismay.“What is that?“
„It’s a game, Quilibet.“
„A game?“
„Don’t tell me you’ve never played holo games before, Quil.“
„Master Rad had a few training scenarios...“
„Training scenarios? This is much more fun!“
„Um...I’d rather go to the party, Master Tenax.“If there were dancing, maybe Zac would ask her to dance. Or maybe one of the other boys would. Hopefully Kryztan wouldn’t be there.
„I’m sorry, Quilibet, but that’s not an option.“
Quilibet gaped at her again.“What? Why not?“
„All right, Padawan, the real reason is because I don’t think you need to be exposed to the Berlingside Influence,“Master Tenax said calmly after taking a breath and releasing it.
„What’s the Berlingside Influence?“Toms asked suddenly, leaning forward in delighted anticipation.
„Yes, what?“Quilibet asked.“And if it’s so dangerous, why do Toms and Rin get to go and I don’t?“
„Because Toms and Rin are not my padawans, and you are. Also, they’re not only not in danger, but they’re probably too young to understand anyway.“
Quilibet frowned, not at all sure of that statement.
„And playing Invaders will give us a chance to do something fun together,“Master Tenax added, her stern voice receding to be replaced by a more enthusiastic one.
Quilibet frowned even harder, but recognised an order even when it was disguised as fun.“Yes, Master Tenax.“
„Would you like to be the Imperator in the stronghold, or the Invading Force, trying to get in?“
„Whichever you like, Master Tenax,“she mumbled, pushing the rest of her food around on her plate.
„Eat it, don’t play with it,“Master Tenax admonished her, sounding so much like Master Rad that Quilibet put a forkful in her mouth out of sheer habit.
„Well, you can be the Invaders, then. I’ll give you some extra men and a handicap of twenty points, but I’ll bet that you don’t make it.“
„I’ll trade places with you, Quilly, I -love- Invaders!“Rin volunteered.“And I’ll bet I could beat Master Tenax even without the handicap!“
Quilibet turned pleading eyes towards Master Tenax, but the mahogany-haired woman remained firm, and after supper, they went into the library and sat down at the double-screen console. At first, Quilibet read through the list of rules half-heartedly, and listlessly started to play. But the game turned out to be more fun than she’d expected. Much more fun. And she was getting good at it, so good that she was dismayed when the game suddenly ended.
„What? No, I was getting there! Let’s play again!“
They played again. Quilibet forgot that it was Master Tenax on the other side of the console. She was caught up in being the invading strike force, exchanging insults with the Imperator, watching his defenses crumble one by one until, at last, she was there! Chop! Slice! Game over!
„Hah!“she cheered triumphantly.“This is great! Let’s play again!“
„Maybe to-morrow,“said the rich, melodic voice at her side.“But for now, it’s bedtime.“
Quilibet groaned and leaned her head against the screen, completely missing Master Tenax’s own little smile of triumph.
„Come on, master, we’ve got to get going,“Quilibet said, desperately aware of the urgency of their situation, the danger that surrounded them, but when she turned around, Master Romy lay motionless on the ground. Quilibet ran to her side and knelt down, fearing that her master was dead. The feeling of urgency turned to one of complete and utter desperation, and she began to sob and then to shriek.“No! Romy, please, no! Don’t leave me! Romy! Romy!“
It’s a dream, Quilibet realised, forcing herself back into wakefulness. It’s just a dream.
But it took several moments for the panic to subside and her heartbeat to slow to normal. Quilibet repeated it over and over again, telling herself that it was just a dream. It had to have been a dream. They’d been among plants and trees, but here on the Kaligari, too, somehow. That was the sort of thing that always happened in Quilibet’s dreams; two different places combining themselves into one single location. She’d called her Romy, too, not Master Tenax, and that definitely proved it! It was only a dream.
Still lying motionless in bed, Quilibet began to consider the dream, and came to only one conclusion. She was allowing herself to get too close to Master Tenax. She had to stop and distance herself from the woman. She’d been careless last night, and the Force had sent her a warning. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to survive if her heart were broken a third time, Quilibet firmly resolved to keep her feelings towards Master Tenax neutral at best.
But why did it seem so hard all of a sudden?
Frowning, she sat up, and as though she had been waiting for the sound of movement from Quilibet’s bed, Master Tenax asked,“Are you awake, Quilibet?“
„Yes, Master Tenax.“
„Would you like the refresher first?“
„No, thank you, Master Tenax. Go ahead.“
While Master Tenax got ready for the day, Quilibet meditated, reaching into the Force for strength to keep her resolve firm. She also made herself release all her feelings for Master Tenax into the Force along with all the lingering fear from the dream and the grief at the death of Master Rad which she still experienced. The grief seemed to be especially strong that morning, and she found herself focusing on it for longer than necessary, remembering him more intensely as though trying to forget Master Tenax. But she could not forget, and eventually emerged from meditation feeling slightly less peaceful than she had hoped.
„Shall we go to breakfast together?“Master Tenax asked when Quilibet emerged from the shower.
Quilibet nodded.“But do we have to sit next to Master Sidatu and the boys?“
„No, we don’t have to. The dining room is large enough. Why?“
„I--there are some things I want to talk to you about.“
„Oh.“
„Don’t look so happy!“Quilibet exclaimed, feeling instantly guilty at the unmistakeable expression that had suddenly lit up Master Tenax’ face.“It’s not what you think--I don’t want to bond!“
The expression faded into a more stoic one and Master Tenax nodded.“I see.“
On the way to the dining room, Quilibet ignored the feeling of regret that she had begun to feel, and eventually forced it to go away. But by the time they arrived, she wasn’t feeling as hungry as she had when they had set out.
They chose a table away from everybody else, and sat down across from each other. Showing no impatience at all, Master Tenax started to eat. Quilibet picked up a forkful of scrambled eggs, then put them down again, and stared morosely at her breadroll. After a moment, she moved her knife towards the butter, then stopped again. She was already starting to search for the right combination of words in her mind, wondering how best to break the news.
„It’s not--“she started to say, then hesitated.
Master Tenax looked up expectantly.“Not what?“
Rubbing the ball of her thumb along the serrated edge of the knife, Quilibet took a deep breath. There wasn’t any easy way to say it, or if there was, she hadn’t found it yet.“It’s not that I don’t want to bond with you, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be safe.“
„It wouldn’t be safe?“Master Tenax echoed.
„No. So you might as well stop thinking about it. We can think of a way for--for you to train me. Without a bond. Without anything.“Quilibet stabbed the knife into the breadroll, then pulled it out again and rubbed her thumb along the edge a second time, wiping away the crumbs.“I have to--I have to stay neutral--I can’t afford to like you. Don’t think that I hate you, because I don’t, but I just can’t allow myself to--to feel anything.“
„Quilibet--“
„Please don’t call me Quilibet, Master Tenax. I really think it would be better if you just called me Padawan Lyr. Like strangers.“
There was a long silence and then Master Tenax said,“I don’t think I understand. Can you try to explain it a little more fully?“
Quilibet pushed the knife into the roll again, this time from the side, then repeated the action with her thumb.“I can’t have a bond with you.“
„I know that you don’t want to, but I’m not sure of the reason.“
Stab. Wipe. Finally, Quilibet admitted,“I don’t think I can go through it again.“
„I know it’s a big step, but I believe it’s a risk that you can take.“
„No.“Remembering the dream, Quilibet shook her head.
„Quilibet, I will not die on you.“
„Don’t say that!“Quilibet hissed, jamming her knife into the roll so hard that the tip hit the plate underneath with a definite clink.“Master Rad promised he’d never leave me. He’s dead now! The same with Master Nektanebos. She’s dead, too! Don’t make promises like that, or you’ll end up dead, too. Just like them.“
„I don’t believe that, Quilibet.“
„I think--maybe--it’s the will of the Force that all my masters die. I don’t know why. I had a dream last night that you were dying, too, or maybe you were already dead. If I’m going to lose you one day anyway, maybe even soon, then why should I bother to like you? I don’t want to feel like this again! I don’t want my heart broken again! See, I’m a bad Jedi! I don’t want to accept the will of the Force like this! I keep thinking I can’t afford to like you! Maybe--maybe if I don’t feel anything for you, maybe you’ll be safe then. Maybe the Force won’t take you away from me. But if it does, I want--I want to be ready. If I don’t let you into my heart in the first place, then you can’t be ripped out of it later. No bond. No feelings. We’ve got to be strangers to each other. Then maybe there’s a chance you’ll live. I don’t want you to--have to die--because of me--“
Throughout this long speech, Quilibet had been alternatively jabbing the knife and cleaning it with her thumb, but by the end, she had become so agitated that she stabbed when she should have wiped, and the edge of the knife sliced into the ball of her thumb. Surprised at the sudden pain, Quilibet glanced down at the blood welling up, and wondered vaguely at how much damage a simple table knife could do.
Reaching across the table with a napkin, Master Tenax caught her hand and pressed her own thumb firmly against the wound to stop the bleeding.
„Quilibet,“she said slowly, then corrected it.“Padawan Lyr. I need some time to think about this and I think I’m going to need some help in understanding your point of view. I’d really appreciate it if you would repeat all this to Del--Soul Healer Sidatu. And then I’ll talk to her later about it, so that I really understand, because I still want to be your master, no matter what. After that, we’ll figure out exactly how we can continue our relationship. Is this acceptable?“
Quilibet considered this request, faintly relieved that Master Tenax had called her Padawan Lyr, then nodded.
Day 3, late morning:
"...so you see? I /can't/ bond! I mustn't! I don't want anybody else to die!" Quilibet's throat was tight, making the words sound strained. It was harder to explain the second time, facing two Masters now, but she had to keep her resolve firm. They almost understood, she knew it, and once they did then she and Master Tenax might both be safe.
Del-Isa nodded slowly, but internally her heart sank. She had thought Quilibet had been making excellent progress, but clearly she had been wrong. Now the girl had convinced herself that she was to blame for her Masters' deaths. It was one step forwards and two steps back; and she had tried everything she could think of to help. All she was doing now was repeating platitudes, and they had clearly failed to help in the past. "Quilibet, you have been very unfortunate, but no more that that."
"Unfortunate? They died and that's unfortunate? They died and it was my fault! It had to be, don't you see? The Force... the Force took them away."
"It was a tragic and unhappy coincidence," the Soul Healer said firmly, all the while knowing that Quilibet was not allowing herself to believe. "It does /not/ mean that anybody else will die. There's no reason to believe that."
"But... but there is. I had a dream." Quilibet struggled to get the words out. Just thinking about it has brought the scene back to her as vividly as if she were there again. She looked pleadingly at Master Tenax. She couldn't bear to tell her about it. How could you tell somebody that you'd seen them die?
"A dream?" Del-Isa sat forwards, her professional interest on full alert. This was something new. Perhaps there was some progress after all. Feelings often came out in dreams when an individual was trying to ignore or reject them. If she knew what they were, she could help Quilibet come to terms with them.
"Master Tenax?" Quilibet asked. "Please... can I talk to Master Sidatu alone?"
Romy looked at Del-Isa, then stood up. "Of course, Quil- Padawan Lyr. I'll be waiting outside."
"Now," said Del-Isa, standing up herself and moving over behind Quilibet, placing her hands on the padawan's shoulders. "Open yourself to the Force, and take me though this dream." The Soul Healer closed her eyes and relaxed. Quilibet's presence was familiar to her. She slipped easily into a light meditative state, guiding the padawan into the same level of consciousness.
With a sudden stab of regret, she wished she could work so easily with her own padawan. She felt Quilibet's spurt of surprise at the lapse of concentration, and, berating herself, returned to the task at hand.
The memory gripped Quilibet with frightening intensity. Del-Isa felt the fear and desperation radiating from the young padawan as she recounted the dream. Calling on her training, the Soul Healer reached out with the Force to contain the emotions and channel them harmlessly away, but the moment's lapse of concentration had left flaws in her preparation. The Force-driven warning in Quilibet's words took her by surprise, and the surprise caused her to freeze.
Now Del-Isa was no longer providing an outlet for Quilibet's mounting distress. The fear and despair gathered at the edges of their minds, gnawing at their confidence. Del-Isa's self-doubts returned, and with their minds linked as they were Quilibet picked up their echo, returning them with her own. Del-Isa could feel the first paralizing chill of dangerous helplessness starting to grip her.
The knowledge of just how dangerous it could be reminded Del-Isa that she had to regain control. She struggled back into full alertness, pushing away the morass of untamed emotion. Gently she shook Quilibet's shoulders, lifting the padawan out of the light trance. Quilibet blinked at her, startled and afraid. "What happened."
Del-Isa sat down before she replied, composing herself. "It was a vision," she said, glossing over her own momentary loss of control.
"Then she /will/ die!" Quilibet gasped, her hands creeping towards her mouth.
"No. It does not have to mean that." Del-Isa was still putting her own thoughts in order. "It is only a possible future. It may never happen, or it may happen differently. She may simply be unconsious."
"But you saw it. It's me, it's because of me! And I don't know what to do. I don't want it to happen, but it's the will of the Force. Don't you see?" A tear trickled down Quilibet's face. "I know I should accept the will of the Force, but I can't! I know it makes me a bad Jedi, but I can't let anyone else be hurt. And I don't want to be hurt anymore, either. I don't want it to hurt me if Master Tenax dies. So I can't allow myself to like her because it will cause me more pain if she dies. I know this isn't Jedi-like; we're supposed to serve others and not think of ourselves, but--I can't. I just can't take more pain like that. Not a third time."
"The dream does /not/ mean there will be a third time! That is /not/ the way the Force works!" Del-Isa's exclamation was one of frustration, and, in her private opinion, yet another outburst of unprofessional behaviour. It did, however, stop Quilibet's flow of recrimination. "You are not jinxed, you have just been unlucky. The Force is not out to get anybody you care about, the Force is not like that. And you are not a bad Jedi, you are just a confused and miserable padawan who needs a big hug. And I could use a hug as well," the Soul Healer admitted.
Quilibet gave her a very startled glance, then cautiously accepted the invitation. Master Sidatu was right. The hug was comforting; and it was safe, from the Soul Healer. It wasn't bonding, the padawan told herself. It couldn't be, Master Sidatu had her own padawan.
"Now," Del-Isa said finally. "We are going to call in Master Tenax, and we are going to explain to her why you feel the way you feel. Then you and she are going to sit down and have that talk she mentioned."
"With you?" Quilibet asked, still feeling as if nothing had really changed.
"No." Del-Isa hoped she looked calm and composed rather than sheepish, which is what she actually felt. Here was a child struggling to come to terms with the deaths of two much-loved Masters. It put her own petty argument with Toms into sharp perspective. She should have known better, she should have handled it differently, and above all she should not have allowed her personal feelings to affect her so badly. "I know another padawan who probably needs a hug too."
Romy was standing quietly in the hall when Master Sidatu opened the door to motion her in. She came and sat down, not allowing her face to reveal her emotions, but she couldn’t help looking questioningly at Quilibet.
„Quilibet had a dream this morning,“Del-Isa stated.“Or rather, a vision of a possible future. She saw you, Romy, lying on the ground.“
Romy immediately reached out and laid a hand on Quilibet’s leg.“It’s just a possible future, Quil--Padawan Lyr.“
„Exactly,“Del-Isa added smoothly.“And it was not at all clear whether you were unconscious--“
„Or dead,“Romy broke in. Master Sidatu looked surprised at the interruption, but nodded.
„Quilibet is naturally afraid that the worst will happen, and understandably so. That is why she resists the idea of bonding with you so vehemently.“
„What can I do to help?“Romy asked, leaning slightly towards Quilibet.“Is there any way we can convince you, Padawan Lyr, that these visions don’t have to happen? Or that they might be symbolic?“
Quilibet looked away and clenched her hands into fists, obviously at war with herself, but said nothing. Romy hadn’t expected her to answer.
„We are working on that,“Del-Isa said,“but I think it will be a long, hard process to convince Quilibet that the Force is not out to get anyone she cares about, and that letting herself bond with you is not tantamount to signing your death sentence. I think all you can do right now, Romy, is be patient. Just be patient.“
„I can do that,“Romy nodded, and then Del-Isa stood up.“I’ll leave you two alone now. You have some things to discuss, and I need to find my padawan.“
„Well,“said Romy when they were alone, remembering what Quilibet had mentioned at breakfast,“Now I suppose we should discuss how we want to treat each other.“
Quilibet nodded.
„I don’t want you to live in constant fear of me falling down dead one day. You seem to think that if we treat each other like polite strangers, this won’t happen, so I’m willing to go along in order to ease your mind.“
„Thank you, Master Tenax,“Quilibet said, sounding relieved.
„How about a trial period to begin with, say, two weeks?“
„That’s not very long, Master Tenax,“Quilibet frowned.
„No, but it’s enough to see if it’s working or not. Then we can have another conference and see if anything needs to be changed.“
Quilibet considered this, then nodded her agreement. Romy nodded as well, pleased with the outcome. It was obvious to her that Quilibet had started to care about her, just a little bit, despite everything. She couldn’t admit it, not even to herself, and Romy was certainly not going to confront her with the knowledge, but she could see it by the way Quilibet got upset every time she thought about it. It was going to be very difficult for the girl to uphold the facade of polite strangers for even those two weeks, and Romy was already planning on doing as much as she could to wear down Quilibet’s resistance without the girl even noticing. Steadily dripping water could bore a hole through stone, given enough time, and she was going to bore her way into Quilibet’s heart. She knew it was possible, and thank the Force that patience was one of her virtues.
In the afternoon, there were sparring matches. Quilibet sat on the sidelines and did a lot of watching, not caring whether she were there, or anywhere else. Eventually, Ambianca came up and challenged her to a match, but by the time the space was free, it was late. During their completely uneventful match, Quilibet noticed most of the others leaving the room. By the time they’d finished, only Simeon, who was a Healer padawan, and Master Tenax were left, and as soon as it became obvious that Quilibet would not be needing any medical help, Simeon went off as well.
„Come to the bar with me, we’ll have a drink,“Ambianca suggested.
„You go ahead,“said Master Tenax smoothly.“I just wanted to speak to Padawan Lyr alone for a minute.“
Bowing obediently, Ambianca went off, and Quilibet steeled herself for some kind of confrontation. But Master Tenax only pointed out some of her weaknesses at sparring, and where she’d left herself exposed, and showed her how to avoid the kill point the next time.
„Thank you, Master Tenax,“Quilibet said when the demonstration was over.“Um--may I go to the bar?“
„You know the rules about alcohol and the minimum age, Padawan Lyr. I expect you to abide by them.“
„Yes, Master Tenax.“
But halfway there, Quilibet ran into Rin and Toms, who seemed to be having an argument.
„Quilly!“Rin called out in what sounded like sheer relief.
„Rin! She’s a girl!“Toms protested.
„Yeah, but she can still help us,“Rin countered. Toms made a disbelieving face.“Maybe she couldn’t. Maybe she’s never done it before either.“
„She can! She’s been on missions and everything! Haven’t you, Quilly?“
„Yes, I’ve been on missions. What’s this all about, then?“Quilibet was intrigued. At her age, none of the padawans distinguished any longer between male and female, and she was curious to discover what it was they thought a girl couldn’t do.
„You know that tent-pitching contest we’re having later?“Rin explained.
Quilibet vaguely remembered hearing something about it.
„We want to win!“Toms declared stoutly.
„Yes?“Quilibet urged.
„But we’ve never actually pitched a tent,“Rin added, looking downcast.
„Rin thought we should practise a bit before the contest. And we wanted to ask somebody to help us, but all the other boys are in the bar, and I don’t know why, but the barkeeper won’t let us in,“Toms explained.
„So you want me to get one of the boys out for you?“Quilibet asked.
„They’re all too busy drinking,“Rin said.“We’ve already sent messages to all of them, asking them to come out and help, but they won’t. So would you mind terribly helping us practise a bit?“
„It’d be good practise for you, too, and the girl’s team would benefit as well,“Toms said with more truth than tact.
„It just wouldn’t be fair if the boys’ team had two inexperienced members,“Quilibet mused aloud,“and we didn’t. And I don’t mind having the chance to practise. All right, I’ll help you.“
They lugged one of the tents out of the storage area up to the ballroom where they had previously had the sparring contest. It was nicely empty now, and there was plenty of space for them to work in. Quilibet showed them several times how to set up the tent, patiently explaining each step of the way. Before long, or so it seemed, they were all able to do it with their eyes shut, and were practising that way, having blindfolded themselves with their own sashes, when the door opened.
For a moment, there was silence. Quilibet removed the sash from her eyes and looked into a group of padawan faces.
„What are you doing?“asked Meri Irhanah.
„Just practising,“Quilibet explained.
„Practising what?“
„Pitching tents.“
„With -boys-?“Letina Sorrell squeaked.
„They asked me to help them, so I did,“Quilibet replied, confused.
„You--you’re aiding and abetting the -enemy-!“
„You’re ruining our plan!“Jemmiah pouted.
„What plan?“Quilibet asked. Why hadn’t anybody told her? She felt like an outsider.
„Yeah, what plan?“Obi-Wan echoed.
„Never mind what plan! You’ve ruined it now, so it doesn’t matter!“
„They’d never pitched a tent before. I didn’t think it would be a fair win if the boys lost because they had two inexperienced members on their team,“Quilibet tried to explain.
„Never mind about fair, we just want to win!“Meri hissed, and Quilibet fell silent, feeling as though she were trying to play a game without understanding the rules.
„We want to win, too!“Rin exclaimed, looking extremely distressed and unhappy.“We didn’t want to be a liability! We didn’t want the team to lose because of us!“
Jay Abran looked at Toms and Rin as though at a particularly noisome insect and said incredulously,“You asked a -girl- for help?“
„Why didn’t you ask one of us?“Obi-Wan added.
„Traitors!“Zac slurred.
„We did ask!“Toms stated.“But none of you wanted to come out!“
The boys fell into a guilty silence.
„Well, this isn’t fair,“Letina announced.“They shouldn’t be allowed to participate!“
„It -is- fair! Quilibet was practising at the same time!“Toms said. Then, defiantly, he placed his hands on his hips and said,“Just try and stop us!“
„I will!“Jemmiah said, accepting the challenge by grabbing him by the wrist. He tried to twist out of her grip, but within a moment, she had twisted his arm behind his back, and he finally had to resort to a threat.“I’m gonna tell my master about this! She’s gonna come ANALYZE you!“
Letina was not far behind in grabbing Rin, who said,“And my master knows a lot of uses for gardening shears and rakes!“
But the girls held on tightly.
„They’ve got hostages!“Jay exclaimed.“That’s not fair!“
„Everything’s fair in love and war!“Obi-Wan announced, grabbing Quil by the arm. She tried to get away, but his grip was like iron.
„Where’d you learn that?“Jemmiah asked.
„From you.“Obi-Wan moved his leg aside as Quilibet tried to kick him in the knee, and bent her wrist in a way that she knew all too well could result in a break with a little more pressure. She put her leg down and stood quite still, and he whispered in her ear,“Good girl.“
She wondered briefly what Zac’s breath would feel like on her skin, and found herself hoping it wouldn’t smell like alcohol. Then she pushed the thought violently away. She wasn’t planning on letting Zac or anybody else get that close to her.
„I suggest an exchange of hostages,“said Tanni, stepping forward in what he hoped was a diplomatic Jedi way.
„Not fair,“said Meri.“We have two hostages, you only have one. If we give them back, then you have two experts on your team, and we only have one.“
„We don’t want this competition ruined by people who know what they’re doing,“Zac announced.
„All right, we’ll take them out,“Obi-Wan announced, turning Quilibet and pushing her towards the door. She allowed herself to be propelled out into the hall, and then asked,“What shall we do with her?“
„Tie her up and leave her somewhere,“Simeon suggested.
„Yeah, but where?“
„Zac’s bed,“said Simeon.
Obi-Wan giggled and pushed Quilibet down the hall to the lift. Inside the now-familiar bedroom, he held her arms as Simeon tied them together behind her back, and then they heaved her up onto the bed and went out. She waited until the door had slid shut behind them before she started to struggle.
„What shall we do with them?“Letina asked, pushing Rin down the other side of the corridor to the other lift.
„Tie them up and leave them somewhere,“Jemmiah announced to the pack of girls who had followed them in case they needed back-up.
„Yeah, but where?“Letina asked.
„In their quarters. They’ll be safe there.“
„This was all your idea,“Toms growled to Rin.
„I’m a gardener, not a prophet,“he shot back.“How was I supposed to know it would end like this? You’re more in tune with the Unifying Force. Why didn’t you see it coming?“
Toms gave a derisive snort, but said nothing after that.
When the girls had finished restraining their hostages and had left them on their beds, they exited the room. Halfway back to the competition, they caught a glimpse of Qui-Gon.
„Next hostage!“Jemmiah announced happily.“Get ‘im, girls!“
It took Quilibet half of an eternity to untie the knots using the Force. She was out of practise in using the Force at all. It took a great effort to calm her mind and let it flow through her, and another effort to feel the material binding her wrists together, then pull it apart. As she worked, she thought ruefully that this would be a good time to have a master-padawan bond. Then she could simply call for help, and Master Tenax would come--no. Not Master Tenax. If she was going to wish for things, then for Master Rad. For a moment, tears rushed to her eyes as she thought of the gentle Caamasi master, and she found herself wishing fervently that he was here with her, his furry fingers working expertly at the knots. But he was gone, and she had to get used to the idea that she was going to be on her own from now on. She had to learn to get herself out of trouble. There wasn’t going to be another bond. She wasn’t ever going to have a partner like Master Rad or Master Nek again; she had to forget the idea of depending on another person and be ready to do it all herself. No Master Tenax, she told herself fiercely. Gritting her teeth for a short moment, Quilibet then forced herself to relax and open up to the Force.
Eventually, there was enough slack that she could pull her wrists free, and she got up, breathing a sigh of relief and untying the knots completely. Obi-Wan and Simeon had used her own sash to tie her hands together, as it had been hanging handily around her neck at the time, and she unwound it, smoothed it flat, then fitted it around her waist again and fastened her belt over it. Finished, she walked towards the door.
For a moment, she thought about going back to the ballroom and volunteering her services, but then stopped. The girls hadn’t seemed all that excited about her expertise, which confused her no end, as she’d gathered they wanted to win. Well, it didn’t matter. It was probably more important to find out what had happened to Toms and Rin, and see if they were all right. Where would the girls have taken them? Quilibet shut her eyes and reached out with the Force. Thank the Maker she’d sparred against Rin the day before and knew his Force signature. It wasn’t very far away, either, and she found herself in front of Master Sidatu’s door before she’d gone more than a few steps in the right direction.
She knocked, and was greeted by a cacophony of shouts for help. Overriding the lock, she burst in to find Rin and Toms sitting on the floor with their backs to each other, each trying unsuccessfully to free the other. It only took a few minutes for her to untie them.
„Girls!“Toms said in disgust.
„Yeah,“Quilibet agreed, seeing no betrayal in her words.
„Present company excepted,“Rin added and Toms nodded.
Quilibet gave a dismissive shrug.
„Let’s get ‘em!“Toms suggested just as the door slid open to admit Master Sidatu.“Let’s spray their beds with whipped cream! Let’s put raw hamburger in their boots at night and tie their braids to the bedposts! Let’s CASTRATE them!“
Jemmiah:
After leaving Rin and Toms, Quilibet wandered back towards the bar, ostensibly to look for Ambianca, but also because she didn’t quite know what to do next. But Ambianca was no longer there. Instead, Quilibet’s attention was caught by the only non-Jedi on the trip, Master Jinn’s ward. She was instantly recognisable by her mane of beautiful red hair. Quilibet crept into the far corner, but couldn’t stop staring at Jemmiah. Just at the moment, she appeared to be alone, no longer accompanied by Obi-Wan.
"If you must stare at me." Jemmy addressed the girl who was sitting in the far corner away from everyone. "Why don't you do it close up? Pull up a chair." She indicated a free seat next to her.
Quilibet froze. She hadn't thought she’d be spotted at all.
"Haven't you got a home to go to?" Jemmy asked in a sneering tone.
Quilibet got to her feet and slowly walked over to Jemmiah, then stood there awkwardly.
"I have no home," she said in a hurt voice.
"You have a master. Go back to her. She will probably miss you soon." Jemmy retorted.
"She's NOT my master!" Quilibet refused to listen. "My masters are dead! I won't accept Master Tenax! Everyone wants me to, expect it to happen…well I won't do it! I can't!"
Jemmy looked at her in surprise.
"Why not? Good masters are hard to come by. Why turn Master Tenax away?"
"Because if I do, she'll die. Just like the others…I just know it," she mumbled, wondering why she was talking like this to a complete stranger. "I don't want to take the chance of being the difference between life and death for her."
"Sounds like you are already fond of her, kid." Jemmy mused.
"I am not! And DON'T call me kid!" Quilibet felt her courage grow. "I'm only two years younger than you."
"That's a hell of a big difference in terms of living. Believe me." Jemmy eyed her curiously.
"What would you know?" Quilibet asked in an upset voice. "You know nothing about guilt."
"That's where you're wrong." Jemmy cut her off so sharply that Quilibet jumped. "I know everything about guilt. I feel guilt so badly that it seems impossible to go from one breath to the next on lousy days. You don't get over it." She added as her eyes softened slightly. "You do live with it. And to do that you have to trust people who want to help you, even though you don't want to. I've got the deaths of nearly forty people on my head and I've had it weighing me down now for over seven years. Know how I cope?"
Quilibet shook her head, stunned into silence.
"I live." She replied. "That is my punishment. Nothing will ever be good for me. My life has been ruined and spoiled."
She looked at the bar.
"And so I have to endure it all by way of penance. It's easy for people to say 'go see a soul healer. They'll sort your problems out.' But they've never lived through it like we have. So you see, when it comes to jinxes and killing people, I am public enemy number one."
Jemmiah regarded Quilibet carefully.
"I can't advise you what to do. Not like them. It would be wrong of me to do that. You stick to your guns if that's what makes you feel safe. Or maybe someone will come along and help you see differently." She watched the expression on Quilibet's face soften slightly. "See? I do understand, even if nobody else does. If you want to make sure your Master Tenax is unhurt, you go ahead and chose the safe route. But it's a very lonely road; I'm telling you. I'm still walking along it right now."
She stood up and brushed the crumpled fabric of her dress into order.
"And I don't recommend it to anyone. Talk to me if you want later on. Just get to bed now, kid. Whether she's your master or not, Romy will be worried about you pretty soon."
Moving quietly out of the bar, Quilibet heard the words echoing in her head. It’s a very lonely road...I don’t recommend it to anyone...
Was that really what she wanted? To be lonely the rest of her life?
No! Quilibet suddenly realised that she wanted to feel loved and appreciated, just like she’d felt when Master Rad had been alive. And Rom--Master Tenax wasn’t such a bad person. In fact, she was rather nice. So nice that Quilibet was struck by a fresh wave of fear for her, and more of Jemmiah’s words echoed through her head. I know everything about guilt...my life has been ruined and spoiled...guilt...weighing me down...
But she didn’t want that, either.
It was an awful situation and she had only just now become aware of it. It seemed that she was doomed to unhappiness no matter which way she turned. Everything that had been so clear before now seemed so murky. She wasn’t sure anymore of what she really wanted. How was she supposed to choose, how could she find the lesser of what appeared to be two evils?
But were they really two evils?
She barely had time to form the thought in her mind and then it was as though she were dreaming again. The corridor around her vanished, and she was back in the Temple courtyard, staring at the door that had just closed behind Master Nektanebos and Master Radjedef and was now filled with golden light. Time seemed to stand still for a moment, and she had the chance to look around. There was the deep pit where the funeral pyre had been, and there, on her other side, was Master Tenax, patiently extending one hand. Quilibet looked at her, feeling out with the Force, trying to find the answers--
--and was ripped abruptly from the vision. Gradually, she became aware that she had not only bumped into somebody while walking, but had continued to try to force her way through him to continue down the corridor. He’d placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, and was staring down at her with concern. Embarrassed, she stepped out of his grip, glancing up to see who it was.
„Quilibet?“asked Master Jinn.“Are you all right?“
„I--uh--I’m sorry--I didn’t mean to bump into you--I was--I think I was having a vision.“
„Oh?“He looked surprised. Quilibet felt surprised herself. She’d never heard of anybody else having a vision while walking down a corridor. Usually, if they came at all, they came as dreams, or perhaps during meditation, when one was in a safe kneeling or sitting position.
„But I--I didn’t--“her shoulders slumped and she looked away.“I don’t know what it was trying to tell me.“
„Then I must apologise for interrupting you at the most inconvenient moment,“Master Jinn intoned.
„Perhaps--it wasn’t an interruption?“Quilibet bit her lip.“Maybe it was the will of the Force?“
Master Jinn considered this in patient silence.
„You were going to tell me one day about how you decided to take Obi-Wan as your Padawan,“Quilibet heard herself saying.
„Yes,“he nodded,“yes, I was.“
„It’s late,“Quilibet objected, feeling suddenly that she had been much too forward.“I shouldn’t have asked--I have to get to bed.“
„I resisted at first,“Master Jinn said as though he hadn’t heard her weak protests.“I told myself that I should wait because the will of the Force was not clear. And then something happened that made me realise that I had been expecting all the wrong things and that, because Obi-Wan was who he was, they would not necessarily happen. And then, suddenly, it was easy.“
He nodded curtly, then walked on. Quilibet remained where she was for a moment, going over the words again in her mind, then nodded slowly to herself. Master Jinn and Jemmiah had both left her quite a lot to consider.
„Listen to the Force, Quils.“
Quilibet opened her eyes and looked around the room, but it was empty. She’d obviously slept late and Master Tenax was already up.
So who had spoken? She closed her eyes, trying to remember, and decided that the warning belonged to the scrap of dream about Master Nektanebos that she vaguely remembered. Except that Master Nek had never called her Quils. Master Rad had done that. Well, it didn’t matter. It had only been a dream, after all. Getting up, Quilibet wandered into the refresher and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her red hair was going to have to be cut soon, probably while they were still on Tildas. Was Master Tenax any good with scissors, she wondered? Master Nektanebos had been. She’d always cut Quilibet’s hair. Master Rad had only dared it once. Although he’d probably done his best, it had been painfully obvious that his talents lay elsewhere. Ever since then, Quilibet had gone to An-Darste, the fourth wife of Master Healer An-Paj. She had her own little studio in the Temple and cut the hair of a lot of Padawans, and knights and masters, too.
After showering and dressing, Quilibet knelt down on the thick pillow and closed her eyes, reaching out for the Force. She’d fallen asleep almost immediately when she’d come back to her quarters, and there hadn’t been time to think over anything that Jemmiah or Master Jinn had said. She reached into the Force, opening herself to it fully, and was surprised to find herself going deeper than she normally did. The Force swept through her quietly and yet powerfully, telling her to be ready, to be prepared, though she didn’t know for what, and yet bringing peace as well.
Listen to the Force, Quils.
The words echoed in her head as she came out of meditation, almost as though Master Rad had spoken them in her ear, and Quilibet opened her eyes, almost expecting to see him kneeling across from her. There was only a little pang of disappointment that he wasn’t there physically--it was almost as though she could feel his presence, softly retreating, and she felt grateful to have felt even that.
She’d meant to think about what Jemmiah and Master Jinn had said, but somehow, that didn’t seem important anymore. Instead, Quilibet had the distinct feeling that something was going to happen, something else completely. She didn’t know what, but it was going to be important, and she was determined to thank the Force for the warning by being ready for it. Standing up, she went to the dining hall for breakfast.
Master Tenax was just leaving, and flashed Quilibet a cheerful smile.“Would you like to join me in the library when you’re finished, Padawan Lyr? We could play Invaders before we land on Tildas.“
Quilibet considered this for a moment, and nodded.“Yes, I’d like that, Master Tenax.“
She ate a moderate breakfast, then went down to the library as instructed. Master Tenax was browsing the holo-net when she came in and smiling to herself, but shut it off when she heard Quilibet come closer.
„Ready to take on the old Battle-Axe, Padawan Lyr?“she asked.
„What, Master Tenax?“
„An old nickname.“She smiled.“I was just thinking about things this morning. Remembering how I got called Battle-Axe because of my name. Ten-ax. Battle-Axe.“
Quilibet couldn’t help smiling a little.
„Do you have any nicknames?“
She shook her head.“No. Just Quilly.“
„Not even Red?“
„Once I got some paint in my face and one of the boys called me Pink-Eye for a few weeks, but it didn’t really take.“Quilibet shrugged, then sat down abruptly at the double console to change the subject.“Shall we play?“
„Yes, let’s.“
They were getting off to a good start, so good that Quilibet completely ignored the captain’s announcement that the ship was coming out of hyperspace. The usual turbulence that followed was harder to ignore, but she didn’t dare take her eyes off the screen just at that moment. And then the Kaligari bucked so hard that Quilibet was knocked from her seat, and further bumps made it impossible to get up.
„What--?“she started to say just as the power went off and left them in complete blackness for three seconds, then flickered and finally went to the dull red emergency lighting. Quilibet looked up at the ceiling in amazement, and then over to Master Tenax. Before the master could speak, however, there was a dull clang that resonated through the entire hull of the ship.
„Pirates,“said Master Tenax grimly.“Have you got your light saber, Padawan Lyr?“
„Uh, yes, Master Tenax,“said Quilibet, standing up now that all was quiet.
„Come here.“
Quilibet took the few steps that led her to Master Tenax’s side, and the older woman placed a hand on her shoulder, looking down at her with a very serious and determined expression on her face.“Padawan Lyr, this is not a drill. This is what you have been training for, all your life. Open up to the Force. Let it flow through you and guide your actions.“
Listen to the Force. So the dream had been a warning. Quilibet nodded in acceptance.“Yes, Master Tenax.“
„If you lowered your shields, we could fight together more effectively,“Master Tenax said, then smiled a little at Quilibet’s confused expression.“It’s a request, not a command. It would just make things easier. Think about it. And come now.“
„Where are we going?“Quilibet asked.
„The pirates will have planned to send a team to the bridge, a team to the engine room, and at least one team, perhaps two with a ship of this size, to surprise the passengers and herd them into an enclosed space somewhere. We’re closest to the engine room. Let’s intercept that team or at least block their access to it.“
„Have you been in a pirate attack before, Master Tenax?“Quilibet asked as they went down the stairs.
„Yes,“came the clipped reply.
The small open staircase that they had chosen did not go all the way down to the engineering level, and they had to walk towards the stern of the ship, searching, to find a staircase that did. It was tucked away on the port side of the ship, right next to the inner bulkhead.
„They’ll shoot anything on sight,“Master Tenax said.“Be prepared for them to come at you from any direction. Don’t let them get into engineering.“
She had already drawn her light saber and ignited it, the yellow blade shining undiminished through the red emergency lighting. Quilibet powered on her own saber as her foot left the bottom step, and the humming sound seemed unnaturally loud in her ears as they marched purposefully towards the door of the engine room.
There was a shout, and then a volley of blaster fire came at them from a corridor that led down along the starboard side towards the bow of the ship. Master Tenax was already there, blocking the blaster bolts with her light saber, and Quilibet fell in beside her. They moved in unison, their blades flashing and crackling whenever they came in contact with an energy beam, deflecting them back the way they had come. The four pirates began to retreat back down the corridor. One fell, hit by his own blaster bolt, and another almost tripped over his body as he walked backwards, still firing his blaster.
It was like no training scenario she had ever experienced. She had become so used to the training droids that she hardly noticed them anymore except as a tool, and when the masters divided the padawans up into groups, they were still the padawans she’d grown up with, no matter if they’d dressed up as pirates and were shooting toy blasters with stinger beams at her. There was no animosity in those scenarios, no matter how fierce the padawan pirates tried to appear. But these--these were faces she had never seen before, radiating hatred and bloodlust and the occasional flicker of fear. It was a difference she had not been prepared for.
„Padawan! Back to engineering! They’re circling around!“Master Tenax spoke quickly, but clearly, and Quilibet dropped back behind her, then turned and began to jog back the way she had come. Seeing three pirates coming up on the door from her right hand side, she was surprised at first, wondering how they had gotten there so quickly, but then she realised that they were different than the ones they’d just been fighting. The group must have split up as soon as the ones in front had opened fire, and these had raced down the corridor on the port side of the ship, trying to gain access while the others formed a distraction.
The ship rocked and she almost stumbled, but recovered quickly. She could not let them get in, that was her directive, and so she gave a shout to get their attention. Two of the pirates immediately took up position in front of the third, one--a Whiphid--standing and one--a human--kneeling, both firing at her, trying to protect the Sullustan in back. He seemed to be ignoring the fight completely and was working on something in his hands. Blocking each blaster bolt as it came, Quilibet whirled her light saber high and low at superhuman speeds, relying on the Force to guide each action. She found that she was walking forward, one step at a time.
„Hurry, hurry!“the kneeling man panted, turning his head slightly, but still firing at her.
„It’s going as fast as it can!“the Sullustan replied, turning slightly. Instantly recognising that he held a data pad in his hands and was obviously trying to use a codebreaker program to open the door to the engine room, Quilibet deflected one of the shots straight to him. He dropped without a sound, knocked first against the door and then slumped sideways for lack of any other room. Going down, he grazed the kneeling man’s shoulder and knocked him off balance.
„Kriff!“shouted the kneeling man.“Get the code! Open that door! I’ll cover you!“
There was a scream from farther behind her, unusually high for a male, cut short by the boom of an explosion and the floor trembled beneath her. Quilibet did not dare look back. The Whiphid had lowered his blaster and was reaching for the data pad, which was now hanging from the data port of the door by a cable. The kneeling man had struggled to his feet and was now racing towards her, shooting as fast as he could in a random, vaguely circular pattern. Quilibet, still guided by the Force, was able to block or avoid every shot, and then the man was upon her, swinging the blaster at her head. She sliced it in two, then reversed direction almost instantly, and the blade of her saber slid cleanly through the man’s arm and into his chest.
They were close enough together that she could see the expression on his face change to one of surprise as the light drained from his eyes. He seemed to buck one last time, falling against her, and then Quilibet realised that he’d just been shot in the back by his own mate. The Whiphid had taken up his blaster again and was firing at her, the data pad clutched tightly in his left hand. Frowning, she pushed the human body away to one side and brought up her saber, deflecting the shot directly into the data pad. There was a slight explosion at the data port and the door to the engine room slid suddenly open.
The Whiphid jerked in surprise and his next shot went wild. Then he turned, ever so briefly, to take advantage of the opportunity, and Quilibet raced forward, using a Force-assisted burst of speed to catch him in the back with the tip of her light saber. He stumbled and collapsed to the floor, then pushed himself onto his side and rolled onto his back. Ever so slowly, his hand moved to his belt, pulling something square off it and clicking a button. As he raised his arm to toss it, however, his strength failed and his arm fell back onto his stomach.
Quilibet was already turning to run back down the corridor, having recognised that it was some kind of grenade. She was leaping nimbly over the second body when the shock wave from the explosion knocked her to her hands and knees. A moment later, pieces of the wall around the door rained down on and around her, the small splats of pieces of Whiphid also hitting the deck going almost unheard among the clatter.
„Padawan?“Suddenly, Master Tenax was there, bending down to give her a hand up.“Are you all right?“
Quilibet staggered to her feet and stammered,“He had--a grenade.“
„Yes. Mine did, too. I tossed it back at them using the Force.“
So that had been the first explosion. Quilibet started to nod, but was interrupted by Master Tenax holding up a hand.“Shh!“
There was a slight scuffling sound, and then a few clicks. Master Tenax began to walk, quickly and yet quietly, back towards the gaping hole that now led into the engine room. Ducking through it, she veered suddenly to the right, glancing up towards the ceiling. Quilibet felt the danger now, too, as she followed. Someone was in the ducts. The pirates had obviously decided on a two-prong attack. Master Tenax slowed for a moment, then took three running steps and jumped, skewering the ceiling with her light saber.
There was a loud scream at the same time as a blaster bolt came out of a nearby vent at such an angle as to graze Master Tenax’s shoulder. She twisted away in silent pain, and the scream died away to an eerie sobbing sound, followed by some scraping and thumping and more sobbing that made Quilibet’s hair stand on end. Another stray blaster bolt came through the vent, but this time it went in the opposite direction.
Clenching her teeth and obviously in pain, Master Tenax raised her light saber with her left hand and jumped again, making a second hole in the ceiling about forty centimeters closer to the vent than the first one. The agonized keening stopped immediately.
Glancing down at the blackened stripe across her shoulder, Master Tenax remarked through gritted teeth,“Some species just don’t take kindly to castration.“
Quilibet turned away, clenched by sudden nausea, and bent over slightly, her hands on her knees. Just before she was about to vomit, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder and a wave of soothing peace washed over her, calming both her mind and her stomach.
„Everything is all right,“said Master Tenax.“Everything is fine. Don’t fall apart on me now. Don’t think about what just happened. Just concentrate on the fact that you’re still alive and you are a Jedi. That’s all you need to know. You’re still alive and you’re still a Jedi.“
Swallowing convulsively and deciding she wasn’t going to be sick after all, Quilibet straightened up and opened her mouth to apologise, but was interrupted by a horrendously loud siren.
„What’s that?“she called out between the bursts of noise.
„Emergency evacuation alarm,“Master Tenax shouted back.“But let’s see if anybody here needs help!“
They hadn’t gone more than ten steps deeper into the engine room when the entire ship shook and lurched. Quilibet and Master Tenax were both thrown to one side, slamming hard into a piece of engine casing, and for several moments, Quilibet only vaguely registered everything that was going on--a drop in air pressure, the distant thudding sounds of bulkhead doors locking into place, the artificial gravity going off and then coming back on again.
The first thing she became consciously aware of was the sound of the captain’s voice telling them to abandon ship. Sitting up, she looked around automatically for Master Tenax, and found the woman sitting calmly next to her. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them just a moment later, before Quilibet had time to worry.
„There,“Master Tenax said with a reassuring smile as though she were just coming out of meditation. Putting out one hand for support, she stood up slowly.“Now come on.“
The first crewmember that they came to had fallen into his laser welder and was quite dead. Two others ran past them for the door, obviously injured and looking panicked. But the rest had picked themselves up and were resuming work on the great engines, trying to repair them enough to get the shields up again.
„Do you need--“Master Tenax began, as though inquiring in a friendly way if they wanted some help, but then, quite suddenly, she stopped. After a moment, Quilibet felt it, too, an indefinable sensation of danger--great danger.
„Get to the escape pods immediately,“Master Tenax said in that masterful, no-nonsense voice.
Several of the crewmembers spoke at the same time, but their words were all variations on the same theme.“No, I can repair this, I just need a few more minutes.“
„There won’t be time. You must come with me to the escape pods immediately.“
Master Tenax began to walk back the way they had come, but no one followed except Quilibet. She kept glancing back to see if anybody would join them, but they did not, and she felt herself being overwhelmed by sadness and regret. She almost turned to go back and pull them away from their work stations, to make them follow the Jedi, but Master Tenax put out her good hand and caught her by the arm.
„We are not responsible for the choices of others,“she said firmly.
Her words were accompanied by a wave of warm comfort and soothing peace like the one she had felt before, and Quilibet felt better immediately.
„I saw escape pods on the deck above this one,“she said, turning her mind to the task at hand.“Over here!“
Master Tenax nodded encouragingly and they moved across the corridor.
But the pods closest to where they were had all gone, and as they tried to continue to the next section, their progress was blocked by a bulkhead door that refused to open. Quilibet reached automatically for her light saber, ready to carve her way through, but Master Tenax stopped her.“It’s locked for a reason, Padawan. Let’s try the other side.“
The ship lurched every so often as they tried to make their way across. There had obviously been some kind of battle here; there were bodies and debris everywhere. Quilibet stumbled once and fell to her knees near the head of one of the bodies. With a gasp, she recognised the bread man, the one who had won five credits in a bet with the other crewmember about Jedi wake-up times.
„They are one with the Force now and feel no pain,“said Master Tenax.
Quilibet nodded and got shakily to her feet, trying not to look for the egg man, the one his friend had happily called Ee-jit. She found him anyway, and wished she hadn’t.
„Was it like this?“she asked quietly, looking away.
„Hmm?“
„The other time you were in a pirate attack. Was it like this?“
„Worse,“said Master Tenax flatly. In a tired-sounding voice, she added,“Now let us save our pirate stories for when we’re safe and sound somewhere else, shall we?“
She was silent for a moment, then added,“Do you know what my old master would say if he were here right now?“
„No.“Quilibet was surprised, both at the change of subject and at the note of obviously false cheer in Master Tenax’s voice.
With a wan smile, the older woman indicated the signs on two doors next to each other and quoted,“As long as we’re here, does anybody need to use the refresher?“
After Quilibet had shaken her head, quite seriously, Master Tenax nodded.“We should get on.“
But the going was difficult. The ship kept shuddering and rocking, and more than once, they lost their balance and fell to the floor. Once, Master Tenax landed on her injured shoulder, and Quilibet, hearing her gasp, was instantly aware of the pain it caused her. She gently tried to help Master Tenax up, but the ship shook again, throwing her on top of the older woman.
„Maybe if we stayed on our hands and knees?“she suggested.
Master Tenax nodded mutely, her facial muscles tense as though she were gritting her teeth, and they began to crawl along the gangway. It was easier to keep going like that, despite the movement of the ship, and if they did get knocked over, there wasn’t that far that they could fall. Quilibet looked back once and saw that Master Tenax was making good speed despite the fact that she had tucked her right arm up against her body and was going on three limbs. In this way, they reached the first cluster of escape pods, only to find that they had all been fired. Doggedly, they continued on to the next section. The first escape pod which they came to had apparantly been damaged. There was a small red light above the access switch, and when Quilibet pushed it anyway, the door refused to open.
„Next one,“said Master Tenax, coming up slowly behind her.“Hurry.“
But Quilibet was also aware of the Force telling her to be quick, and scrabbled along to the next access switch, preparing to move on if that door also remained shut. But it shot open, and she reached back for Master Tenax, guiding her in, then closing the hatch behind them. Feeling something tickling her hand, she looked down and saw that she had cut the side of it at some point and it was bleeding a little. There was no time to bandage it, though, so she simply wiped it on her tunic and went on.
„Can you pilot?“Master Tenax asked, slumping into one of the seats, but making no move to reach for the crash webbing.
„Yes,“Quilibet replied. She glanced again at Master Tenax’s injured shoulder, then reached over and pulled the straps, buckling them into the right places.“Do you want me to?“
The woman merely nodded, and Quilibet nodded as well, then strapped herself in and turned to the controls. There was a bump as the pod released itself from the main ship, and then they were spinning around and around as they fell away. Fighting down her nausea, hearing the words „don’t fall apart on me now“ echoing in her mind, Quilibet tried to concentrate on what the scanners were telling her. They were in a binary solar system...there were asteroid belts...she had to get them out of the asteroid belt...weren’t there any planets here at all...there was one...no, it was a gas giant...no point in heading there...where else could they go...where -were- they anyway?
The tiny escape pod pitched to one side as they collided with a small asteroid, and Quilibet lost her concentration for a moment. Gathering her focus again, she dragged her eyes away from the viewscreen and back to the controls, reaching out to the Force for help. She saw it on the scanner almost immediately then, the moon orbiting one of the gas giants. It was habitable. It had an atmosphere! Even from this distance, she could see that the clouds had not completely obscured the green patches of vegetation on the continents, or the huge expanse of oceans, which were a different quality of green. There were other colours, including the bright blue of a..lake!
„I shall--“she swallowed convulsively as the ship jiggled yet again--“aim for that lake--“
She had to pause before adding,“--Master Tenax.“
„Yes--“came the gulped reply.
Eventually, they reached the end of the asteroid belt. Without the constant bombardment, Quilibet found it easier to keep the escape pod steady. Her nausea eased, and she began to plot a trajectory that would bring them safely through the atmosphere of the small moon and as close to that bright lake as she could get without actually landing -in- it. Seeing other escape pods on her screen as well, all heading towards the moon at different angles and different speeds, she began to think that everything was going to be all right after all.
Eventually.
Quilibet missed the lake. She had set a course using the coordinates from the navigational computer, but the pod went right by it and headed instead for the east coast of the continent--and beyond. Not wanting to splash down and drop to the bottom of the ocean, she quickly punched in the override command and managed to pull up out of the approach for landing. Holding her altitude steady and quickly deciding to orbit around once and try again, she . Right then, of all the worst times, it had failed! Strangling a cry of frustration, Quilibet concentrated only on keeping the orbit stabile. They had entered darkness now and although her scanners showed her pictures of a continent underneath, Quilibet preferred to try it in broad daylight.
She was starting to feel the presence of panic in her mind, and worked hard to keep it at bay. It seemed forever until they had traversed the backside of the moon, an eternity until they finally came out into the light again. There! There was the continent ahead of her, according to the scanners. Through the clouds, she could see little patches of nicely green land and once even caught a glimpse of mountains in the distance. Eagerly, with uncharacteristic impatience, Quilibet began a slow descent.
The panic was getting closer now. Quilibet found herself dithering between wanting to search for that bright blue lake and wanting to turn her pod to follow the majority of the other escape pods on her screen. Reaching out to the Force, she was rewarded with an odd sense of sluggishness and, eventually, a whisper of an idea to turn her pod. She turned, but it was too late to catch up with them. Feeling her thoughts disintegrating rather too quickly into chaos, as though that one thing had drained out of her mind that had been keeping them together, Quilibet went in for a landing, suddenly afraid of staying up in the air where they could crash. She slowed too quickly, speeded up again too abruptly, banked too sharply, and felt the pod plow into the ground starboard side first. For a moment, they hovered there, leaning precariously, and then the pod’s port side fell to the ground with a bone-jarring thump.
Trembling all over, Quilibet sat there for a moment, staring dully out into the jungle that was visible through the viewscreen. She felt strangely cold and bereft, and eventually realised that something was missing from her mind...a warm, comforting presence...Master Tenax! Her movements jerky and uncoordinated, she fumbled her way out of the safety straps, then got to her feet and looked down at the older woman. Master Tenax hung motionless in the crash webbing, and Quilibet, working on sheer panic now, unbuckled her, then manhandled her out of the seat, placed her hands beneath the woman’s arms, and dragged her outside, hitting the switch to open the door with her elbow. But the overbright sunshine, fresh air and warmth did not revive Master Tenax. She remained as still as before, and Quilibet heard herself starting to scream. At first, it was high-pitched screeches of panic and fear, but then it changed in quality to a lower growl of anger, and she found that she was no longer screaming inarticulately. She was shouting words of rage.
„How dare you die on me! How dare you! What was all that talk about you wanting to see me become a Knight? I thought you wanted to! I was starting to trust you that you’d be there! And now you up and die on me! How dare you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!“
She stopped to draw a ragged breath and in that moment, she realised that Master Tenax’s chest was rising and falling ever so slightly. Reaching out, Quilibet put a hand on the woman’s neck and was rewarded with a pulse. A powerful feeling of relief hit her like a falling stone, and she began to cry, sobbing violently. The older woman had obviously been shielding Quilibet’s mind from the horrors of the pirate attack, keeping her calm all the time they were making their escape, because now that the influence was no longer there, Quilibet’s thoughts were anything but tranquil.
All the things she had seen and experienced came back now in her memories to haunt her, and when she remembered the way the pirate had slumped against her as the light drained from his eyes, and the look of the crewmembers who had once been so alive and were now so gruesomely dead, and the agonised keening of the wounded pirate in the vents, Quilibet retched suddenly. She vomited everything that was in her stomach and kept heaving even after there was nothing left to throw up, and then slumped down onto her side and continued to cry.
Eventually, the heaving and the sobbing ceased, and Quilibet just lay there, unwilling to be awake, but unable to fall asleep.
It was about half an hour later when Quilibet’s thought processes began to return to normal. She lifted her head and pushed herself up to a sitting position, then began to curse herself for a fool. Master Tenax had been injured, she was probably in shock even now, and people -died- of shock! She had to help instead of lying here like a sunbathing sloth! The only question was, what to do first.
Moving with an odd lack of coordination, Quilibet went back into the pod, bumping against things as she walked by, and began to sort through the emergency supplies. Here was a small pile of blankets, there was a large medical emergency box. Grabbing both, she staggered back outside, aware of pain in her back and in her hand but ignoring both. She unfolded one of the blankets and laid it on the ground next to Master Tenax. After a moment of consideration, she folded it in half, pleased to see that it was still wide enough. Kneeling down, she began to tug at Master Tenax, moving the woman a little bit at a time until she was completely on the blanket and more or less straight. Then she unfolded another blanket and spread it over the woman.
Remaining on her knees, Quilibet reached out and took Master Tenax’s hand, then closed her eyes and focused on the Force. It seemed much, much weaker than it usually felt, and there was a strange quality to it as well, a sense of something different. Putting it down to her own weakened, shocked state, Quilibet concentrated harder, willing the healing power into Master Tenax’s body, giving everything she had. There was no time to think about anything else, no chance to concentrate on anything besides what she was doing.
At length, she felt a sort of response, an odd kind of answer from the Force. Slowly, she opened her eyes and glanced down. Master Tenax’s eyes were open, too. Quilibet couldn’t remember ever having noticed them before, but now she saw that they were blue.
„Are you all right?“she croaked, coming out of the trance and feeling suddenly as though she had been pushing a great weight uphill for an indeterminate amount of time.
„I think I will be,“came the answer.“Thank you.“
Quilibet nodded acknowledgement, then sighed.“I should have put bacta on your shoulder before I used the Force. I’m sorry I’m not thinking straight right now. I’ll get some right away.“
She moved to reach for the med box, but Master Tenax kept a grip on her hand.“Quilibet. I really do thank you. I know it wasn’t easy for you to open your shields and bond with me like that, especially when you must have been frantic that I might die. I appreciate your sacrifice.“
Quilibet sat back on her heels and looked at her in surprise, then realised what she’d done. They had a bond now, a real master-padawan bond. She’d opened up and poured her soul into Master Tenax, and had gained a soul in return. She’d feared it for so long, and the vague thought flitted across her mind that she really should be feeling horrified at having done exactly what she’d been trying to avoid for so long, but in reality, it felt good. It reminded her of the time she’d built her own lightsaber and had put all the pieces together, clicked the casing into place, and had then ignited it. It felt -right-. Her subconscious must have known what she’d been needing all along and had simply taken over at the first opportunity. And she found, all of a sudden, that she didn’t mind a bit. In fact, she felt herself starting to smile.
„I’m glad you’re still alive, master,“she said.“Despite my...ineptness.“
„You’re anything but inept, Padawan,“came the reply as the woman gave her hand another squeeze.“You’re doing well, all things considered.“
Quilibet smiled back and in that moment, Master Tenax became Romy to her. Eventually remembering what she had set out to do, Quilibet let go and scooted the med box closer, then opened it. After a bit of searching, she found a small jar of bacta, then smeared some on Romy’s shoulder, feeling more than seeing the woman wince under her touch.“Sorry.“
„It’s okay.“
„Do you want a painkiller?“Quilibet managed a makeshift bandage for the older woman as well.
„Please, yes. And then I’ll sit up and do your back.“
„Are you sure, master?“The word came naturally to her lips.
„It’s just a little bump on the head. A mild concussion, maybe, but nothing too serious. Anyway, the old Battle-Ax can still move one arm, and that’s all she needs.“
„All right.“Quilibet gave her one of the painkillers. As they waited in comfortable silence for it to take effect, Quilibet glanced around, feeling suddenly tired.“This isn’t Tildas, is it, master?“
„No. I don’t know where we are.“A pause, and then Romy said,“The Force feels funny.“
„I thought it was just me.“
„I’m glad to know it’s not just -me-,“Romy grinned. Quilibet smiled briefly as well.
Eventually, Romy pushed herself up with her good hand and reached for the jar of bacta, then said,“Can you take your tunics off?“
Quilibet forced them over her head, the movement taking more effort than she remembered, then sat down with her back to her master. The touch of the bacta against her skin made her shiver, and she felt suddenly very tired.
„You’re in shock, too,“Romy remarked.
„I guess,“Quilibet replied dully. Maybe that was why her energy was suddenly draining away.
„Can you reach out and get that med box closer? I want to bandage this.“
Quilibet had to stand up in order to drag the med box to a convenient position, then sat down again and let her master put a large bandage over the skin below her left shoulder blade. As soon as she’d finished, Quilibet pulled her tunics back on, trying not to shake visibly.
„Now let me see your hand.“
Wordlessly, she held it out, and Romy cleaned it first with antibiotic solution, then smeared bacta on it. The cut went across the heel of her hand, halfway up to her little finger. She didn’t know why she hadn’t really felt it before, but now it seemed to hurt even worse. Her back was throbbing, too.
„All in all, I think we’ve come away relatively unscathed, but a little rest just about now would do us both good.“
„Yes, master.“
„Shall we try to creep back into the pod or stay out here in this deliciously warm sunshine?“
„Stay here, master.“Quilibet was already spreading out another blanket for herself, folding it in half as ground cover, then pulling the last one over her as she laid down on her left side and curled her arm under her head.
„Master?“She had to make a deliberate effort not to mumble.
„Yes, Padawan?“
„I’m glad you’re my master. And I’m sorry for--“Words failed her, and Quilibet made a helpless gesture with her bandaged hand to try to indicate the concept of everything.
„It’s all right, Padawan. I understand.“
Quilibet woke to the sound of snuffling and opened her eyes to the feeling of something moist and hairy poking at her hand. Sitting up with a cry of alarm, she saw a four-legged beast about the size of a large canoid gallop back into the jungle, right over the blankets where Romy had been sleeping. They were empty now, but it took Quilibet a moment to realise that Romy was missing, and another moment to remember her fledgling bond with the master and reach along it. Realising that she couldn’t feel anything except that strange background interference, she felt a touch of panic, which she tried valiantly to quench. After a moment, however, Romy appeared in the door of the escape pod, smiling down at her, and she relaxed and smiled back.
„How are you feeling?“
„Better, master. How long have I been asleep?“She glanced around at the jungle around them, and the gap that the escape pod had torn in the foliage, where they were currently lying. The sun did not appear to have moved very much, although it seemed as though they had been there a good while. The colour of the sky leaned definitely more towards green than blue, and clouds were coming up on one side of the horizon.
„A couple of hours, I think. I’ve just barely got up myself. It did us good, except for the fact that we both have a sunburn on one side. I don’t know about you, though, but I woke up with ants in my pants.“
Feeling the creepy crawly feelings that proved Romy was correct, and not just about the pants, Quilibet shot upright and began to strip off her clothes, wiping away small dark ants with every movement. She got bit a few times, but at last, she was free of the insects. She pulled her trousers and overtunic back on, just like Romy.“This wasn’t a very good idea of mine, was it, master, sleeping out here? I am sorry!“
„There’s nothing to apologise for, Quil. Anyway, it’s my fault. I felt cold and I wanted the warmth of the sunshine.“Romy came forward and began to shake out her blankets, then fold them up, and Quilibet did the same with her own.
„Do you want something to eat?“Romy asked, finishing the last blanket, putting it on the pile, then picking up all three at once.“I’m starving!“
„Me, too.“Surprised to find that she was no longer nauseous, but rather achingly hungry, Quilibet followed Romy back inside the pod, putting the blankets away where they belonged, then idly stomped on a few of the more adventurous ants which had preceded them inside. Romy opened the compartment marked Emergency Rations and began to rummage through it.“Hmm. Ration cubes, ration bars, ration drinks to be mixed with water...ah! Let’s try some of these.“
Using her left hand, she handed Quilibet a pop-n-eat tray, then took one for herself. There was a picture on the front that was almost obscured by a sticker proclaiming it to be a „FREE SAMPLE exclusively for the Chancellor of the Republic from Lookahsflimmer.“ In one corner, against a green background, there was a list of species for whom this product was guaranteed compatible, humans being topmost. Quilibet popped the mechanism that would heat the food and peel away the cover as soon as the contents had reached the desired temperature, and watched as Romy did the same, but then placed it on one of the benches and resumed her search through the cupboards of the pod. A moment later, she produced two cups, and Quilibet stood up to take one and fill it at the tiny sink.
The water tasted slightly stale, but Quilibet was thirsty enough not to notice until she’d drained the last drops and was halfway through her second cupful. In the meantime, her tray had opened, and she made herself comfortable on the bench, then reached for the spoon-fork that had also been supplied. It was warm, but not hot enough to burn, unlike the food.
„Ow! To-day must be crash and burn day,“she muttered to herself, taking a hasty drink to cool the burning on her tongue and then blowing on the spoonful of stew.
„You didn’t crash, padawan,“Romy said.“You landed the pod very nicely, all things considered.“
Quilibet smiled a little, but the smile soon faded as she remembered how she’d fallen apart and started screaming directly afterwards. Well, at least Romy hadn’t been awake to hear it. Embarrassed, she lowered her head, inhaling the aroma of the food, then trying her spoonful again.
„This tastes good,“she said, neatly changing the subject.
„It’s certainly better than most emergency rations,“Romy nodded. She looked at the lid again, then said,“Free advertising knows no boundaries, and for once, I’m glad.“
Then, quite suddenly, she stood up and searched the cabinet again.“Blast.“
„What?“Quilibet asked, fearing some catastrophe.
„There’s no chocolate. All those ants out there, just waiting to be dipped, and no chocolate!“
Smiling at Quilibet’s horrified look, Romy said,“We have to keep a sense of humour, padawan. It makes it easier in times of crisis.“
„Yes, master,“Quilibet nodded obediently. They ate in a comfortable silence for a time, with Quilibet trying to think of something equally funny with which to reply. Humour seemed to be eluding her, however, until she had finished the main course and moved on to dessert.“Master?“
„Yes, Quil?“
„You’ve, ah, got some chocolate pudding here in the corner of your tray. Shall I gather up some of these dead ants and dump them in for you?“
Romy looked surprised for a moment, then grinned.“I knew you had a sense of humour in there somewhere, Quil.“
„You did?“
„Yes, I did!“Romy asserted loudly, and then, in a slightly lower tone of voice, she admitted,“Healer Leona told me.“
Quilibet smiled around her spoon as she thought of Healer Leona, and Dimallie.“I wonder where they landed.“
„They could be anywhere,“Romy mused, scratching the side of the her stomach with her good hand.“Did you see anything on the scanner when you came in for a landing?“
Shutting her eyes briefly, Quilibet thought back to the rough journey.“Um...there were other pods...I tried to catch up to them...“
She let her voice trail off, the memory of her panicked landing embarrassing her, and scratched idly at one of the ant bites on her thigh.“There was another ship, too, a larger one.“
„The Kaligari?“
Quilibet hung her head.“I’m sorry. I didn’t stop to identify it, I was concentrating on landing. I’d set coordinates to land near a lake that I saw, but the pod missed it and would have gone right into the ocean. I had to override the navigation computer and do everything manually. I wanted to get closer to the other pods, but--I missed.“
After a moment, she whispered her confession.“I panicked. I’m sorry.“
„I failed you,“said Romy.“I knew you were close to panic, and I tried to buffer you through the Force, but I fainted before we were safe. I wasn’t able to remain conscious, it was as though...as though the Force ripped itself away from me and I wasn’t strong enough to hold on.“
„I should have been able to deal with my panic by myself,“Quilibet mumbled.
„Quil, you’re young and inexperienced--oh, listen to us! This is no time for self-recrimination. We did what we did, it’s happened, and it cannot be changed now. We should think instead about what we need to do right now and in the future.“
„Yes, master.“Quil tried to put the thoughts of her failure aside and let herself be distracted by the fact that she and Romy were both scratching now. The ant bites were not only itchy, they were starting to get a little painful.
„Well, we’re still alive and we’ve bandaged our wounds. We’re clear-headed after a good rest and a good meal, so I would say it’s time to see what’s going on around us.“Romy stood up slowly, still favouring her right arm a little, and slid stiffly into the pilot’s seat.“Our distress beacon is on--good. Anybody else out there?“
But no matter which channel she checked, there was only the crackling of white noise.
„Hmm.“
„Is it broken?“
„Jammed, I’d say. Or rather, interfered with, the same way as the Force. We’ll try again later and see what happens. In the meantime, let’s get out and scout around a little, see what there is.“
They left the pod and looked at the jungle around them. Here and there, they could see bright flowers against the darker green; white, blue, even purple. The vegetation was thick, but not so thick that they would have to cut their way through with lightsabers. Carefully skirting the downed trees in the swath that the pod had cut, Quilibet thought she saw a kind of track, and stepped out onto it. Yes, here was a footprint that was definitely not human, and she pointed it out to Romy.
„When I woke up, I saw an animal,“she said.“It was about this big, with four legs and a tail.“
„Did it have fangs? Tusks?“
„It had a wet nose,“Quilibet remembered, trying discreetly to scratch her behind.“It was sniffing my hand, but it ran away when I sat up. I don’t remember any tusks, but it could well have had fangs.“
„We’d better consider it dangerous until we know better,“said Romy, scratching her hip.“On the other hand, it could be this world’s equivalent of a juicy nerf.“
„It wasn’t as big as a nerf.“
„I was thinking more in the lines of meat, Quil. We don’t know how long we’ll be stranded, and there were only six of those delicious free sample meals. After that, it’s ration cubes, ration bars, and ration drinks.“
Quilibet had to admit that the prospect of a juicy nerf steak sounded infinitely better, even if they did have to kill it, skin it, and cook it themselves. She’d done that a few times, with Master Rad. It wasn’t so bad. In fact, the longer you’d been out in the wilderness, the better it tasted. Now, she and Romy moved slowly along the narrow track, and she found herself reaching out automatically with the Force, trying to determine what was out there and if there was any danger, but if anything, the Force seemed even weaker than before. On the other hand, the „background interference“ that had grated on her nerves before had also gone down a notch. That was good, but the lack of the Force was bad. She listened carefully to the sounds of the jungle and looked in every direction, wanting to make sure that nothing was about to pounce on them. It was a little scary, to be without the Force in an unknown, potentially dangerous place.
After about an hour of nothing but jungle, Romy stopped.“I don’t want to get too far away from the pod just yet. We still have enough water and food to last for two weeks, if not three, and once the door is closed, we’ll be safe from predators...and ants.“
Quilibet stopped in mid-scratch and they grinned at each other, then went back the way they’d come. To her surprise, however, Romy didn’t go into the pod again. Instead, she crossed the swath and looked carefully at the other side, then nodded.“Here’s where the track continues.“
Quilibet expected the jungle to seem the same on the other side, but it wasn’t. They were walking down a very slight slope, and once they were surprised by a brightly-coloured bird that swooped ahead of them and then went back up into the canopy. Eventually, they came to a pool of water fed by a small stream.
„Well, at least we won’t have to worry about water as long as we’re here,“said Quilibet, ignoring the slightly sulphurous smell. A touch of sulphur didn’t mean the water wasn’t potable.“And if we need to catch something to eat, we could just hide ourselves here and wait for one of those nerf things to come get a drink.“
Romy nodded, bending down at the water’s edge and catching some in her hand.“It tastes all right.“
Quilibet was thirsty, too, after the long walk in the warm jungle, and bent for a drink as well. It did taste all right. Farther out, an insect hovered close to the water’s surface and was suddenly swallowed by a fish, rising out and sinking back into the water.
„Do you like fish?“Romy asked.
„I’d eat it if I were starving,“Quilibet said.
„Yeah, me, too.“
They smiled at each other again.
Day 1, Hour 17
„It--!“Quilibet breathed, abruptly silencing herself even as Romy raised one hand. It worked! Her heart beating fast with excitement, she tried to calm herself and not even scratch her ant bites as she listened intently to the voice coming from the comm unit. The static was gone, the message loud and clear, and the contents were more than encouraging.
The Kaligari had crashed on the moon, but was still in one piece--well, more or less--and people--well, a few, anyway--were still alive there!
She grinned as the coordinates came through, and saw Romy entering them into the pod’s computer, which was also in fine working condition--for the moment.
„We’re not all that far away,“Romy mused.
„We could walk there,“said Quilibet. The thought of seeing other humans again was very inviting. More than inviting. She felt a sudden urge to scream in frustration because they weren’t there already, and bit it down with difficulty.
„Yes,“said Romy.“We just have to find a way to compensate for the times when the equipment does not function, and we could easily walk there.“
„I’d like to try,“Quilibet said, making her words sound mild and not desperate.
„Me, too.“Romy rested her chin on one hand, staring down at the computer.
“During the times when the equipment is working, we could use it to determine which direction we’d have to go. Then we could look for landmarks in that direction, and walk to them during the times when the equipment isn’t reliable...“she mumbled to herself.
Quilibet stood up and began to search the pod’s small supply of emergency equipment. She’d already found the blankets, the food, and the medical emergency box. There wasn’t much else. The pods were designed to keep people alive in space, not to equip them to slog through the jungles of uninhabited planets. There were no backpacks, no conveniently-sized water jugs, no fold-up mess kits that included pots or pans to cook in, and definitely no fire-starters. Well, she’d learned from Master Nek how to start a fire using only some dry wood and the Force, but boiling water without some type of container was something that not even the Caamasi master had figured out.
„We’d have to stay in one place when the disturbances are at their worst...hope we don’t end up on an ant hill...or in a leechy swamp...though Tihartien always told me that the leeches shared his own good taste...“
Quilibet shivered at the idea of blood-sucking leeches, then latched onto the unfamiliar name.“Master, who’s Tihartien?“
Romy raised her chin and looked first at the seat next to her, then craned her neck to glance behind her.“What?“
„You mentioned a name. Tihartien. Who is he?“
There was a long pause, and then Romy answered,“He was...my lover.“
„I’m sorry.“It was obvious by the past tense that he was dead. Quilibet remembered Romy’s words, the first time they had met. I know how hard it is to lose someone whom you love.
„It was a long time ago. Almost three years now.“Romy sighed.“I’ve gotten used to living without him, but I still miss him.“
Quilibet nodded her complete understanding, but something in Romy’s sentence had piqued her curiosity.“Was he a vampire, master?“
„What? Great Force, no! Whatever gave you that idea?“
„What you said...about the leeches sharing his good taste...I thought maybe...sorry, master.“
„You thought he knew why the leeches were so happy to flock to me, because he’d been sucking my blood and considered it tasty?“
Embarrassed, Quilibet nodded.
„What kind of holo-films did Master Radjedef let you watch?“
„What’s a holo-film, master?“
„Well, where else would you find out about vampires?“
„Master Rad told me some of the Caamasi legends. He said you could always tell a Caamasi vampire because it had only two fingers instead of three, and long, sharp teeth.“Quilibet lowered her voice a little, then continued, “And then we went to Caamas, and we met this Senator, and he only had two fingers...and long sharp teeth...and Master Rad had only been teasing me.“
Romy, who been listening more and more intently, looked surprised, and then grinned.“You! Well, Tihartien wasn’t a vampire, but he was a very good kisser.“
Quilibet wondered briefly if Zac were a good kisser, but decided she didn’t have much chance of finding out, especially not in the near future.
Romy scratched several of her ant bites in turn, then turned her attention to what Quilibet had been doing, and asked,“Well, what have you got here, then?“
„Emergency supplies, master.“
„Hmm. Nothing to carry water in, I see, and that would be our main requirement in this heat.“
„Yes, master, and nothing to cook in, either. I mean, you can kill an animal and drape slices of meat over a stick, then cook it over a fire...but it’s a bit hard to drape water over a stick and boil it.“
Grinning, Romy nodded, then glanced around.“Well, as for that, we could...yes! Let’s take this cabinet door out of the sliding track and then I’ll bend it with the Force.“
Quilibet watched in fascination as Romy removed the metal sliding door from the cabinet, placed it flat on the floor, and concentrated on it with the Force. One side of it bent up in agonizing slowness, and then Romy gasped suddenly.
„What is it?“
„It’s so difficult! To use the Force, I mean. It seems much weaker than it did.“
„The interference is practically gone, though,“Quilibet said.
„Yes. I’m not surprised this moon isn’t populated. Nobody could live under these ever-changing conditions!“She stopped, reconsidered, then added,“Well, not permanently, anyway. We can certainly live long enough to get out of here. Quil--would you mind...?“
„What, master?“
„Joining your Force strength to mine?“
Quilibet hesitated more out of habit than unwillingness, then realised what she was doing, and pushed away the defensive feeling.“Of course, master.“
The Force was much weaker than she remembered, but she could touch it, and joined her efforts to Romy’s. Working together, they managed to shape the metal door into a mostly square container with corners that initially jutted out, but then were painstakingly folded back. When Romy let go of the Force and pulled away, Quilibet felt strangely bereft, as though a comforting hand had been withdrawn from her back.
„Whew! There, that should be enough to boil water in,“Romy said.“Thank you, Quilibet. I couldn’t have done that on my own.“
Quilibet smiled.
„Now all we have to do is figure out a way to carry it.“
Quilibet did not doubt that they would. They were a team now. They could do anything.
Day 1, hours 19-22
„Let’s have a look at these water tanks,“ said Romy.
Finding the toolbox for emergencies, she set to work at removing the panels that disguised the water tanks that had been set in the sides and floor of the escape pod.
„Just as I’d hoped,“ Romy crowed excitedly. “Look! They’ve made several small ones instead of one big one, in case the tanks get damaged, so that they don’t lose all the water in and the Chancellor and his crew don’t die of thirst before they’re rescued. If we work hard, we could remove one of these and...carry it somehow...there are at least fifty liters in this smaller one, here.“
Fifty liters meant fifty kilos, plus the weight of the tank. Quilibet tried to imagine carrying that without the constant help of the Force, and sighed. After a moment, a picture came into her mind of two people walking, one in front of the other, each with one end of a pole on her shoulder, and the water tank dangling from the pole. She described the idea to Romy, who grinned widely.
„Good, Quil! You’ve got the makings of an excellent field Jedi.“
It took quite a lot of effort for them to remove the smaller tank from the wall and still keep most of its contents inside, but eventually, they managed to set it down on the floor of the pod. Grunting with the effort, relieved to be free of their burden, they sank down on the benches that lined the pod. The air was now scented with their sweat, and seemed even muggier than before.
„Whew! This gives me a new level of appreciation for those poor people who don’t have the Force,“ Romy panted.
„Yes,“ Quilibet replied. “That’s why non-Jedi invented pulleys and cranes and things. That was their version of ‘size matters not’.“
Romy laughed. “I like your sense of humour.“
„Actually, I got that from one of the instructors at the Temple. I’m not really all that humourous,“Quilibet shrugged.
„Well, whatever, but keep it up, anyway. A positive attitude is very important in conditions like these.“
There was silence for a moment. Quilibet glanced out through the viewport but again, it seemed as though the sun had scarcely moved, even though she knew that hours had gone by since they’d landed. It seemed like a whole day had gone by, in fact, and yet the shadows outside were not getting longer to show evening. If anything, they had become shorter, indicating that it was noon, or thereabouts on this planet.
„It should be night time,“she sighed.
„I get that feeling, too,“Romy agreed.“I’m ready for a rest, no matter what the time of day.“
Her stomach grumbled a little, and she placed one hand on it.“After a meal, of course.“
Quilibet perked up at the thought of another one of the delicious pop-n-eat trays, and her face betrayed her dismay as Romy reached for two packages of ration cubes.
„I thought we could save the good stuff for an emergency or a celebration, whichever comes first,“she explained.
„Yes, master,“Quilibet replied obediently, if unenthusiastically. The cube wasn’t exactly appetizing, but she forced herself to eat it slowly and let every bite linger on her tongue anyway. It was the feeling of having eaten something that counted, she told herself, and of course it was giving her body every nutrient it needed.
„Taste matters not.“
Surprised, Quilibet glanced up sharply to see Romy looking disgustedly at the remains of her own cube.
„Resistance is futile,“ Romy told the cube. “You will be assimilated.“
With that, she popped the entire thing in her mouth at once, chewed a few times, then swallowed. She reached for her cup of water and drained it, then exhaled loudly. “Blahhhh!“
Catching Quilibet’s confusion, Romy explained, “It’s dialogue from a holo game I’ve played a few times. It seemed to be appropriate for the situation.“
„Oh.“
„I could assimilate some chocolate covered ants right about now.“
„Me, too,“Quilibet agreed, then scratched a few of her more persistent itches and silently added ‘but without the ants.’
Activating the sun filter across the viewport helped cut down some of the light, but not all of it. However, Quilibet was fatigued enough that she soon fell into a deep sleep.
Day 2, Evening
His head didn't so much hurt as exist in a separate galaxy made of pain. When he opened his eyes light sliced across them like a...like a...like something he should definitely remember.
"Uuurrgh," someone moaned - a man's light tenor choaked and uncertain in the small, metallic room.
"Who is it? Are you alright?" His own voice startled him Is that me?. It was unnerving when your words came out in the voice of a stranger.
Slowly he shifted upright, the claws of agony easing their grip a little. There was no-one else in the shelter, so perhaps it had been himself, moaning. Perhaps.
He staggered up, the room dissolving for a moment into grey washed with weary red, and then he swept the walls with his hands. No, no-one was hiding in here; there was no space for even an invisible being to elude his search. He was alone.
Oddly, that felt wrong. It seemed to him that someone ought to be there; someone quiet, reliable, good at hiding, watching and silence. The lack of this imaginary friend hurt almost as much as his head.
In the polished durasteel walls his reflection was standing. It looked up and watched him as he approached, put out a hand and touched the surface just as he did. Is that me?
His fingertips examined the angle of his jaw - the man in the mirror doing the same. Hm...could be worse. Bronze hair, just long enough to curl. Forthright blue eyes, a little puzzled, but clear. The fine lines at their edges told him that he smiled a lot. He tried it, and the face settled into it comfortably.
Fourtyish, and good looking, in an easy-going way, like a man with nothing on his conscience. His skin was tanned, his body trim and his hands calloused. He pushed back the swaddling layers of his clothes and found toned muscle. Good. I do something out of doors, something strenuous.
Warm and clammy, blood dripped from his hair to the collar of his long, dark robe. It occurred to him that perhaps he should be frightened. Surely panic was natural in a situation like this?
A box beneath one of the benches drew his attention. When he opened it, he found bandages, a torch, a pad of something written over with the instruction "peel off and apply to wound". The cut in his head took two of these patches to cover, and the pain sent him to his knees, sobbing. Yet still, as if it simply wasn't there in his character at all, he did not feel afraid.
Outside then. The heavy door, round as a porthole, swung open on a view that filled him with joy. Far off mountains soared into an evening sky full of colour, white snow against indigo, a brilliant star, and the swelling bulk of a planet banded in lilac and aqua. Clouds trailed pennants of citrus orange above the solemn crowns of massive trees, and where the forest ended the new stars shone reflected from a lake like polished silver.
This is my homeland? he thought with satisfaction, No wonder I'm not scared. It's so beautiful.
The air was soft with moisture, and warm, but a fire would make this moment perfect. A fire would be the company he still felt he ought to have.
Gathering dead wood made him shaky, and when he bent down to arrange the branches over tinder something poked him in the thigh. A metal cylinder was hanging from his belt - the leather under the clip worn thin, as if he carried it constantly. Who knew what it was?
He held it out, away from him, and gingerly pressed the button.
Tttssssssshh! A rod of ivory-pale light sprang from his hand. Cool! Whuum, whuum... It hummed through his body as he moved it, and he felt blissful without knowing why.
A gesture sent the bone flame into the pile of wood, and instantly the fire roared to life. It's a firelighter. Brilliant!
Food could wait until tomorrow. The mere thought of it filled him with nausea. So don't think of it, think of something else. What have I learned so far? He was mature, fit, handsome, capable and happy - a good list - but it nagged at him that he couldn't remember his name. Hard to be a person, without a name.
Closing his eyes the movement of the fire made him think suddenly of children running, shrill voices laughing as he whined to the teacher "I can't find my tunic, miss."
"Did you sew your name label in, like I told you?"
"Yes, miss."
"Then find the tunic with your name in it, boy, and stop wasting time."
Could it be? Who knew? It was worth a try. He took off the heavy ebony cloak, but the lable inside said only "Master's size 1."
A master at something, hm? That's good - I'd hate to be an amateur at my age.
He pulled off his top tunic, the night's coolness something of a relief in the humid heat, and there it was. Old habits die hard. A name tag just under the collar. Relief loosened a knot of anxiety he hadn't realised he was carrying. I have a name. I'm a real person again!
Stretching out beside the fire he felt his stupid grin give way to a yawn. He had so much to be thankful for - his little house, the flashy firestarter, and a name.
Closing his eyes in deep content, Master Pure Linen fell asleep by the fire.
Day 2, hour 7 to hour 17
„Do you think it would be easier to use our lightsabers?“ Romy grunted, jabbing away at the blanket with a vengence. “Or maybe we should have cut up our tunics instead.“
Quilibet frowned. They had started their day by cutting down a small, straight tree about as thick as Quilibet’s fist and stripping it of branches and twigs. Now they were trying to slice one of the emergency blankets into strips, which they planned to make into a sling to hold the water tank to the tree trunk, but the material was proving strangely resistant even to Romy’s Bothan Army Knife.
„I’ll hold it taut, you draw the tip of your lightsaber down this line here,“ Romy suggested.
Quilibet did so, careful not to wobble, and the thin strip fell away from the rest of the blanket, leaving a distinct scorch march on the floor of the pod. “Hah!“
„Very good. Now down -this- line.“
When they’d finished shredding the blanket, they began to bind the water tank to the pole, but the finished product looked rather precarious.
„It’ll wiggle its way out when we walk,“ Quilibet said. “If we made a sort of net for it, then we could gather up the front end and the back end, and it won’t fall out. There’d be room for the pot as well, maybe even the rations.“
So they spent several hours tying the strips into a crisscross pattern, and tried again. This time, the water tank settled nicely into place and only bounced a little at each step. There was indeed room for their makeshift pot, and for the bundle containing all the rations that they’d found on board the pod, and even the medical emergency box.
„Well, looks like this is ready for our trek,“ Quilibet announced as they hefted it up for yet another test. Of course, it was getting heavier all the time, but she still felt confident that she could carry it--if they switched shoulders at regular intervals. Maybe she could find something to pad the ends with, so that the tree trunk did not dig too deeply into their flesh...
„Blankets!“ Romy nodded, as though hearing her thought.“We’ll need them anyway at night--we don’t know how cold it will get.“
They rolled one blanket around each end, and Quilibet glanced around for something they could use to tie them in place.
„Here,“ said Romy, running into the pod and returning again with a handful of clothing. She shook out one piece and Quilibet recognised one of the undertunics they had both abandoned in favour of running around in their tabards. It was just big enough that they could knot the sleeves together to hold the blanket to the pole.
„You never know when you might need a long-sleeved undertunic in the jungle,“Romy smirked, tying the other tunic to the other end.
„So, are we ready to go, or do we want to eat first?“ Quilibet grinned back.
„We could eat--that would lighten the load a little bit.“Romy unrolled the ration pack and picked out two bars. “Here, a hundred grams for you, and a hundred grams for me. That will make it so much easier when we pick it up next time!“
„We could drink all the water, too, that would definitely lighten the load.“
Romy grinned and gave her a friendly push. Quilibet staggered backwards a step, but grinned anyway. Her smile faded, though, as she looked down at the ration bar.
„Do you want me to see if I could catch something, master?“ she suggested, closing her eyes to see if she could sense something edible lurking near their camp. The Force seemed unusually strong--she hadn’t noticed it before, and for a moment, she was absolutely flooded with sensations.
„Well...“
„There’s something meaty in that direction and it’s watching out that it doesn’t run into something bigger...that must mean it’s good to eat...“
„I’m not sure I want to know all this,“ Romy grimaced.
Quilibet reached out with the Force to fix the location of the animal in her mind, wishing for a moment that she could make it stand still until she got there. She didn’t feel like chasing all over the jungle for a nerf steak. Pulling her light saber from her belt, she began to walk slowly to the edge of the clearing. The animal hadn’t moved, but it was radiating panic and fear as strongly as any laser beam. Quilibet could tell she was getting closer. As she moved deeper into the flora, she could feel the information reaching her brain as though she were watching an electronic readout that showed her proximity. She was also aware of Romy’s feelings and thoughts, not at all in the background. Her disgust at the thought of yet another meal of rations was coming through loud and clear, as was the way her mouth was watering at the idea of meat--but meat that appeared on a hygenic plate in the cafeteria, covered in a succulent sauce, not meat that had to be skinned and gutted and cooked first. And, quite suddenly, Quilibet became aware of something streaking in through her consciousness, a fireball of hunger and attacking instincts--and the Force signature of the animal exploded in a burst of pain and faded to darkness.
„What happened?“ Romy asked, when Quilibet returned to the pod.
„I didn’t know--I didn’t realise I was holding it in place--“ Quilibet stammered. The realisation had only come later, and she’d spent a few minutes in the trees, trying to process what had happened. “And--uh--something else got to it before I did--and it was all my fault!“
She felt ashamed because she’d knew she’d been indirectly responsible for the animal’s death, and also because she didn’t know if she would have felt guilty if she’d been the one to reach the four-legged meal first. She also couldn’t help feeling cheated as well, though she tried to suppress the feeling.
„Killing an animal for food is nothing to be ashamed of, Quil,“ Romy said. “But perhaps we should wait until we really need to, all right?“
Quilibet nodded and reached for her ration bar in relief. Supper was brief and unsatisfying, and as soon as she’d finished, she stood up in an attempt to distract herself. “Shall we get going, then?“
Romy glanced around, then grimaced, and even before she spoke, Quilibet knew that she was seeing something they both hadn’t noticed before; the long shadows disappearing into the dusk.
“Perverse planet!“ Romy growled. “Whenever we want to sleep, it’s still bright daylight, but now that we want to start walking, the sun goes down!“
Day 2 - Middle of the Night
Pure shot to wakefulness, heart pounding, every nerve alert. He found himself on his feet, the bar of ivory light active in his hand, long before he had time to think.
"Nnnaaargggh... Byyarhsssh, yyoooonahh..."
This time he was not imagining it. That was not his voice.
It puzzled him briefly why, in this emergency, he should have automatically reached for the firelighter. But all around him night pressed like the end of creation, and as he held the glowing stick aloft its cream radiance was the only thing he had to see by.
Of course - it's a torch too. He was momentarily awed by his own instincts. Somehow he had known, even while asleep, that he would need a light. You're a cool guy, Master Pure.
Welcome as the illumination was, it lit only his arm, the flattened grass where he had lain, a small circle of wilderness. He could see no-one. "Who is it? Who's there?"
Like an ancient radio station, poorly tuned, the sounds whined and fluttered, coming close to recognizable words and then falling away. It was eerie to stand in his column of light and hear that disembodied voice murmur in the darkness. Is this a normal thing to happen?
Pure stepped forward and began to search for the lost soul who moaned around his campsite. It had the timbre of a young man's voice, and he felt it was burdened with secret fears; it needed comfort and understanding. "Please, I want to help you."
A moment - the hairs stood up on the back of his neck - when it felt as if the invisible boy had actually invaded his mind, taken root in his brain like a parasite. "Ah! No!" He thrust out his hands as if to push the creature away, felt his mind do something, and the unseen presence was snuffed. There was silence, within and without, except for the fevered thud of his heart.
What just happened? Sick, cold, Pure paced one more circuit around his territory. Did it attack me? Or was it trying to talk?
He trailed back to the cabin and looked inside - "Boy? Invisible Boy? Are you there?" - and he felt oddly bereaved when it didn't answer.
Sitting down on the metal bench he thought about how lonely he was. How much he wished his friends would call round tomorrow, catch him up with who he was and what was going on. Maybe Invisible Boy would come back? Surely he will, if he needs my help? I'll be more ready for him next time.
The thought cheered him and he let himself be intrigued by the jumble of objects in the bandage box. What were all those colourful cubes? A yellow one looked particularly appealing - sunny in the darkness. When he picked it up he saw the wrapping said "Just add hot water."
A billy-can was squashed into a corner of the chest. He took it out and went carefully down to the edge of the lake to fill it.
Small, luminous fish made swimming stars in the shallows. The light Pure carried rose over the still water like a moon. Doubts assailed him again; was he the last man left alive after some cosmic disaster? Would he be alone forever?
But then the entire insect population of the world fell in love with his torch. Walking back to the campsite he was the centre of a mad, mass immolation of bugs. Windmilling his arms did not discourage them - they just danced out of the way and snuck back moments later to make another attempt at fiery suicide.
Stupid insects, he thought helplessly, watching the torch turn into a giant party sparkler. I have enough problems with Invisible Boy, I don't need your ghosts too.
But within five minutes the fireworks had ended - either the message had been received, or every gnat and moth in the clearing was dead. Impressed yet again he looked thoughtfully at the ivory rod. "You are some bug zapper. I think you need a name. Henceforth, you shall be known as Betty - the Bug Exterminating Torch Thingy.
He felt very happy to have finally given the thing a name, as though defining his environment gave him control of it. Where did that thought come from? I don't *think* like an outdoorsman, do I?
To celebrate he decided to add hot water to the yellow cube and see what would happen.
Rebuilding the fire seemed like a lot of trouble - his head still throbbed when he moved - and he wondered if Betty might have another use. Carefully, he introduced just the tip of the beam into the cold water.
Because he was prepared for an explosion he was able to leap back, jerking the thing away before all the water vaporised. "Wow."
It took a little while before the remnant went from superheated to merely hot, and he passed the time by examining Betty in awe. "This is the most useful piece of camping equipment ever. I wonder if anyone's patented it. I could make a fortune..."
Tearing the wrapping off the cube was a major undertaking. His fingers didn't seem to have any strength, and he couldn't stop them trembling. In the end he wrenched a small sliver of plastic off with his teeth - which immediately became stuck behind a molar.
He looked at Betty, speculatively.... No. Not a toothpick. Then he poured the hot water all over the cube.
It expanded like the night-time eruptions of some fungii - vaguely disconcerting to watch. Will you look at that!
When it had finished growing he poked it tentatively with a stick. It made a squeaky noise, and radiated a sickly lemon smell.
Food! he thought, pleased, and broke off a small piece to try. But it was like eating lemon scented cardboard. Oh. Not food.
The texture was firm, slightly yielding, full of small holes. The realisation came to him suddenly, it was just like the foam padding on top of the benches in the cabin. How thoughtful of him to include an inflatable pillow in the box.
The night seemed quiet - no sign of Invisible Boy. Lying down and pulling his long cloak over himself, Pure laid his aching head on the warm, perfumed pillow, and resumed his interrupted sleep.
Day 3, hour 2 to hour 3
It was dark when Quilibet woke up, both in the pod and outside. Without even having to reach for the Force, she became acutely aware that Romy was already awake and sitting at the control console. Lifting her head to look, she realised she couldn’t see much of anything.
„Good morning, Padawan,“ Romy said quietly, turning on the lights.
„Good morning, master,“Quilibet. After a quick trip to the on-board refresher, she came and sat down next to the older woman. It was still hot in the pod, despite the fact that temperatures were supposed to drop at night.
„Shall we open the door for some fresh air?“ Romy asked.
„What, and let all the ants in, master?“
„I think ants sleep at night. I’ve certainly never noticed them moving around when it’s dark.“
„Maybe that’s because they’re black?“
Romy giggled, then stood up and opened the pod door. “With the Force as strong as it is, I think we’ll sense anything coming.“
„As long as it’s larger than an ant,“ Quilibet muttered. The Force did seem to be unusually potent this morning. The background interference was strong, too.
„Keep your lightsaber handy, just in case.“
Quilibet caught the utility belt that Romy tossed to her on the way past their bunks, and buckled it around her waist. Sitting down, Romy switched on the scanners. “Ah, they’re working again. There’s the Kaligari, clear as day. Hmm.“
„Hmm what, master?“
„How long has it been since the last time the equipment worked this well?“ Romy checked the chrono and did some calculations, then said, “About thirty three hours, by my reckoning. I know it’s too soon to establish a pattern, but we should be prepared for it to take another thirty-something hours. Of course, on the other hand, there are so many unknown factors...it might be much less than that, there might be fluctations.“
Quilibet sighed. “Are we going to sit here all day and wait for a pattern to emerge?“
„Well, it’s either that, or go for a walk in the dark.“ But Romy sounded more encouraging than doubtful.
„We’ve got glow-rods, haven’t we? There, back there, I put them in the drawer under my bunk.“
„I was thinking torches myself.“
„Well, what are we waiting for?“
„Patience, young padawan. What does the Force tell you?“
Automatically, Quilibet reached out, and experienced the Force-ful equivalent of a smack on the head. “Ow.“
„Ow, what?“
„Master, you know how all initiates beg the Force to give them patience, right now?“
„Yes?“
„I got it.“
She didn’t have to see Romy’s grin--she could feel it through their bond. After a few minutes of silent mirth, however, they joined up and began to survey their surroundings. There were lifeforms out there; some sentient, some pathetic, and some obviously asleep. But there didn’t seem to be any acute danger, as far as they could tell.
„I think the Force is telling me to have breakfast first,“ Romy murmured as they lighted upon the hungry consciousness of a predator stalking its prey.
„Sounds good to me, master,“ Quilibet agreed. Before she could stop it, a picture of a bowl of Yoda’s gruel flashed into her mind, and Romy broke the link abruptly.
„Not -that- kind of breakfast!“ she protested. “I’m not that desperate yet!“
„Bars or cubes?“ Quilibet sighed, reaching for the rations.
„Cubes this morning, I think.“
They made quick work of the meal, even though Romy insisted that they both drink four cups of water from the tanks on board as well. Then she left a message in the pod’s log, just in case the rescuers found it before they found them, and they gathered up their equipment, the glow rods, and the water tank hanging from the tree pod.
„Into the bushes,“ Romy announced, checking the direction on her portable scanner and then marching forwards.
„Into the bushes,“ Quilibet repeated, ducking to avoid a low-hanging branch.
They set off.
Day 3, hour 3 to hour 8
Romy and Quilibet soon fell into a rhythm of walking for about half an hour, then switching their burden to the opposite shoulder. It was very dark in the jungle. There was no moon--planet, Quilibet reminded herself--or any other light for several hours, and she experienced several jolts as Romy, who had taken the lead, walked into things every so often. Branches and vines snagged at them from all directions, and progress was slow. The water container seemed to become heavier with every step.
They walked for several hours, until the interference finally caused the scanner to become useless, and then they sank down to the jungle floor, sighing with relief that the heavy burden was no longer boring into their shoulders.
„We need a fire,“ Quilibet announced.
Romy groaned a little, but they both stood up and began to look for dead branches lying on the ground or anything else that looked like it would burn. Quilibet helped clear a space for it, and within minutes, they had a comforting blaze. Staring into the flames, Quilibet was suddenly reminded of the days she had spent with Master Nektanebos before her death four years ago. She hadn’t thought of it for quite a long time now, the way the heat of the fire and the movement of the flames had been a comfort to her . Lately, she’d only been concentrating on her sense of loss and her fear that yet another master would be taken away from her. But there was Romy, very much alive, on the other side of the fire. It looked like everything was going to be all right from now on.
„Well, before the scanner gave out completely, it said we’d managed about ten kilometers,“ Romy sighed, glancing irritably at the thing and then tucking it away again.
„That doesn’t seem like very much,“ Quilibet replied, still staring at her with a sense of wonder and gratitude.
„It’s not. The flora here is really slowing us down. I was hoping that we could find another way to navigate whenever the scanner wasn’t working, so as not to waste so much time, but I think we’ll have to get out of this jungle first, or up to some higher land. I can’t see enough of the sky through the canopy to even find a star to follow.“ Romy stood up and found the makeshift pan in the net, then balanced it on two of the burning sticks in the fire and added a measurement of water. “Just for the sake of variety, I think we’ll cook our food to-day.“
But the resulting mush was even less appetizing than the cubes had been. Quilibet moved the food to the back of her mouth, trying hard to swallow before she could taste it, and tried to leave a generous portion left over for Romy, but the older woman insisted that they divide it equally. It was another reminder of Nektanebos. They’d only had a few rations after the crash, and Quilibet had tried to give them all to her injured master, but Nektanebos had insisted that she eat them instead, as she was the one who was being active and needed the calories. On that mission, they hadn’t had a food analyzer with them and Nektanebos had forbidden her to eat the native fruit lest it should poison her. One of the first things Quilibet had done after the funeral was to get her hands on one of the small devices. She had carried it in an adapted belt pouch ever since, subconsciously determined never to be caught unprepared again.
„Oh!“Quilibet exclaimed loudly, standing up.
„What?“ Romy asked, leaping to her feet in alarm readiness.
Quilibet opened the pouch at the back of her belt. “I just remembered, I’ve got a Critic. Let’s see if we can’t find any fruit or roots or something--anything that would taste better than these cubes.“
„A what?“ Romy asked, taking her hand away from her lightsaber and coming over.
„A Critic! You know, the Species Specific Digestibility--“
„--Analyzer, yes, I know,“ Romy finished. “Where on Alderaan did you get one of those? I didn’t think they sent padawans of your age off to the field?“
„I asked Master Rad to requisition one for me,“ Quilibet said. “After Master Nek died.“
„Oh?“
„I thought--at the time--that maybe she wouldn’t have died if she’d had more to eat, more energy to replace what she’d used up through the Force, trying to heal her own injuries, stay conscious, tell me what to do--“ Quilibet stopped, glancing away, then made a helpless gesture with one hand.“I didn’t want to be unprepared again--most of the time, I forget I’m carrying it around with me--it’s just part of my belt now, you know.“
„Oh, Quil,“ Romy said, enveloping her in a spontaneous hug. Quilibet hugged back as Romy breathed,“Thank the Force for small favours.“
Eventually, Romy broke the embrace. “Come on, let’s go find some fruit. Maybe there’s some variety of wild kalona growing around here.“
„Ugh,“ Quilibet groaned. “I’d rather find some dillarberries.“
„We don’t have any sour cream.“
„Sour cream? Yuck! Sugar’s the only thing for dillarberries.“
„Sour cream, sour cream, sour cream,“ Romy laughed, and Quilibet laughed with her.
Shining their glow rods up every tree and bush, they wandered away from the fire. Quilibet reached out to the Force automatically, hoping that it would guide her to a a source of ripe dillarberries. Instead, she was rewarded with an acute sense of danger.
It all seemed to happen at once. Quilibet didn’t remember igniting her lightsaber, but was aware of the blue glow illuminating the jungle around her. She knew that Romy was back to back with her, protecting her from behind with her own yellow blade. There was a flash of movement, a different quality of darkness against the darkness, and Quilibet went down on one knee as she defended herself against the attack, opening the way for Romy to spin around and slice over her head. Something barrelled into her, knocking her backwards with its momentum, but Romy held her balance, and after a moment, Quilibet powered down her lightsaber and stood up, wriggling free of the stinking corpse.
„Looks like something was defending the dillarberries,“ Romy said, looking at the three large pieces of the vicious quadruped which had fallen to the jungle floor at Quilibet’s feet. They had each sliced it completely through. “Are you all right, Quil?“
„I’ve lost the Critic,“ Quilibet wailed. She glanced around, easily spotting the lumination of her glow rod where she’d dropped it, then grabbed it up and began shining it erratically along the ground. “I’ve lost it, I’ve lost it!“
„Don’t panic, Quil, it’s hardly grown legs and walked away. It must be here somewhere. And even if we don’t find it, we won’t starve. We’ve just had a steak dinner drop into our laps.“
But Quilibet’s anxiety did not start to ebb until she had actually found the Critic a few steps away, and then relief poured over her like a waterfall as she picked it up. As she tucked her glow rod into the crook of her elbow and checked the functions of the small device, something in the beam of light caught her eye, and she looked again.
„Master--“ she said quietly, aiming the glow rod for a better view.
„Are you hurt?“Romy asked again, coming closer, but then, seeing what was visible in the small circle of light, she cut the question off abruptly.
Day 3, Hour 8 to Hour 16
At first, it seemed like a tender scene. A young man was lying on the ground, his head cradled in the lap of a woman, who was leaning back against a tree. The woman was dressed in Jedi robes, the man in the uniform of a waiter from the ship. But it was quite obvious that they were both dead. Coming closer, unable to tear her eyes away, Quilibet discovered something else, too.
She recognised the woman. It was the one with orange hair, the one who’d been in the conference room when she and Olrin had gone in for sparring, the one who’d knocked her down and called her a kid.
„Oh, Sara, this is not the way it was supposed to end,“ Romy said in a pained tone of voice. After a moment, she reached out and put a hand on Quilibet’s shoulder, sending her comfort through the Force.
„Did you know her?“ Quilibet asked. The spell was broken, she was able to look away now.
„Sara Tencourt,“ Romy said quietly, then sighed again. After a moment, she said, “She was a Jedi...sort of. No. It’s rude to say that. She was a Jedi. She was younger than I am, and I didn’t know her well, but I heard things. She had--a harder lot in life than most Jedi, but she made it to knighthood, and she never went over completely to the--well, she came back, anyway.“
„Then we should give her a Jedi funeral, don’t you think?“ Quilibet suggested quietly, blinking hard.
„Yes...“ Romy said doubtfully. “We’d need to find an open space, though, or we’d set everything on fire and we’d be right in the middle of it.“
Automatically, they both began to shine their glow rods around, looking for a clearing, but the jungle here was just as thick as the part they had just come through. They discovered the escape pod that the two people had used, but even the swath that it had cut was too narrow and surrounded by foliage of all kinds.
„The only clear space is over there, where that river is,“ Quilibet said, trying to keep her voice steady.
Romy glanced over to where the dark water dully reflected the light of the rod and sighed, then suddenly, her face lit up.“We could build a barge, put it out in the middle, and set it on fire. That would be safe--well, safe enough. Quilibet.“
„Yes, master?“
„Are you all right with this?“
Quilibet stopped and looked at her, then felt her carefully schooled expression crumple as tears flooded her eyes. “No...“
Romy gathered her into her arms for a hug and waited patiently until Quilibet managed to choke out, “I don’t know why I’m crying, master! I didn’t know her! I only ever saw her once on board the ship and she was really mean to us--she called Rin a fresher-brush-head and she said I was stupid and a kid--and now she’s dead, and I don’t know why I’m crying, I just don’t know!“
„You’re crying because you’re a Jedi,“ Romy replied. “Because you revere life in all its forms and the death of any living thing diminishes you.“
„Well, I’m not crying for that steak supper back there!“ Quilibet still managed to sound indignant through her sobs.
„The joys of protein outweigh the sorrow you feel for its death?“ Romy asked.
Quilibet smiled a little through her tears. “That protein tried to kill me. I acted in self-defense.“
„Or maybe you’re feeling my regrets? That I’m sad that Sara was killed just as she was coming back to the Temple and starting over? That she never had the chance to live a happy Jedi life like the rest of us?“ Romy was crying now, too.
„Yeah...and maybe because I don’t know who that young man is--was--with her, and he looks so young and now he’s been cut off in his prime, and by--by the way they’re laying there, they look like they were friends and--and maybe they could have had a future together and it just seems so sad...“
They held each other and cried, both of them feeling sorry for what could have been, and now would never be. Romy reached out for the Force for comfort, trying to ignore the background interference, then extended it to Quilibet. The girl caught it eagerly, revelling in it to such an extent that Romy had to smile, and then her tears were over.
„Come on,“ she said eventually. “Crying won’t bring them back. I should know. I shed enough tears for Tihartien that he should have been able to float over from the other side, but he never took my offer. Never mind. Let’s get to work.“
„What was he like?“ Quilibet asked, drying her eyes on the front of her tabard, then stuffing it back into her belt.
„Tihar? He was always cheerful, always smiling. You could almost always hear laughter in his voice. I never figured out how he could do that so consistently--even when he was at the Healers. And he was tall--very tall. I used to like to walk behind him so that I could look at his long legs.“ Romy smiled wistfully.
„Taller than Master Jinn?“
„Yes, but just a little bit. Now come on. We’ve got to find some trees or branches that are just about this big around.“
They moved their camp first, though, setting a fire closer to the second escape pod, and also shutting the carccass of the steak-dinner animal inside so that it wouldn’t be disturbed by carrion creatures while they were busy. Then they worked for many hours in the humid darkness, slicing down suitable trees and stripping them of branches. Once, they disturbed a nest of small creatures, which went racing away through the jungle with loud cries. When they had five, they stripped the escape pod of blankets and began to tear them into strips the way they’d done the day before, and lashed the trunks together to make a crude raft.
„We need an anchor or something,“ said Romy. “Something to keep them from floating off downstream and running into a bank with an overhanging tree.“
In the end, they decided that a rope on either side of the raft, tied to trees, would hold it in place long enough if the ropes went under the water. There was more cutting and knotting. Quilibet was starting to feel fatigued and hungry and absolutely filthy with sweat.
„Master?“ she asked tentatively.
„Yes?“
„Would it be very sacriligious if I had a bath in the river before we set it on fire?“
Romy did not hesitate. “No, of course not.“
„Are you sure? Because they don’t allow people to walk through that courtyard back at the Temple if they’re not using it for funerals.“
„I’m sure. We haven’t put the raft in the water yet, so it’s just an ordinary river. Anyway, it’s appropriate to get cleaned up before funerals, so come on.“
She began to strip off her clothes. “Do we have any soap, by the way?“
Quilibet found a tiny bar in the pod’s equally tiny refresher and handed it over, then got undressed herself and followed Romy into the cool water. It felt good to be washing off the sweat and grime that had accumulated over the past few days. It was lighter now. Quilibet could see a huge gibbous moon in the scrap of sky visible from the river--no, she reminded herself, -they- were on the moon and this was the giant planet above them, giving out a pale light. She glanced around at her surroundings and suddenly realised that Sara and the young man had unfortunately died facing the river. Instantly, she felt very awkward, being naked in front of them. There was no reason to feel strange about it, she told herself. They were dead and didn’t care. But she couldn’t help feeling glad that their eyes were shut. She really didn’t want to think about how she’d feel about bathing if their lifeless eyes had been pointed in her direction.
As soon as she could, she got out again and raced over to the fire, feeling relieved to be behind them so that she could dry off and get dressed again without that sense of impropriety.
„Can you push the raft in?“ Romy called from the water. “I want to tie it in place before we start.“
Quilibet heaved the raft into the water and Romy swam with the one rope over to the other side of the river, then knotted it in place around a small tree while Quilibet did the other side. It bobbed gently in the current, just visible above the surface of the water.
„How are we going to get them on?“ she asked as Romy was getting dressed.
„We’ll have to levitate them over,“ Romy said grimly.
They piled the stripped branches high on top of the raft first, though, and set them on fire, making sure that there was a fine blaze roaring that would not go out. There was no other pious way to do it, Romy had decided. Then turned their attention to arranging the corpses on top of the remaining blanket. Rigor mortis had set in and and it was difficult to get the the stiff bodies into a halfway decent position where they wouldn’t fall off. At last, however, Quil and Romy managed it, however, and levitated the entire pile over to the flaming raft, settling it carefully on top lest it should slide off. It was hard work. The Force seemed to be less powerful than usual, just as it had been when they’d first landed.
Eventually, the blanket caught fire, then the clothes, and then the bodies, and the stench of burning flesh filled the air. Quilibet felt tears come to her eyes again as the smell reminded her of Master Rad.
„The Force knows you, both of you,“ said Romy beside her, addressing the funeral pyre. “Be one with the Force now.“
After that, they stood in respectful silence.
Day 3 - Hour 19.
There was a slurping sound. Pure wondered if he should care - after all, he'd know if it was eating him, wouldn't he? The agony in his head made that a less than rhetorical question. The headache had compressed into a pressure of bone on bone which made him feel as if his face was about to explode. But there was, perhaps, a sharp white pain which was new.
He opened an eye and met the amused orange gaze of an electric-blue lizard. In the bright combined light of moon and glaring planet, the colour combination did not help his head one bit. It was not made better when the creature shot out a long, cerise-pink tongue and lapped up something blindingly, almost luminously yellow.
"Whaaa...?" He turned his head with an odd *squishy* sound. A gob of citrine liquid slowly oozed from his hair onto his cheek. Gradually, it dawned on him that his head was lying in a puddle of lemon-scented sludge. His pillow had dissolved during the night.
"Aw .......!" But he couldn't remember any curse words. Wiping his cheek he struggled upright, shaking the goo from his fingers. Where was that wrapper? There should have been some kind of warning about this.
He had just worked himself up into a nice state of indignation when he found it. There was indeed something else written there which he hadn't seen in the night. It wasn't a warning. Instead, in letters he hadn't been able to read by torchlight, it said "Instant Lemon Meringue."
Pure stood up suddenly, and his head split - or the world split; two right hands holding two incriminating packages telling him that he wasn't really coping with this at all; two twin lizards opening their little pink jaws and laughing at him. You're seeing double, Pure. This is not a good thing.
His legs felt wobbly, and he couldn't breathe as he laughed and sobbed, both at once. Who am I? Why isn't there anyone to help me?
When he lifted his head mountains pushed the gleaming steel of their summits into his eyes. Forest was a great sighing silence around him. The lake lapped coldly against the pristine shore, and no-where was another human voice. He was hurt - hurt badly - and completely alone, and he couldn't pretend this was fun any more.
Staggering under the weight of misery, Pure's legs gave way. He curled himself up, rested his throbbing head on his knees and wept - gathering from the broken, raw sounds that he had not cried like this since he was a child.
Despite the bright moonlight, the quiet of night-time lay over the clearing. As he sobbed he could not help hearing it. It stilled him, and he let it take the desolation away, releasing despair with a skill that seemed practised. Gradually he stopped making the sounds, lifted his head a little and heard peace, relaxing into it like a habit.
Unmoving, the pain of existence become irrelevant, he felt in the tranquillity the echo of a small voice. Invisible Boy?
Had he not been so calm and receptive he did not think he would have heard it - so faint it was. But now it shook the surface of his mind like a leaf dropped in water. If he turned his head he could sense the epicentre of the ripples - the tug of another presence; the promise that somewhere in the world someone was waiting for him.
Yes, Pure straightened with new determination. If you can't come to me, I'll come to you. Hold on IB and I'll find you.
It hadn't just been emotion which weakened his legs. When he finally struggled upright his whole body was shaking. Lights danced behind his eyelids. How long was I unconscious? How long since I ate? Or drank?
He needed food, now, before he set out on a hazardous journey, and one thing was certain - he was not eating any of those food cubes. Not after what they'd done to his hair.
Wobbly, but determined, he built up the fire again, lit it with a flick of a button. Then he took the billy-can back to the lake. Impatience gnawed at him. He wanted to follow the faint tug across continents; to find his imaginary friend now. But the idea persisted, that Invisible Boy might need his help. If I am to be of any use to him I must take care of myself.
First he washed the hardening yellow gunk off his head, pleased to find that the wound had closed, but perhaps a little worried by the fact that when he pressed it the bone moved under his fingers. Nothing I can do about that.
By the white moonlight, and the gold coin of the round, full planet, he could see a scattering of rock pools around the shelving edge of the lake. There the glowing fish swam jauntily beneath a floating lawn of weed.
Shallow water. Shallow, enclosed water. Pure frowned, thinking. You could eat fish. He was almost sure of it.
"Come on, Betty to the rescue!" Thumbing her on he plunged the bone-pale rod into the nearest pool and leapt away before the flash of steam could take the skin off his hand.
When he staggered back there was no water left, only the par-boiled bodies of at least 15 finger sized fish, steaming in mud, and a handful of eye-stalked purple slugs almost as rubbery as the meringue.
"Sorry," he said as he scooped them into the billycan. "I'm sorry - I had to."
It didn't look at all appetizing, but he put it on the fire anyway. Maybe some herbs? A few vegetables? If he was a native here he must know what was edible. It was simply a matter of allowing his instincts free rein.
He wandered into the forest, doing his best not to think, plucking whatever leaves took his fancy. Some of those nuts too, and a couple of the whey-blue fruit.
Returning, he added all the ingredients and lost himself in a reverie, watching it boil. Very therapeutic, stirring the glooping liquid with a stick. The mere smell strengthened him.
At last he levered the can out of the fire and dug in. Oh! This is amazing! He could feel the calories and proteins fueling him, like a starfighter with its engines powering up. And the taste!
Stew. What a marvellous, marvellous thing it was. It warmed him to think that, when they met, he would be able to offer this to Invisible Boy. He so much wanted to share the joy.
As he ate, Pure pondered the dreams he remembered from last night. Three men had featured strongly in them. Two of them - The Warrior and The Sex God - seemed obvious archetypes, created by his mind to embody something he couldn't vocalise. But if that was so, what was he to make of Small Feet Man? Especially as Small Feet Man seemed to have a furry, egg-laying mammal glued to his head. Pure did not want to imagine what Small Feet Man might be an archetype of.
When he had finished his meal he washed the can and packed it with things from the Useful Box. Then he made a bag for it out of one of the many pointless pieces of material which seemed to decorate his outfit.
Of course, he thought briefly - with a surge of happiness at finally doing something - They might not be archetypes at all. They might be memories. Those might be people I know.
Then he laughed, set off into the forest, giggling. No way! No-one has a life that strange!
Day 4, Hour 3
„Quilibet, quick, wake up.“
Quilibet opened her eyes. In the light of the fire, she could see Romy bending over her, and croaked, “Master? What is it?“
Romy indicated the scanner in one hand. “The interference is waning. We can get in a good long walk to-day before it disappears again.“
Quilibet sat up, glancing automatically towards the river. The pyre had apparantly burned itself down to a few scattered flames across the raft. They’d stood reverently for one hour, and had then turned away and lit their own little campfire to cook the meat. In silence which came both from respect and from sheer exhaustion, they’d eaten and then settled down for a long rest. Feeling the lingering effects of that exhaustion, Quilibet pulled on the Force for help, but got nothing, and eventually remembered the way the Force fluctuated on this moon. With a sigh, she stood up.
After a quick breakfast of half a ration bar each and several strips of cold meat, left over from the night before, Romy and Quilibet took up their burden and began to walk. Romy looked back towards the river once or twice, before they left it behind them, but it was more than an hour before they finally shook off the last remnants of funereal feelings. And then, quite unexpectedly, there was music.
„Pastime with good company, / I love and shall until I die.“
The first few notes startled Quilibet immensely, coming as they did without warning, but once she became aware that it was Romy singing, and not some siren trying to lure them to their deaths, she found herself enjoying the song.
„Gruch so will but none deny, / So Force be pleased, so live will I. Join in, Quil!
„I don’t know that song.“
„What? For my pastance, hunt, sing and dance, / My heart is set,“
„I said, I don’t know that song.“
„To my comfort, all goodly sport, / Who shall me let?“ Romy finished, then turned her head and looked back at her. “You don’t know that famous song by King Trenery the Eighth of Sceotan?“
„No...but I know a song about King Trenery the Eighth...“ Quilibet ventured.
„Well, let’s hear it!“
„Um...“
„If you’re worried about your voice, Quil, just remember that I’m not a wild animal and you won’t scare me away!“
Very hesitantly and softly, Quilibet sang the first line. “I’m Trenery the Eighth I am, Trenery the Eighth I am, I am!“
To her surprise, Romy joined in. “I got married to the widow next door, she’d been married seven times before!“
„And every one was a Trenery!“
„She wouldn’t have a Mirry or a Tam!“
„No Tam!“ Romy’s “Tam“ was cut off abruptly as she got a leafy branch in the face, but she had soon removed it to join Quilibet in the rousing chorus, and then she sighed happily. “That’s a great song. I love it. Do you know any others?“
„No, not really.“
„How about this one? Good King Trenery went out on the Feast of Steven, / When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even,“ Romy tried.
„I only remember the first verse,“ Quilibet said. “Do you like to sing, master?“
„Yes, when I get the chance. Don’t you?“
„One of the boys once said I made that same low grunting sound as an angry tauntaun.“
„Just because you sing alto? Is that boy still alive?“
„Yes, why?“
„When we get back to the Temple, I’ll challenge him to a lightsaber duel and slice his kneecaps off!“
Quilibet giggled.
"So come on, join in, and we’ll sing the night away.“
They sang until they stopped to change shoulders, and then Romy, shining her glow rod around, ran over to a tree and plucked a perfectly round, yellow fruit from it. "It's a pity I'm not on holovision, but I can still get a Golden Globe award anyway."
"Don't eat that!" Quilibet cried, grabbing for her Critic and a knife.
"What? Don't tell me it's a thermal detonator in disguise?"
Quilibet sliced a section from the succulent fruit and dropped it into the analyser tray.
"Worse," she said, looking at the readout. "Diarrhea detonator. And that's only the beginning."
Reading the results upside down, Romy threw the fruit away in disgust and sank down to the jungle floor. "Fruities, fruities everywhere and not a bite to eat!"
Day 4. One o'clock in the morning.
Finding himself under one of the ferny trees with the pastel blue fruit Pure stopped for a break. It had not been too hard, pushing through the jungle. He had followed one of the small streamlets which fed into his lake and which seemed to be going in roughly the right direction. Any undergrowth which got in his way Betty saw off easily, and though his feet were wet they were cool.
In fact at the beginning it had been such fun sploshing up the river that he hadn't been able to stop laughing.
Now, though, he was getting tired. The exhilaration he'd experienced directly after eating his stew had worn off and he felt itchy and dispirited. Something was missing from his life.
Colours were disorienting here in the jungle. The moon was bright, but the planet, sinking, cast a dull umber glow over everything behind him. All the trees cast double shadows, and when the leaves moved the weird patterns of light made his head swim.
He heaved himself out of the stream and the scent of fruit enveloped him. Yes! That was what he needed. That was what he needed right now. They practically fell into his hands - globes as pale as the moon, with absurd little blue hats where the stalks connected, and the seeds visible as white flecks inside.
He'd finished the first before he even tasted it, seeds and all. With the second he had time to savour the crunch and the slightly bitter, salty flavour. After the third the taste had begun to revolt him, and he could not stuff any more in. So he tossed the fourth to the luminous fish which swarmed in the shadows of the tree's roots. Instantly they went into a feeding frenzy, twisting and circling in the dark water. It was like watching the birth of a small galaxy.
With an uprush of astonishing joy, Pure realised that these fish... these fish held the secret of the universe. If he only watched for a little longer - if he could only get a little closer. He found himself lowering his face to the water. Look at the way it rippled! Wow, that was fantastic!
Raising his head to breathe, one of the trees beckoned to him. The trees were talking to the fish! Of course, that made sense. And now the trees wanted him to follow them.
Picking a few more fruit to take with him, Pure began to turn from his path, sure that he was about to discover the meaning behind all things. Only...
It was an irritation like the flies. What about Invisible Boy? Heartbroken, Pure looked pleadingly at the tree who'd spoken to him. "I did kind of promise to find Invisible Boy. He needs me."
The tree bowed to him, understanding. As he set off again up the stream he caught them smiling when they thought he wouldn't notice, and he felt glad that he hadn't abandoned his mission, and that they honoured that.
Pure felt much stronger now, and strode out for several hours, noticing how the stream was overhung by many of the Pastel trees, and how the little glowing fish clustered under each. It's a symbiotic relationship, said the educated voice in his mind and he laughed at himself. What a stupid way of saying that they helped each other.
The light changed, and so did the sounds. It grew eerily silent, and the orange tone of the sky died away. Above the trees a point of whiteness arced slowly over his head.
Something about the way the lights moved made Pure feel odd. He looked up; saw the leaves circle, or the sky circle. Two sets of shadows, no, four. There was time enough for him to notice that he was seeing double again before the world went away in one long moment of perfect contentment. He certainly didn't hear the splash as he collapsed in the middle of the stream.
Day 4, Hour 6-23
Quilibet and Romy walked for hours, until the scanner’s readings were no longer reliable, and then they set up camp, ate their ration bars, and laid down to sleep. The sun was just rising, the jungle was becoming lighter around them, and Quilibet pulled a corner of the blanket over her face. When she woke up again, it was full daylight, but cloudy.
„It’s going to rain soon,“ Romy said, handing over a ration cube. “We’ll need to find shelter.“
„I dreamed I was flying,“ Quilibet said. “Up there, above the treetops. I could see everything. And Master Nek and Master Rad were both with me.“
She stopped, wondering if it bothered Romy to hear about her other masters, but the woman smiled reassuringly. “I don’t mind, if you don’t mind hearing about Tihartien occasionally.“
„No, of course not,“ Quilibet answered hastily.
„You’re just burning with curiosity, I know. Yes, I have some holos of him at home in my room. Now you’ve got a handsome man to look forward to when we get back.“
Quilibet smiled and fell into an embarrassed silence, wondering how Romy had known what she was thinking.
„I can feel it,“ Romy explained. “The Force is very strong now. I’ve never felt it so strong. I can almost read your thoughts--no, don’t panic. I’m trying not to.“
Quilibet reached out ever so slightly and found a picture of a stern-faced Yoda in Romy’s mind, and they both quoted him together. “Do or do not, there is no try.“
Finishing the well-known admonition, they burst into laughter. Then Romy said, “You know, that’s a good idea, flying.“
„You mean, levitate ourselves with the Force?“ Quilibet asked, catching the picture with no effort on her part at all. “But how would we know which way to go?“
„I thought I could levitate you up and you could look around first, see what’s there. If there’s nothing, we could try to build a shelter here before the rain comes. If my calculations are correct, it will be more than thirty hours before the scanner works again.“
„All right,“ Quilibet said.
„Do you trust me?“
„Yes, master,“ she replied instantly, without even thinking.
Romy smiled and Quilibet was hit by a wave of emotion, mostly relief, carrying with it the memories of rejection bordering on cruelty, of patience and hope, and a strong sense of gratitude that everything had changed. She stopped and stared at Romy in shock.
„Oh, master, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise what I was doing. I just wanted to protect myself, I didn’t know I was hurting you!“ She felt almost nauseous with regret and found it hard to meet Romy’s eyes.
„Quil, it’s all right. I wasn’t exactly a little ray of sunshine after Tihartien died, either. Master Yoda wanted to take me to Dagobah, I was so bad.“
Quilibet’s eyes widened at the threat. “And did he?“
„No. I went to a refugee camp on a planet in the Middle Rim. They asked for a Jedi to help protect what food they could get. I used to march up and down with my lightsaber to scare the bandits away. Actually, I’m not sure whether it was my lightsaber or my face--“ Romy frowned in such an exaggerated way that Quilibet laughed, “--but the bandits only tried a few times. Aside from that, I ended up helping everywhere I could; helping to prepare food, serve it, dig latrines, take care of the orphaned children, and sometimes even dig graves. One day the Council asked me to come back, saying that another Jedi needed to be there instead. And on the way home, I realised that I was all right again, and had been for some time. I’d just been too busy to notice.“
„That sounds like a good thing,“ Quilibet said. “Maybe the Council should have sent me there.“
„The Force moves in mysterious ways,“ Romy said, “but for sheer mysteriousness, nothing beats the Council!“
They laughed again, then Romy stood up. “Right. Ready to fly?“
„Ready!“ Quilibet leaped to her feet as well.
„Got your life support suit in case I accidentally send you into orbit?“
„Master!“
„All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.“ Romy put out her hand and Quilibet felt a small tidal wave of the Force lift her up, narrowly missing an overhanging branch of a tree.
„Sorry!“ Romy called out. Quilibet looked down, enjoying the sensation of dangling in mid-air. Master Rad had never done this. Master Nek had, occasionally, as a trust exercise, but only in the gymnasium, and not this high up.
„Can you see anything?“
„Just trees, master, I’ll have to go high--“ the rest of Quilibet’s sentence changed to another register as she suddenly shot straight up like a laser blast,“--ERRRRRR!“
„Sorry! I’m having a little trouble with my fine motor control, it seems. How’s that?“ Romy’s voice was loud and clear, even though she was so far away. Quilibet suspected she was using the Force to make her words audible.
„Can I have that life support suit, master? I’m in orbit now,“ she called back teasingly, doing the same.
She sensed Romy’s grin as the master called back, “What can you see?“
„Mountains over that way!“
„And?“
„There’s a small river there!“ Quilibet pointed and saw the tiny Romy figure turn its head.
„That’s the way we came.“
„Oh! Well, there’s a larger one over that way!“
„And?“
„And the rest is just jungle as far as I can see!“
„I’m going to swing you around in a small circle. Hang on.“
Quilibet leaned forward into the wind as she began to move, and scanned the greenery below.“Stop! Yes! I see something--stop, master, STOP!“
„Sorry!“
„Can you swing me back a bit?“
„What is it?“
„It looks like a building.“
„How far?“
„Not very far. About three hundred meters.“
„You’d better come down. I’m having a little trouble controlling the Force and I don’t want to drop you!“
Quilibet’s descent was quick, then slow, then quick again, and she made a bone-jarring landing on the floor of the jungle. Romy’s concern came flooding over her as the master raced over, and she sat up shakily.
„Oh, kriff, Quil, I’m sorry!“
„It’s all right. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.“
„Can you walk? You didn’t break or sprain anything?“
Although she was trembling all over, Quilibet managed to get to her feet. “I’m fine.“
„Which direction was that building?“
„Uh--over there.“
They crashed through the undergrowth until they found it. The first raindrops were starting to fall as they ducked into the open doorway.
„Ugh, what a stench!“ Quilibet exclaimed.
„So this is where smelly socks go when they die,“ Romy muttered. “Either that, or something’s using this as a lair.“
„Most wild animals are afraid of fire,“ Quilibet remarked.
„Well, let’s light one, then, and hope that it’s not one of the few that isn’t.“
Day 4. Hour 17
Something was pulling at his hair. It felt like a hundred tiny hands. Drowsily, Pure wondered why fifty tiny people would be yanking at his head while he slept. Mind you, after the dreams - all those bizarre beings in brown cloaks - nothing would surprise him again.
How had he managed to fall asleep when he was so wet? He could feel the weight of water pulling his boots off as he scraped forward across the ground. The taste of blood was thick in his mouth, and as he roused a little he realised he must have bitten his tongue.
Hold on. Confusion as he tried to grasp something important. I'm moving. How can I be asleep and moving at the same time?
He opened one eye, just in time to be slapped in the face by a fern. As he blinked an outbreak of chittering sounded from all around him. Trying to raise his head, Pure saw what looked like a brown fur rug surrounding him on all sides. Now that he was more aware, he could feel the tiny claws of their hands making pinpricks through every inch of his clothing.
Small furry animals. I'm being carried through the jungle by small furry animals. Is this normal?
He still couldn't remember. Shivers crawled along his spine. His nose was thick and his wet clothes cold against his skin. Perhaps I'm dead, and this is some kind of surreal afterlife, for those who can't remember what they're being punished for?. Were you allowed to have a headcold in Hell?
"Aah-Choo!"
"Choo choo choo choo," a hundred tiny voices squeaked excitedly around him. It was hard to tell, but they seemed to be dragging him in roughly the direction he wanted to travel. Relaxing a moment, Pure noticed how careful they were with him. He noticed too how much he hungered and thirsted for more fruit. Surely the strength of that urge was unnatural - almost as painful as the still soft wound in his skull.
He tried to sit up, but the movement hammered a spike into his head. There was a luminous mist behind his eyes. His body trembled and he clamped his teeth tight to stop himself from throwing up. "Nnnaawh!"
"Aw!" the furballs murmured, patting him all over with respectful gentleness, "Aw, aw, aw."
Yes, this certainly is slightly strange.
Pure considered his options. If he could stand upright he could fight them off, but if he lost it would be catastrophic. Even if he won he might be injured, and he would still have to walk. It's nice to be wanted, even as some sort of pet. No, there really was only one sensible course of action.
Not taking time to wonder whether the creatures were meat eaters, Pure relaxed in their claws and went back to sleep.
"Choo choo choo choo." The carpet of vampkis bore the injured Master carefully over the forest floor.
Day 4, Hour 24
Quilibet and Romy cleared a space on the floor of the room by shoving the debris aside with the sides of their boots, and Quilibet reached inside the carry-net as Romy continued her sweep. She’d picked up some of the excess wood before they’d left the site of the funeral pyre, just in case, and now she blessed her foresight that she didn’t have to go out in the pouring rain in order to produce several sticks of kindling. Soon, she had a good fire going, and they sat down on opposite sides of it to eat their ration bars. The room was filled with the pleasant sound of crackling flames, and the not-so-pleasant whoosh of the rain from outside. There was a door, a heavy wooden object, which they left in its half-open position so that the smoke could escape.
As they ate, they took the opportunity to glance around. The room was rectangular, though only half as big as it had appeared from the outside, and there was a door frame in the inner wall. Quilibet stuffed the rest of her ration bar into her mouth, then stood up and walked through, curious to see what was on the other side. Here, the heavy wooden door hung from only one hinge, and she could see a metal bracket in the wall by the frame, obviously meant to hold a great wooden crossbar. There were also steps going up, which she followed, emerging at the top to a wonderful view of the low clouds in the surrouding jungle. Aside from four massive columns holding up the roof, and a waist-high wall connecting them, there was also an enormous cement bowl on a squat pillar in the middle that looked sooty and was obviously meant to hold fire.
„Quilibet?“ Romy had come up behind her and glanced out as well. “A guard tower?“
„But what were they guarding, out here in the middle of the jungle?“
„Perhaps it wasn’t a jungle back then.“ Romy walked around the roof and glanced over each section of the wall, but there was nothing below that caught her interest.
As they came down, a regular line on the floor caught Quilibet’s attention, and she walked over to it, scuffing away the remains of time with her foot to excavate a large rectangle of grooves in the floor. There was also a depression close to one end, inviting fingers to reach in and pull. Quilibet did so, and with a mighty creak, the panel came free.
„Master!“ she called out in excitement, then sneezed once. “A tunnel! Look!“
Indeed, there were steps leading down into the darkness. Romy ignored the putrid scent as she leaned over and stared down, trying to make out how far the steps went and what else was down there. A quick scan of the Force showed no sentient life forms, for which she was grateful, but the thought that silverfish, among other things, were not exactly sentient and could therefore be down there in droves made her repress a shiver.
„I’m getting a glow rod,“ Quilibet announced, jumping up and racing into the next room for one. Romy followed more slowly and accepted the piece of equipment that Quilibet extended to her, tucking it to her belt, then cautioned, “Let’s send down a torch first and make sure there aren’t any poisonous gases or anything.“
They made a torch from one of the precious pieces of dry wood, and returned to the opening in the floor. Tying the end of the torch to a length of thin cable from her utility belt, Romy lowered it down carefully down, and they both watched intently to see if it were snuffed out suddenly. The steps seemed to go down quite a ways and the end was not in sight.
„What do you think is down there?“ Quilibet asked. Romy had never seen her looking excited before, but now her entire face was lit up.
„An underground public transport system that didn’t run on time. The population of the planet died of impatience while waiting for the next train.“
Quilibet laughed, then reached for the cable and pulled the torch up. Detaching it, she placed it in her left hand and took her lightsaber in her right. “Not that my name is Curious Quil, but I’m going to go find out.“
„Not by yourself, you’re not.“
„Well, come on, then, what are you waiting for?“
„Winter Solstice?“ Romy tied the end of the cable around the panel, then began stringing it out. “All right, this will lead us back if we get into trouble.“
„Good idea, master.“ Her stomach quivering with excitement, Quilibet started slowly down the steps, holding the torch in front of her.
„That’s what they pay me for,“ Romy muttered, following her with a glow rod in one hand and her lightsaber in the other. She counted twenty steps before Quilibet stopped, running her fingers over something in the left hand wall.
„Look, there’s something written here. What do you think it says?“
„‘Kilroy was here’,“ Romy quipped.
Quilibet threw her an exasperated look, and Romy tried again.“Exit?“
Day 5, hour One.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with 't'." Ambianca looked at him hopefully. Turning to him for emotional support because there was no one else.
"Tree." Garos said, grudgingly, hoping that would be the end of the conversation, but she only laughed as if she'd made a joke and motioned for him to take his turn.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'm'."
"More trees!" Her smile was determined but brittle, and he felt annoyed with her for being so fragile, so dependant, and so very much stuck with him.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'a'."
"Another tree." This time her smile faltered, becoming a brief rictus of misery before compressing into a pout that he was beginning to learn to dread. "This is so stupid, Garos. I'm so bored, and my hair looks like string. My clothes are filthy, I smell and I need the bathroom."
A rustling noise in the bushes below, and Garos gave her the irritated grimace which he thought of as 'number 4, severe warning.' "I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'g'."
"Green trees?"
"No. Great big hairy ape monster."
"Ah," she said, "I see your point."
Day 5, Hour 1
Two more steps, and then there was smooth floor. Quilibet said,“Look, the bricks are different.“
She clipped her lightsaber onto her belt, then placed her hand flat against the wall and shut her eyes. Reaching out to the Force, she was rewarded with a wealth of information about the object she was touching. “It’s a tunnel meant for going under a city wall. The guards in the tower see the enemy coming and light the signal fire with special oil and leafy branches to send up lots of black smoke. That tells the guards on the wall of the city to close the gates, and then these guards come down here and run as fast as they can into the city to help defend it.“
„What city?“ Romy asked. Quilibet could feel her fascination and a touch of regret that she did not have that particular talent in the Force.
„I don’t know, but let’s find out. Come on!“ Quilibet moved away so fast that her torch flickered, and heard Romy behind her, jogging to catch up.
„Slow down, the enemy is -not- coming after us,“ Romy cautioned, and Quilibet reduced her speed reluctantly.
„They made prisoners dig these tunnels and do the masonry,“ Quilibet said as she strolled along, running her fingers along the bricks and picking up impressions through the Force. “But when the tunnels were finished, the prisoners were executed so that they couldn’t escape and tell what they knew.“
„That’s sad, but it makes sense,“ Romy replied.
„Nobody knew but the king and the guards, and they had to swear to keep it a secret.“ Quilibet stopped, laying her hand flat against the bricks again. The Force swirled around her, and she took a moment to sort out the information it was giving her. “They also used the tunnels in the other direction, you know...the enemy was camped outside the walls of the city, trying to get in or else starve the inhabitants out. One night, the king sent half of his warriors out through the tunnels and they surrounded the enemy from behind while the other half were up on the walls. Just before dawn, they attacked from both directions. It was a massacre--thousands of bodies.“
„So the siege wasn’t successful?“ Romy asked.
Quilibet hesitated. “No, not this time. I think ... later ... the enemies did manage to lure them out of the city, though.“
„And then?“
„I don’t know. The Force isn’t showing me that part.“ With a sigh, Quilibet took her hand away from the wall. “I think they must all have been killed eventually.“
„Everybody?“
„We haven’t seen anybody since we’ve been on this moon,“ Quilibet said. “The guard tower had been deserted for a long time. And the tunnels haven’t been used for hundreds of years, I can feel it.“
She walked on a bit slower than before, then thought of something exciting, and speeded up again. “I wonder how much of the city is still intact. The kings were very rich, you know. Maybe we could find their treasure! And when we get back to Coruscant, we can call the Galactic Society of Archaeology and report it. People from all over the galaxy would come here to see it.“
„Most padawans have dreams of being the best swordsman in the Order, or successfully negotiating a difficult treaty while the master is laid low with Rodian flu, or being offered a seat on the Council,“ Romy said with a slight smile. “My padawan dreams of the ancient city of Quilibeta.“
„Quilibeta?“ she asked wonderingly, then caught Romy’s meaning and smiled. “No--Romedonna.“
„Don’t you dare,“ Romy said. “The last person who called me that got his kneecaps sliced off.“
„Really? Who was it? Is he in a hoverchair now?“
Romy laughed. “Force, but you’re curious! Do you know what they say, Quil?“
„What, master?“
„Curiosity killed the Jedi.“
Quilibet was suddenly assaulted by a memory of Master Rad leaning over the flower bouquet and reaching out to get a closer look at the one he’d never seen before. Her curiosity faded abruptly and she stopped. “You’re right. I’m sorry, master.“
„No--Quil--I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I was teasing you.“
„Oh.“
„I shouldn’t have been so thoughtless. I should have remembered how a lot of things reminded me of Tihar, too.“
Feeling Romy’s honest regret, Quilibet reached out and laid a hand on her arm. “It’s all right.“
„If you want to continue, we have nothing else to do except sit around the fire up there and wait for the scanner to work again.“
„Well...I would like to see where the tunnel ends.“
„All right, then, lead the way, intrepid explorer.“
But after they’d walked on for a few minutes, Romy made an inarticulate sound of annoyance.
„What is it, master?“
„I’ve just run out of cable.“
„We don’t need it anyway. The tunnel is fairly straight. It meets up with another one, but it’s not a labyrinth by any means,“ Quilibet told her.
„Are you sure?“
„Yes, master! There are six main tunnels that lead out from the city, and each one of them branches into two others. Each branch leads to one of the guard towers. It’s very straightforward--at least that’s how it was when it was built.“
„Hundreds of years ago,“ Romy added.
„Ah--yes, master.“
„Well, would you mind waiting here while I go untie the other end of this?“
„No, of course not.“ They hadn’t come that far, Quilibet told herself, but after the sound of Romy’s footsteps died away, the tunnel was eerily silent and dark. She returned fairly quickly, though, much to Quilibet’s relief.
„Here, I brought your glowrod as well, and the scanner. I was just wondering if the interferance were something on the surface and if this thing would work down here.“ Romy switched it on, but there was only static. “Nope. If anything, it’s worse. So much for that idea.“
Quilibet transferred her glowrod to her belt, thinking that tunnels should really only be explored by flickering torch light, but recognising that it would burn out eventually. Still, it burned on as they continued, and showed a place in the bricks where tree roots had broken through. Stopping to put out her hand, Quilibet was about to say something when a sudden burst of warning through the Force made her grab Romy’s hand and pull her away down the tunnel. The earth had started to shake, knocking them sideways at first, and then to the ground, and after a moment, the bricks in the section they had just passed crashed suddenly to the floor. The resulting dust wave extinguished Quilibet’s torch, Romy’s glowrod had gone out, too, and there was nothing but darkness.
Day 5 hour 5.
"Garos?"
Garos rolled his eyes. Every time he managed to achieve something like a meditative trance she would talk. You could set your chrono by it. If he had attained a state in which he could watch the striped planet swing slowly overhead without wondering who had survived and who had...died. If he had succeeded in blanking his mind to the way the tree's bark seemed to have been sharpened under his buttocks. If he had for once stopped worrying about whether they would ever get out of here... If any of that happened, you could be sure Ambianca would open her mouth and drag him back into all the angst again. And for what?
"Yeah, what?"
"It's hot, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
Day 5 hour 12.
"Garos?"
"What!" She's doing it on purpose. I swear she is. She's trying to make me lose my mind! He shifted in the crook of his branch, noticing in the strange shadows of planetset how many cocoons there were on the undersides of the leaves.
Protein, thought the survival trained side of his mind, and the rest answered Aw, yuck! I'd rather eat Ambianca.
"It's funny how things happen, isn't it?" she was saying, twisting her golden undamaged braid between her fingers.
Garos really missed his braid - it had been one of his favourite aids to meditation. Just sitting and picking out the split ends one by one was a marvellous way to drive yourself into a state of mental emptiness.
"I mean, I haven't really got any friends," Ambianca said sadly, "And you haven't really got any friends either. Maybe the Force has put us into a situation where we'll have to learn to live together, rely on each other, learn to operate as a team. You know, like one of those bonding things? And when our Masters find us we'll have a deeper appreciation of each other. We'll be able to look back on this and see it as the beginning of a friendship which will sustain us throughout the rest of our lives."
A brief look showed him the almost radiant sincerity in her face as she handed him a piece of disgusting psycobabble appropriate for the writer of the most mawkish Coruscant holo-soap. Force, I'm better off with the caterpillars. If I ate her she'd make me sick.
"Yeah, whatever."
Day 5, Noon.
Pure smiled. Life was strange, but good. He reclined in the nest of leafy branches. The sun, high in the sky, shone full onto him. His clothes had long since stopped steaming and the heat was now pushing through every molecule of his body, easing cramps and stresses he had grown to think were perpetual.
The soft, springy platform he lay on was constructed between two branches, and if the wind blew it swayed gently, like a hammock. Up here the mugginess of the air was cut and relieved by a constant breeze. Yellow butterflies danced among the leaves, and if Pure moved, even slightly, three or four vampkis would rush forwards and press a blue fruit, or a gourd full of water into his hand.
Earlier, while he still could not raise his head without the world splintering, there had been a great argument over him. The vampki tribe had divided into two factions which Pure thought of as the "Eat Him"s and the "He's a God"s. A particularly large animal Pure had named 'Stripe', from the "Eat Him" party, had gone so far as to bite Pure's hand.
It had been the hand in which he was clutching Betty. He hadn't meant to - he would swear that - but the spasm of pain had made him grip the activator. Stripe had been char-grilled from the inside out. The "He's a God" faction had been smug ever since.
They had offered him the body to eat. But Pure could just imagine what a precedent that would set, and he refused it. So now he was living entirely on a diet of Pastel fruit.
It had become obvious to him that he'd been brought here to share his enlightenment with these naturally reverent little souls. The trees knew, the fish knew, and soon the vampki tribe would know all the secrets at the heart of creation - just as soon as he could get them to stop eating meat.
There were only two things nagging at Pure's bliss. The first was a vague feeling that he was a rather substandard god. The vampkis had found him lying unconscious in a stream, surely. Why on ...that big place with all the buildings... would that inspire any kind of awe?
The second was Invisible Boy. With the sun's rising, Pure had begun to hear IB's voice again. It seemed more miserable, more desolate than ever. Closer too.
I have to find him.
But how would the tribe feel about their new god suddenly deserting them? How could he leave without making the "Eat him"s realise they were right all along?
He turned his head and met the beady eyes of the Chief. Even in his fruit-enhanced content, Pure could feel that the Chief vampki was watching him narrowly. Watching and judging. He put on his best unconcerned, godly voice. "Get me a drink would you please, Mr Fluffy?"
Yes, he would definitely have to think about this.
Day 5, hour 20
"Garos?"
It had begun to rain. No, that was hardly accurate. Water was pouring out of the grey heavens in a fall so dense it was difficult to breathe. He had set the water containers from their packs out at the exposed ends of a branch, and now they overflowed, pelting the mushy ground below, raising a steam of mud.
He and Ambianca sat huddled together under a single cloak, trying to keep the other one dry incase the approaching night was cold. In the physical proximity - her warmth pressed against his chest, her golden head nestled under his chin - he was trying to think of Maye and finding it difficult. The wistful tone of her voice did not help. "For Kriff's sake, what is it?"
"Oh, that's nice!" She drew away, and a gust of rain-heavy cold curled along his ribs. "Why did I have to get stuck with you?"
At least the wistfulness was gone. Her voice was sharp as she rambled on "I could have been with Jay. He'd at least have made a pass at me by now. I mean, this is supposed to be romantic, isn't it? Shipwrecked together on an unspoilt planet. Boy rescues girl from ravening monster and suddenly sees her in a new light."
She smiled, not entirely bitterly. "You're supposed to realise how sweet and vulnerable I look, with the cute little smudge of dirt on the end of my nose. I'm supposed to realise that underneath your silence lies the deep and brooding soul of a hero. Then we embark on a passionate but ultimately doomed affair, because when our Masters rescue us they forbid us to ever see each other again. And we part with broken hearts."
Garos found he was getting a whole new insight into Ambianca's reading habits. It sounded like she'd thoroughly enjoy that mushy novel Leona thought no-one knew she was writing.
He shied away from the thought of secrets with a speed which was becoming habitual, and found himself feeling slightly flattered. "You'd really like that to happen?"
"Not with you obviously," said Ambianca quickly, "But with someone like Jay it might have been fun."
The tree instantly felt three times more uncomfortable. Garos shifted position, frowning. "What's wrong with me then?"
"Oh well, you know..." Ambianca waved a hand vaguely. There was dirt underneath her broken nails. He couldn't quite see why that would be cute.
"Close your eyes," she said, struggling out from his arms, "I can't wait any longer. I'm going to make some more rain."
Day 5, Hour 2 to Day 6, Hour 6
Quilibet pushed herself up to her hands and knees and spit out a mouthful of dust. “Master!“
„Quilibet! Are you all right?“
„We’ve got to get out of here.“
„Now don’t panic, Quil--“
„The aftershocks will bring down more of the tunnel, master, come on!“ Quilibet felt around until her hands came in contact with part of Romy, then gave it a good tug.
„Ow!“
„Master, I don’t always see the past when I touch objects! Come on!“
Somehow, they managed to get to their feet and walk briskly down the tunnel even in the darkness, each keeping a hand on the wall. The first aftershock made them stagger, but they managed to keep standing and then continue on as the sound of more brickwork collapsing followed them up the tunnel. Eventually, relying on the Force to guide them, they had increased their speed to a quick jog, ignoring the weaker aftershocks, and when they came to the branching-off place, they both turned as one to the right.
They came quickly to the stairs leading out of the tunnel, but when Quilibet, leaping ahead, pressed both hands against against the access panel, it remained firmly in place. Sensing some kind of obstruction on the other side, she pushed again, this time using a burst of the Force to help her. The panel flew away more abruptly than she’d expected, letting light into the tunnel and making her blink, but she charged up the steps anyway, into the pouring rain.
As soon as Quilibet’s eyes had adjusted, she looked around, wondering why it was raining when they should have come out in the shelter of some kind of structure, and immediately saw the reason for it. About three meters away, the guard tower had landed on its side on top of two trees, bending them to the ground with its sheer weight, and just as Romy came up the steps behind her, it collapsed into a pile of debris.
„Ooops,“ said Quilibet.
There was a long silence, and then Romy simply said, “Well, we’ll just have to find some other place to get out of the rain--unless you want to stay in the tunnel.“
„No, thank you, master.“ The experience in the tunnel had spooked Quilibet more than she wanted to admit, and she also wondered if she hadn’t been the cause of the earthquake as well, by using the Force in a weakened place. Now she followed Romy around, looking for some halfway dry place. They were already soaked anyway, but moving around gave them something to do and was better than just standing there, thinking about what might have happened. Although there were plenty of trees and bushes, however, everything underneath them was getting wet, too.
They came across another tree with the perfectly round, yellow fruits, the ones that Quilibet had already identified as poisonous, and she felt Romy grimace mentally at the memory. But that was the only obvious source of food that they passed, and Quilibet became aware that, because of her actions, they had been cut off from everything they’d taken with them; the water container, the ration bars, the dry wood, the medical emergency box--everything. She began to feel distinctly guilty.
„Stop that, Quil,“ Romy said firmly from in front of her. “I’m sorry, too, but it’s happened and we can’t change it now. We can only act like Jedi and go on. At least we’ve got the scanner, and your Critic.“
„Yes, master,“ Quilibet sighed, releasing the guilty feelings into the Force and searching for calm instead.
At length, Romy stopped under a tree that had leaves as long as their arms, or even longer, and at least a handspan wide. They each broke off several, then tied the stems together at one end and slipped it over their heads for a kind of hat/cloak. Several more leaves made a mat on the ground that they could sit on to protect themselves from the damp and the mud underneath, and Quilibet also made a little teepee for her legs, which Romy soon copied. They sat leaning against the trunk of the tree, listening to the sound of the rain pattering on their leaves.
„This would be a good time to meditate!“ Romy called out.
„I was just about to say this would be a good time to hear some space pirate stories,“ Quilibet called back.
„The rain is too loud. I don’t want to shout myself hoarse.“
It was an odd meditation, though. The Force was still very strong, not as strong as it had been earlier, but there was still more than enough background interference, and Quilibet found it so annoying that she eventually gave up and simply sat, watching the rain and feeling the occasional drop get through her leafy coverings. She was slowly drying off underneath them, but by the time she’d gone from soaking wet to simply damp, however, she had to get up and go. Shortly after she’d sat down again, a family of rocks wandered by.
Quilibet looked twice. No, they were lizards ... or some such thing ... with short, stubby legs, and even eyes. A mouth, too, no doubt, though she couldn’t tell from that distance what might be an opening and what was simply camoflage. The biggest rock thing was about waist high to Quilibet, the next one only slightly smaller, but the „babies“ that followed were not much bigger than a stepping stone in a stream, or a large tortoise. Both Quilibet and Romy remained still, and the rock lizards did not even seem to notice them as they tredged on, oblivious to the downpour. At last, they were gone. Wondering what they ate, and if anything ate them, and if they were dangerous, kept Quilibet’s mind occupied for quite a while, and then her thoughts turned to other things again.
It was a long day and the rain did not stop. Eventually, when Quilibet’s body told her it was night, she managed to fall asleep, and so did Romy, but it was a restless, miserable sleep, and they were both awake again early. Quilibet drank by catching water in her outstretched hands several times and slurping it up.
At length, Romy called out, “The scanner’s working again!“
Quilibet stood up automatically, then said, “What about all our things?“
„Well--do you have any idea which direction that other guard tower is in?“
„No,“ she admitted.
„Neither do I. We could get lost forever trying to find it. But we do know which way to go to find the Kaligari, even if we have to live by our wits.“
„Yes, master. It won’t be so bad. There are lots of animals out here--how do you think those rock things would taste on the inside?“
„Gritty,“ Romy suggested, and they both laughed. Then she added, “Actually, they might be quite tasty, if they need such protection.“
„Hmm. We’ve got the Critic for plant food. I just wish I had a dry tunic,“ Quilibet sighed, rubbing her bare arms a little. “Never mind. Nothing can keep a good Jedi down. Let’s get going.“
As they began to walk, Romy said,“Just wave your arms around a bit, Quil, that will get the circulation going. Here, try this exercise I saw while visiting Chancelor Badlesmere Public School back on Coruscant once.“
She placed her hands close to her chest, then moved both elbows backwards abruptly, returned her arms to their original position, and did it again, this time throwing them wide open. “The girls used to sing this funny song along with it.“
„Oh, no,“ Quilibet said, but Romy was not deterred. Moving her arms again, she belted out, “We must! We must! We must increase our bust! The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, we can! We can! If we want a man!“
„Master, that’s horrible!“ But Quilibet couldn’t help a little smile.
„I know. I don’t think any of them believed it, either, thank the Force,“ she grinned, then turned around and began to walk again.
Behind her back, Quilibet decided to skip the bust-building exercise and settled instead on simply flexing one arm at the elbow a few times, and then the other one. After that, she simply concentrated on walking. It was much easier without the water container, and they were able to go much faster, but she couldn’t help wondering how much ground they’d lost, or maybe gained, because of the incident in the tunnels. The rain began to taper off some hours later, and they were able to remove their leafy hats.
„The scanner’s stopped working,“ Romy finally announced. It was dusk, and Quilibet was glad. She was tired from the long march on an empty stomach, and having slept poorly in the night. Now she was looking forward to a fire at least, and a good long rest. While glancing around for a suitable area for a campsite, she caught a glimpse of something through the trees. “Master, what’s that?“
„What?“
„Over there. A kind of...glow.“
„I don’t know, Quil. It looks like a kind of...glow,“ Romy teased.
They both reached out with the Force at the same time. It had sunk back to something approximating a normal level, and Quilibet only got the impression of sentient life forms. “People, master?“
“Perhaps. Let’s go have a look, but be careful. We don’t know who they are. Some of the pirates might be down here, too.“
Quilibet had forgotten about the pirates, and reached automatically for her lightsaber as she got into position behind Romy.
Day 6 hour 4
"Ambianca?" The sun was setting, and Garos felt more miserable than he had ever felt in his life - knowing that they faced another long night of this, and then another day.
Force, she looked rough - white and pinched and afraid. "Yes?"
"Do you really think our Masters are coming for us?"
A pause while she assembled the porcelain mask of Jedi certainty. Just a long enough pause so he knew she wasn't sure either.
"Of course they are. Why wouldn't they be? My Master loves me. Of course she's looking for me."
"Only," Garos said slowly, "When I try to feel if my Master's OK I don't get anything. Nothing at all. It's like he's just ...not there any more." A pause and a deliberate breath, "Ambianca, what if they're dead?"
"Master Falmar would never die on a little dung heap world like this." Ambianca rallied with a ferocity he had not seen in her before. "She's going to die on Coruscant, so she can have a fashionable funeral. Everyone in their best outfits, professional mourners, attar of roses on the pyre and a speech by the Supreme Chancellor..."
Garos tried to think of what Finis Valorum would have to say about Sal-Fina. 'This aging harlot made the life of my good friend Master Jinn a misery for the past thirty years. Everyone break out the bubbly now she's gone!'
The trouble was that this was exactly the sort of backwater, exactly the sort of unremarkable mission which would finish his unassuming teacher. He could easily imagine something pointless happening to Master Biwo, in a situation where a search would never be made. He could see himself returning to the Temple alone; people greeting him in the corridors with a puzzled look. 'Far Biwo? I don't think I... Was he the one with the stew?'
Oh, Master, don't be dead. You might not be the flashiest man in the universe, but please don't be dead.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "I guess you're right."
Day 6, hour 6.
At least the rain had stopped, but now it was growing dark. The sky's heavy overcast cut out the light of sunset, and under the canopy of the jungle night had come hours early.
Greeting the darkness, the forest erupted in evening song. Birds and frogs sang. High, excited voices shouted "Oy, oy, oy!" like, Garos thought sourly, a convention of teenage swoop riders. And there, over it all, came the horrible booming roar of the monster, watching them.
It came out of cover now the light had faded, shouldering through the undergrowth with ponderous grace, and Force! he had forgotten how huge it was. The golden, malevolent eyes swung up to fix on Garos, and his hands tightened involuntarily. It can't climb. I know it can't climb.
A massive paw swung; landed with a thud on the bough below him. The whole tree shuddered. Ambianca gave a squeak as her perch bounced underneath her, and then he saw her foot lift out of vision as she scramble further up. The snap-hiss of her lightsabre made a brave sound, but was useless. If it couldn't reach her, she couldn't reach it.
Garos was too sensible for false courage. He was going to use both hands to hold on with.
Another swing. GRROOOOAARRH! The world rocked under him. Pulling the tree by the branch below his, Force!, the monster bent it, like a sapling, tugging him down, tugging him towards its mouth. Panic rose up as Garos hung on. What can I do?
A massive crack and a tearing like acres of velcro being pulled at once. The tree bucked under him like a maddened tauntaun.
"No! Garos!" Ambianca had seen the creature's plan, had seen him reach for his sabre, "No - just hold tight!"
Now the monster had the torn off branch between its paws. It lifted it and began to jab the splintered end into his face, like a man with a pin, trying to prise a winkle from its shell.
Garos raised his hands to deflect the blow. The thrust caught him in the side, almost catapulting him from the tree. A mental picture of himself sailing into the air "Aaah!" and he swung forward again, clutching on for dear life.
A spark and hiss - smell of pine - Ambianca had cut the end of the battering ram off and scuttled back to safety. "This is stupid!" she yelled at him, "I'm tired of this. I'm going down there to fight it."
Poor, heroic fool. She stood no chance. But he couldn't talk even to dissuade her - the creature had lengthened her grip and was battering both his branch and himself. Tremendous blows - an onslaught of pain that weakened him. He could feel his hands open and slip as he screamed from a punch to the kidneys. Not long now. He couldn't last long now. He closed his eyes.
A slash of wind - a near miss. Ambianca yelled, sounding almost joyful with battle fury. Garos braced himself for the next blow - the one he knew he could not withstand - and was proud of her for dying so well. Not like him.
RRRRRRUUUUUUAAAAARRRRRR.
OY OY OY OY!
Why were the swoop riders all around him? Had they come to fight over the carrion? He heard yells, shreaks, sharp cracking noises...
And then silence.
Eyes closed, pain fading from his back, Garos clung on to the tree and waited for doom.
"Erm," Ambianca's voice fell into the silence like a meditation chime - deepening it, making it more profound. The Force magnified her awe and fear, until it was a part of the moist air. He breathed it in. It chilled him.
"Erm, Garos. You might want to look down."
In that instant he knew he did not, whatever happened, he did not want to look. He did not want to see. The slightly pitying note in Ambianca's tone tightened a noose of dread around his throat, making it hard to breathe.
Don't be so pathetic.
He released the fear, and the self-reproach, and looked down.
The monster was gone. It had fled, as every animal does before the terror of the supernatural. There under the tree, slim and frail as a candle flame, and equally bright, stood the glowing, blue, spectral form of Master Biwo.
"My master is a Force ghost." Garos tried the words. They were soft and poisonous in his mouth, "My master is a ghost." He could feel them, creeping into his heart, waiting to destroy it. The moment he believed, the poison would act, leaving him hollow. "My Master is a ghost. My Master is dead."
"No," he breathed, shaking his head, "Please, no."
The ghost of Far Biwo looked at him as if he was a stranger to it. It offered no comfort at all.
Day 6 Hour 6
Garos and Ambianca looked down to the distant ground, where the luminous form of Garos' former master stood. The ghost looked up at them with an expression of beatific happiness.
"Why's he down there then, if he's dead?" Ambianca asked in a sudden tone of suspicion, "Why isn't he floating up here with us?"
Just like her, thought Garos - misery making him bitter - to insist that he convince her of his Master's death. But she did have a certain point. "Ambianca, look at him, you could use him as a nightlight." He sounded half hysterical, Only half? "Of course he's dead."
"What's he come back for? Why's he just standing there? Shouldn't he be imparting some secret from beyond the grave? Sending you on a quest, or something?" She shut her eyes, like a creche youngster attempting a difficult feat of the Force, and concluded ruthlessly. "I reckon he's alive."
Stop it, Ambianca! You're just making it worse! Garos wanted to shout it at her. He got as far as "But..." when she reached out and ruffled his rather greasy hair.
"Garos, you know your Master attracts chemicals like Obi-Wan attracts injuries. Let's just ask him, OK?"
He swallowed, trying to get control of the shakes, which were making his hands act as though they belonged to someone else - someone operating a pneumatic drill. It couldn't hurt to ask, could it? After all, the worst had apparently already happened.
He forced a nod. Ambianca leaned out of the tree.
Eyes of sapphire flame lifted and fastened on her. In the darkness the lines of Master Biwo's face were drawn in platinum. Eerie, ethereal, beautiful. Something in Ambianca's expression changed, became complex, as she looked down on him, "Master Far?"
"Far?" The god-like visage creased in a frown. His voice sounded thick and weary, with the hint of a blocked nose. A ghost with a cold? "Yes, I have come far."
Garos and Ambianca exchanged a look. She tried again; "Far Biwo?"
"I know I'm far below. That's because you're up a tree."
OK, who spiked my food cubes? For a moment Garos felt as if he was back on the cantina-crawl; head spinning, not quite sure which was was up.
Without saying another word he forced his trembling limbs to climb down, landed with a soft thud at the base of the tree, hearing Ambianca's splashdown moments later. This close, Far's radiance was like looking at the moon in a silver mirror. Garos forced down an urge to weep and concentrated on his Master's still form.
There, and there, and there - the rise and fall of Far's chest as he breathed. Surely the dead didn't do that?
Garos dared to look at its expression. Saw deep concern, mild puzzlement, absolutely no recognition. "Master?" It hurt that this man could look at him like that. You're the closest thing I've got to a father. You must know me.
He reached out, touched the bright, angelic face. It was firm and warm as flesh beneath his fingers. The puzzled cerulean eyes cleared a little, smiling. "Invisible Boy?"
He's alive! Garos choked back a sob, tried to cover it by pretending he had begun to talk. "Ambianca? He doesn't know who I am!"
But she was watching the Master with that same, bizarre expression, like a sage with a vision she could not interpret.
"He doesn't even know his own name!" Garos exclaimed, frantic that she would see the tragedy, understand how disturbed and abandoned he felt.
"I know," said Ambianca, giving him the last thing he expected - a look of envy - "And still he came for you."
While Garos stood, stunned, Far stepped closer, pulled the young man into a hug. All the emotion of the past hour - terror, loss, joy and sheer confusion - met in a seething maelstrom in Garos' head, and was burnt away by pure embarrassment. "Master!"
"It's alright, Invisible Boy. It's going to be alright."
Oh, Force, it would have been nice to relax, to let go and be hugged like an initiate. But not in front of a girl! Garos struggled out of the embrace. "My name is Garos Hmiol, Master. And yours is Far Biwo."
"It is?" A look of deepest confusion passed over the Master's face. "I thought... Oh."
Now he too looked embarrassed to the point of anger. Showing a rare display of tact, Ambianca chose that moment to step forward, "Master Biwo?"
Far held up one slender hand - the luminescence making the gesture look like a blessing, "Wait, I know you. You're the White Witch's Invisible Girl."
Ambianca's thunderstruck look was priceless. Garos sneaked a sideways glance at his Master's expression and saw an immanent fit of the giggles.
"It's all real!" Far gazed from one Padawan to the other, grin literally lighting up the night, "The Warrior, the White Witch, Small Feet Man...It's all real!"
Something of the same wave of joy and relief hit Garos at the same time. Hey, now I've got the flashiest Master in the whole Order. At least, the Master most like a flashlight.
They dissolved together into uproarious laughter. Hundreds of small voices in the trees around them joined in, parroting the sound excitedly. Ambianca sniffed. "Well, really," she said, "Men!"
Ambianca watched as Garos and Far straightened up from their fit of laughter. Their faces - close - were shining together with a reflected joy which made her want to do something petty, just to get a bit of attention. Hello? I do still exist, you know.
"When you two have quite finished," she said snappily, "Perhaps we could do something useful?"
Master Biwo turned quickly, winced as though the movement had hurt him. Luminous certainly was a good look on him, Ambianca thought. She'd always seen Far as the perfect complement of his Padawan. Garos was surly and antisocial, Far was mild and easily overlooked. But this - angelic, glamourous - this seriously suited him.
Far turned on her an old-fashioned politeness, like a Prince of Alderaan greeting a young lady at a debutante ball. "I'm afraid you have the advantage of me. I'm sure your name can't really be Invisible Girl?"
Her hand was greened, filthy, her nails broken, but he took it and bowed over it courteously, making her feel for one precious moment like a princess in a gown of dreams. The centre of the world. "Oh!" she stammered, delighted into stupidity, "Erm..."
"We call her Amoeba."
Ambianca's fantasy moment collapsed at the sound of Garos' snide remark. She glared at him - stupid, pasty, immature boy. "That's rich, coming from you, Padawan Dull."
Far raised a hand to his head, swayed slightly, frowning. "Amoeba? That's...urh...nice. Perhaps we should make a fire. I do feel quite hungry."
Garos moved away to collect firewood. Ambianca squealed "You've got food?" and just managed to stop herself from kissing the Master. It was a narrow thing and took a lot more effort than she would have expected. Ew, she tried to get herself back under control What are you *thinking*? He must be nearly *forty*! He's *ancient*!
Biwo swayed away from her, looking concerned, "No, I don't have food, but I know someone who does." He put his fingers in his mouth and blew a shrill whistle. Instantly the jungle canopy boiled with movement. Twigs pattered down. 'OY', voices gibbered, and then something beachball sized, covered in long, tawny hair, with eyes like shiny beads and teeth like hypodermics, splashed heavily down in front of her.
"Eeeee!" She leapt away, and her sabre was in her hand without thought. But now there were others - a rain of heavy bodies from every tree, shaking the ground around her.
"Master!" Garos came racing back, scattering wood. He skidded to a halt before Far, his own sabre kindled. Setting himself in immovable stance he prepared to defend his teacher. Ambianca was surprised to find she was glad to have him as an ally against the carpet of savage creatures.
"Ooh, look," said Far, delighted, "You've got a Betty too. Are we part of some sort of camping society?"
"Master?" Garos' expression got that anxious look again, and Ambianca couldn't resist elbowing him in the ribs.
"He's a bit Far gone, isn't he?"
"Shut up, Amoeba! What about them?"
The hirsute beachballs were watching them with cunning eyes. In the front, the ginger monster gnashed his teeth at her.
"Relax!" Far laughed and leaned down to stroke the little beast. "This is Mr Fluffy. He's going to get us something to eat. Aren't you, my friend?"
Anything less like a Mr Fluffy Ambianca had never seen. It bore about as much resemblance to a tame vampki as a purring kitty bore to a sabretooth. She wondered just how deranged Far was, but Garos had already thumbed off his weapon. "Listen," he said, "If it works, it works. I don't want to fight them, do you?"
"This is Spotty," Far had begun wading through the mob, touching them, like... "This is Ginger, and Derrik. This is Cocoa and Mint Humbug. Mint Humbug really likes boots."
Comparisons eluded Ambianca. She shook her head. This should have been so stupid. This was so stupid, and yet it was touching too. He knew all of them by name - even if the name was Squishball - and he excluded none. Introducing them all to Garos' unbelieving stare, he was smiling like a proud creche-master with a room full of tiny initiates. How gentle he was, Ambianca thought, dazedly.
When the introductions were over, Far held a brief conversation with Mr Fluffy; a staccato flurry of yips and howls.
"He's gone barking mad," Garos joked in an undertone.
For some reason she found that very distasteful. "Show some respect to your Master!"
Garos gave her a stare of suspicion which reminded her that he was the spy-camera king of the Jedi Temple, and couldn't leave a mystery unsolved. But there was no mystery here - only his own bad attitude - so he was going to be disappointed.
The vampki tribe took to the trees, and she helped Garos to collect up his spilled wood and make a platform for a fire. It kindled easily enough, under the onslaught of three lightsabres, but burned very reluctantly, sending up a plume of dull orange smoke but giving out hardly any warmth.
"It'll be better once...nnh!" Far clutched at his head again, staggering. Garos was at his side in a flash, taking his arm, helping him to sit. Just like Hmiol to take all the credit when she was just as concerned. "...Once the wood has dried." Far's shining face was tense with pain.
Ambianca found herself drawn forward by a strange compulsion to give comfort. "Are you alright, Master Biwo?"
"My head is broken. Feel." He took her wrist and guided her hand into the springy curls of his hair. She could tell, yes, where the skull was cracked and bowed out by pressure. Not something she should be smiling about, and she didn't even realise she was, until Garos gave her a look of utter horror, and shrank closer to his Master's side like a bodyguard.
"Get lost, Ambianca. This is not one of your holodramas!"
What was he talking about?
Far had brought out a round, blue fruit from one of his pockets and munched it without sharing. His expression eased, and the silver aura around him grew fractionally brighter, making him a comfortable presence in the dark. The fire had begun to glow, and as she crept closer, Ambianca could feel delicious warmth spreading along her chilled and damp limbs.
Far might be injured, amnesiac and insane, but he was still a Master and she felt safer with him there. The vampkis would return with food, she was getting dry, and perhaps there was a chance that tonight she could sleep. Things were looking up. Things were definitely looking up...
A scream sliced the meagre moment of content. It was followed by a silence profound enough to drown in, and then the vampkis were back - angry, shaking the boughs above them, yelling furiously.
Far struggled to his feet. "Something's coming!"
Oh, Force! The ape monster! Of course it was returning. Why the kriff had they forgotten it? It must have smelled by now that Far was no ghost. Perhaps it had even smelled that he was wounded.
"Quick!" Garos gasped, "Up the tree."
"I'm sorry?" Far looked bewildered. "Am I supposed to be scared? I'll just command it to go away again. I am a god you know."
"Chuuba! Master, don't do this to me. Just get up the kriffing tree, OK?"
But by that time it was too late.
Day 6, Hour 6
They walked forward slowly, and Quilibet became aware of animals in the foliage around them; animals the size and shape of beachballs, with long, sleek fur and four legs. One of them actually dropped down into their path and stood as though to prevent them from going any farther, watching them with narrowed eyes, but Romy merely moved to one side of it and continued on. It let out a screech of frustration and dismay--or maybe of warning--and after a moment of surprised silence, Romy whispered, “Well, now they really know we’re coming.“
The animals were making quite a din now, shaking the boughs of the trees and calling out. Quilibet glanced beyond Romy to the blue and yellow glow, and saw that the yellow glow was actually fire. The prospect was inviting. Not that it was exactly cold in the jungle, but Quilibet didn’t like being soaking wet all the time.
Two more steps brought Romy out of the bushes, Quilibet close at her back. She could see what looked like a life sized hologram - were they pirates, taking orders from a Captain left behind on the Mothership? And two teenagers. A little young for pirates, weren't they? And why on Coruscant were they trying to climb a tree?
Romy took one more step, out where they could all see her, and Quilibet stifled a yell of warning as her danger-sense peaked. A monster of a beast came hurtling from the treetops to bounce in a spitting war-dance just in front of her, black little eyes outraged. Two had converged on Romy; and they didn't seem so comical-looking any more, not with teeth like that, and claws like An-Paj's needles. Romy's sabre was kindled in her hand - the blade of Quilibet's snapped into emerald life at the same time. With a roar of challenge the mottle-furred savage in front of her lept for her throat. Training took over, in a long elegant cut that severed the attacking thing. Halves fell neatly cauterised at her feet.
"NO!"
The hologram was running towards her, hands outstretched, feet splashing in the mud. Not a hologram at all, she thought, as she registered his look of childlike terror. "Don't hurt them! Please!" It wasn't at all clear if he was speaking to them, or to the animals.
Close too, she could see that he was dressed as a Jedi Master; a luminous, bemused Jedi Master, with tears in his eyes as he bent down over the dead vampki. The teenage 'pirates' were revealed as padawans like herself. A boy and a girl whose names she couldn't quite remember. The girl scrambled back down the tree onto the ground as she watched.
"These are weapons?" The Master looked up from the corpse to her lightsabre, with an expression of heartbreak that made her feel like she'd killed his pet dog. He took up his own sabre and looked at it as if it had become abhorrant to him. "A weapon? I don't want a weapon. I don't want to kill people."
Quilibet turned to Romy, at a loss. What does a padawan say to a Master who doesn't recognise his own lightsabre for what it it? It was... embarrassing. Master Romedon too looked as if some of her cool had evaporated - Quilibet could feel her concern like a pressure on her face.
"Far? What's happened to you?" Romy took the glowing Jedi by the arms and leaned forward to look carefully into his face. He blinked. The padawans came up behind him protectively as he swayed, puzzlement and effort and pain all looking wrong on a face that shone so bright.
"Battle-Axe?"
The girl sniggered and tried to pretend it was a cough. The boy said "I'm sorry Master...um... He's been giving everyone names like that. He doesn't remember anyone."
But Romy was smiling with relief. "Yes, it's me, Far. Payback time, I guess."
Another frown of effort and the Master's sway became a stagger, but his eyes, fixed on Romedon's face, widened. "R- Romy?" Then his knees buckled and he collapsed into her arms. Romy caught him in an awkward hug first, then got a better grip, and lowered him to a prone position near the fire. “Have either of you got a robe or anything to cover him with?“
The other two padawans shook their heads and the boy, looking sullen and suspicious, knelt down on the other side of his master. “Is he going to be all right?“
„He’s got a terrible head injury,“ the girl added, which made the boy scowl. She saw it, and added defensively, “Well, he does!“
„He’s -my- master and -I’ll- do the telling,“ the boy snarled.
„And your name is--?“ Romy asked.
„Garos Hmiol,“ he muttered.
„Padawan Dull,“ the girl added. There was something familiar about her, but Quilibet didn’t remember her name until the boy retorted, “Amoeba.“
„Ambianca,“ Quilibet exclaimed in surprise.
„Who are you?“ Ambianca and Garos both asked together.
Feeling somewhat deflated, she replied, “Quilibet Lyr.“
„Who?“ Garos asked, but Ambianca merely said, “Oh, yes.“
„And this is my master, Romedon Tenax,“ Quilibet added, just in case they really thought the name was Battle-Ax.
„He knew her name,“ Garos said, sounding shocked and disbelieving. “I’ve never seen her before in my life, but he knew her name and he didn’t know mine. He called me Invisible Boy!“
„I’m sorry,“ Quilibet said, but she didn’t know what else to do. Embarrassed, she glanced over to where Romy was gently prodding Master Biwo’s head and looking concerned.
„Head injuries can have many different effects on people,“ Romy said.“It’s not unusual to remember things that happened a long time ago, but be unable to remember the past month or even year.“
Garos still looked upset, and Quilibet looked away. The two halves of the animal’s body still lay on the ground, and Quilibet picked them up, her mouth watering already at the thought of food. Moving around to the other side of the fire, she began to skin one half.
„Ewww, what are you doing?“ Ambianca cried out.
„Making dinner,“ Quilibet explained, wondering why her actions hadn’t been self-evident.
„Out of--out of that?“
„It’s good fresh meat,“ Quilibet said. “It’s a bit small for all of us, but it’s better than nothing.“
„He called it Ginger,“ Ambianca wailed. “I can’t eat anything that had a name!“
„He had names for all of them. They were his friends,“ Garos added, looking faintly sick. “We shouldn’t eat our master’s friends!“
Quilibet glanced down at the hind leg in her hands and sighed, but a moment later, her stomach rumbled imploringly, and she gritted her teeth with determination. “Well, why don’t you two go out and find some of your master’s enemies to eat, then? Because otherwise, I’m afraid you’re either going to have to eat this thing no matter what it’s called, or starve.“
After a moment, she added, “If it helps, don’t think of it as Ginger. Think of it as ... Master Snacky.“
Day 6 hour 8
With his master unconsious, Garos was suddenly alone in an encampment full of women. Quilibet was humming to herself as she skewered chunks of what had once been a semi-sentient being onto twigs for roasting. Master Tenax was standing straight and purposeful, looking up at the stars with an expression of deep thought on her face. Ambianca was kneeling by Master Biwo doing - in his opinion - some quite un-necessary forehead bathing and coverlet smoothing.
And hey! wasn't that his cloak that she'd spread over his master, as if she owned them both.
Garos felt swamped under all this primal femininity. One's ruthless, one's mysterious, one's all pink and fluffy, and they *still* understand each other without words.
"More rain coming," said Romy suddenly, "And however tough you young Padawans are, Far needs shelter if he's to recover."
He hated the way she did that: the way she talked about his master as if she was his friend. Intellectually, he knew that Far had probably had a life of his own before becoming Garos' master. If he stretched his sympathy as far as it could go, he would acknowledge that perhaps Far still had a life of his own. But it didn't seem natural, or fair.
Only then did he hear what she'd said. "What do you mean 'if'?" He surged to his feet, went to face her down. It was sithly of her to say something like that. "He's going to be fine now. I'm going to look after him. He'll be fine."
Romedon was no taller than he was, but the look she gave him - a compound of Jedi resignation and pity - made him feel very small. "The head trauma is severe, Padawan Hmiol, and the inflammation is putting pressure on his brain. I don't know..."
"He walked half way across the planet. If he was going to die he'd have done it by now!" He was shouting at a Master! Automatically he glanced round, expecting scandalized looks. Why had Quilibet gone silent, colour draining from her face? What did she care? She wasn't the one being told... Being told lies.
"Oh, Garos. There are no rules for cases like this. Often victims go on for days, without even being aware they've been injured, and then suddenly..." She tried to touch his sleeve in a gesture of reassurance. He moved away.
"I'm not saying that's going to happen," her face, with the haunted circles under her eyes, the lines of tension and dismay, seemed to contradict her words, "But you should prepare yourself, because the possibility is there."
There were bloody women everywhere and they were all looking at him, all of them with the nerve to look upset, like they cared. He couldn't function under that scrutiny. He needed to be alone. "Well I guess I'll go and meditate then," he said savagely, kicking away one of Quilibet's spit-roasts, "While you eat my Master's friend. What're you going to do with Master Biwo when he dies, huh? Make stew?"
Quil picked the food up, wiped off some of the mud, repositioned it in the fire, silently, without looking at him.
"Chuuba!" He strode away into the darkness.
Romy sighed. To think I was so pleased to see them! Then she paced over to where Quilibet was industriously turning the roasting meat. "Are you alright, Padawan?"
"I'm fine, Master."
The rote response, listless and obviously untrue, made her curse the whole moon to the seven sith hells and back. "Quil, I know this makes you think of your own berevement, but please, please don't leave me again. I need you focussed, Quil. I need you to act like a Jedi."
Quil ground the end of the last spit into the earth and brushed off her hands, then pushed her worried thoughts away and looked up bravely. "I really am fine. I..." Quick glance at the spitting flames, "I know how he feels. And how he would feel if ... But if there's a chance, any chance, that it won't happen, there's no point mourning beforehand, is there? Because there'll be more than enough time afterwards...if it happens."
And the things you fear don't always happen, Quilibet told herself as she checked the strips of meat and adjusted one for better cooking. It was better to concentrate on the here and now, worry about the task at hand, instead of reacting to something that hadn't happened and might not ever happen, no matter how hard it was. She remembered the dream she'd had on board the Kaligari, and the admonition she'd heard, and found that she was repeating the words to herself. Trust in the Force, trust in the Force.
Romy smiled, sensing that her padawan was holding back. It obviously cost her a great deal to watch Garos going through this. The poor girl had suffered so much death recently. But she was coping, in the same way that Romy was; by hoping for the best, and concentrating on the task at hand. She felt a surge of pride for the youngster, and for the organisation which had made her what she was. "Sometimes I wonder what the future holds for all our bright young Padawans," she said, "Something special I hope. You deserve it."
Quilibet took a deep breath and tried not to think of what the future might have in store, "Well, at the moment it holds char-grilled Snacky," she said, "Arm or leg, Master?"
"Um..." Ambianca muttered behind her.
"Don't you mean leg or leg?" Romy asked, rather queasily,
"Um, Master...?" Ambianca was probably just talking to Far. Good, he must be waking up.
"No, they've got these little hands, see." said Quil, holding out a joint of meat with an unmistakeble palm on the end.
"Ew, that does look a bit..."
"Master Tenax! Help!" Finally desperate enough to get over being girly, Ambianca's voice wailed through the clearing. Spinning, Romy saw what looked like a classic torture scene. The girl was bent over Far, trying to pin his arms to the ground while he arched as if in agony, teeth bared.
"I didn't do anything!" Ambianca sobbed.
Oh, Force, this was bad! Even as she watched, the arc of Far's body increased, until he was bent as tight as a bow, heels digging into the soft mud. His eyes were open but had rolled back into his head, their white, featureless glimmer eerie.
"Hold him down! Garos, get here now!"
Far's rainbow arch collapsed, landing him with a thud that could have broken ribs. Ambianca's grip on his wrists failed and an arm shot out, smacking her across the face, sending her skidding away with a nose-bleed. Romy evaded the frantic thrash of limbs and threw herself over the spasming torso, pinning him to the floor.
"Quil, Ambianca, an arm each. Garos, lie on his legs!" She grabbed a corner of the robe which covered him and jammed it between his teeth - already red with his own blood. He bucked under her; mad strength astonishing.
"I think...heee....we've got...heee...him under control," Garos panted at last. She turned her head to look at him. Was he really a such a rabid optimist?
Behind him shadows shifted; the very shape of the clearing bulged and contracted. Vampkis screamed and gibbered with awe.
Or had Garos forgotten that this was a Jedi Master? Far's power was not limited to his body. And if even that took four of them to subdue, how were they going to ride out the epileptic ferocity of his Force strength?
With a roar like a starliner taking off, the fire rocketed into the night - lit branches careening like autumn leaves in a storm. The mud they lay in boiled. Trees thrashed, creaking, and dying birds fell like rain.
Romy tightened her grip on her friend. "Harness it! Or we'll be sleeping in a crater tonight."
The ring of trees around the clearing burst simultaneously into devouring flame. There was no guarantee that the next thing to go up would not be Far himself, or one of them.
"I take that back. Forget everything else. Protect yourselves. Just hold on, everyone. Hold on and pray for it to be over."
Quilibet had never been so terrified in her life. She could feel the Force surging around her, out of control, raging against everything that stood in its way. Master Biwo was thrashing around again, too, almost ripping his arm out from under her. She tightened her grip instinctively, searching subconsciously for comfort and support through touch almost more than she was attempting to keep him down. It seemed like an eternity before she could reach out to her own little corner of the Force and find peace within the tempest, then command a small bubble of it to settle protectively around her. A flaming branch was deflected close to her face and she ducked automatically, pressing her head closer to Far and the ground.
At length, the storm eased. The ground stopped shaking, the trees stopped whipping back and forth, and the ring of fire around their clearing began to die down now that the Force was no longer keeping it burning. Master Biwo lay quiet and still in the mud underneath the four of them, and Quilibet lifted her head suddenly to look at his chest to see if it were still rising and falling. In the shadows, and under Romy, she couldn’t tell, and so she lifted a hand and placed it gingerly on the side of his neck, feeling for a pulse.
„What happened?“ Ambianca gasped. “What was wrong with him?“
„It was a kind of epileptic attack,“ Romy explained, pushing herself up. Far was now lying peacefully on his back, completely relaxed and with his eyes closed.
„He’s still alive,“ Quilibet said, sinking back onto her heels with relief.
„Of course he’s still alive!“ Garos snapped. “He’s just asleep, that’s all.“
Romy started to say something, then thought it over, and shut her mouth again. There was no need to torment the young padawan further by telling him that victims of epilepsy often died in their sleep following attacks. She thought back to the time she’d seen it happen, in the refugee camp on that planet in the Middle Rim. Funny, she hadn’t grieved for the young teenager then. The people on that planet hadn’t liked the idea of cremation, and there was never enough wood in the camp for fires anyway, so Romy had merely stomped off to dig yet another grave, and had waited, solemnly, to fill it in again after the father and brother had gone out of the makeshift cemetary. She hadn’t cried at all--then--so why were tears coming to her eyes now, why was her lower lip suddenly starting to tremble? Biting down hard on her lip, she stood up and glanced around the wrecked clearing. She had to concentrate on her present surroundings, and find answers for the problems that plagued them here and now, such as shelter and water. Food would be good, too.
Quilibet remained on her knees for a moment, tucking Master Biwo’s arm back under the cloak, then stood up as well. There was debris everywhere, but nothing left of their campsite.
„Let’s see how much wood we can gather to make another fire,“ said Romy suddenly. Quilibet immediately began searching the ground for loose branches, and came across a dead bird. She lifted it gently in her hand, then placed it on the ground next to Master Biwo, already seeing it transformed into supper. They’d lost the strips of roasting vampki in the Force-fit, and her stomach was painfully empty.
„Come on, Ambianca, Garos,“ Romy urged. They’d feel better if they were up doing something, and a fire would make the clearing seem more homely and less desolate, as she knew from experience.
Awkwardly, uncertainly, Ambianca stood up and began to follow Quilibet’s example, but Garos merely moved closer to Master Biwo’s head.
Before the fire in the trees was completely extinguished, Romy plunged in a branch and caught a flame, then used it to light the small pile of useful tinder that Quilibet and Ambianca had collected. They soon had a small blaze going, and Quilibet went back to the outer edges of the clearing to see what else she could find. The vampkis, no doubt more terrified than the humans had been, began creeping back to see what was going on now that it was so silent, and Quilibet heard an occasional soft chattering noise. She ignored them, picking up other branches that could be stripped of leaves and put in a pile next to the fire, and kept an eye out for more dead birds.
Instead, she came across a rock lizard first. It had been knocked onto its back and she was surprised to see how short its legs were, not longer than her little finger, but three times that thick. It was a miracle that the thing could move around at all, she thought, watching the tiny digits waving helplessly. She reached down, intending to turn it over and let it go, but was struck by the way the shell resembled the shape of a cooking pot. Surely they could use it to boil water in, now that they’d lost all their other utensils. Also, shells, as she knew from Master Nektanebos, often concealed tasty meat inside. The female Caamasi had been very fond of seafood that had to be worked out of shells.
Meat. Pot. What more could she ask for? They’d all benefit from it. Releasing a twinge of sorrow for the innocent animal into the Force, trying not to think about the phrase “cold blood“, and reaching out instead for comfort and confirmation that she was doing the right thing to ensure their survival, Quilibet drew her lightsaber and plunged it into the lizard’s face, making a quick, painless kill.
„Ooooh,“ came a horrified, awe-struck sound from the bushes. At first Quilibet thought that it was Ambianca and glanced up, ready to defend herself to the older padawan, but there was no one there. A moment later, however, she realised it must have been the vampkis. Well, never mind them. Clipping her lightsaber back to her belt, Quilibet tucked her branches under one arm, then leaned down to pick up the dead lizard. It was heavier than it looked, and she humped it back to the fire site, then set it down carefully with an “Ooomph.“
„What is that?“ Garos asked, having been watching her the entire time.
Quilibet dropped the branches in a pile a few steps away, then sat down. “I call it a rock lizard.“
Raising her voice to make it carry over to the other side of the clearing where Romy was picking up things, Quilibet called out, “Master, can I borrow your Bothan army knife?“
Romy lifted her head and tried to make out what Quilibet had caught, then came over to have a better look. “Is that one of those rock lizards?“
„It had been knocked over on its back, otherwise I never would have seen it,“ Quilibet reported, lifting up one of the limp legs and waving it a bit to demonstrate her point. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Garos’ look of horror. “Look, we can eat the meat and use the shell to boil water and make broth for Master Biwo.“
„Excellent, padawan,“ Romy smiled, pulling out the knife and handing it over.
„Master Nektanebos used to say, the harder the shell, the tastier the meat,“ Quilibet said, testing the underside of the animal with the point of the knife. It was very hard; too hard for her to risk using the knife on it. After a moment’s thought, she ignited her lightsaber and sheared the undershell off completely, taking the legs and lower jaw with it. Pushing the slice to one side, Quilibet reached in and began to pull out the entrails. The smell of blood and other things was intensive and unpleasant. Ambianca, who had come closer to put down a bundle of branches, made a face and moved away again very quickly.
„Chuuba!“ Garos exclaimed. “Do you have to do that right here?“
Quilibet stopped and looked at him. “Well, the fire is here, and I need to see what I’m doing.“
Garos fell into a sullen silence, and Quilibet pulled another handful of entrails out of the shell. It was harder to get the meat out, she had to do it in chunks and slices. She was almost finished when there was motion from the trees and a small procession of vampkis came out of the bushes, each walking on its hind legs and carrying something in its little hands. The first three vampkis came towards Quilibet and stopped at a respectful distance, then laid down their small burdens. In the dim firelight, she could just make out that they were dead birds. She stopped in the motion of reaching for them, however, when the vampkis lowered their heads to the ground, placing their chins flat on their paws. Was it the flickering light, or did they seem to be trembling a little? Afraid? Quilibet retracted her arm and folded her hands carefully in her lap, trying to make herself seem as non-threatening as possible. Almost as one, they rose up just a little and scooted backwards a step, then lowered their heads again. After they’d done it a third time, they turned and all but raced back to the bushes, leaving their companions behind.
The remaining vampkis now approached Master Biwo and Garos. Quilibet thought that some of them were shooting quick, anxious glances in her direction, but one by one, they came forward and placed a small blue fruit on the ground near Far’s hand, which was sticking out from under the cloak on that side. They did not bow, or cringe, or even tremble, but nuzzled the hand carefully instead and then went on their way.
„That was weird,“ said Garos when they’d gone. “Like they were making sacrifices. Oh, right! That's what my Master meant when he said he was a god. The Vampkis think he's a god--a good one, of course!
Then he narrowed his eyes at Quilibet and said, “They were terrified of you! You just had to go and kill one of them, didn’t you. And that rock lizard right in front of them. They must think you’re like the goddess of death or something.“
The goddes of death. The words wounded Quilibet almost as much as a blaster shot to the heart. She stared at Garos, thinking of all the deaths she’d seen in the last four years, starting with Master Nektanebos and ending with the rock lizard, and burst into tears. Dropping the knife, she lifted her hands to her face as she always did when she cried, but her fingers were covered with blood and reeked of it, too. She stared at her stained hands and sobbed even more. She was! She was really a goddess of death. Everything and everybody who came into contact with her died, at one point or another, and she was responsible! The blood on her hands wasn’t just physical, it was symbolic. Horrified, she began to rub her hands into the dirt, scrubbing at them in a frantic effort to rid them of the scarlet stain, ignoring the voice in her mind that told it was futile.
A moment later, Romy was there, catching her into an embrace. “No, Quilibet, it’s not true. You are not a goddess of death. You’re a wonderful padawan doing the best you can to survive under very difficult circumstances.“
„It won’t come off! It’ll never come off!“ Quilibet howled, looking at her hands again. The blood was still visible between her fingers, and the sight demoralised her. She collapsed sideways into Romy’s hug and continued to sob. Romy lifted her voice so that it carried over the din, and turned her head to give Garos a hard look. “That was an incredibly tactless thing to say to a girl who’s lost two masters, Padawan Hmiol.“
Garos glanced down at his own master, watching the man’s chest rise and fall in a comforting rhythm, and felt suddenly very petty and ashamed.
„Quilibet!“ Romy said sharply. “That’s enough! You are not a goddess of death. Stop it now.“
Quilibet’s sobs continued, making Garos feel even more uncomfortable.
„You’re a survivor, Quilibet. And there is no blood on your hands!“ Romy spoke the last words with the emphasis of the Force, which had the desired effect. Quilibet stopped crying and looked up, and Romy wiped the tears from the girl’s cheeks with her thumbs.
„S-sorry, master,“ she stammered, then began to rub her hands together, trying this time to rid them of the dirt.
„It’s all right. We’re all tired and under a lot of strain. It’s not an easy situation for any of us.“ Raising her voice again to include Garos, she added, “If we work together, we can survive, but not if we are constantly bickering with each other.“
After a moment, Garos mumbled, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.“
Then, quite suddenly, he stood up and began to help clear the campsite of debris.
Day 6 hour 13
Quilibet's face was quiet as she stirred the stew with a peeled stick. The flattering golden light of the fire could not erase the marks of her grief - the swollen eyes and streaks of tears among the dirt. Nor could it soften the lines of starvation on Ambianca's once kitten-plump features.
"Ambianca?" Garos asked. She looked up, suspicious at his uncharacteristically nice tone of voice.
"What?"
"Will you watch my Master for a moment?"
Romy had said he should be watched, as if she was afraid he'd stop breathing and they might not know until too late.
Currently, Garos was holding himself together by following Master Jinn's advice. He was concentrating on the moment with fierce focus. Look - this wasn't so bad. In this moment, all he had to think about was Ambianca's expression of delight; crackle of the fire; soft chatter of Mr Fluffy from the trees; smell of stew making him feel both nauseous and eager. He could cope with this.
The next moment arrived as he hunkered down beside Quil - a reproach in her quietness; a tension in the Force between them. In this instant the only thing he had to worry about was making that right.
"I didn't know you'd lost two masters," he offered softly. "I've been, well, worried, about stuff recently. Not paying much attention."
And again, the advice held. Quilibet's watery look of disbelief was bearable when he didn't need to wonder if it would ever change.
"I..." Quilibet didn't really want to deal with this now. Why couldn't he drop the subject - talk about something non-threatening for a change? But perhaps she had misjudged him? Did it make a difference if he hadn't really meant it? "Oh. alright."
"How did you survive it?"
"I don't want to talk about it, Garos."
"It's just that..." Garos didn't know if he could say this, but it seemed apt somehow to offer her his pain in exchange for what she had just been through. "Just that, I don't think I'm surviving even the possibility."
"Ah..." Her throat closed, she turned away.
Something in her very speechlessness touched a cord in him. "It's fine," he said, "Forget I mentioned it, alright?" But he felt vaguely comforted, just knowing there was someone who understood.
He held out the scoops of bark he'd pried from the trees. "Here, I thought we could eat with these."
She took them, with a delicacy appropriate to a peace offering. "Thankyou." Then, when he thought everything had been said, she looked at him, gingerly. "Do you really think I'm a goddess of death?"
"I never thought that." Typically she hadn't allowed him to explain before getting all upset; but he wasn't going to hold that against her. They were friends now.
"The vampkis think it, not me. It's actually quite exciting, the way they're developing - inventing religion in order to cope with us. We're looking at the birth of a culture here!"
"They're just pets, Garos. They're following us because, well, Master Biwo scares off the predators and makes food fall from the sky. Why wouldn't they want that?"
Romy stepped from the shadows, looking intrigued. "You think they could be intelligent?"
So she was talking to him too now? Good.
"I saw Boomerang - the tortoiseshell one - drawing on the ground just now."
"He couldn't have been using a stick to poke for insects? Wild vampkis are known to do that - they eat woodlice like Takkini crisps... So could we, come to that."
"It looked like drawing, Master Tenax. Lines and circles in the dirt, and he wasn't eating."
"I see," the Master frowned thoughtfully, "I suppose it's possible that the extreme Force fluctuations could have encouraged them to evolve. We'll have to handle this with a great deal of care and respect."
More thought, and then she smiled like the sun coming out. "Thankyou for your insight, Padawan Hmiol... Is the stew ready?"
"Yes, Master Tenax."
"We'll take it over by Far, so we can all eat together."
"Yes, Master Tenax."
It felt good to be forgiven. Somehow, Garos thought, if he could only be a perfect Jedi from now on then surely the Force would return his Master to him. He would be perfect, and he would make things turn out well.
They were talking about her, Ambianca thought as she watched the pulse flutter in Far's throat. At least, they were all talking without her, which was just as bad. And she had thought Quil was her friend.
Now they were even smiling - the tentative, deathmask grimace of the starving. Were they laughing at her? What were they saying?
She got up to interrupt their little clique, and Romy stopped her with a raised hand. "Stay where you are, Bianca, we're coming to you."
Bianca? At another time she might have been delighted by a pet name which was not insulting, but not from Romedon Tenax. The woman was just too poised, too powerful, too perfect. She made Ambianca feel small and mousy, just when she wanted to be an Alderaani debutante. What's more, Far - poor, injured, helpless Far, had recognised Romy by name. My name's Ambianca and don't you forget it!
Though she didn't want them on the other side of the fire plotting together, she didn't want them over here either. She wanted to be the one Far saw when he woke, so he would know who had cared for him while he slept. "Please don't bother," she said, "I'll just come and get some food. The cauldron's much to heavy, it's..."
But by that time they had set down the huge shell and were settling around her.
"Here," said Quil, handing her a piece of bark, "It's a spoon."
"Eargh!" Ambianca examined it minutely, "Look, it's got beetles in!"
"They come out if you tap it hard on something." Garos was looking not exactly better, but more comfortable, like a man in the infirmary who's found a position to lie in where it doesn't hurt. She wondered if he'd been making a play for Quilibet. Wondered too how she would break it to Maye when they got home.
"Now, Padawans," Romy paused before the pot, "We'll eat only a couple of scoops today. We've been starved and our stomachs need time to stretch. Stuff and it could kill you."
Everyone knew that, Ambianca thought. Romy was just talking to hear the sound of her own voice. She dipped the scoop and nibbled on the hot, glutinous mass. It tasted mostly of wood ash from the fire, and there was none of the rapture she'd expected. It actually hurt to eat.
"At least Far looks as if he hasn't gone hungry," said Romy, looking down on the sleeping Master with obvious fondness. They had arranged themselves around him as though he was a fire, and now their faces were uplit by his glow.
"He was eating these things," Garos lifted one of the moonlike fruit the vampkis had so reverently offered. "He had a pocketful of them."
"A bit of fruit would be nice," said Romy cheerfully, taking it, but she didn't eat. She handed it to Quilibet. "What does the critic say?"
The test took a worryingly long time to complete. It was obviously a complex chemical entity, this fruit.
"Wow!" said Quilibet at last, "Well that explains a lot."
"What?"
"There's a euphoric agent, an analgesic and a bioluminescant factor. Basically it takes away pain, makes you very happy, and you start to glow. Oh, and it's highly addictive."
"Not to be taken lightly then," said Romy, in a tone of voice that left it in doubt whether the dreadful pun had been intended or not.
"Not to be taken at all, I would have thought," Quil replied seriously.
When Romy bent over the pot to scrape out another scoop of stew, Ambianca took the opportunity to slip one of the fruits into her tunic. How could she turn down the opportunity to be happy for a change? Besides, imagine Far's reaction when he woke up and saw her shining silver as a goddess beside him.
Who cared if it was addictive? The Vampkis could always bring them more, and if Quil didn't want to be a deity, well Ambianca wouldn't mind it. The thought of having hoards of worshipful followers, even if they were smelly, hairy mutts, was not an unattractive one.
It could be like that holodrama, she thought wistfully. The one where the family are marooned on a forsaken jungle planet. The parents die and the baby is raised by sandpanthers. Then he grows up to become king of the beasts, meets a young lady (conveniently shipwrecked on the same world) and they settle down into a rustic idyll; rulers of all they survey.
When the others were busy she mashed the fruit into her stew and swallowed it. It tasted like sump oil and capers.
"Is there water near here?" Romy asked, breathing a silent sigh of relief that the Padawans were all sitting quietly together and not trying to kill each other.
"I don't think so." Garos had taken up position opposite Ambianca and was watching her narrowly over Far's prone body. It might have amused Romy to see her quiet friend being fought over so jealously, had the circumstances been different; had she been able to look at him without fear. He had been asleep a very long time now.
"Then I suggest we make our way to the city."
"There's a city?" Ambianca spoke up. Since every word she had said so far had been a complaint Romy braced herself. "Cool! Can we go now?"
No doubt the girl's head was filling with thoughts of power-showers, shopping arcades, beauty salons, manicurists... Romy could have kicked herself. "It's a ruined city," she clarified, "Quil and I found one of the outer defences. The technology seemed pretty dark ages, but there should be water cisterns and maybe vegetable gardens too."
She looked up at Boomerang, who was picking through the charcoal of a burnt branch and hooting appreciatively. "And we seem to have acquired rather a lot of mouths to feed."
"That's really great," said Ambianca with enthusiasm. "Ruins are such fun!"
"How are we going to find it?" Quil asked, looking at Ambianca in shock.
Don't knock it, Quil, Romy thought, Perhaps she's finally decided to join in and be upbeat. We could use a little cheer right now. "The Force will guide us, Padawan."
A sway and patter of burnt branches interrupted her thoughts as the vampki tribe fell from the trees like long-haired rain. "Now what are they up to?"
Mr Fluffy came close enough to pluck at her sleeve, tiny claws pricking through the loose woven material.
He wants me to step aside? She was reluctant to let the feral creature through the circle of Jedi. Reluctant to let it close to the injured, possibly dying man. But she had said herself that the little beasts were worthy of respect. She got up and moved aside.
Immediately a flood of hairy bodies converged on Master Biwo. Scores of little hands lifted him and began to carry him across the clearing, into the woods.
"Wait." Romy started forward, Garos and Quil on their feet instantly behind her. In the darkness the speckled shapes of the vampkis were invisible, and it looked as though Far levitated a foot above the ground, still sleeping peacefully. "Wait!"
Boomerang gambolled urgently around her legs. "Choo," he said, meaningfully, "Choo choo."
Ambianca giggled, white hands pressed to her mouth, as Far's body continued its ghostlike float into the night. And for a moment Romy had no idea at all what to do. Were they kidnapping him?
"No! Bring him back!"
He disappeared into the undergrowth. "Bad dog!" said Ambianca and burst out laughing.
Day 7, Hour 1
Romy raised her head from the ground where she’d been sleeping, and looked around stiffly. It was dark, even darker than when she’d closed her eyes. Master Biwo was not far away, still glowing brightly in the little nest that the vampkis had made for him. They’d allowed the others to come along, but there’d been only one nest. The humans had been left to find their own places to settle down. Ambianca was as close to Master Biwo as she could get on his left hand side, and Garos was even closer on his right. After observing that the vampkis tried to stay as far away from her as they could, Quilibet had crept into a dry spot under a tree several steps away from the nest, and Romy had joined her, anxious that her padawan should not feel completely ostracised.
The blue glow moved suddenly into a vertical position and Romy could see his head turn as he glanced around, then came in her direction, ignoring the rain. A moment before he reached their tree, his hands went to the bottom of his tunic and Romy realised suddenly what he was about to do.
„I’m afraid this tree is taken, Far,“ she called out.
„Oops, sorry,“ he replied, heading away from her. “I’ll just look for the little boys’ tree.“
When he came back, she asked, “How are you feeling?“
„Muchly relieved, thank you.“
„I meant your head.“
„Do you know, I think it’s healing,“ he said, gently prodding the wound. “It doesn’t feel quite as broken as it did yesterday.“
„Well, that’s a relief. Still, you’d better sit down.“ Romy crept out from under the leaves and placed a hand on Far’s elbow, ready to guide him back to the nest. At that moment, Garos raised his head. “Master? Are you all right?“
„Quite well, thank you, Invisible Boy,“ Far said.
„Garos, master. My name is Garos!“
„Pleased to make your acquaintance, Garos. My name is...“
„Far,“ Garos said slowly. “Far Biwo. Remember?“
„Far. Yes, of course,“ Far replied as he sat down. On his left hand side, Ambianca popped up and scooted closer, staring at him intently. “Hello, Master Biwo. Are you feeling better this morning?“
„I’m fine, yes, thank you.“
„Are you sure?“ Garos asked, scooting even closer on the right hand side and throwing Ambianca a very annoyed look.
„Yes, I’m sure,“ the master replied, sounding quizzical now and no doubt wondering why they were all so concerned about his health. No doubt he didn’t remember anything after collapsing into her arms.
„Good, because I have to ... uh ... you know,“ Garos mumbled, standing up and going the back the way Far had just come.
„The little boys’ tree is on the -left-, In--uh--Garos!“ Far called out suddenly.
There was a moment of sheer silence, and then hasty footsteps, and Quilibet’s voice came floating out of the darkness. “Thank you, Master Biwo!“
„You are heartily welcome, my dear!“
From Ambianca’s corner came a noise that sounded suspiciously like a grunt of disappointment, and Romy turned to give the girl a hard look. But Ambianca was holding her head in one hand and staring miserably at the ground, and Romy quickly decided she probably just had a headache.
After they’d built another fire, heated up the stew, and each of them had had a few bites, Romy said, “All right, we’re going to look for that city to-day.“
„But it’s dark and it’s raining,“ said Ambianca sourly. Her enthusiasm for the ruins had obviously disappeared overnight.
Far chewed contemplatively on one of the blue fruits that the vampkis had placed within easy reach of the nest, and Romy did not miss Ambianca’s sudden, greedy stare. She’d have to watch the girl.
„We need water and we need shelter.“ Romy said firmly. “We don’t know how long this rain will last. Far, do you think you can walk, or should we carry you?“
„We should carry him,“ Garos spoke up.
„Carry me? It’s my head that’s broken, not my legs, you know,“ Far replied with a touch of indignation, looking down at his limbs as though wondering if they saw something he didn’t. “I was able to make it to the lava-tree and back, so I do think that I can walk.“
„You didn’t feel dizzy?“ Romy asked. “Listless, disoriented, excessively tired?“
Far thought for a moment, then said, “No.“
„Good. We’ll let you walk if you promise to speak up first thing if you start feeling weak or ill.“
„I swear by my Betty, Master Battle-Ax.“ Far gave his lightsaber an affectionate pat. Romy was tempted to ask why he’d given it such a silly name, then remembered his head injury, and the way he obviously had not known it was a weapon. Fleetingly wondering exactly what he did think it was, Romy wished An-Paj were there to tell them that such behaviour was normal and--more importantly--could be cured with a little time and Force.
„But what about the ship, master?“ Quilibet spoke up. “The city might well be in the opposite direction.“
Romy was aware of Ambianca stretching and then scratching vigorously under her tunic as she answered, “The city is closer, padawan, and even if Master Biwo is capable of walking now, for a short distance, he has been hurt recently and we should allow him time to recover completely, out of the rain, before leaving all amenities behind.“
„And didn’t you say something about ruined vegetable gardens?“ Garos asked.
Romy felt her mouth water at the thought of real food, and reached into the Force for control.
„That would be an added bonus. I will meditate for a few moments and consult the Force as to the direction.“ Romy closed her eyes, aware of Far’s surprised stare, and reached out into the Force. It was more powerful than usual now, but did not have the terrifying strength that she’d experienced before. The background interference was correspondingly high, but she was able to reach beyond it, and after a while, she lifted one arm and pointed, then opened her eyes. “That way.“
They set out immediately with Romy at the vanguard, holding the glow rod that Quilibet had forgotten had been hanging on her belt when they’d raced out of the tunnel. It lit up the rain nicely. Far and Garos were in the middle, and Quilibet and Ambianca at the rear. The vampkis followed, or rather, accompanied them on all sides. Romy made a point of stopping approximately every half hour to check on Far, but he seemed to be holding up well enough. Each time they stopped, he ate one of the fruits that he was carrying around in his tunic, and continued to glow nicely. Ambianca had also found something to nibble on, perhaps a piece of meat left over from breakfast, but she continued to look pale. Her mood had improved as they’d gone along, however, and Romy was grateful.
Eventually, the city wall loomed ahead of them. It was three times as high as a Wookiee and perfectly straight. At the top, there were battlements that stuck out about thirty centimeters. Quilibet went to the wall and placed her hand on one of the bricks, then said, “There’s a gate not far away, over there.“
„How do you know?“ Ambianca asked.
„The Force tells me,“ Quilibet replied matter-of-factly.
Far slapped his tunic in several places and came up empty each time, then bent down and began to stroke the nearest vampki, shaking the water from his fingers after each pat and seeming to communicate with the beast by means of yips and yowls. When he straightened up again, he announced, “Mint Humbug is going to bring us some more fruits.“
„Is his name Mint Humbug?“ Quilibet asked, coming closer as the animal bounded off back the way they’d come. “Are any of them named Jelly Baby?“
She probably hadn’t expected a positive answer, had probably just been asking for the fun of it, but Far replied, “Yes, this one over here. How did you know?“
Beaming proudly, he led her to the nearest animal and leaned down to give it an affectionate rub. The vampki, however, seeing Quilibet coming in his direction, dropped its front paws and rested its head on them, then crept backwards a few steps. Quilibet froze, looking hurt.
„That’s funny, they’ve never done that before,“ Far said, looking bewildered.
„Come on, let’s get out of this rain,“ Garos cut in suddenly, grabbing Far by the arm and pulling him around to walk where Quilibet had indicated.
The great metal doors of the city stood wide open, and they passed through, discovering that the walls were as thick as a man was tall. Inside, a wide boulevard stretched ahead of them, with empty buildings lining either side. Garos was pulling Far towards the closest one that still had a roof.
„The king’s palace is in the middle,“ Quilibet said. She’d knelt down and placed both hands flat on the paving stones of the boulevard. Ambianca was looking at her with a faint expression of disgust, as though that particular aspect of the Force was below her.
„That makes sense, to have it in the most protected place,“ Romy nodded. “But why don’t we camp here for now? This is good enough, and we can explore later, when it’s light.“
„Well, there were gardens near the palace,“ Quilibet explained. “Lots of fruit trees and special vegetables. And a bath house built to take advantage of a natural hot spring.“
„Bath house? Hot spring?“ Ambianca cried.“What are we waiting for? Come on, lead the way!“
The palace was huge, but Quilibet led them safely through the deserted corridors and courtyards, only occasionally stopping to “get directions“ from a wall, until they came to a section that smelled faintly of sulphur, and went through an archway to see a huge black rectangular pool in front of them, open to the sky and quivering with raindrops. There was a covered walkway all the way around it, as far as they could see.
„Here we are,“ said Quilibet.“The main pool. The nobles used to gather here to swim and exchange news, to see and be seen. Around the back there are changing rooms, and some smaller hot and cold pools. And one of the alcoves on that side leads out into the gardens. You couldn’t go out nude, of course. That was against the law. But once you were dressed, you could go out and walk there.“
Ambianca giggled and knelt down at the side of the pool to dip her hand in. “It’s warm!“
„Do the other baths have roofs?“ Romy asked.
„Yes, the ones back here. They’re much smaller than this, of course.“
„If there are two hot pools, then one will be for the boys and one for the girls. Otherwise, we’ll have to take turns,“ Romy decided.
„Girls first,“ Ambianca was quick to claim.
„There are several,“ Quilibet reported. “Almost enough for each of us to have our own--almost.“
They went back to have a look.
Day 7 hour 7
Whose hand was this? Whose arms were these, carrying dead wood in from the gardens to feed the fire in the centre of the great hall? Was this Far's hand, or was it Pure's?
He tried to put one of the larger logs in the hearth, but the boy called Garos was there in front of him, snatching the thing, looking at him with reproach. "You stay back, Master."
He was not allowed to feed the fire. It irked him a little; or part of him; or one of him. You're subject to epileptic fits, said Far's voice in his head, Of course you must stay away from the blaze. But Pure said Look, it's so beautiful. And I am a god.
Chains hung from the ceiling - anchored far above in smoky blackness, where rafters made of whole trees braced the stone roof. With them, Garos had made a platform to dry their newly washed clothes. They hung there now, steaming gently, white cloth turning to ivory, and cream to brown as the woodsmoke stained them. But it was better than the caked mud.
Stripped to his shorts and after a couple of hours sweeping the debris out of the hall - rotten tapestries, splintered furniture decayed and mouldy - the Padawan looked grimy, starved and disgruntled. Both of them wanted to do something for him.
"Are you Saved, Garos?" Pure got there first, taking a pastel fruit out of his billycan and offering it. "Try it. It's just amazing the way everything connects. It's awesome. Go on."
Somehow the clear invitation into a world of heightened meaning seemed to distress Invisible Boy. He hadn't meant for that to happen. "It's alright," Pure said, sadly. It was a little lonely being in possession of all of the secrets of the universe and not to be able to share them. "Even the vampkis won't take it. I'm not going to make you."
Garos stared at the floor for a while, embarrassed, and then burst out, "You'd think they'd be out of the bath by now!"
"Look at it this way," He didn't know who spoke, the words came from some source he was not able to identify - he supposed it was himself. Did that mean there were three of him? "At least we've finished now. When the women get out of the bath they'll have to skin and gut the thingy Boomerang brought us for tea. Then they'll have to do the cooking. Whereas we can get straight out of the water and be handed our food."
"I...suppose." Garos seemed very interested in the floor - and it was a good floor, paved and patterned with little coloured stones. A cat-like people were having a feast down there, lounging on ornate recliners by the warmth of the long fire. "Master? Are you feeling any better?"
"We're mostly confused, Invisible Boy. Sometimes it hurts so much I just want to lie down, and sometimes it's as if I had the whole universe inside my head. Far doesn't remember anything, and Pure is very sure, but he's often wrong. And sometimes I can't remember which one I'm supposed to be."
He smiled hopefully, "Does that help?" But had the impression that he'd not made the boy any happier. If only Garos would take the fruit, then he'd see it didn't really matter anyway. "Well, how about a walk then? We'll go the long way round to the pools and tell those girls it's our turn."
The door opened onto a covered colonnade, moist and warm in the planet's tropical night. In the light of twisting aurora the gardens had a dishevelled, elfin beauty about them - a riot and tangle of flowers. Trees with faintest aquamarine blossom canopied the archway through into the gnarled quiet of an ancient orchard. Among the moss and dead wood hung fruit that Garos recognised. "This is muja, Master, this is frothapple..." The fermented smell of windfall made them both cough and laugh as the boy ran through the avenues of abundance.
The cool pool of the bath complex was huge - swimming pool sized and covered with water lilies. Fish swam there - gliding shadows and glints under the flowers - but the water was so clear one could still see the fangs of the people who smiled in the mosaic on the bottom.
Unfortunately the complex of small hot pools had not been so lucky. The hottest had completely calcified, draining the supply to the graded series beneath it. Only the large hot bath in the covered chamber remained - dark and steaming. Far remembered to knock. "Can we come in?"
There was a certain stir after singlets and shorts and then Romy called out "Yes, of course."
Oh, it was wonderful to sink into stinging hot water deep enough to stand in. He shut his eyes in bliss and let Garos tell the others that their clothes were dry, firewood was cut and space cleared for them to sleep.
"And how about you, Far? Are you alright?"
He looked at Romy; her mahogany hair plastered to her head, her blue eyes concerned, and felt reassured. Here was someone he could coalesce a personality around. An anchor. Hadn't they served together in...oh...that place with all those huge snaky things?
"Fine, thankyou."
"This is good, isn't it?" she said, quietly in the steamy closeness, "I'm wondering if there's any point in our trying to find the ship."
"We were starving, and there were monsters," said Ambianca dreamily, "And now we've got a bath and a proper roof over our heads..."
"And an orchard!" Garos offered,
"And a sure supply of water," Quil added.
"So perhaps we should stay here and let the rescuers come to us."
Rescuers? Pure thought, Why do I need to be rescued? This is where I belong.
The scrape of claws on tile made them all jump, but it was only Mint Humbug, Scuz and Marmaduke skittering curiously over the slick floor. And what about them? They need me.
"How are they going to know where we are?" Quilibet asked, her face sharpening with thought after the blankness of relaxation. "Can we build some sort of beacon?"
"That's a good idea," Romy smiled, "We could build a signal fire on top of one of those pyramids. It might even attract other survivors."
Scuz had come up to him and seemed to be enjoying the novelty of being able to look at him eye to eye. Gently he washed the surface of the water over the little thing's tightened feet.
"Eeep!" Scuz leapt straight into the air, came down with a splash into the bath - fountaining water over 'Humbug and Marmaduke even as they snuffled with laughter. Before long all three had jumped in and were paddling gleefully around, or trying to cling to his bare shoulders with their sharp claws. Swimming their round hairy forms looked bizarre - like floating heads.
"I think this is where we get out," said Romy, grinning. "If I can work out how, I'll send Boomerang to get you when dinner's ready. Garos, keep an eye on him and make sure if he starts showing any signs of distress you get him out of the water."
"Yes, Master Tenax."
So he was to be nursemaided even here? Of course, said Far. I wonder if Scuz would like to be thrown. Pure thought, trying to distract himself from the idea of leaving his tribe behind and going somewhere that in his patchy memory was full of threat. He couldn't say he really fancied it. But there didn't seem to be anyone here who could understand that. If he wasn't so happy, he might almost be depressed.
Ambianca stopped on the way to the door and knelt down to whisper in his ear. "Have you seen the fishes in the big pool? They know! They told me all about it."
It was only visible inside this enclosed darkness, and then only when you looked for it, but along Ambianca's white arms there ran a slight, mother-of-pearl gleam. "Ambianca!" he said, delighted, "You've been enlightened. How wonderful!"
Oh Force! thought Far, faintly, while Pure spread his arms across the side of the pool and smiled. He should have had more faith. He should have known everything would turn out alright.
Week 2, Day 1, Hour 6
„We could light a bonfire up at the top of this and use it as a signal beacon,“ Romy said, staring up at the giant pyramid that took up almost the entire eastern quadrant of the city. It was taller than the walls by half as much again, but they hadn’t seen it when they’d arrived in the darkness. Still, a great bonfire at the top of that would be visible for kilometers around. When it was daytime, like now, they could add lots of leafy branches to make thick smoke. That would draw the attention of any other Jedi out in the nearby jungle.
The day before had been quiet. They’d done little and talked less. Now that the sun had come up again, so had their spirits, or so it seemed, and Quilibet had asked for permission to explore, partly to see if there was anything they might be able to use, but also partly from sheer curiosity.
„I’d like to go too,“ Ambianca had announced, and in the end, they’d all left the safety of the great hall near the baths and walked out into the moss-paved streets. It was Far who’d suggested that they head for the pyramid by claiming that Boomerang had been drawing it the night before. Although Romy had seen Boomerang scratching with the charred end of a twig on a log split by a lightsaber, she hadn’t been close enough to see if he’d actually drawn a pyramid on purpose, or just a random set of lines that had eventually formed a triangle.
„Come on,“ said Garos.“Let’s go to the top and see what we can see.“
He began to mount the steps, then looked back in concern at his master, obviously wondering if the climb would be too much for him. But Far smiled benevolently and followed him, and the vampkis swarmed up as well, hopping nimbly and speedily from one step to the next.
Quilibet stopped and put her hand against the stone, wondering what the pyramid had been used for and reaching out with the Force in order to find out. The Force was fluctuating towards the stronger side this morning, and she expected to absorb many facts about the construction of the pyramid and its purposes, maybe even some scenes about that last great battle which had certainly raged near here. To her great surprise, there was nothing. She waited, confused, but the longer she stood there, the more it reminded her of a black hole, pulling in everything around it and releasing nothing. As soon as the analogy came into her head, she snatched her hand away, feeling rather spooked.
„Quil?“ Romy asked. “What did you see?“
„Nothing,“ she replied, trying to shake the feeling. “Nothing at all.“
„I can feel something,“ said Ambianca, trying to sound important and ending up sounding gleeful that she knew something Quilibet didn’t. “There’s something waiting here for us.“
Romy glanced at her, hearing the over-cheerful sounds and knowing what they meant. Even in bright sunlight, Ambianca glowed ever so faintly blue.
„Bianca, what have I told you about those fruits?“ she demanded. She’d discovered Ambianca’s secret the night before and had given the girl a stern lecture, but apparantly, it hadn’t helped.
„I need to stay enlightened,“ Ambianca giggled.
„She certainly does,“ Far agreed. “Come on, Battle-Ax, try it. You’d be amazed.“
„Far,“ said Romy, reaching into the Force for patience, “it’s a drug. It affects your brain and gives you a false sense of happiness and well-being, and the key word here is “false“. It’s also highly addictive, and therefore breaking the habit is going to be very, very difficult. It’s better not to start in the first place.“
„That’s a good name for you,“ Ambianca commented lazily. “Battle-Ax.“
„More than you know,“ Romy replied tartly.
„Come on,“ Ambianca giggled, running back down the steps and giving Quilibet’s arm a tug. “Come on! We don’t need to know the whole history of this thing! We just need to know what we can see from the top!“
Quilibet stumbled and went down on one knee, putting out her free hand to stop her fall. She almost expected to feel burned when her bare skin came in contact with the pyramid, but there was nothing more than the feeling of cool stone beneath her fingers. After a moment, she decided it was because she wasn’t actively using the Force, and got up. Maybe Ambianca was right. Maybe they didn’t need to know the history of the pyramid. Maybe the most important thing really was what they could see from the top. Hopefully, it would be the Kaligari.
There was a rectangular chamber at the top of the pyramid with a flat roof and only one opening. Garos had chosen to walk around the outside, though, staring out across the jungle, and then coming back to where the rest of them were just finishing the climb up the steps. “I think I see something. Over there.“
„Could be one of the guard towers,“ Romy said, looking where he was pointing. Enhancing her senses with the Force, she nodded. “Yes. Just a guard tower.“
Garos looked faintly disappointed.
„Look here, Boomerang,“ Far was saying, picking up the tortoiseshell vampki and showing it some of the scenes chiselled into the stone on the side of the rectangular room. The other vampkis crowded around his feet for a few moments, standing up on their hind legs in an attempt to see as well, then lost interest and wandered away. Quilibet knew better than to get too close to them, and moved in the opposite direction. Romy had the scanner out, but quickly put it away again.
„Too much static,“ she frowned.
„What do you think is inside?“ Ambianca asked.
„Maybe a few birds’ nests,“ Quilibet said.
„Come with me, let’s find out.“
Quilibet followed Ambianca inside and waited for her eyes to get used to the dark interior. It was cool in here--no, it was downright cold! She shivered and rubbed her bare arms. It hadn’t been this cold in the tunnel.
„There’s smoke,“ Ambianca said, pointing to the stone altar in the middle of the chamber. Quilibet looked, but couldn’t see what she meant. “Where?“
„Here. Don’t you see it? It’s almost shaped like a human. Spooky!“
„I don’t see anything.“
Far had come to the doorway, still holding Boomerang. “Anything interesting in here, girls?“
Only the vehemence of Boomerang’s reaction surprised Quilibet, not the fact that he reacted at all. He stood up straight in Far’s arms, then clawed his way over the man’s shoulder and ran down his back until he could jump to the surface and race away from the entry.
„Boomerang?“ Far asked, turned slightly and rubbing his shoulder where the claws had sunk in.
„I’m sorry, Master Biwo,“ Quilibet said sadly. “He must have seen me.“
„He’s never reacted that way before, not even to you,“ Far said, coming in. “Maybe he didn’t like that smoke here.“
„What smoke?“ Quilibet demanded.
„There, on that altar. It’s funny, isn’t it, Ambianca? Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, but there’s no fire here. It’s awfully cold in here, actually. And smoke usually goes up vertically ... not horizontally.“
„It’s almost shaped like a human, isn’t it, Master Biwo?“ Ambianca asked eagerly.
Quilibet decided privately that this was a hitherto unknown side effect of those pastel fruits, and sidled along the wall until she could slip behind Master Biwo, who was agreeing with Ambianca, and go out into the warm sunshine again. Romy was on the other side of the pyramid, staring up at the flat roof of the chamber, but when she caught sight of Quilibet out of the corner of her eye, she turned her head and smiled.
„Master, they’re seeing things,“ Quilibet reported quietly.
„What sort of things?“ Romy didn’t need to ask who „they“ were.
„They both claim there’s smoke inside on the altar, and Ambianca keeps insisting that it’s shaped like a human.“
„The critic didn’t say anything about hallucinogens,“ Romy frowned. “Euphoric agent, analgesic, and bioluminescent factor, wasn’t it?“
Quilibet nodded slowly. “Maybe it’s just me ... I didn’t see anything, but I didn’t feel anything when I touched the pyramid before, though.“
„Try it now?“ Romy suggested.
Hesitantly, Quilibet put her hand on the wall of the chamber. The feeling was stronger this time and she almost had the feeling that she herself was being sucked in. Panicking, she opened her eyes and snatched her hand away.
„What?“
„It’s like a black hole. At first, there was nothing, but then it started to feel like a black hole, pulling me in.“
„You didn’t feel that anywhere else in this city?“
„No.“ After a moment, she added, “Master, I’d like to go down now.“
„All right, if it spooks you that badly.“
Quilibet nodded.
„But wait near the pyramid for the rest of us, please. I’ll get Garos to help me with the bonfire.“
Quilibet went back around towards the steps, passing by where Boomerang was obviously waiting for Far to come out again. He dropped his chin to his forepaws as she passed by, watching her with his beady eyes, but made no further attempt at escape, and she wondered about his flight from inside the chamber.
Week 2, Day 1 hour 20
Ambianca struggled up the last step of the pyramid. Perhaps it was just that the platform with its odd windowless hut was above the tree level and so caught breezes one couldn't feel below, but somehow it was always cold here. Sweat from the climb and the humid jungle heat cooled and trickled down her back like ice water, the sudden change making her feel feverish.
She dumped her load of wet branches beside the signal fire. "I've come to relieve Garos, Master Biwo."
Garos scowled at her and unnecessarily arranged some of the damp leaves on top of the smoking fire. He doesn't trust me to look after his poor, injured Master. He thinks I'll miss something and let Far fall off the pyramid or into the fire or something. Before she had become enlightened the thought would have made her bitterly unhappy, and the unhappiness would have made her bitter. Now she just smiled, "It's alright, Garos. I promise I won't hurt him."
"He's not...he's not himself right now. Don't try and, well... take advantage of him."
Ambianca giggled. "He's a Jedi Master and a god, Garos. The chance'd be a fine thing."
"Master Tenax told you to cut out eating those fruits."
"She could do with being enlightened herself. So could you. Here..." she pulled the bundle of them out of the firewood and offered him one, "Try it. Just one - you need it after sitting up here." Even beneath the pleasant glow of euphoria Ambianca could feel the very stones beneath her crying out that something was wrong.
"They must have done sacrifices." she said, working it out as she went, "And thrown the bodies down the steps. The rain would have washed the blood away, but the vampkis can still smell it, inside there on the altar. That's why they won't come up any more."
"You've suddenly got a history talent like Quil's?" Garos didn't look as sure as he sounded, and although he had not moved away from the fire goosebumps had come up along his arms.
"Can you think of any other explanation?"
Garos shrugged and trotted away down the many stairs. Though she'd hoped for hours that he'd leave, still there was part of her that didn't want to be left alone. Where was Master Biwo?
She added another log to the fire and sat down with her back to the dark hole of the door. Oh no. Now that was bad - that was to feel on the back of her neck the breath of all the nightmare horrors she could imagine, all of them stalking invisibly out of the door. There was something there, there was
No there really was! A discarded twig snapped behind her. She leapt to her feet, "AAAaa!", lightsabre in hand.
"Nature calls," said Far sheepishly, spreading his hands in a calming gesture.
She looked behind him to the entrance of the 'holy' place and felt wobbly with adrenaline, but almost gleeful. "You've been pissing on the altar, Master Biwo?!"
"I felt an urge to," he explained seriously, looking worried now. "I can't explain why, but it didn't seem to be worthy of any kind of respect."
"You're seriously wierd, Master Far," she said in admiration. She wouldn't have dared enter that place a second time - not even to repudiate it in such a graphic way.
"I hope so," said Far quietly, settling into a kneeling position beside the fire. "I do hope so. I can't think what else would have possessed me to do something so - now that I think about it - well...pointed."
"You don't think it was your, your god personality?"
"Pure?" he said. It was the first time Ambianca had heard the name the god part of him called itself. How right, she thought. That's exactly what he is; Pure.
"It may have been him. It may have been the Force. I don't know. But I know there are some things which are just waste. You have to get rid of them or they poison you. Whatever made me do that, I think that's what it was trying to tell me."
"Master Biwo." Ambianca paced the outskirts of the fire, looking for a place from which she could no longer see the door, "I don't like it up here. Can I sit next to you?"
He patted the ground beside him, and she came and sat just close enough to touch shoulder and hip together. It felt better. The fire burnt with a sullen smoulder, a long exclamation mark of greyish smoke going straight up from it in the windless air. It didn't seem to give out any heat, but Far's side did. She relaxed against it and gradually he put his arm about her in a companionable hug.
A breeze must have picked up - the smoke billowed strangely against the sky. Ambianca could almost imagine faces - catlike faces like Tanni's, their fanged mouths screaming silently. She rubbed her eyes. Sensing auras was a Jedi thing, but this must just be fantasy.
"That blow on the head must have done more damage than I like to think." Far mused, his incandescant eyes narrowed at the fume. "I keep thinking I see faces."
"Oh Force! You too?" She scrambled to her feet - of course the faces were gone when she looked again. "We have to tell the others!"
"I don't think they'd believe me." said Pure with a rueful smile, "But perhaps you...?"
For a moment the gnawing dread and darkness of this place was almost better than the thought of her own lonliness amid the other Jedi. "They won't believe me either, Master Far. No one ever does - they all hate me."
She sat down again. This time the hug was a little tighter, so - if she tried hard - she could believe there was more behind it than just reassurance. "No one hates you, Ambianca. It's just that you're the White Witch's invisible girl, and the White Witch didn't exactly teach you how to make friends did she?"
When they didn't blame her, they always blamed her Master, and it was so unfair. "She couldn't teach me something she didn't know herself. She tried her best... Do you think she's alright?"
Far looked at the untroubled cloud, and at the opened gape of the unholy place. "She's probably a lot better off than we are," he said.
"No, Garos, the wrist should twist and the arm should be angled downwards - like running water." Romy took hold of Garos' forearm and adjusted its position minutely. "There - imagine water running down it. Quil, your back should be straighter. All your weight on the bent leg, ready to spring into the jump."
Quilibet wobbled slightly, her face a mask of determination and pain. Watching it Romy bent down in concern. "Is your knee bad?"
"My legs have gone to jelly," Quil offered, apologetically. "I must...I don't know why I'm so unfit."
They had only done this kata five times, and yet both of the Padawans were breathing heavily, red faced. Romy herself felt drained, her joints achy as if she had some kind of infection. When she'd brushed her hair after the bath more of it had been left on the comb than seemed natural.
Radiation sickness? The moon seemed subject to just about everything else. Why not.
"Alright, we'll take a breather. Sit in meditation position and do the kata five times correctly in your head. Then we'll try it again."
If it was radiation sickness - or indeed any other kind of sickness - there was little they could do. She tried to be Jedi about it and not feel that it was one unfairness too many, but really, why was this little moon so cursed?
She sank down to kneel on the flagstones of the great court under the pillar of smoke from the pyramid. The large assembly area was working out fine as a training area for the padawans, and now that some of the urgencies of survival had been dealt with it was pleasant to re-establish the normality of teaching.
Mr Fluffy and the tribe had brought two of the rock lizards in today, so everyone would eat well. They had water and shelter so perhaps now was the time to deal with the problem of Far and Ambianca's chemical dependency. Romy had hoped to put it off until it could be done in the Infirmary - with a team of Jedi healers on hand to ease any unfortunate symptoms. But really, if the two of them were beginning to hallucinate...
She shook her head. 'Strange smoke above the altar.' 'Almost like a man'.
It had to be stopped before it became dangerous. It had already spooked Quil. Romy had noticed that her padawan tried to avoid looking at the pyramid, and would not enter its shadow.
It would be too much. Just too much coincidence if after all the monsters and giant predators we've run from on this trip there was something wrong in the city too.
A small hand scratched at her boot enquiringly. She recognised the presence of Boomerang and opened her eyes to give the little creature a smile.
He looked agitated. "Choo," he said, pulling at the hem of her tunic, "Choo, choo." That meant - she smiled at the memory of him chanting it while the tribe carried Far to the nest they'd made - something like 'come' or 'travel', or possibly even 'carry'. "You want me to come with you? Or to carry you?"
When she got up he bounced around behind her and began to push at her booted calves. She got the message. "Go on, I'll follow you."
To one side of the great square was a long, narrow aisle between two towering walls. At one point they must have been five or six stories high, and the walls were lime-washed, brilliant white, smooth as plaster.
There was a scatter of burnt twigs underfoot and scribbles like a circuitboard all over the foot of the wall. He wants me to look at his art? Romy thought, feeling touched, as if a toddler had made her a gift. She knelt and peered at the tiny drawings. At vampki scale this was an epic.
Looking at the scrawls at the top first made Boomerang growl. He had very ...fervent...body language, she thought, amused. Putting her hand on the lowest mark she raised it slowly upwards, and he capered happily in response. I have to read from bottom to top. All at once her amusement faded. If there are rules then this isn't random art. This is a writing system!
No. That was to jump from one extreme of thought about the vampkis to the other. Perhaps this wasn't a shared rule, but only the way Boomerang had chosen to express himself. She mustn't read too much into it. A good rule though. With the present at the top, supported by everything which has gone before.
Chastened - she had underestimated him - she bent to look at the little pictures.
When you grew used to the fact that everything was strangely elongated it was easy to see a picture of the cat-people in their city. They were...putting out bowls of food for the vampkis. Shaving? No - brushing them. And the vampkis were always drawn in the air, as if they were bouncing with happiness.
They were pets. They remember their old masters fondly. Somehow that seemed terribly sad to Romy. She reached out and stroked Boomerang's tortoiseshell hair gently as she'd seen Far do. As the cat-people were doing in the pictures. He gave a small worried hop and pointed back at the story.
A huge birdlike shape hanging over the central pyramid and a ...ladder? No, a gangplank coming down. This was a spaceship landing. Figures came out - the classic triangular shape of a being in a cloak and hood. Jedi? Jedi have been here before? Is that why Boomerang and his people have adopted us?
The Jedi seemed to have...taken over the city? No, that couldn't be right.
They had boxes with them. There were a succession of very strange drawings involving the boxes. A bouncing, happy vampki was put into a box and came out flattened, with smaller teeth and bigger eyes. One of the cat-people was put into the box and came out on all fours, with a look of malice that informed even the childlike scribble. Pointing to it, Boomerang went through a pantomime of terror so abject that Romy felt cold.
Other creatures went into the box and came out strange - usually more malevolent, more dangerous. Genetic engineering, she realised suddenly. It was an experiment that went wrong. The final pictures showed the Jedi with their creatures fighting in a great war against the remnant of the unaltered people. Dying one by one until the last one was cornered on the pyramid. There, as he died he made a storm? that killed the last of the cat-people, leaving the planet to the newly created monsters, and the orphaned vampki.
It explains everything, she thought, touching the spiky lines of lightning around the last Jedi with horror. But who would take an intelligent race and deform them into killing machines like that? What kind of a Jedi would do such a thing?
Boomerang had drawn a stubby cylinder in the last Jedi's hand. Now he bit his own finger and with the blood drew a line that stopped her heart. The lit blade of the figure's sabre was crimson. Not Jedi. Not Jedi at all. Sith.
Week 2, Day 2, Hour 3
Quilibet walked uneasily around the top of the pyramid, gazing out into the jungle for any sign of movement, any answering columns of smoke. She didn’t like being here alone, but it was hardly Jedi-like to refuse to stand watch when it was your turn simply because you’d once felt spooked. You had to conquet your fear and do what needed to be done. For the most part, she’d managed to keep the fear down to a manageable level. But every so often, something would happen, threatening to break her control and send her racing away in panic.
The signal fire had blazed up once while she’d been standing next to it. A split-second flicker of warning from the Force had given her the chance to turn away, but the flames had singed the back of her clothing before falling back again. They’d died down so far that they’d almost gone out completely, and she’d spent several anxious moments trying to get the fire to burn brightly again while wondering if the whole thing was going to explode in her face.
It hadn’t. Instead, later, a horrible smell had surrounded the top of the pyramid, as though she’d suddenly been transported to a field of rotting bodies. It had been so strong she’d gagged and almost thrown up, and then, suddenly, it had disappeared and the air had been sweet once again.
Maybe it had been a freak gust of the wind, carrying the scent of something from a direction it hadn’t blown in before. It was a perfectly logical explanation, but something inside Quilibet prevented her from believing it.
And then there was that feeling of being watched. It had been so strong that Quilibet had turned around to see if any of the others had come silently up the steps of the pyramid and was standing behind her, staring at her. But there hadn’t been anybody there, and she’d berated herself for being silly. Even with the sounds of the jungle, she was sure she would have heard the scrape of boots against stone if anybody had approached.
She came around to the west side of the pyramid and sank down onto the top step, shading her eyes from the sun as she looked down at the sprawl of the palace and the great hall in the middle of it where the others lay sleeping. There was no movement. Quilibet sighed. She wasn’t only tired because she’d been awake for so long. She felt as though her strength were being drained away, sucked out of her body as though into a black hole. Thank the Force that Garos had felt the same way earlier, or she’d have thought of it in connection with the feeling she’d had while trying to probe the history of the pyramid.
She had to fight the temptation to run down the steps and place her hand on the paving stones of the road just to make sure--again--that it was only the pyramid, and not the entire city that was resisting her Force attempts.
Hour 7
„Kriff!“ cried Garos loudly. “Ambianca, stop pinching me!“
„I’m not!“ came a petulant reply from farther away. “And anyway, you keep pinching me!“
Romy sat up, rubbing her own arms. She herself had also been awakened at least three times by the pain of having her skin grabbed and twisted cruelly, but when she’d struck out on instinct, her hand had met with no resistance, and the dim light of the hall had been enough for her to see that there hadn’t been anyone close to her, either. They’d all laid down close to the hearth, but after the first round of pinching, they’d scattered around the great hall; Ambianca was glowing in one corner, Far illuminated another, his outline softened slightly by the dark shapes of the vampkis around him. Garos had ended up in the middle somewhere.
If the pinches had been more violent and had all happened at the same time, Romy would almost have thought that it was Far, striking out with the Force during one of his attacks. But they’d been spread out over hours, here a pinch and there a pinch, and she didn’t know how to explain it. She hoped Quilibet was safe, anyway. A quick check on their bond revealed feelings of uneasiness, but no actual pain. Satisfied that her padawan was at least somewhat better off than she was, Romy got up and moved closer to the hearth, using the Force to start a small blaze.
Garos got up, too, and came over to down next to the flames, looking unhappy, then reached for the large cauldron with the remains of the stew from the night before, and attached it to the chain that hung directly over the fire. Romy nodded approvingly, looking forward to some nourishment as well.
„Urgh...“ Ambianca staggered to the fire as well, but didn’t bother to wait for warm stew. Romy caught a flash of blue in her hand and heard a small chomping sound.
„Bianca, put that down.“
Ignoring her, Ambianca took another bite.
„Hey, Amoeba! Master Tenax told you to put that down,“ Garos said.
„Shut up,“ Ambianca growled back. “Anyway, your master’s eating them, too, why aren’t you complaining about him?“
„‘Cause he’s got an excuse, and you don’t,“ Garos told her.
„Stop it, both of you,“ Romy said, and the squabbling padawans fell silent, glowering at each other. Ambianca provocatively finished the fruit and tossed the pit into the fire, watching Romy to see if she’d react. Romy stared back, feeling resigned. She’d already thought long and hard about the problem, but hadn’t been able to see a solution, because she knew that the vampkis would always bring more fruits, no matter how she tried to stop them. It was probably best to ignore it from now on, and hope that they’d be rescued before any permanent damage set in. Reminding the girl would probably prove more harmful than good, too, so she might as well stop speaking about it. Sometimes, or so she’d heard, drugs could cause such chemical dependencies in the body that the addict would literally die without his fix. She hoped that wasn’t the case here, but she had to keep in mind that it might not be solely a question of willpower.
The vampkis in the corner around Far began to shift restlessly, as they had done several times during the night. Romy was just able to sense the hasty Force whisper of danger as the cauldron suddenly crashed into the fire, and the chain that held it came snaking down from the ceiling. Both reacting at the same time, Romy and Garos lunged for Ambianca, pushing her away from the hearth. They landed in a jumbled heap on the floor just as the tail end of the chain hit, smacking them all sharply across the lower legs. Ambianca screeched with pain and surprise.
„Chuuba!“ Garos exclaimed, letting go of Ambianca as fast as he could and sitting up, flexing his ankles and making sure nothing was broken.
„What’s going on?“ Far called out from the corner.
„It tried to kill me!“ Ambianca cried, rolling away from Garos as well, almost on top of Romy. “Didn’t you feel it? Didn’t you sense something? It was trying to kill me!“
Romy was silent, flexing her own legs by scooting away in the opposite direction, and trying to analyze exactly what she had felt. Danger? A touch of malevolence as well? A presence? She couldn’t be sure.
„Pinching me in the night is only the beginning,“ Ambianca went on breathlessly. “It’s going to try again--it wants to kill me!“
„I don’t think it was meant specifically for you--“ Romy began.
„I’d go for the Amoeba first,“ Garos muttered, “if I were--whatever it was--and we’re not even sure that there was anything!“
Far came towards them, the vampkis following hesitantly, and Ambianca went towards him. “Master Far. You believe me, don’t you? Remember the faces in the smoke yesterday?“
„Yes,“ he said.
„And you felt something just a few minutes ago, didn’t you? You could feel it wanting to drop that chain on me?“
Far considered this, then admitted, “I didn't feel anything. But then the world could end at the moment and I'd be happy about it. I'm sorry, 'Bianca.“
With a brilliant smile, he opened his hand and sent two fruit pits into the fire.
Week 2 Day 3 hour 9
"Quilibet Lyr. Quilibet, Jedi. Help us." Her dreams were full of the voices, and shadow. The shadow of the pyramid was on her, she could feel it even through the roof of the hall, even in her dreams. Cold.
"Quilibet, help us."
She was in a dark place, with ice pressing on her. Frozen in ice. She gasped, and there was nothing to breathe but stone. The lack of air became a torment, and yet her spirit endured.
"Help us."
Imprisoned, she could not pull her hand away from the pyramid's stones. The sensation of being drawn in, devoured, came again and she struggled to wake herself before dream became reality.
She failed. Absorbed into the heart of the monument she was blind for a long time, and oppressed by a fear she could not release into the Force. The darkness whispered around her. "Quilibet... Quilibet..."
Just because I'm dreaming doesn't mean I should stop being a Jedi, she reminded herself. The thought was a narrow ledge above depths of terror she had never believed possible. "What do you want of me?"
A shape like drifting smoke came at her from the darkness. She saw the image of a face - feline and sorrowful. "Free us."
"No!" What sort of a fool did they think she was?
More of them whisped into existence, floating on every side. There was a thin frigid wind as they spoke their broken sentences. Speech passed from one to the next as if they were not truly many, but one.
"Quilibet... Quilibet..."
"We felt you touch us,"
"Please, Quilibet, we've been cold so long."
"We only want to die. He wouldn't let us die, Quilibet."
He must be the Sith Master Tenax had told them about. The one who was destroyed on the pyramid, who slew the last of the indigenous people with his dying power. Was it possible? Was it possible that he had somehow bound their spirits to remain, entombed in the rock?
Could a Sith do that? Prevent a person from joining with the Force after death? Quil didn't know, but it seemed so ...blasphemous... that it was certainly their style.
"You're a Jedi, Quilibet,"
"We felt your light."
"Please, Quilibet. Free us to die."
She breathed dust and ice, pressure squeezing her, and thought. Such an imprisonment was not only torment to the creatures, but a weakening of the Living Force itself. As a Jedi this was not a cry from which she could afford to turn away. "Tell me what I need to do," she said.
Far woke at the sound of stealthy movement and looked around. Only Quilibet going quietly out of the door, careful not to disturb the others' sleep. And we have been sleeping a lot recently. Is that normal? He couldn't quite remember how much sleep was considered normal, but surely you shouldn't wake up feeling more tired than you had when you closed your eyes?
He wondered if he should offer to help with whatever it was the girl was doing, but Pure hadn't quite worked out the theological implications of being friendly with the goddess of Death. She seemed like a nice person, but what kind of message would it send out to the vampkis? Now that Far had accepted the necessity of going away, both parts of him were concerned about the society they would leave behind.
Quilibet had killed and then cooked Ginger. And he had not punished her for it. It helped that she was a padawan and subservient to him - that would show (it was hard to think with the Force at its screaming peak) that Death was a servant of God, and not to be feared. That's not so bad. As long as she doesn't do anything else I can't explain.
It had taken so long to ponder the issue that it no longer seemed worthwhile to follow her. Perhaps she'd gone to resume the wood run up to the bonfire. Poor Ambianca, alone up there.
How had any true Master produced a Padawan like Ambianca? Frightened, lonely and desperate for attention, but with the skill only to annoy. She reminded Far of Garos in the early days - a child who didn't know how to be what he was.
Pure mentioned that she was certainly happier now she was enlightened, but Pure's voice was growing less sure of itself as the wound in his head healed. It was a shame. Despite the distraction of having two personalities, Pure had been good company. Far felt that Pure didn't deserve to be just subsumed, as he was being, but didn't know what else to do about him.
On the other side of the fire, Romedon twitched in her sleep. Garos too moaned, muscles ticking. More nightmares. He hoped it wasn't the one with the voice from the pyramid - the voice which whispered of terrible revenge, if it ever got out. That one became very annoying after a time.
He shook Garos' shoulder gently. "Wake up, son. We should think of finding something to eat today."
"Uhhnn!" A grey eye hauled itself open and accused him of unbearable sadism. Far wondered if his padawan knew just how vocal his early morning face could be, and smiled cheerily. "Come on. It's a lovely day - well it's a lovely night actually, but it's the thought that counts - and there's work to do."
"You're feeling better, Master." Garos finger-combed his dirty blond hair and returned the smile questioningly.
"Perhaps not better," Far said, not sure if it was better for Pure to be so weak, "But certainly more single."
They turned to regard Master Tenax together. She lay at peace now, but frowning, as if even in sleep the effort of keeping the nightmare away was telling.
"Should we wake her up?"
She had been the pillar of strength for all of them, Far thought, and he had been probably her greatest burden. "No, let her sleep. We'll heat some water and make breakfast. We can wake her then."
As they went out to the woodpile Far reflected that today was certainly better than yesterday. No one had been pinched or plagued in the night. Nothing had fallen on anyone. Perhaps the 'pinching' was due to the bite of some insect? And the chain's whiplash need not have been deliberate. Perhaps there was nothing uncanny going on after all?
The Force shouted warning. Looking up he was just in time to Force-catch the unconscious body of Ambianca as she tumbled down the pyramid steps.
Someone else was standing on the sacrificial platform - a black shadow in front of the fire. Their hands were raised as if in invocation. A lightsabre floated before them.
Pure erupted into Far's head. Scuz is up there! A god's panic drove him to shove Ambianca's body at Garos and race forward, taking the pyramid steps three at a time. "Scuz!"
The corpse was kicked over the edge. Its little, shaggy form almost knocking him over as he lunged forward to catch it in his arms. The vampki had been almost cut in two from throat to tail. And the marks were cauterised - the signature of a lightsabre blade.
Who would do such a thing?
He hurled himself over the edge of the platform. The figure turned, horror and tears on its face. It was Quilibet.
Week 2, Day 3, Hour 10-11
„You killed Scuz,“ Far exclaimed, his voice breaking with tears. “You--you slaughtered him!“
Reverently, he laid the little body down on its side on the stones. Quilibet stood staring alternately at him and what was left of Scuz, shaking her head now that she was free to do so. “No.“
Quite suddenly, Far grabbed her arm and spun her away from him. Too surprised to resist, or even to consider that he might do something that she would want to resist, Quilibet felt him grab her other wrist as well, and then he was binding her hands together behind her back with the length of cord that all Jedi kept in their utility belts for emergencies.
„You will have to be punished this time,“ he said firmly, looping the the cord around her neck twice so that he could pull her along behind him with the free end. Keeping a firm grip on it, he leaned down and picked up the fallen lightsaber, and she could see his gaze noting the empty spot on her belt where it had been plucked away.
„No,“ Quilibet protested again. Ignoring her, Far tucked the lightsaber into his own belt.
„It wasn’t me,“ Quilibet told him urgently, forced to walk forward a step as Far then gently scooped up Scuz’s mangled body and held it close to his ribs as though it were an infant. The tender, protective gesture brought more tears to Quilibet’s eyes and she shook her head yet again, unable to wipe them from her cheeks.
He started down the steps and she had to follow his rapid pace. In the moonlight, she could see Garos watching them both with a look of horrified fascination. Ambianca was slumped in his arms in an awkward embrace.
„There was something else up there! Please believe me!“ Quilibet cried as soon as she was sure that Garos could hear her. But as soon as they were at street level, Far said, “Garos. Go. Get Master Tenax, quickly.“
„But what about--?“ Garos looked at Ambianca in his arms.
„I’ll take care of her. Go on.“ Far had knelt down to settle Scuz gently on his side, arranging his limbs a little. Now he got up again and reached for Ambianca, lowering her carefully to the paving stones. Giving the dead vampki and then Quilibet one last hard look, Garos broke away from the strange tableau and began to race back to the hall, neatly avoiding Boomerang and the others as they came trotting up. Quilibet wondered briefly if Ambianca were dead as well, but then Far laid his hand on Ambianca’s forehead and began to speak to her in soft tones.
The animals stopped short of the dead body. Boomerang came forward to sniff it, then made mournful sounds that were soon echoed by the other vampkis. Just hearing the low, sorrowful keening made Quilibet start to sob in sympathy. When Ambianca moved, however, the noise died down of its own accord, and the vampkis watched in respectful silence as Far put his arm around the girl’s shoulders and helped her to sit up.
„My head,“ Ambianca groaned. “I feel sick.“
„What happened?“ Far asked.
„I don’t know,“ she moaned. “I thought I saw Quilibet coming up the steps. That’s all I remember. My head is splitting! Oh, kriff, what’s that? That’s not Scuz? What’s wrong with him?“
„He’s dead,“ Far announced.
„Oh, no! How? What happened?“ Ambianca leaned into his embrace, resting her head on his chest.
„I was hoping you could tell me,“ Far said.
„I don’t remember.“
„Do you remember seeing anybody else on top of the pyramid? Or anything else?“
„Just Quilibet. Kriff, it’s not just my head that hurts. I feel battered!“ Ambianca reached for Far’s free hand and gripped it.
„There was something else up there!“ Quilibet repeated urgently. “I felt it!“
„I didn’t feel anything,“ Ambianca repeated petulantly. “It wasn’t like when we saw that funny smoke on the altar, Master Far. Or like that feeling when the chain came down. There wasn’t anything to feel. I was up there the whole time and there just wasn’t anything.“
At that moment, Romy came racing up, Garos just slightly behind her. “What is it? What’s happened?“
„Master!“ Quilibet cried out, straining her wrists against the cord that held them. Gently freeing himself from Ambianca, Far stood up and blocked Romy’s progress.
„I saw Quilibet get up and leave the hall early,“ Far said. “Later, when Garos and I went outside to the pyramid, we were just in time to see Ambianca fall down the steps, unconscious. I could see Quilibet standing in front of the fire, with her lightsaber floating between her hands. As I went up, Scuz came down. He was dead. He’d been killed by a lightsaber. And Quilibet was the only person on top of the pyramid.“
„I didn’t kill him!“ Quilibet protested.“There was something else up there! I went up to free the souls of the cat-people, and the next thing I knew, I couldn’t move!“
„I didn’t see anything else up there,“ Garos put in.
„There wasn’t anything else up there,“ Ambianca said. “But right after Quil arrived, something hit me on the back of the head.“
„She’s got to be punished,“ Far announced.
„Master, you’ve got to believe me!“ Quilibet cried. “There was something else up there! It was holding me with the Force! It took my lightsaber with the Force and it killed Scuz with it! But I didn’t do it!“
Romy hesitated, feeling along the bond to Quilibet, and then reaching out to everybody else through the Force. The girl’s emotions were in uproar, but Romy could feel that she was absolutely convinced she was telling the truth. The problem was, everybody else was, too, especially Far.
„Maybe she ate one of those fruits,“ Garos suggested. “It might have altered her perceptions, made her think Scuz was an enemy ...“
„I didn’t!“ Quilibet exclaimed. “I wouldn’t! And anyway, eating the fruit didn’t seem to have that effect on your master!“
Far sighed deeply, and then he said,“Part of me wants to believe you, Quil. But Pure believes what he saw. He doesn’t want to believe, but he has no choice. He says, though, and I agree, that the vampkis have to see that their god is god over everything, including the goddess of death. It would be detrimental to their development if you were to go unpunished, Quilibet.“
„I didn’t do it!“ Quilibet hissed back through teeth clenched with the beginnings of anger.
„What do you mean, Far?“ Romy asked, letting her gaze slide over the vampkis.
„I mean, even if we believe Quilibet when she says there was another presence up there, we can’t make the vampkis believe that. They’ve seen Quilibet kill before--“
„It was self-defense!“
„--so they’ll be certain this is her work again. And if I, their god, don’t punish her, they will believe that the Goddess of Death is stronger than I am. They’ll start to worship her by following her example. That means slaughtering innocent animals, which would lead them right to the Dark Side. We have the chance to influence them for good! We have to show them that I am a good and benevolent god and definitely stronger than you. Then they’ll follow -my- example.“
Quilibet grudgingly had to admit that he was right, but she didn’t like the idea of being punished for something she hadn’t done. It would only make the vampkis’ attitude towards her even worse. They’d be convinced of her guilt and be even more afraid of her.
„That makes sense,“ Romy nodded. Quilibet felt vaguely betrayed by the motion, and Romy turned to her. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, Quil, I do. But Far’s right, too.“
„He doesn’t believe me. Why can’t he believe me?“ Quilibet exclaimed in exasperation. “He’s a Jedi Master! He’s supposed to be able to feel and sense more than I can! There was something up there, master, something totally evil! I couldn’t move! I couldn’t resist it! It didn’t disappear until Far was right there at the top, master. He should have felt something!“
„It wasn’t Far,“ said Ambianca. “It was Pure. Pure’s a god, not a master. He wouldn’t necessarily have felt anything because Pure doesn’t use the Force. But if there was something up there, then maybe it possessed Quil and worked through her. So maybe, in a sense, she really did kill Scuz.“
Garos nodded, obviously -wanting- to believe the worst, and Quilibet stared at them both in utter disbelief.
„It didn’t possess me,“ she insisted. “It was holding me back from helping Scuz, but it didn’t possess me!“
„We’ll discuss any ‘presences’ later,“ Far said firmly. “The punishment must be swift or the vampkis will not believe it.“
Getting the vampkis’ attention with a short bark, he then backed up a little until he was about two meters away. “Kneel down.“
Feeling as though she were caught in a nightmare, that this couldn’t really be happening, Quilibet glanced imploringly to Romy. “Master, I didn’t kill him!“
„I know, padawan,“ came the answer. “Don’t think of this as punishment. Think of it as a little play for the vampkis to help them remain on the light side of the Force.“
That made sense. A little play. She would refuse to believe that the ceremony was meant to punish her; she’d pretend she was an actor in a play instead. And if it helped to keep the little vampki tribe on the light side of the Force, then it was an action worthy of a Jedi. Quilibet knelt down.
„Romy, you may untie her,“ Far said.
Romy came forward and undid the knot, freeing Quilibet’s arms, then unwound the other end of the cord from around her neck. Coiling it automatically so that it would fit back in Far’s belt pouch, she handed it over. To her surprise, Far gave her Quilibet’s lightsaber in exchange and said quietly, “Hand it back to her.“
When she’d done so, Romy stepped back behind her padawan. Quilibet made a motion to clip the lightsaber back on her belt, but Far said, “No. Quilibet, crawl forward and kiss my feet, then offer me the lightsaber.“
It’s just a play, Quilibet told herself as she crept up to Far’s boots. It’s just a play. This is not humiliating. It’s Jedi stuff.
All the same, though, she wished the others weren’t looking as she lowered her head and touched her nose to the leather. Then she sank back on her heels and offered Far the lightsaber in both hands, bowing her head between her arms to make herself appear properly submissive. He took it from her and tucked it into his own belt again, and she lowered her arms, resting her hands on her thighs.
„Creep backwards three steps,“ Far told her.“After each step, stop and place your hands on the ground, and then bow your head to your hands.“
Recognising the description of the way the vampkis performed their obeisance, Quilibet did exactly that.
„Now get up and go to the hall. Come back with enough wood to make a funeral pyre for Scuz.“
She had to make three trips to carry as much wood as a decent funeral pyre would need. When she’d arranged it all, she lifted the limp little body and placed it on the top, then stepped back and bowed her head to the ground again in his direction. At the same time, she sent a burst of the Force towards the bottom of the pile, and the flames burst into life as she lifted her head. The smell brought back memories, and the tears pricked her eyes.
„Come back and bow to me once,“ Far commanded. “Then get up and go to the vegetable garden. Dig up a the kind of root vegetables that the vampkis like, enough to fill that smaller rock lizard shell, and bring them to the great hall.“
Quilibet performed the last bow, then walked slowly away towards the garden without looking back, letting her head hang until she was out of sight. Halfway there, she realised she had neither shell nor shovel, and so she doubled back to the other entrance of the hall and collected them, then continued on to the garden. She didn’t mind digging. Nobody was staring at her in awe and horror, and it would certainly give her something to do while she waited for a chance to talk to her master. Romy had to know about the dream, and the distinctly evil presence she’d felt at the top of the pyramid just as she’d been about to use the Force to help free the imprisoned spirits. It wasn’t just coincidence that it had shown up at that particular moment, she was sure of it. Whatever it was, it hadn’t wanted the spirits to be free.
She had almost finished filling the shell when Romy arrived at the garden. Seeing the movement out of the corner of her eye, Quilibet turned, and Romy came over to engulf her in a huge hug.
„Oh, Quilibet, I was so proud of you,“ she said. “You were such a Jedi!“
Week 2 Day 4 hour 1
The planet had set, its dim radiance draining out of the sky even as the Force surged. Alone on the pyramid platform, Garos rolled another massive log onto the fire, and tried to pretend he was not drowned and deafened by the overwhelming intensity of the Force.
He rubbed his arms, cold despite the bonfire, and shivered as eerie lights trailed across the stars. Livid shadows slithered over the empty door of the Sith tomb.
Deep down, subvocally, he knew what he was. Bait. But he could not say it, even to himself, incase there really was a presence here who would hear of the trap. It wasn't difficult to pretend to be helpless. In fact it was hard to imagine that - if something did happen - anyone would come to help him. Why would they? Who would mourn the loss of Garos Hmiol?
My master would. He remembered me when he forgot his own name.
He piled dry kindling on top of the fire, making the flames roar into the night. Fear seemed to be oozing from the stones beneath his feet, crawling into his bones, freezing him from the inside out. He could not release it into the Force, because the Force was fear.
Embrace the Force, young Jedi.
Who said that! Garos jerked upright, scanned the platform. Nothing was there, except for the bloodstain from Scuz's murder, which was gently smoking in the heat of the fire.
If the Force is fear, and you serve the Force, should you not embrace the fear?
He had expected an evil voice, but this was beautiful, deep and caressing as warm oil. Putting his hands over his ears only shut him in with it. The voice was in his head.
"Fear is of the darkside!" he stuttered, his own words reedy and unconvincing.
If the Force contains a darkside, who are you to reject it? You don't have faith enough to accept the Force for what it really is. Smoke and shadow twisted together under the aurora lights, and for one brief instant Garos was looking into a man's face. Its pupil-less eyes were almost pitying. A teacher with a disappointing student.
Garos knew he was breathing hard, but nothing seemed to shake the chill from his veins. His flesh had turned to glass; his heart pumped liquid oxygen. If he moved or even thought, he would shatter. This was not, not at all, what he had imagined.
Poor Quil, the thought came to him unsummoned, We punished her because of this thing. It was hard to remember the innocent little creature who had been sacrificed, Ambianca's wound, all he could think of was how unjustly Quil had been treated.
You treated her unjustly in order to serve the greater good, the Sith murmured understandingly inside his soul. It was right to do so. Just as it's right to embrace the power of the Dark, so that you will have strength enough to give order to the universe.
Frozen, Garos ardently desired the thing to stop making sense. If only it would say something abhorrent - something so clearly wrong that he would know where he stood. Against the streamers of strange light there was now a shadow - a man shaped hole in the world which wore the face not of a demon, but of a Master.
Yes. You are an independent thinker, Garos, and you know how foolishly most people behave. How they should be protected from themselves. Only strong rule can give them that. Only strong rule can create peace. You know this, so why do you deny yourself a strength the Force is eager to give you?
"I...I..." He had given it a victory just by entering into dialogue with it. But why had the histories of the Order not prepared him for the fact that the Sith way made sense? He had expected some kind of monster. Not a philosopher.
Fear, it said, Your Order's history is based on fear. They were afraid of us, and so they wiped us out. That was Just, wasn't it? That was certainly an act of the Light. It chuckled - a rasp against the inside of his skull, and he could feel its contempt for Jedi weakness, so many lost opportunities.
But I remain, it said, Because I am more truly at one with the Force than the Jedi can possibly understand. I am the full expression of the Force's Will. Light and Dark, together.
"Who are you?" Garos asked. He could indeed feel the creature's presence all around him, pervasive as the Force. If he meditated he knew he would open himself only to the Sith. This couldn't be right, could it? The Force couldn't really wish for corruption?
I am Darth Iquitous, Lord of the Sith. And I have so much to teach you, my apprentice.
"Something's wrong." Far said. He strained along the bond he had with his padawan. With the Force at this intensity it should have been like pressing his ear to a foghorn, but "I can't feel him at all."
Romy looked up, the expression of quiet readiness on her face casting him back to one of their missions together when they were both new knights. She had looked like that just before they rushed the five destroyer droids on Nam Chorios, when neither of them had expected to live.
In the raw power of the Force he knew she had followed his thought. "This time we have Padawans to protect. We're a lot stronger now than we were."
But even as he said it, he wondered just how fit they were, with himself and Ambianca addicted to mood enhancers, and with his own mental problems.
I'm a mental problem now, am I? said Pure ascerbically in the back of his mind, and he might have laughed, if not for the void in his heart where Garos ought to be.
"You think it got him, Master Far?" Ambianca hovered by his elbow, intrusive in a way his own apprentice was not. He was glad she had restrained herself from clinging to him.
"If it did, then we will get him back."
"Right." Romy gathered their attention, "Padawans, be alert, don't be afraid, do honour to your training." She turned and led the way up the steep side of the pyramid.
Gulping, her shiny face taut but determined, Ambianca followed, a display of bravery which must have cost her dearly. Far caught Quil's shoulder as she went to follow. "Quilibet, you're a stronger person and a better Jedi than 'Bianca. Will you watch her back? She's the only one of us alone here."
Quilibet looked at him uncertainly, probably wondering what this compliment meant from a man who had only hours ago forced her to grovel at her feet. Their talk was still overdue. Then she bowed slightly, "Yes, Master Biwo," and raced ahead to catch up with the others.
Darkness rested on the sacrificial platform. Even the bonfire burned with more reek than heat, so that smoke hung level over the stone, and a few steps in they could not see each other.
"Don't get separated." Romy's voice sounded out of the fog. "Quil, give me your hand."
"Ambianca?" Quilibet asked. There was a pale blue ahead of Far which must be Bianca's moon-bright face. He closed on it, felt the girl's hand fumble in his sleeve a moment before finding flesh. He could feel along their living conduit that they were all linked, and the absence of Garos was as if he had dipped his other hand into dry ice.
"Oh how sweet. The Jedi are holding hands." The voice was both strange and shockingly familiar. A young man's voice, which trembled the air as flesh and blood does, but carrying harmonics of antiquity, dust and cold.
Far shivered in horror. "What have you done with my apprentice?"
Something utterly alien moved within the Force, and the fog billowed, blackened, then drew away to fan out around Garos Hmiol like dark wings. Garos' face moved as if something inside were pulling it. "He's mine now."
The boy powered up his lightsabre. Its aqua glow was sickly in the darkness, as if an internal power was polluting even the light. "You can't attack me without harming his body. But I don't have that disadvantage. Let's negotiate."
The mocking tone was not lost on any of them. "What do you want?" Romy asked coldly, while Far struggled with his grief and fear. In the turmoil, Pure grew stronger, demanding vengeance and justice. Far kept him down, barely.
"I quite like to see you suffer," said the Sith, with Garos' rare honest smile, "I like you to watch while I use your children. Go on, you know you hate me for it."
"Negotiation is not the same as gloating," said Romy, with a worried look at Far. "I have to warn you that if you do not give us our Padawan back, you will be destroyed."
"I need an apprentice to restore the line of the Sith. You have others, you can spare me this one. If you leave now, I may not kill you all."
A movement of the Force. Ambianca's sabre was plucked from her belt, floated away from her, orbiting eerily end over end. "Give it back!"
The blade sliced into life, pointing itself between her eyes.
"Use the Force, Ambianca." Quilibet said, encouragingly. The hilt moved unsteadily as Ambianca fought for control.
"I'm trying!"
Garos laughed merrily - he seemed happier as a Sith. "A hundred thousand enslaved spirits are with me here. I can draw on their strength as well as my own. Can you fight an army of the dead, little girl?"
The deadly laser inched forward. Ambianca's fringe seared, filling the platform with the smell of cremation. The tip of the sword pressed towards her forehead. Far felt the moment when each of the other Jedi joined their strength to hers, trying to wrest the hilt away. But still the point advanced. Ambianca's fear began to fill up the link. Garos - or the thing in him - giggled.
He was winning. Even together the Jedi were weaker. Something had to be done. "Stop," Far took a breath and lurched forward, "You may not have Garos, but you can have me. Leave Ambianca alone."
Pure? he told himself, fervently hoping this would work Hide. You can help me to fight him, but only if he doesn't know you're there.
I'm going to stop him hurting the children. Pure replied. It was strange to hear the god sounding grim.
He doesn't know there are two of us. Let's keep it a secret until he's in here with us.
"How noble," the Sith mocked, but he turned away from the girl to look more closely at Far. The lightsabre stopped, and Romy reached up to switch it off.
"But I think," Garos' form strolled around Far as if he was picking out a suit, "I think the enlightened look would be pleasantly ironic on me. Yes, I might wear you, Jedi Master."
He picked up Far's right hand. Far had to breathe out sudden revulsion, as if he'd touched newly dead flesh. No, worse than that, because the foulness spread. For a brief moment it was just a poison in his veins and then darkness filled his blood, choking off his connection to the Force, pumping into every cell in his body. He was utterly, utterly defiled, and powerless to do anything about it.
Staggering, he saw Garos collapse to his knees in front of him. The boy was white and weeping. "Master?"
"Yes," Far heard his voice answer, knew what it was going to say, hated it, and could not stop. "I am Darth Iquitous, your master. Now, my apprentice, I'm going to destroy these others while you watch. Enjoy, and learn."
He retained just enough personality to understand the vastness of the power Iquitous commanded. Enough personality to despair.
Fire tore from the bonfire in a sheet of blazing destruction. The Force, corrupt as his heart, slammed into the Jedi, pushing them towards the long drop to death on the forest floor. Their feeble struggles amused him.
Pure! Far thought miserably, Where are you? I need your help. But he should not have expected the blithe, childlike personality to survive the impact of the Sith. And now he was alone. Oh yes, he had miscalculated this very badly indeed.
May the Force be with you, Romy. It's up to you now.
They retreated to the steps and down a few. Romy had grabbed Garos by the hand, pulling him away, and with her free hand, she fumbled for Ambianca. Both Padawans were shaking, and she could feel fear and revulsion rolling off them. Quilibet remained at Ambianca’s side, also revolted by what she had seen and felt, but obviously trying to master her fear, knowing it wouldn’t get them anywhere.
„What’s our plan?“ Romy whispered, trying to divert their attention from what had happened to what they had previously decided to do. “Come on, guys, remember. Think!“
„It won’t work,“ Ambianca wailed. “Force, he’s too strong. It won’t work!“
„No,“ came Far’s voice from above, underlaid with something evil and dark. “It won’t work, whatever your puny plan is. I -am- too strong.“
„Quilibet, your job. Do it now,“ Romy said. She didn’t want to go into details in speech, not with Darth Iquitous listening. She wasn’t sure he could read her thoughts, but she had to cling to the hope that he couldn’t. They still had a chance.
„I need a fruit,“ Ambianca whimpered. “A whole basket of them!“
„Shut up, you addict,“ Garos hissed. “That’s not going to help us!“
Quilibet could tell that Romy was resisting the urge to knock their heads together. Going down one step further, so that the three were between her and the Sith, Quilibet knelt down and placed both hands against the stone, reaching out for the voices that she had heard earlier.
„Come on, link with me,“ Romy urged quietly.
There was no time for the link, however. The Sith in Far’s body reached easily for the lightsaber and switched it on. Was it just Romy’s imagination, or did the previously pure white light now seem tinged with grey--almost dirty somehow? Pulling her hands away from the padawans, Romy gripped her own saber, and was just in time to stop the blade as it sliced towards--Ambianca? Of course. He’d recognise weakness and want to get it out of his way as fast as possible.
Iquitous poured all of his strength against the block Romy was holding. Stupid Jedi, thinking their females could fight, failing to recognise weakness even when it was programmed at a biological level. He could sense the muscles of her arm trembling through the contact of the locked blades and knew it was only a matter of moments before she would fail. When he lept forward to cut the little girl's head off it would be a double blow to the woman who so foolishly called herself a 'master'. Let her reproach herself - she would get what she deserved for pretending to a status she could not possibly have earned.
His mind writhed, as the original owner of the body struggled against his dominance. For a moment he was distracted. Just one instant, but the shiny girl chose that moment to dive into cover behind the boy he wanted to keep alive, and the woman twisted the block, drove his arm downwards and escaped.
Fury filled him. He reached out and embraced it, sending its screaming energy deep into the matrix of the pyramid. Fastened in there were all the spirits he had enslaved, using the residue of their life energies to fuel his immortality. He wound the fury around them, felt their impotence against him. Their helpless rage multiplied his power by a thousandfold.
He quashed the Jedi Master in his mind, holding the man down, while allowing him to observe the fates of his friends. He had power to spare, he could afford to play with his victims. Then he Force-pushed the Jedi woman - Romy - and ran past, to sweep a final, killing blow towards the worthless little slut she guarded.
Ambianca!
What was this? Light burst into Iquitous' head, nauseating and scalding him. He stumbled, and another personality poured itself into his arm, pulling the saber strike away. Damn you! What is this?
You will not use Betty to hurt my friends!
For one moment, the Sith faltered. For one moment, Far’s mouth moved in a normal way, not as though something inside were pulling it.
„Betty!“ Pure cried, snatching his lightsaber away from Ambianca and staring with horror at the blade.
Iquitous tore energy from the spirits, their pain and misery a balm to his injured pride. This personality, Pure, had been hidden within the first. Normally it would have been difficult to keep both at bay at once, but with his army of the dead nothing was impossible to him.
Quilibet closed her eyes and ears to the fight, and concentrated on the Force instead , sinking her consiousness into the pyramid, trying to contact the cold, smokelike beings she had dreamed of.
„Speak to me!“ she called out.
„We are here,“ came the reply--or rather, several hundred replies at once.
"....he's making us hurt you...."
"Help us..."
Their despair was almost a physical sensation, travelling up her arms like a black ooze. "He's using you?" she asked, understanding now that they faced a larger threat than just one Sith.
"Using us to hurt you..."
"He's using our souls...our lives."
"It hurts, Quilibet. Make him stop."
She saw too why the pyramid had always seemed so full of dread. It wasn't just the Sith. It was the unsettled spirits themselves. Iquitous had imprisoned them, and they had grown to hate him. Their terror and fear had grown through the centuries, making him stronger. The very people who wanted him gone most were giving him power through their hatred.
"Listen to me. You have to stop thinking of how much you hate him. Think of--sunshine!“ Quilibet urged, trying to remember other things that made up the light side. “And light. And--and love! The love you had for your mates and children and parents! Concentrate on love!“
Opening herself to the light side of the Force, she tried to illustrate what she meant by concentrating on Master Nektanebos and Master Radjedef, remembering her fond feelings for them.
„Feel with me!“ she told the spirits. “Feel what I’m feeling! Join me!“
On the steps above, Garos tried to take advantage of the confusion inside his master’s body. He circled behind Iquitous, hoping to kick him in the back of the knees. If he could just topple the man over and get his lightsabre away from him then the body could be restrained. Even if the Sith's mind still attacked them, Far's body would be safe.
He held his breath. He had only to close the distance one more step...
With a fluid movement that was in none of the Jedi katas, the Sith kicked out backwards. Garos was too surprised to block. The boot took him in the stomach, sending him staggering away to slam into the outer wall of the structure. Kriff!.
The Sith was in control again, going for Romy this time, while Ambianca tried to circle to the side. If she could make it they would have the Sith in the center of a triangle of lethal blades. But what's the point? We can't hurt him - we'll only injure Master.
Pulling himself away from the chamber, Garos raised his lightsaber and charged forward, ready to strike with the hilt - trying to knock Far unconsious, but the Sith had already sensed him and turned. A blast of Force pushed Garos away - he hit the wall again, so hard that the bruise on his head burst and blood trickled beneath his collar.
„How dare you interfere!“ the Sith raged suddenly. Astonished by the non-sequitur it took Romy a moment to realise he was not looking at her. She followed his gaze and felt horror clutch her heart. He was staring directly at Quilibet.
The girl was kneeling on the steps, her hands flat on the stones and her eyes shut, completely oblivious to what was going on above her. Gone was the spiritually crippled shell of a girl who’d been a ghost in Romy’s quarters. Here was a powerful Jedi in action, the Force flowing through her. Romy felt a burst of pride overpower her fear and enable her to race quickly to defend her padawan.
„You will not have them! They are mine!“ he bellowed, and Romy, seeing his knees bend ever so slightly, rushed to attack before he could somersault over her head and cleave Quilibet in two. They exchanged blows until their lightsabers locked again. The Sith let go with one hand, and in that moment, the altar came flying out through the chamber door. It was headed directly for Quilibet.
Romy also let go with one hand, directing the other one at the altar, and it wavered in mid-air, slowing, but not stopping completely. She reached into the Force, pulling for more power. She had to stop it before it crushed Quilibet like a boot would crush an ant, she just had to! And then, quite suddenly, there was somebody else there with her, lending her strength. It was a presence she had not felt recently, and she almost didn’t recognise it at first, but there was no time to be shocked. The altar exploded and the debris rained down, splinters peppering everybody, even the Sith. Their lightsabers slipped free at last, and to her dismay, Romy saw that the Sith had managed to keep his grip. She’d been hoping to disarm him.
But even if she had, he would still be a danger. Romy saw the entire chamber rock slightly, and had a good idea of what was going to happen next.
„Garos! Bianca! Force shield!“ she called out.
To their credit, both padawans dropped to their knees in the classic meditation pose and began to generate a bubble of the Force around them, one that would deflect any missile, no matter how small or large. Romy knew it was a race against time that would be measured in centi-seconds. The chamber flew up into the air, burst into its component parts, and huge blocks of stone began to rain down on them.
Week 2 Day 4 hour 4
Ambianca's body was shivering. Even kneeling, her limbs were boneless and she could not pant fast enough to ease the panicked tightness in her chest. The Force flowed through her like an electric current - just as burning, just as hot - and her efforts to shape it into a force shield left her near sobbing with pain and endurance. She was so tired!
She blinked sweat out of her eyes. Sight was a mistake - she couldn't avoid the wince as a huge boulder hurtled towards her head Oh Kriff!. It was hard to kneel here, passive, unprotected, while the whine and hum of sabres sounded overhead, knowing that at any time Romy might be defeated. She wanted to be doing something more helpful than this. Something heroic.
No, Bambi, her Master's voice spoke in her head, filling her with homesickness, This isn't about showing off. Not this time. It was strange to hear Sal-Fina's arrogant tones counciling her to self-sacrifice. But Sal-Fina had been quite a warrior in her youth, and never as worthless a Jedi as everyone thought.
Ambianca took a deep breath, forced herself to forget the flying masonry, the threat of decapitation from the Sith's blade, terror for the future, and poured more strength into the force wall. She would show them all that Sal-Fina's padawan knew what it meant to be a Jedi, as well as any of them did.
Dimly, through her connection to the Force she could feel that something was wrong with Quilibet, and much more closely, that Garos was also disturbed. She bent her head and asked the Force What is required of me?
Endure.
Quilibet felt the spirits of the dead come closer. They were brushing against her mind, taking away the warmth. She concentrated on happy times - the day when Master Nek had presented her with the lightsabre crystal she used now, open praise from Master Rad, the softness of their fur against her cheek when they had hugged her.
Love. Think of love.
The spirits crowded in, like lost travellers drawn to a campfire. Quil's hands where they touched the stone grew white and bloodless as the spirits sucked the heat from her.
"Love..."
"I had a daughter..."
"My husband was such a good man."
"I loved a girl..."
Yes! she thought. She could feel them thinking, the long unused memories stirring, a loosening of the darkness around them. This was going to work!
And then a mind of pure evil touched hers. Just one touch, and her recoil went through the thousands of souls gathered near. Force! Master Far's trapped with that thing? Is he ever going to recover? What if he falls?
What if he dies?
Just a small touch, but it had tilted the axis. Quil's connection to the cat-people filled up with horror and regret, smothering.
"My little girl...he killed her."
"My husband dying when the monster's came..."
"The Sith took her."
Quil could not separate from their grief. The smell of fur, charring, burning away on the funeral pyre... 'You said you wouldn't leave me!' Her own anguish reawoke, pouring back into the pyramid, feeding it. Distantly while she lived the nightmare over, she heard the Sith laugh.
"Masters! Masters, help me!"
Quil's cry caused Romy to stumble, looking over her shoulder at the girl. Iquitous moved in with a wide blow to the neck.
"Romy! Look out!" Ambianca screamed. The Master blocked just in time, distracted by the feelings of despair from her apprentice. She wanted to run to Quil's side, but could not disengage from the lightsabre battle. Ambianca and Garos were defenceless without her.
//You can do it, Padawan// she sent fiercely, before another blow made her leap back, scowling with concentration.
This was not good, Romy thought. She was exhausted already from the radiation sickness. The Sith was blocking her access to the Force, so she could not draw on its strength. However long she could endure he could surpass it - since he wasn't even mortal. For the first time she felt that this was hopeless. They were completely overmatched and going to die.
Your focus determines your reality, she told herself firmly, We *will* defeat him. But it was hard to believe it wasn't just wishful thinking.
"Ambianca?"
Bianca opened an eye, found Garos' face hanging before her. Where was his input to the shield? It felt as if he and she were trying to carry a hyperspace generator upstairs, and he had put his end down. "Garos! I can't hold it by myself. Help me!"
He was patting her tunic with exploratory hands. For a moment she wondered if he'd gone Sithly again. "What are you doing? Get off!"
"I've had an idea."
Garos found the stash of blue fruit she'd concealed in her stola. He offered her one and she took it with astonishment.
"Can you keep the shield going just for a little while?"
If he'd have asked 'can you just hold this molten steel in your bare hands for a while?' it would have seemed equally possible. She looked at his hopeful expression and knew they didn't have time to discuss this. She would have to trust him. "I...I.." Force! It was going to hurt. "Quickly then, whatever it is. I don't think I can hold it long."
Garos pulled his mind out of the force shield, watching Ambianca's face tighten under the strain - burnt and blinded by the power. He was surprised she'd agreed. Better make sure it's worth it.
Romy looked at him with a frown of disapproval as he came to her side. "Master Far!" he called, ignoring it, "Catch!" and he threw the pastel fruit at the Sith's contemptuous face.
Quilibet could not find a way out of the void. The abyss of loss and grief and guilt was too strong for her to fight alone. Around her the spirits of the cat people mourned their own dead, their misery intertwining with hers, like creepers holding her down.
"Why?" she sobbed accusingly at the Force, "Why did you take them away from me? Why are you so cruel?"
Oh, Padawan, the Force is not cruel. A voice she hadn't heard in years purred in Quil's ear.
"Master Nek?" So the misery had proved too much, she thought, and she had finally lost her mind. It seemed unjust that it wasn't much of a relief.
Padawan, have you no faith at all?
The confused swirl of ghostlike faces around Quil slowed. There was a shock of something new through their gestalt; surprise, awe. Then a light dawned slowly inside the crushing darkness of the spirit matrix, inside the very heart of the Sith's pyramid.
'There is no death, there is the Force' beloved apprentice. Just as the Force is with you always, so are we. Now is not the time for doubts.
They had a shimmer about them - Master Nek, Master Rad, and a handsome young man whom Quil didn't recognise. Beside the wisp and wraithlike cat people their radiance seemed solid, far more themselves than the spirits.
"Masters?!" Quil whispered. She didn't know whether to dance or scream. She wanted to throw herself at them and hug til ribs broke, but was afraid she would go straight through them. "Master Rad? Master Nek?" Of course she had believed in the Code - she just hadn't quite Believed it. "Oh, Gods! It's really true!"
"It's really true." Master Nek grinned, his teeth flashing in the darkness, and drew a hand through Quil's hair. She felt the brush of insubstantial fur. "But come, Padawan, we have work to do."
"Why didn't you come before?"
"We weren't needed then, Quil. You had to live, and not dwell with the dead. But this...well, this is in our realm anyway. Let's teach these poor dead people to let go."
Iquitous snatched the fruit out of the air. At least, his arm did. He was having increasing difficulty controlling that left arm. If he exerted enough mental pressure to completely drive the Jedi Master down, the other personality swung up to battle him. Then, as he was distracted fighting Pure, Master Far would make a break for freedom. This was certainly proving tiresome. When he was back in power those suffering with multiple personality disorder would all be destroyed. He was not going to permit this to happen again.
Unconsciously, while the rest of the body tried again to hack the head off the interfering little girl, and was driven back, again, the left arm raised the fruit to his mouth and he ate.
Fear thrilled through him. Damn them! What had he just eaten? Poison? That wasn't very Jedi like.
Gradually a strange feeling came over him. He had never felt like this in all of his long life. The closest was the stab of fierce satisfaction when an enemy lay dead at your feet, but this was more mellow, more lasting than that.
What is this?
His hold on anger and hatred faltered. He felt, oddly, as if everything was as it should be. Nothing more need happen for this moment to be perfect. The feeling was so alien it should have been frightening, but in fact it was only rather pleasant.
In the confusion Far stirred, pride in the youth obvious in him.
"What has he done to me?" Iquitous asked, trying to be horrified, but failing. "What is this?"
"You're feeling happy," said the Jedi Master, in an almost pitying tone. "It's hard to be angry or afraid when you're happy... I'm sorry, but I really need my body back. Pure can stay, but you take up too much room."
"Are you mocking me?" Iquitous tried to growl but could not, found himself instead wanting to laugh. The dark side of the Force was there, only a fingernail width away, roiling like a volcano with power, but he could not drive himself into the emotions he needed to harness it. Damn them to every hell he could think of, but he couldn't even be furious about his inability.
//Garos!// While Iquitous struggled against the cloying sweetness of happiness, Far was able to mindcall his apprentice, //Link with me!//
//Yes, Master!// The boy had been waiting for this, obviously preparing for it. His tempered, bright presence slid along the link to take up residence with the others. There were now four of them. The Sith, the god, and two Jedi. Together Garos and Far began prying the possessing tendrils of darkness from the master's mind.
Far's body convulsed, dropping his lightsabre. His eyes rolled up in his head, showing only a slit of white, and he collapsed, Garos stumbling to the ground beside him. Romy looked at them, aghast, unsure what was happening. Then she accepted the blessing, picked up Far's lightsabre and threw herself down at Quil's side.
//Quilibet! Link with me. Let me see - I need to help you.//
Her student's mind was in a dark place, numbed with cold, and hushed with some combination of strong emotions Romy could not understand.
//Master Romy.// The confusion of feelings soared into joy, and Romy felt that she'd been welcomed as the one thing necessary to make everything complete. //Look!//
Vague smokelike spirits were circling about a glow in the distance. It grew close as soon as she observed it, and she saw three figures of light, walking among the shapeless dead, talking to them, calming them. Oh my! The two Caamasii must be Quilibet's previous Masters. They smiled at her in friendship and radiated approval, as though welcoming her into their circle. The third figure was...
She had thought it was hallucination when she felt his presence earlier. Wishful thinking. But there he was, with the wavy hair and the impetuous smile, and that way of standing which radiated delight with the whole universe.
"Tihartien! Oh, my love..."
He smiled, and she smiled back, but Quilibet's voice interrupted them. //We have to all link up, Master. The spirits will link with us, and we'll focus their light against the Sith.//
Yes, Romy thought, dazed with emotion, Yes of course. Because he always said he would be there if I needed him. "I'm ready."
The last connection was severed. Far's body shuddered once and was still, while, driven out, the Sith gathered above it - a darkness silhouetted against the twisting aurora of the night sky.
Romy quested along the links of friendship she had shared with Far, found him exultant and eager at the other end. //Far and Garos, join with us.//
They had begun a landslide of memories among the spirits - a gathering torrent of joy. Together they used it to fuel the Light, to focus it on the shade that was all that was left of Iquitous.
For a moment, just as bright light intensifies shadow, he grew darker, more concrete - they could see a pale intolerant face, lips thin as scalpels. The barrage of rocks intensified fruitlessly. Then gradually, like a leaf burning in an autumn bonfire, the darkness withered, crumpled, smoked and was gone.
"That's it?" Quil asked at last, amazed.
"That's it," said Far, nodding.
A rain of boulders fell harmlessly to the temple top, and in the midst of them Ambianca sat, holding stable a force shield that would have done a Master proud. Rocking back and forth, comfortless, she was the only one of them left alone.
Week 2, Day 4, Hour 4
Far went forward and touched Ambianca gently on the shoulder. “It’s all right. You can let go now. We’re safe. Everything is all right.“
Ambianca stopped rocking and opened her eyes. “It’s over? He’s gone?“
„Yes, he’s gone now,“ Far nodded, watching the tension leave Ambianca’s body. She almost looked as though she would collapse, and he reached down to take her hand, helping her gently upright, and then enveloping her in a grateful hug. “You did wonderfully, Bianca.“
She tightened her grip around his waist, resting her head against his chest, and made no signs of wanting to let go, then or ever.
„And we must go, too,“ Master Nektanebos announced.
Quilibet reached out wordlessly, then let her arm fall in a gesture that almost looked like despair.
„And stop doubting yourself, Quilibet,“ the female Caamasi continued in an unexpectedly masterly tone of voice. “You weren’t failing. You were doing your best, better than you’ve ever done, but you couldn’t be expected to stand up alone against a fully-trained Sith who was drawing on the life energy of hundred of thousands of enslaved souls. I am very, very proud of you.“
„And I’m proud of you, too,“ Master Radjedef said. “It was the will of the Force that you succeed and with the help of the Force, you did. That’s what you should be dwelling on, and not any imagined shortcomings.“
„You did well,“ Master Nektanebos added quickly, and Quilibet smiled, straightening up a little and not drooping even as they began to fade.
„Remember us, but move on,“ Master Radjedef said, and then they were gone.
„Tihartien--“ Romy turned quickly to the one remaining Force ghost, but he remained visible. After a moment, she admitted, “There were so many things I wanted to say to you, but now I can’t remember what they were.“
Grinning, he reached out, but his hand passed through her arm. “Blast. Being one with the Force is not all it’s cracked up to be.“
Romy laughed.
„I think that’s the best way to say good-bye,“ Tihartien said, becoming serious again. “Remember me, but move on.“
As he faded away, his eyes moved, and Romy followed his gaze to Far.
„Hey, wait a minute, we’re just fr--“ she said indignantly, turning back, but Tihartien was gone. She looked at Far. Far looked back at her, and Romy got the impression that he was as surprised as she was.
Ambianca tightened her grip possessively, and Garos broke the silence by saying, “Look.“
From the center of the top of the pyramid, where the altar had once beeen, there was a stream of blue light, moving as though it were smoke, climbing up into the atmosphere and then dissipating.
„It’s their souls,“ Quilibet breathed. “The cat people’s souls. They’re being released.“
They stood and watched until, quite suddenly, it ended, the tail end of the light separating itself from the pyramid and becoming more translucent until there was nothing left to see.
„They’re free now,“ Quilibet announced reverently.
The change in the pyramid was almost palpable, and almost as one, they each heaved a great sigh of relief.
„Thank you, Ambianca,“ Far said suddenly. “I’ve seen masters that couldn’t hold a Force shield as well and as long as you did. You saved us all from being pounded to death before we could defeat that--that thing.“
Ambianca tilted her head back to look up into his eyes with a smile of gratitude and pleasure at the praise, and Far gently disengaged her arms from around his waist. A look at her face, though, told him that his touch was a more welcome reward than any words, and so he shifted her slightly to his left hand side, not letting go completely. With his right hand, he reached out for Garos, pulling him into a rough embrace. “And thank you, Garos, for enduring him, and especially for thinking of the fruit.“
„I never thought those blasted fruits would come in handy,“ Romy added, grabbing Garos for a hug as well. “Good thinking, Garos!“
She reached for Ambianca next and was surprised at the amount of resistance she felt as she tugged the girl gently away from Far. “Bianca, you did excellently. You saved all our lives!“
Free again, Garos turned and spit suddenly off the side of the pyramid. “Darth Iquitous left a bad taste in my mouth. Chuuba! I feel contaminated.“
„Maybe a hot bath would help,“ said Far, feeling exactly the same way, but knowing in advance that spitting would not help.
Slowly, they walked down the steps of the pyramid.
Week 2 Day 4 Hour 7
In the darkness, the scent of night-opening flowers curled around the doorway of the hall. A fish leapt in the long cool pool, the splash catching reflections of the aurora in a sheen of gold across the water. Behind him, Far could hear the muted, comfortable sounds of people settling down for the night. They had decided that after the battle they could afford to all sleep for once. The beacon could look after itself for a few hours.
Outside, the vampkis chittered peaceably among the trees, or cat-napped in little nests among the deserted buildings. Since the Sith's defeat they had even begun climbing the pyramid, staring at the bonfire in fascinated awe. Dimly, Pure thought I should like to teach them to make fire before I go. It had something of the quality of a last request, and though he was finishing his sixth pastel fruit, Far couldn't feel entirely happy about that thought.
I'm growing habituated to these things, he realised, throwing the final pit into the lake, I can't eat enough of them to get the effect any more.
Normality was returning to him, and he wasn't sure that he didn't feel a little melancholy about it. There had been something so liberating about being someone else, and Pure...Pure didn't deserve this, to just fade out like one of the pyramid ghosts.
"Here you go, Master." Garos appeared at his elbow with a steaming cup of muja-leaf tea.
"Thankyou, Padawan." He looked up at the boy's half smile, breathed in the fragrant steam. "Will you be able to sleep?"
In the back of Far's mind, perhaps the source of his plaintive mood, was a wound; the residue of a thousand year old hatred. It gave him, with the faint regrets, a new appreciation of how much beauty there was in the world, but he could imagine that it might just give Garos nightmares.
"I could sleep for weeks, Master. I'm more worried about you. Are you alright? He was with you for a long time and you seem..."
"I'm fine," Far reached up and patted the boy's wrist reassuringly, "Just a little thoughtful Garos. It was a strange experience."
A scented breeze lifted the fringe of Far's glowing hair, ruffled the Padawan's over-long locks. Snaking light touched with brutal frankness the dark circles under Garos' eyes, his drawn and weary gaze. He stifled a yawn respectfully behind his hand, making Far smile.
"Extra meditation for both of us tomorrow, I think, Padawan... Thankyou for the tea."
Garos smiled and gave the smallest nod of a bow, "Good night then, Master."
"Sleep well."
With another yawn, the youth disappeared back into the smoky darkness of the hall. Far looked down at the cup in his hands. The green glaze was jade pure and smooth against his fingers. The cream figure of a flying bird nestled in his palm, all sinuous and ancient lines. Ambianca had found a stash of these cups buried beneath a millennia of dirt in the corner of an adjacent palace.
It seemed sacrilegious to use this museum exhibit for something as mundane as drinking tea, but in its small way the gesture made an ancient world come back to life in his hands. He sighed, pleased that they had recovered at least one thing from this day of death.
"Credit for them?" Romy stepped out of the shadows and settled herself companionably beside him on the doorstep.
"Hmm?" In the firelit humidity she had not troubled with overtunics, and the sleeveless singlet she wore emphasised the curve of her browned shoulder, the strong slenderness of her arms. For some reason he had never noticed these things before.
"Credit for your thoughts?" she said, and looked away, smiling.
"I'm not sure they're worth paying for."
"A trade then. Yours for mine."
Far sipped - the tea was bitter, with a thin overlay of fruit, refreshing. "I suppose," he said quietly, "I've been thinking of change, and loss. Endings."
"And new beginnings?"
He could guess what she was asking. Tihartien's words had lingered, unacknowledged between them for some hours, turning the most ordinary chores into small duets of delicate avoidance. It would have been easier to deal with if he had known one way or the other what he thought. "I hadn't got that far."
Romy sighed and settled back against the doorframe, stretching out her legs. She smiled at her friend reassuringly, but he was not looking. Hands clasped about the small warmth of his cup he was staring at the water and the night. She wasn't sure she had ever seen him this sad. Questions of romance could wait. "What's wrong?"
He pulled up his knees and rested his cheek on them, his eyes blue as sunlit planets seen from space, and equally remote. "Pure is...going away."
"That's good, isn't it?" She had watched it over the past week - the way his face had gone from childlike certainty to maturity; the hardening of lines as lessons and hardships were remembered. It had pleased her to see the man she knew return.
"For him there is no Force, there is only death."
Romy shivered a little at the blasphemy, though it was true. Some of the relief she had felt, when they all returned from the pyramid uninjured, bled away. There were deeper injuries than the physical, and Far had borne a Sith Lord in his head for long enough to almost kill her. Was he tainted by darkness? Should she worry for the Padawans' safety around him now?
"Pure's part of you, Far," she said quietly, "He won't die, he'll just grow up."
"It doesn't feel like that. I feel as if I'm killing him - driving him out as I drove out Iquitous."
"Perhaps your perceptions are blurred by the aftermath of the battle?" Romy leaned forward and squeezed Far's arm, the shapes of muscle pleasant under her fingertips. "Are you completely free of the Sith's thoughts?"
"Oh yes." He firmed his grip on his knees, hugging, "He's dead too."
His sadness resolved itself into a flash of meaning for her, filling her up with admiration for him. Tihartien might be right. There was definitely something about Far she could love. "Far Biwo, are you mourning for a Sith Lord?"
"He was taken like a Jedi," Far lifted his head and propped his chin on his folded hands, staring at the water again, "As a baby. He never knew anything different, anything better, and, Romy, when he felt happiness he didn't know what it was."
She edged closer until she could put her arms around him and rest her cheek against his shoulder, not sure if she was comforting or comforted. Someone had taken an innocent baby, and corrupted it before it could even talk. What freedom had Iquitous ever had to be other than what he was?
"We were right to wipe them out," she said harshly, the sound of pain slightly muffled against Far's woodsmoke scented tunic, "For the sake of the children."
"It had to be stopped," Far agreed unhappily, and uncurled to return the hug - a small human warmth, sheltering them both against the necessity and blame of distant genocide.
Week 2, Day 7, Hour 23
The moonlight was fading, and Quilibet almost felt that her strength was fading, too, as Romy used her lightsaber to fell the tree they’d just selected. Keeping the beacon going took immense amounts of fuel, and transporting trees from the jungle to the pyramid had become their first priority. After their defeat of the Sith, the days had fallen into a regular pattern of working and resting. If the Jedi weren’t gathering wood, then they were looking for food. With the vampkis nibbling at the vegetables as well, the garden in the king’s palace was rapidly becoming depleted, and the Jedi scoured the neighbouring jungle for edible fruits, berries, and animals. Quilibet tried not to indulge herself with daydreaming about bread or pancakes, or even salt.
„Well, let’s get this one in,“ Romy said.
Quilibet sighed audibly as they hefted the tree to their shoulders, and Romy nodded. “I’m tired, too.“
„I don’t like it when I get exhausted so quickly,“ Quilibet said. She’d tapped into the Force automatically for help, but it was at a low, and hadn’t been much use. Nor was it helping to deflect the dull headache that never seemed to go away anymore.
„Neither do I. I’m a Jedi, not a jellyworm!“ Romy exclaimed, but did not hear an answering laugh.
“Can I ask a question?“ Quilibet was still serious.
„Yes, of course.“
„Do you think we’ll be rescued soon?“
„Yes, I do,“ Romy announced firmly.
„So you don’t think we should move on, and maybe try again to walk to the Kaligari? Master Biwo’s head is all right now and we don’t need to take care of him anymore. He can walk with the rest of us.“ Quilibet glanced around as though expecting to see him now that they had passed the city gates and were struggling down the broad avenue under the weight of the tree.
That was true, Far had been healthy for a while now, Romy realised. Still, the thought of slogging through the jungle feeling the way she currently felt was not exactly inviting. “Well, we could consider it, but why are you asking?“
Quilibet hesitated, then said,“Last night, before I fell asleep, I was wondering what would happen if we didn’t get rescued. If we had to spend the rest of our lives here. And ... I thought ... we might have to ... pair off. Eventually.“
She sounded so unenthusiastic that Romy stopped and looked back at her. “And you didn’t like that idea?“
„It doesn’t have to happen,“ Quilibet said quickly. “We could get rescued before we needed to take such a ... step.“
Romy got the feeling that Quilibet had been about to insert a negative adjective into her sentence and had only just stopped herself in time. “I firmly believe that we will be rescued very soon, Quil. But what is it about the idea that bothers you? Is it something about sex?“
Quilibet’s face burned with embarrassment and she was glad that Romy could not see it in the moonlight. “No. I mean, yes, a little bit, in a minor, off-topic kind of way. It’s just that ... you would get Master Biwo.“
Romy certainly hoped so.
„And then there’d only be Garos. And me and Ambianca.“
„Are you worried that he might choose her over you?“
„No, I’m worried it might be the other way around. I mean, Garos is ... adequate. But--“
Romy had never heard a teenage girl refer to an older boy as “adequate“ before, and raised her eyebrows.
„But he’s not ... well, I don’t know if I could ... it wouldn’t be like you and Tihartien,“ Quilibet finally stammered.
„You mean he’s not the kind of boy you’d imagined spending the rest of your life with? You don’t know if you’d want him or not? He wouldn’t be the love of your life?“ Romy guessed.
„Yes.“ After a moment, Quilibet said, “But what I’m really worried about, I mean, what I would be worried about, if this happened, which it’s not going to ... I’d be left out.“
„Oh, I see!“ Comprehension dawned. “And so if this happened, which it’s not going to, then we would theoretically want to consider walking over to the Kaligari in hopes of finding some other survivors, especially some other young males.“
„Yes -- theoretically.“
„Ah.“ Romy sat down on the bottom step of the pyramid and patted the section next to her. Quilibet sat down as well, turning to look at her as she said, “Well, if it looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a long time, then we’ll definitely head for the Kaligari. All right?“
Quilibet smiled. “All right. Thanks, master.“
Romy ruffled her padawan’s hair affectionately, which left many strands clinging to her hand. Brushing them off on the legs of her trousers and trying not to worry about how many there were, Romy asked, “So ... which male did you have your eye on? Tanni?“
„Master!“
„You’re right, it’s too hot to cuddle up next to a furry being. Jay?“
„No ... “
„Simeon.“
„Simeon and Obi-Wan tied me up on board the Kaligari. That’s not the kind of thing a girl forgets.“
„They tied you up?“ Romy turned slowly to look at her in complete disbelief.
„I made the mistake of becoming an expert in pitching tents while trying to teach Rin and Toms how to do it,“ Quilibet reminisced. “When the others found out, they, um, took us hostage. They didn’t want us to help because we actually knew what we were doing. Something about ruining their plan. I didn’t understand, and I still don’t. All I know is that Obi-Wan and Simeon took me into one of the bedrooms and tied me up and left me on the bed. And when I got out, I discovered that Jemmiah and Meri and the other girls had tied up Toms and Rin and left them in their cabin.“
„Right. I suggest we march right over to the Kaligari immediately and if they’re there, I’ll slice their kneecaps off. Nobody ties up my padawan.“
Quilibet smiled at the words “my padawan“ and at the warm, comforting feeling that Romy was ready to defend her against such an insult.
„Forgive me for thinking you didn’t show up for the tent-pitching contest because you were sulking. Was Zac in on that, too, or is he still in the running here?“
Quilibet sighed. She hadn’t thought about Zac for a long time. “I don’t know. I used to like him, but I think I’ve changed now, since we’ve been here. Actually I don’t think I could stand him any longer.“
Romy nodded approvingly. “You’ve grown up. So, that leaves ... who does that leave? Kason?“
„He might be nice,“ Quilibet conceded. “I don’t really know him, though.“
„Hmm. There’s only the masters left now. Dex Berlingside is definitely out. Mace Windu ... I just can’t see you two together, somehow. That leaves only Qui-Gon Jinn.“
„He’s definitely nice,“ Quilibet agreed. “Actually, my first choice would be Rin. If only he were five years older! But while I’m waiting, I could get along with Master Jinn. If he were free, of course. I wouldn’t want to think that Healer Leona was dead, but if she were ... And by the time -he- dies, well, Rin will be old enough by then to think about pairing off.“
Romy laughed out loud. “Qui-Gon may have grey hair, but I’m sure that’s due to his padawans, and not to the fact that he’s going to pop off in the next five years. So, that’s settled. If we pair off, you won’t be left out -- and you don’t feel left out now, are you?“
„No, of course not. We haven’t paired off yet, and it’s nice, all of us working together as a team.“
„Well --“ Romy opened her mouth to ask what Quilibet would think about her and Far deepening their friendship, but didn’t get the chance. There was a rumbling sound, increasing in intensity as it came towards them. Romy realised it was a ship just before it passed low overhead, blocking the stars and offering its running lights instead.
Week 2 Day 7 hour 23
Boomerang's little paws worked frantically at the fire-drill. There definitely was a curl of smoke rising from the pile of wood dust at its base.
With a snarl of dominance, Mr Fluffy pushed the admiring tribe back, scooped the new embers into a bundle of tinder and blew on it gently. Before long he was holding a double handful of fire.
"Yes!" Garos punched the air in a very unjedi salute. Ambianca grabbed Master Biwo's hands and they did a brief dance of joy before being overwhelmed by the hurled bodies, sharp feet and smell of wet hair which made up a vampki group hug.
Buried under a mass of the creatures, their happiness adding to her drug-induced cheer, Ambianca at first thought the noise was a vampki victory chant.
But then it hardened, grew metallic. The vampkis dropped away from her, cowering flat against the ground. A shockfront of displaced air flattened the plume of their beacon, whipped white horses on the lake, and bent the ancient trees of the orchard.
Eyes streaming from the blizzard, Ambianca looked up. Darkness came down as the ship eclipsed the moon, its underside seeming almost close enough to touch.
"A spaceship!" she shouted, her words thready in its engine noise, "A ship. We're rescued!"
The transport passed overhead, turned. Moonlight slithered over its pitted hull.
"Not a rescue." Master Biwo was standing straight, looking up.
"What?" Garos pulled his flying cloak tight, wrapped it around him as he followed his master's gaze.
"That's no judicial ship."
Ambianca had noticed the colour - of course - the unattractive and nondescript grey, with none of the comforting scarlet of Jedi livery, but she didn't see why that would cause Far to look so grim. "The Kaligari must have sent out a distress call," she yelled, "Who's to say it's not an honest Merchanter?"
The huge grey ship with its glowing blue repulsors pivoted unnaturally on the air and drifted towards the lightly forested slope where the city dwellers had built their graveyard. The rocky ground there was barren with the rubble of a million cairns.
"We're not on any trade routes here." Garos frowned with thought, obviously trying to follow his master's reasoning, "And a distress call can just mean easy pickings. Besides..."
"Besides," Far's head turned as Romy and Quil came running back through the main gate. "I know that ship."
He exchanged a glance with Master Tenax that made Ambianca's hackles rise - it was too full of shared memories. "You won't remember the Senate's drive to secure the spaceways. It was a big Jedi push against smugglers and slavers about ten years ago. But I know this ship from there - it was one that got away."
"They're slavers?" Horror struck Ambianca.
"No."
She breathed, shaky with relief.
"No. They're pirates."
It wasn't fair, Ambianca thought. Life as a Jedi wasn't meant to be like this, was it? From Sith Lords to pirates! Her Master had given her the impression that their job was mostly to attend coronations, to have big dinners with politicians and dance with princes. She had expected a life of glamour and respect, where the only thing she had to fear was that the Senator she sat next to might be fond of garlic.
Rescue she could have coped with - back to chocolate and holos and new clothes - but extra danger was simply ridiculous and she wasn't going to stand for it.
"There's not much we can do to fortify the place," Master Tenax was saying, "I suggest we just find somewhere to lie in wait for them."
"I don't see why we can't just double back and steal their ship while they're out looking for us." Ambianca said, waiting for one of the Masters to tell her what a stupid idea it was.
Garos was the first one to smile - it obviously appealed to his twisted sense of humour. Far looked from his apprentice to Ambianca and gave a very unmasterly giggle. "Just avoid these ones altogether?"
"There'll be a larger crew on board." Quilibet reminded them, with an air of someone haggling in the marketplace - rubbishing an item she secretly wanted to buy.
"But if we want a ship," Romy pointed out, "We'll have to fight them in any event. Why not do it now, when their numbers are reduced?"
Ahead, Mint Humbug gave a hoot of warning. Ambianca threw herself down and rolled into the tangled roots of the nearest tree, pulling her hood tight to cover the silver shine of her face.
A gutteral gargle of angry conversation in Huttese soiled the night. Pleased that she had studied so hard in Galactic Languages, Ambianca listened in, but it was hardly worth understanding:
"Watch it!"
"Yeh frelling klutz!"
She squinted at the voices, saw the shadowed figures of a skinny human and a Rodian, their outlines lumpy with equipment, hands full of blasters. It seemed that one had stumbled into the other, and they were now embroiled in a stare which would determine who would apologize.
"Kriffing trees," the Rodian growled.
"Yeah."
They were so sure of themselves they were making no attempt at all at stealth. Ambianca found that rather irritating. It would be such poetic justice when their ship lifted off without them.
A yip from ahead was Mr Fluffy, indicating she should move forward. She waited for 'Humbug to echo it and then rose, to slip through the dappled moonlight, ethereal as an elf.
At the edge of the forest she met up with the others. They were crouched behind a crumbling wall which marked the boundary of the cemetery field and nodded at her welcomingly as she arrived.
Beyond the wall lay a hundred metres of darkness and rubble, and then, blinding and very inconvenient, a circle of spotlit ground around the ship. They would not be able to pass it unseen. And the entry ramp was firmly locked.
"Here's the plan," Far shuffled to one side to let her perch on his section of log, instead of in the puddle below it, "We make a force-assisted dash across the lit area - avoiding any fire which may be forthcoming. Then we find places to hide under the hull."
"They're going to have to assume that we're cutting our way inside," Romy continued. Ambianca didn't like the way these two had started speaking interchangeably. She would have to do something about that, when they got home.
"And it's likely that what they'll do is lower the ramp and come out to find us. At that point we get into the ship, seal it, subdue any remaining crew on board and lift off. We do not engage the outside crew unless we have to. Understood?"
"Then we rescue our friends and go home," Ambianca finished, getting into the spirit of Jedi confidence she'd been taught to assume before battle.
It was going to be good to be the ones who swooped down on the other battered refugees from the Kaligari; to be very gracious, and accept their thanks with a modest smile...
"I think that's looking a little too far ahead, don't you?" Far said, smiling, "Focus on the moment now."
"Alright then." Romy looked around, gathered the gazes, nodded once and stood. "Let's go."
Lightsabres sliced the night. They leapt the wall, fanned out, racing into the light, into the killing zone, trying to outrun the guns.
Week 2, Day 7, Hour 23
Skidding slightly as she stopped running, Quilibet joined the rough circle beneath the belly of the ship, berating the fact that she was panting with the effort. Curse those radiation effects! They fanned out into a rough circle around the ramp, lightsabers held ready, and then they waited. There was a long pause in which nothing happened. Eventually, Garos reached for the control panel in what looked to be a very realistic attempt to force entry.
„I could try to hot-wire this,“ he called out quietly in Far’s direction.
„Shouldn’t we wait for them to just come out?“ Ambianca asked.
„They don’t look like they’re coming just yet,“ Garos replied.
„If they don’t come out, maybe we could cut our way in through one of the escape pods,“ Romy suggested.
„That would save us having to worry about holes in the hull,“ Far nodded, then asked, “Garos?“
„It’s complicated,“ Garos grunted. He had wrested the panel away to reveal the wiry innards and was contemplating them intently.
„Take your time,“ said Far.
There was a soft sliding sound and Quilibet, sensing danger through the Force, glanced up to the underside of the ship. There had been two large, ugly blisters there, one on each side. Now they had both split open to make way for --
„Quad cannons!“ Romy shouted.
As the bolts left the mouths of the cannons, the Jedi sprang into action, catching them with their lightsabers and deflecting them into the hillside at an angle. Quilibet staggered under the force of the energy bolt -- she’d never used her lightsaber against something of this size before, and had naiively assumed it would have the same ‘weight’ as any blaster shot.
„Keep working, Garos, we’ll cover you,“ Far called.
„We’ll do better than that!“ Ambianca shouted, leaping forward so that her lightsaber caught the next bolt and sent it back the way it had come. When the smoke cleared, the cannon sported a deep scorch mark. “Hah!“
The firing ceased. Ambianca took advantage of the opportunity to place her lightsaber against the side of the cannon, and as the metal began to melt, she forced the blade gently inwards.
„Chop the barrels off!“ she cried encouragingly.
„I don’t think that’s --“ Romy began, then stopped.
Quilibet had stepped forwards, intending to help her on the other side, but Romy’s words stopped her from applying her lightsaber. In that instant, there was a roar of outrage from the dark jungle beyond the spotlit area, and the zing of a blaster bolt. In the act of turning to face the new threat, Quilibet’s left leg exploded in fire and send her tumbling to the stony ground.
„Unnnh! Master!“ Quilibet couldn’t stop screaming. She’d never felt physical pain like it before. It paralysed her at first, and then she curled into a ball, trying to stop the pain by clapping her hands over the wound, but the movement and the pressure of her hands only caused new pain. “Master! Unnnh! Master!“
As much as she wanted to, Romy did not disengage her lightsaber and kneel down at her padawan’s side. She had already leaped protectively in front of her and was holding her blade ready to fend off any other attacks from the darkness outside the floodlit space. The other Jedi, even Ambianca, had also scrambled into a loose circle around her, facing outwards in four directions.
To make things worse, the entry ramp had begun to open at the time of the shot, and there was now a gap big enough to reveal the shape of a pirate, laying flat on the ramp on his back with her blaster pointed directly at them. Watching out of the corner of her eye, Romy saw something else make a flying exit from the ship; a furry, winged shape quite obviously carrying yet another blaster.
"How long before the boss is back breathing down our necks again?" Gunner Sewyel asked over his comlink into Gunner Emgee's headset.
"Until they find the other Jedi," Emgee replied, sounding bored and annoyed.
"And we're stuck sitting here. Can't even take advantage of the boss being out," Sewyel complained, his attempt at lighter conversation having fallen flat.
"It's been less than a tenth of a timepart and you're already getting on my nerves," Emgee snapped back with a click of her teeth. "Stop grumbling, shut up and stay alert!"
Sewyel heaved a sigh. It gusted over the comlink with a whistle of fedback. "It's supposed to be a rescue. Why man the guns anyway?"
Emgee growled as the electronic whine made her sensitive ears tingle. "Because the Captain said so! Now shut the kriff up!"
"Why'd a bunch of Jedi need rescuing anyway?" Sewyel wondered.
"Sew, you're not paid to think, you're paid to shoot things."
"You want to say that to my face?"
"Mmmm," Emgee purred back. "Yes, why not."
"Kriffing Togorian," Sewyel muttered. "Just because you're bigger."
"Can I help it if I'm a superior species?"
"So what's a superior being like you, a female, doing sitting in a gun turret twiddling her claws?" Sewyel teased.
"Maybe I enjoy it."
"Ha!" Silence followed Emgee's smug exclamation, although he wasn't long in breaking it. "Must take something pretty big to catch a bunch of Jedi on the hop."
"Hmph."
"A whole ship full of Wizards? Something took that on, and won?"
"Rrr."
"That took some balls. And serious firepower. Wonder if it's still around."
"-"
"Aw kriff, that's why the Captain's being careful, isn't it? Because he doesn't know if whatever caught those Jedi is still here."
"Someone got lucky," suggested Emgee. "Or unlucky."
"I heard a rumour that bunch of rock-juggler rejects was out this way. You think they could have done it if they bought some backup? Make sense. They don't like Jedi. I mean, look what Wiz did when he was out for revenge, and there's only one of him."
"Sewyel?"
"Yeah?"
"I wish you hadn't thought of that."
"Kriff."
"..."
"Did you hear something?"
"I heard you grumbling," Emgee told him. "Now shut up and let me listen."
"..."
"You're right. I hear voices," Emgee whispered.
"Ours?"
"I don't recognise them."
"Can you check? My securiholo link's playing up."
Emgee squinted at the output from the external security holocam, a tiny, blurry image on her wrist display. Her growl set Sewyel's teeth on edge and his trigger fingers itching.
"Kriff kriff kriff kriff kriff..." The Togorian began swearing quietly.
"That doesn't sound good."
"There's a bunch of beings with lightsabers out there, and one of them's in the ramp controls. Lit lightsabers."
"Kriff!" Sewyel instinctively reached for the turret controls. "Let's see what they make of quad canon."
Emgee heard the whine as Sewyel's turret opened and began to swivel. "One of them's only a kid!" she protested even as she activated the controls for her own turret. At least that way she could get a better look.
"A girl? That's them, I swear, it's them, they had a girl with them!"
Emgee had no need to pivot her guns to bring them to bear. She and Sewyel fired together. Both gunners stared and swore as the bolts were deflected, the girl with the group staggering under the assault but remaining untouched.
"What the Cha'Kanga are you doing!" The Captain's voice crackled over their headsets, managing to sound furious despite the electronic tones. "Cease fire!"
"It's the Jedi rejects!" Sewyel shouted back. "They're attacking the ship, sir!"
"Skkk!" The Captain's clicking alarm hissed back to the gunners. "Hold your fire. I'll take out a ground crew. Com Gunner again," they overheard just as the Captain killed the connection.
Sewyel reluctantly stilled his trigger finger, staring wide-eyed out of his turret to see one of the attackers now trying to slice through the gun barrel. "Kriff!"
There was a flash from the treeline. The kid fell, clutching her leg. The group outside swung around into a defensive circle, the quad canon safe from surgery for the moment.
"I think they commed Gunner," Emgee remarked.
*They've circled around us and made for the ship,* Gunner said as she put away her comlink, turning about and collecting up the rest of the group as she hurried back the way she had come.
Yowsa eyed Barin in disappointment. "Didn't you know?"
"If I knew everything, would I be here?" Barin asked wryly as they squelched through one of the muddier sections of terrain.
The whole group froze when they heard canon fire up ahead. Gunner swept an arm forwards and they broke into a run, the group spreading out slightly as they made speed over the broken terrain, their weapons at the ready. Barin swung onto the flank in case of ambush, waving Thom to the other side and leaving Seamus and Nya to watch the rear. Gunner's long stride carried to the front, but she stopped at the treeline, and her roar of dismay and fury shook the air. *My guns! What are they doing to my guns!*
Yowsa skidded up beside her, blaster skipping upwards in his hands. "I'll fire a warning shot!"
The bolt zipped across the clearing. One of the Jedi fell screaming near the base of the opening ramp.
"Bu... bu... bu..." Yowsa's blaster almost fell from his fingers. "I didn't..."
Barin's hand found Yowsa's shoulder and moved him firmly aside, his other hand tilting Gunner's large weapon slightly aside as he strode past to look at the scene beyond. He swung half way around on his heel, the ship and the little group of defensive, alarmed and injured Jedi to his left, the pirates to his right. "If everybody could please refrain from any further acts of destruction," he ordered with an edge of icy sarcasm, "there might actually be some survivors left to rescue."
"Quil! Stay with me, Padawan... Quilibet, can you hear me?" Trusting the others to guard her back - or negotiate, whatever these pirates wanted - Romy threw herself down at her padawan's side. The girl's leg was unbearable to look at - c
